28. It’s Not Okay
IT’S NOT OKAY
WREN
“Please, Gabe.” Clutching the Hunter’s hand with both of mine, I press my forehead against his fingers. “I know I’ve said it a thousand times, but I need you to wake up.”
The responding silence is mockingly loud, just as it was this morning, yesterday morning, and the morning before that. I keep waking up and rolling over, hoping to see Gabriel’s emerald eyes peering into mine only to find nothing there.
He has been in a deep sleep for over a month. According to Eva and Gallan, he should be awake, but something is wrong.
I sigh, a deep, shuddering exhale that racks my whole body, and scrub my hand over my face.
Sunlight is shining through the windows of our small cabin, casting yellowed rays on Gabriel’s skin.
Gone is his once healthy complexion. Even the day I found him broken and injured in the woods, he hadn’t been this pale.
“They keep telling me that you should be waking,” I whisper, kissing our joined hands. “No one knows why you’re still sleeping.”
His chest rises and falls, but that’s the only sign of life. After several minutes, I tear my eyes from him and look out the window to the trees beyond.
The camp, as it turns out, isn’t a city of tents at all. Rather, it’s a collection of log cabins deep in the Dark Forest. Gabriel and I were placed in a small cabin with an attached bathing room, which I’ve been grateful for since it’s allowed me to keep my promise and stay by his side.
A knock. “Wren, are you awake?” Skyler asks from the other side of the door.
Honestly, sometimes, I wish I weren’t. It would be easier if this were all a dream and Gabriel hadn’t been injured in the battle.
But it’s all achingly real. I’m here, Gabriel has yet to wake, and I am alone. Even Mist’s return a few days ago after we got to the rebel camp didn’t soothe the emptiness inside me.
I suspect that nothing will except for Gabriel.
I don’t want to burden Skyler with that, though, so I call out, “Yes.”
The knob turns, and the wooden door creaks open. She pops her head in, her hair in another crown braid, and she smiles softly. “Any change?”
“Nothing yet.” I shift on the bed, jostling the small amulet around Gabriel’s neck.
The silver token is an oval, the size of a coin, and it hums like the rubies inside the mountain. He was wearing it under his shirt when Gallan and Eva first healed him, and there didn’t seem to be any reason to remove it.
“I brought food. Can I come in?”
I nod, and Skyler steps inside, kicking the door shut behind her.
She’s balancing a tray, and she hooks a chair with her foot, dragging it over to the bed.
Like me, Skyler is wearing a black tunic and tight pants.
Unlike me, she looks rested. Since the battle, I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time without being plagued by nightmares.
Skyler places the tray on the bedside table, and I survey the contents. A green apple, a bowl of warm oats, and two small loaves of bread with a tiny container of red jam sit next to a pot of tea, the porcelain embellished with paintings of an autumnal forest, and two empty cups.
“I brought extras, in case he had woken during the night, but . . .” Skyler’s voice trails off, and she grimaces. “I’m sorry, Wren.”
I pull over the other chair and slump into it, rubbing my temples.
“Thanks. Me too.” I’m not sure what else to say. It’s not okay, and honestly, I’m not sure anything ever will be again. “It feels like years have passed, not a month, since the battle.”
Sometimes, my prior life feels like a dream. Like my upbringing in Grenbloom, growing up with Amelia, being raised to be Given, watching my best friend be murdered, and fleeing my Giving Ceremony was all some insane story I dreamed up one night.
But it wasn’t. Amelia’s bracelet dangles on my left wrist, a reminder that everything was all too real. The Given really do die, I really do have magic, and Gabriel really is asleep. I’ve been trying to stay strong, but it’s becoming more and more difficult.
I reach for the tray and pour two cups of tea, focusing on the steaming liquid instead of my inner turmoil.
I keep one for myself and hand the other to Skyler. She takes it with a small smile. “Thanks, Wren.”
The tea is dark and has a deeply herbaceous flavor. I hadn’t tried this blend before coming here, and it’s taken a few times for it to grow on me.
We sip our tea in silence for several minutes before Skyler clears her throat. “You know, you never told me how you two met.”
I look up. “Gabe and I?”
“Yes.” Skyler tilts her head. “I’ve never met a Blessed and an Inherited who share a fated bond before. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.”
That makes two of us. “To be honest, I’m not sure about what the bond entails.”
I’ve been meaning to talk to the seer about it, but it will have to wait until Gabriel wakes up. If he wakes up. If he doesn’t, then the bond doesn’t matter, does it?
The dark thought has my breath catching in my throat, and tears prick at my eyes. Suns, I feel so fucking helpless right now.
My half-empty teacup shakes as I put it aside and retake Gabriel’s hand. The rebels never replaced the shadestone manacles, and I’m grateful for that. With everything that’s happened, the last thing I need is to feel like a prisoner right now.
Skyler doesn’t push me, sitting with me in silence as several minutes pass.
My Mark’s sheen covers both our hands as I press my cheek against Gabriel’s fingers. He may not be awake, but his touch is still comforting. Is that the bond?
“What Gabriel and I have is . . . complicated,” I eventually say, running my thumb down his hand. My eyes remain trained on his face, hoping that this will be the moment he wakes.
There’s no movement, and my lips tug into a frown.
“Oh?” Skyler arches a brow.
She doesn’t push me for answers, and I like that about her. She’s never interrogated me, and I get the sense that she’s here because she cares about me not because she’s taking part in some information-gathering mission on behalf of the People of the Wilting Roses.
“Very complicated, if I’m honest.” Gently placing Gabriel’s hand back on the bed, I pick up a small loaf off the tray.
Splitting the bread in half, I smear jam across the inside before taking a bite. The spread is sweet and tart at the same time, and it tastes incredible. There’s something about it that reminds me of the moonberries Amelia and I used to collect, although those were more purple than red.
When I’m finished, I refill my tea from the pot and cup the mug, letting the warmth seep into my fingers.
“Before Gabe and I were . . . this”—I gesture vaguely to him, then me as if that explains anything—“things between us were a little different.”
I hardly know how to define what Gabriel and I have right now. Are we allies? Friends? Partners in being hunted by the king? None of these seems quite right.
Skyler sips her tea. “How . . . different?”
I lean in. “Well, for starters, you know he’s a Hunter, right?” Or he was.
She nods. “Mm-hmm.”
“He was hunting me.”
Skyler almost drops her cup, her eyes comically wide. “What?!”
I can’t help but chuckle. It’s odd to hear the sound of amusement from my lips when all I’ve felt the past few weeks is worry. On one hand, it feels good to smile, but on the other, how can I be smiling when my friends are dead and Gabriel is in this endless sleep?
Turmoil rolls through me, and I stand, trying to shake off the odd feeling.
Tracing the back of the chair, I drink the last of my tea as memories of the day I met Gabriel run through my mind.
Him waking up, flirting, and then the horror that both of us felt when we realized who the other person was.
I add, “That’s not all.”
“What else could there be?”
“Since I saved his life, he gave me a gift.”
Skyler grins, her eyes twinkling. “We like gifts.”
Normally, sure. But I’m still not convinced the Hunter knows how to give a proper gift.
“Not this one.” I release the back of the chair. “Gabriel gave me a very interesting gift. He gave me a day.”
A crease forms between her brows. “You mean . . .”
“It was a very generous gift.” The raspy words come from the bed, and my heart leaps in my chest. “One day’s head start.”