29. I Missed You
I MISSED YOU
WREN
Blessed, burning suns.
I whip my head around, and my fingers spasm. My teacup falls, forgotten, but Skyler must snatch it because I don’t hear it smash. I can’t focus on that right now.
Emerald eyes meet mine, and suns fucking save me, they’re vivid and alert and full of life. Relief rushes through me, and I cry out. Shoving my chair out of the way, I fall to my knees beside the bed. A curse may slip from my lips. Maybe two.
I barely feel Skyler’s touch on my upper arm, barely hear her mention that she’s going to give us time alone. I must nod because she squeezes my shoulder and leaves, shutting the door behind her, but it hardly registers.
I’m drowning in emeralds, and I never want to be anywhere else.
“Hi,” I whisper, as eloquent as ever. But who the fuck cares about things like articulateness right now when Gabriel is finally awake?
He pushes himself up on his elbows, and I scramble for extra pillows, adding them to the stack already behind him.
“Hey, little bird,” he rasps.
I’ve never heard a better sound. Tears rush to my eyes, and I clasp my hand over my mouth. “You’re awake,” I mumble, the sounds muffled.
For all the times I thought about this moment, I didn’t plan what I’d say.
“I am.” Gabriel reaches for my hand, pulling it from my face. His movements are stiff as he takes my fingers in his. “I missed you.”
The raspy confession is all it takes for my heart to crack right down the middle. It splits in half, and I can’t even find it in myself to care. Burning tears flow down my cheeks, unchecked. I’ve been staying strong for weeks, but finally, I can let my walls down.
The bond, incomplete though it may be, thrums with intense relief.
“Oh, no,” Gabriel murmurs, sweeping his thumb across the back of my hand. The small movement sends another rush of tears flowing down my cheeks. “Don’t cry, little bird.”
Even though his voice is rough, the fact that the Hunter is talking at all feels like a miracle. I make a mental note to thank Eva and Gallan, because there is no doubt in my mind that without them and their help, Gabriel wouldn’t be here right now.
I half hiccup, half sob, relieved that he’s awake, and shake my head. He’d have better luck asking the suns not to shine. “I can’t stop.”
There are far too many emotions rearing their heads inside me all at once, and I can’t sort through them. Not right now.
“Okay.” Understanding shines in Gabriel’s eyes. “I get it; it’s a lot.”
I nod, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. “I just . . . I thought I’d be alone again.”
In the quietest hours of the darkest nights, fear had wormed its way into me. That he would never wake up and that I’d be alone forever.
But now, he’s awake, and I can breathe more easily. Or I would be able to if I wasn’t sobbing. Wet trails course down my cheeks, and my chest hurts.
“Come here, Wren.” In a movement that probably isn’t recommended for a man who just woke from a long sleep, Gabriel reaches for me.
“I don’t think you should—”
“Shh.”
I should probably be insulted by the way he shushed me, but words escape me when Gabriel picks me up as though I weigh nothing at all.
He settles me on the bed next to him, wrapping his arm around me and holding me close.
His lips brush the top of my head. By the gods, such a small movement has no right feeling so incredible.
“Let it all out, Wren. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs.
That last sentence, an echo of the same one I made to him, has those fucking tears flowing even faster. Rivers pour from my eyes. Who knew it was possible to cry so much during a joyous occasion? Certainly not me.
My shoulders shake, and I bring my hands to my face, hiding behind my palms. Gabriel holds me close against his chest. I press my face against his tunic, and it’s soaked in seconds, but he doesn’t seem to care. He is a strong rock behind me.
I will never have to be alone again because I have a partner. A fated mate.
This is the first time I’ve thought of him as such, and the truth of what it means slams into me so fast my tears dry up, gone as quickly as they had appeared.
I have a fated mate, and I will never be alone.
For the first time since Gabriel and I met, I wonder if he was sent to me. Yes, the Given stick together . . . But the Given die.
Death is the destiny of the gods-blessed.
Maybe Gabriel was sent to help me wade through the difficulties of this life.
Maybe with him, I can find a way to the other side.
I have no idea what’s going to come next or how we’re going to deal with another Giving Season.
Up until now, I’ve cast it from my mind, but I know I can’t do that forever.
Winter will soon turn into spring, which will become summer.
Then the season of death will be upon us once again.
But somehow, the thought of facing another Giving Season isn’t as frightening as it could be. Because Gabriel is here, and we will tackle it together.
