25. Emi
Ithought Wolf had kissed me the first time, but now I knew how much he’d been holding back. The way he kissed me now, like he was worshiping me, eclipsed anything before it. It defied belief that he could want me this way after the way I’d treated him and blamed him.
He should have cast me away. Instead he was kissing every exposed bit of my skin and murmuring sweet nothings.
“So beautiful.” Wolf’s voice was low and hoarse, and it did unspeakable things to me.
My body buzzed with need. A current zapped along my spine and sizzled down my lower back. Helpless to resist, I arched into him, seeking friction where he rested between my legs.
“Please.” I didn’t even know what I was asking for, only that I wanted more. My body begged for release already, but more than I wanted to chase it, I wanted this to go on forever. To never stop feeling his lips, the scrape of his stubble, the heat of his skin against mine. His arm wrapped around me as his mouth claimed mine again, dragging a long moan from me.
Pulling me close, he hauled me upright so that we knelt together, my bare chest pressed to his.
“I want to take my time with you, kitten, but you’re making it hard with sounds like that.”
Just because I could, I leaned in and moaned again while I sucked the dip where his neck and shoulder met on the side opposite his scar.
“Now you’ve done it,” he growled.
Tugging me flush to his body, his hands dipped to my hips where his fingers masterfully unfastened my skirt. All the while his lips roamed my shoulders and neck, dragging lines of carnal fire where he grazed his teeth up my throat.
Every heightened emotion merged with the next flare of heat, building their way to a sea of Yes and More and Wolf spilling from my mouth. He slipped my skirts down my thighs and tossed them aside, his gaze remaining locked on mine. Not until he’d shed his trousers did he let his eyes drift down.
“Clouded skies, Emi, look at you. You steal the breath from my lungs.”
He wasn’t so bad himself. Even with trousers on, I’d drooled over the delicious lines of muscle that dipped out of sight, and now that I could see everything, well…let’s just say I was counting my hidden stars. I wanted to stay like this forever, holding each other and touching and exploring, but Wolf had other ideas.
Grabbing me by the knees, he upended me onto my back and followed me down. Our bodies notched perfectly together and, oh, I was wrong before. This was better. This was what I wanted.
He kissed me again while one hand skimmed down my belly to give me shivers that delighted my entire body. Then his magical fingers found the core of me and began to set me alight. I didn’t know I could fly so high, but every touch was consuming, lifting me higher and higher. This man who had every reason to hate me was touching me like I was the most incredible thing he’d ever seen, whispering unintelligible things in my ear before he sucked the lobe between his sharp teeth and I almost lost myself right then.
“More, Wolf, I want you. All of you.”
“I want all of you too, little witchling. Not just your body, but your clever mind and your kind soul. Your sweet lips and your pure heart.”
I didn’t see how he could call me good or pure-hearted when I’d been so oblivious to what was going on. Not when I’d been horrible and called him a liar more times than I could count.
I must have tensed, because he pulled back from kissing me and rose to align our bodies. “But for now, this is enough. Will you give me this, sweetheart?”
I smiled and nodded. “Yes. Please.”
He lined us up. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, he joined our bodies together. I could hardly bear the sweetness of his restraint and was writhing for more long before he gave it to me. His hand on one hip anchored me to the bed so that he set the pace at which I got to have him. I hated it and I loved it, and I wanted it so badly I could scream.
I wondered if I would ever get over this, or if every other time would be compared to this for the rest of my life.
When he was buried all the way to my soul, he stilled and waited for me to adjust, but I didn’t need time. We felt amazing together, a fullness inside me that was more than flesh and heat, with no seam between where he ended and I began. He filled me completely, my heart and lungs expanding even as his weight sank into me. Then he began to move, and I forgot how to think. I barely remembered how to breathe. I stopped squirming for more and let him set the pace. All I could do was follow his lead and let him turn me inside out with fiery pleasure. I could never get enough of this. Of him.
I clutched at the nape of his neck, pulling him down. He came easily, as if we’d shared the same thought at the same instant, and he sealed my mouth with a crushing kiss. I felt taken. Possessed by every thrust. Surrounded by his body, inside and out. I felt claimed and protected.
I felt treasured.
My fingers gripped his hips hard enough to bruise. It only made him groan into my mouth and push one of my legs up so he could take me deeper. I wanted everything he would give me, to be as tangled into one as we could be.
I felt it then. In the midst of a wave of heat building inside me, my heart reached for him, wanting to claim him right back. The feeling was so overwhelming, I faltered.
