4. Mack
4
MACK
I continue my caress as Aerin relaxes.
She’s falling asleep now.
There’s not a lot I’m afraid of in this world. When you’ve lost your pack and almost all of your family, your view of the world changes. The things that once terrified me as a boy and even a few years ago are not the same things, and I’m not sure exactly when my world view spun on its axis.
Probably the moment I saw Aerin, the beautiful omega with soft brown hair, freckles over her nose, eyes like a summer storm, and who smells like a heaven. The world—or at least her former mate—had tried to break her spirit. She hadn’t broken, though some would. I don’t think she knows how truly strong she is.
I’m holding my heart in my arms and I’m constantly aware that this world took my family and my pack from me before, and I don’t know that I could handle losing Aerin and the baby.
My dad walked out of my life and the Raleigh Pack without a single word. I never saw him again until he waltzed back into my life and my kitchen a few months ago. I had thought he was dead. So I started over. Got a job. Found a place to stay. Built myself a new life with a pack I love and would do anything for.
None of it was easy. Since dad started dodging my calls and Ivy was always too busy to talk, my anxiety has been mounting. Winter Lake is out of the way, I tell myself. Trouble can’t touch us here. Before Aerin picked up a postcard and got a bus here looking for a place to recuperate, no one even knew we existed.
Now they do. Her abusive mate Shane knows where we are, and so will everyone he told when I beat him in an Alpha challenge and sent him back to Minnesota to lick his wounds.
Aerin mutters something. I slide out from under the covers, peer down at her beautiful face, relaxed in sleep, and get to my feet.
She’s sleeping and her gift has been acting up, but she’s perceptive. Soon she’ll sense the anxiety I’ve been keeping from her isn’t only because of not knowing how to care for a baby.
It’s more.
A lot more.
I pull a T-shirt over my head on the way to the door. I usually sleep naked, but the nights are getting cooler, so I’ve taken to wearing shorts and Aerin has been sleeping in one of my shirts.
She has a closet full of prettier clothes and nicer things to wear to bed, but she always seems to prefer sleeping in something that smells like me. I love that she wants to sleep in my clothes. So does my wolf.
Quietly closing the bedroom door so I don’t wake Aerin, I jog down the staircase, not bothering to flick on a light, through the entryway, and out into the backyard.
It’s the middle of the night in Winter Lake, and away from the noise and pollution of a big city, stars blanket the night sky. A wind rustles the trees at the bottom of the garden as I walk down the slope to the white plastic loungers and slip onto the empty one.
“You know, I keep telling you to replace these things.” Bennett’s tone is dry as he gives me a wry look. “I put one leg onto it and nearly rolled down your garden. How you and Aerin can share one of these things…” He shakes his head.
Ordinarily I’d smile, crack a joke even, but I just nod. “I’ll replace them before the baby comes.”
I feel Bennett watching me. “There’s been no trouble in town. And there won’t be. Not with all of us keeping watch. Aerin and the baby are safe. I’m sure whatever Ivy and your dad are dealing with has nothing to do with us here. They just sent the warning to be careful.”
As I stare into the forest, I try to breathe through my fear. “She’s my heart, Bennett. If anything happened to her and the baby…”
He squeezes my shoulder. “Aerin will be fine. What did your dad say to have you this rattled?”
That’s the problem. I tried calling him again earlier as I was unloading the groceries from the car, and again he didn’t answer.
“It’s not what he said, it’s what he didn’t say. He’s hiding something. Whatever kept him and Ivy from Aerin’s baby shower was serious. That he isn’t telling me means it’s something to worry about.”
Bennett nods, though his expression doesn’t change. He’s my second in command, head of security, friend, and advisor, all rolled into one. “What about Ivy?”
Aerin’s aunt is an omega, and perhaps the first female Alpha in shifter history, with gifts as incredible as Aerin. Months ago, I saw her embrace a shadow wolf ability and kill the old Alpha of the Lonergan Pack with painful ease. “She’s quiet too, and she’s been finding reasons to hang up as soon as possible when Aerin calls her.”
If Aerin wasn’t pregnant, and I wasn’t worried about walking right into whatever potential trouble they’re dealing with, I’d suggest we pack up the car and go see them.
Bennett frowns. “And you think it’s because of this… whatever this is?”