I’m not sure how long I stay snuggled against Gabriel’s chest before he gently shifts us, pulling us both into a seated position.
I can feel him studying me, so I take the opportunity to do the same.
Scruff decorates the bottom half of his face, and his skin has already regained a bit of color.
Less ghost-adjacent and more sickly, it’s still an improvement.
Dark bags hang under his eyes, and I restrain my urge to brush my fingers over them.
“How long has it been?” His deep voice pulls me out of my thoughts. Gods, it’s good to hear that sound again.
“What do you mean?”
“How long was I . . . asleep?” he asks in the soft tone I’m still not used to hearing from him.
I lick my lips. “Over a month.”
“Fuuuck.” He draws out the word as though it contains several syllables, and he pulls away from me. “That’s . . . Gods. I just need a minute.”
I nod as he rises to his feet, walking to the bathing room on unsteady legs. I hear the rush of water, and several minutes pass before he returns, retaking his spot beside me.
“It doesn’t feel like a month has passed,” he says.
“I assure you, it has.” It’s felt like a year for me. “Do you remember anything?”
His lips thin, and he slowly shakes his head. “Not really. I remember the king’s soldiers arriving, and the start of the battle, but I don’t recall what happened after that. Only that something must have gone wrong for me to end up here.”
That feels like an understatement.
“It did.” Leaning across the Hunter, I pour him a glass of water from the jug on the nightstand. Once it’s in his hands, I walk him through everything that happened. The battle, defeating the king’s soldiers, and the wounds he received.
I start crying again, telling Gabriel about how he wouldn’t wake up no matter how much I begged for him to do so.
I tell him about Eva and Gallan, and how they looked after him.
That he’s probably still alive because of them and their treatments.
About traveling through the tunnels to the camp and my growing friendship with Skyler.
“Mist is here, too.” I dab my palms against my cheeks. “She seems very attached to you, for a panther.”
“Yes, she is.” Gabriel’s searching gaze sweeps through the cabin.
“She’s out hunting. Having a panther around was making some people nervous, so they placed us in a cabin on the edge of camp. Mist has been coming back every night, but she spends her days in the woods, staying on this side of the net.”
His brows furrow. “The net?”
“It’s . . . hard to explain. There is a web of magic around the camp. It protects them, cloaking them from the king’s sight.”
Gabriel traces his amulet. “I see,” he says, and it seems like he does. “I’m glad Mist can come and go as she pleases. She seems happy.”
A year ago, a statement like that would’ve struck me as peculiar, but considering I possess magic and a fated bond, I don’t really think I’m in any position to question this type of thing.
“I think she is.” Even though Mist is large, especially when compared to the size of the animals I used to rescue at home, it’s been nice to have her around. “She’s been sleeping at the foot of our bed every night.”
The moment the words are out of my mouth, I inhale sharply.
My heart skips a beat, and even though part of me wishes Gabriel missed what I just said, I know the chances are slim.
He is far too perceptive. Sure enough, when I meet his eyes once again, I swear they’re darker than before.
A mossy green filled with hunger—for me.
“‘Our bed’?” he repeats, and suns fucking save me, this would be a great time for the floor to open up and swallow me whole. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I have one gods-damned normal conversation with the Hunter?
Unfortunately, since the ground doesn’t devour me, I’m stuck here as his careful gaze sweeps over me slowly. My skin tingles, and heat that has nothing to do with my Mark engulfs me.
It feels like an eternity passes before Gabriel lifts his eyes, looking over my shoulder.
I don’t need to turn around to know what he’s looking at. The other, smaller bed resting against the far wall. It’s clearly untouched, save for the missing pillow, which is next to him. That, along with the extra blankets on the bed and the words I just spoke, tell an interesting story.
Silence stretches, and I squirm, wishing I’d kept my mouth shut.
The more time passes, the more I feel the need to justify what I said. Sharing Gabriel’s bed when it was the only one available was one thing, but things are different now. I could’ve slept on my own . . .
But I didn’t.
“When we first got to camp and got settled, I tried the other bed. But the nightmares . . .” Shivers overtake me, and I draw up my knees, hugging them.
There had been so much blood and death, so many horrendous things that had flashed through my mind in quick succession.
Dragons and priestesses and evil kings with dark, crimson magic had haunted me. “I couldn’t sleep, so I came here.”