“Aerin has been worried about the baby for the last few months. She’s worried she won’t know how to be a good mother. Worried she might die like her mom. Worried about so many things that now she’s truly excited about the baby, and Ivy doesn’t want to kick that excitement right back to anxiety again. That’s what I think.”
Bennett blinks. “Sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
I shrug. “Maybe.”
Talk about understatement. I’m surprised I don’t have deep grooves permanently etched into my forehead.
“Too much.” He observes me for a beat. “And not enough time sleeping. It’s pitch black out here and I swear your eyes are glowing red.”
I snort, amused. “When did you become a joker?”
“When a certain woman convinced me that I need to learn to crack a joke or two.”
“So it wasn’t when Penny smashed a cake in your face?” I grin.
I hadn’t believed him or Penny when, months before, Penny had baked a cake, frosted it, and driven down to Bennett’s auto repair shop to smash a cake in his face when he messed things up with Helena and let her leave town.
I’d laughed for a solid five minutes as I’d pictured Bennett scraping frosting out of his eye, and I haven’t let him forget it since then.
He blows out a heavy sigh. “You’re tempting me to tip you over,” he warns. “And in these rickety loungers, it won’t be hard. Have you spoken to Aerin about the potential move yet?”
I lift a finger to my lips and peer back at the dark house, so he knows to keep his voice down. Aerin is asleep, and she sleeps deeply, but I’d rather she didn’t find out about that until I have some clue about where we would be moving to. “Have you spoken to the rest of the pack about it?”
He nods. “Helena liked the thought of having our own compound. It’s probably the only thing she misses about living with the Boones. It’s nice to have everywhere around you just be yours. I texted Tina and Warren. They seemed up to it. Not spoken to Chris and Zoe yet, but they’re even more private than me and Helena, so I don’t think they’d have a problem with it.”
I quietly asked Adela and Aerin’s grandparents. They were ready to pack tomorrow, which is not the reaction I’d expected. If I’d known everyone was up for this, I’d have mentioned this before now.
Fear of the unknown has tempered all this excitement. First, we have to figure out whatever is making my dad and Aerin’s aunt so closed-mouthed, then we can have a pack meeting and figure out this new future for the pack together.
He reclines in his lounger and crosses his arms. “Go inside and sleep. I’ll watch over you and Aerin.”
“And Helena? How does she feel about you camping out on my lounger all night?” I get to my feet, not just exhausted by my overactive fears lately, but eager to get back to Aerin.
In the near distance, I hear a car door open and I smile as I glance at the side of the house, guessing who's about to walk this way.
“She insisted on coming with me.” Bennett shoots me a wry look. “Maybe I can convince her to share this lounger with me.”
“Doubtful.” Helena snorts as she comes into view, wearing a pair of jeans, a blue sweater, and her hair braided. “Have you seen the size of Bennett? We’d be on the grass the second I put one leg on that lounger. I’m surprised he’s not fallen through it yet.”
Helena is still too early in her pregnancy to be showing any hint of a baby bump yet. She was an enforcer for the Boones, one of the biggest and most respected packs in the country. She can more than look after herself, which is why Bennett won’t have a problem with her guarding with him.
“Why does it sound like you’re calling me fat?” Bennett grumbles, but I spot a hint of a smile curving his lip as he holds a hand out to her. “Come here, baby. It’s cold. Maybe some of this fat can keep you warm.”
In the darkness, she’s a little paler than usual, but she looks a lot less green than I’ve seen her before. “How’s the morning sickness?”
She swallows. “Okay. Now. But I wish someone had told me it is not reserved for mornings only. I’d have known to keep a bucket with me and not just beside my bed.”
“Ask Adela for ginger tea. She has a tea for everything,” I suggest.
Helena glances at Bennett. “He already has. It helps. Doesn’t get rid of all the sickness, but a little is better than not at all.”
Bennett helps Helena onto the lounger, and despite her comment about his weight, they do not crash to the ground or tip the lounger over.
Bennett is wrapping his arms around her as she rests her head on his shoulder when I swallow a yawn. “Don’t stay out here all night.”
“Won’t,” Bennett says, already sounding so content, I wouldn’t be surprised to find him snoring out here tomorrow morning. “I’m sure my fat can only keep this one warm for so long.”
Helena sounds like she’s smiling when she mutters. “Shut it. I wasn’t calling you fat.”