Wolf slowed his rhythm and looked down on me with his pupils blown wide, pushing out the silvery-grey to beautiful shining rings. “Sunbeams, Emi, you feel perfect. You’re a dream I never thought I’d have. Let go, sweetheart. Let me catch you.”
There was such a proprietary way to how he looked down on me, so fierce yet gentle at the same time, that it was more romantic than if he’d told me he loved me. That wasn’t what this was, I knew that, but it felt like something. It was special and bright like sunshine, and I’d never realized how good it could be. My body had never felt so light and free and beautiful. I ached with it.
He dove back in for another kiss, beseeching and commanding at once, and the sensation of Right and Mine and Home poured into me while his tongue plundered and danced with mine. Heat swelled inside me when Wolf shifted our position by lifting my hip, the changed angle making me cry out with renewed pleasure.
How had this happened? How had it come to be that Wolf was the one who lit me up and made me feel more alive than ever? Why did it feel like Wolf was personally responsible for the beautiful things left in this world, and for me wanting to see them, finally? Wolf was passion and certainty, and having all of that focused on me was blindingly heady.
Deep inside, at some fault line through my soul, I trembled at the enormity of it. For right now, Wolf was all mine, and I was his, and I wanted to give myself to him fully.
I let go of the hurt and the anger. There wasn’t much left anyway. I let the pain of my family’s betrayal slide from my shoulders and let Wolf replace it with the hot glide of pleasure between our bodies. The silky, velvety ache thrummed and I knew I was close to falling over the edge. Reason and restraint were distant memories.
“Wolf.” I whimpered his name. “Harder.”
He chuckled a breathy laugh. “That’s my line. I believe you were trying to stab me at the time. Faster. Harder. That’s what I told you.”
“Then show me what you meant. I need a lesson,” I said coyly, knowing exactly how to amp him up.
“Hold on to me, witchling.” As if I weighed nothing, he brought me with him to the edge of the bed and pressed one knee up. With the added leverage of a foot on the floor, he showed me exactly what he’d meant.
Our breaths picked up that edge of desperation, and the sounds we made together were a chaotic symphony of passion. It set me on fire. The heat turned bright and hungry inside me, building and consuming as I met him thrust for thrust. My nerves became silver threads of light that sang for him, and oh, sunbeams, he was beautiful. The soft parting of his lips as he groaned out my name, the flash of his teeth gritted in agonizing ecstasy, the sweat curling his hair and the flex of his shoulders as he worked me to the edge.
We were in sync, our pleasure shared, no line between us, and we crashed over the cliff as one. I shattered apart at the seams, yet as the pieces tumbled freely, I was somehow perfectly whole. Light fractured into rainbows and I slammed my eyes shut against the beauty, wanting only to feel. And it turned out it was easy to let go when you could trust another person to catch you, when you let the flames of desire consume every fear, every worry, and every tightly held doubt. I fell into Wolf as he fell into me, and we lay tangled together for heartbeat after heartbeat as we came down from the high, neither one ready to break the precious bond glowing softly between us.
I didn’t know how to accept this, but somehow I had. I didn’t just want this one time, I wanted more. I wanted his sorrows and his doubts and his failures, and I wanted his joy and his teasing and his triumphs. My days of denial were over. I was falling for Wolf.
My body was deliciously sore in all the best ways the next day, especially after waking up with Wolf’s arm around me and his desire obvious where he was nestled against my back. It didn’t take more than a few breathy moans before he was slipping back inside me after kissing his way up my back. He held me like that, my back to his chest, and took me slower and sweeter than the first time. My eyes prickled as I floated back to my body after.
When we finally rose, we set about the task of completing Wolf’s destructive search. This time I dedicated myself to inspecting every nook and board as we set the cottage back in order, determined to find whatever anchored the curse here. We spent the next few days talking endlessly about how the curse worked and how we might try to break it, only pausing when we tumbled into the bedroom together, which was often. Each day, I chewed several heart-shaped Silphium leaves from Grandma’s garden for contraception since whatever Wolf and I were doing, it wasn’t permanent. I tried hard to keep my feelings in check, focusing on the importance of the task at hand.
My magic became easier to control as I practiced healing all the nicks and cuts Wolf managed to acquire while he was fixing some of the furniture and walls he’d broken. I began to suspect he was getting injured on purpose so I’d have something to practice with.
One thing I learned was that I couldn’t heal myself. Not so much as a sliver, much to my chagrin. If the cost of my magic was not being able to help myself, I could live with that.
No matter how much I tried, though, I couldn’t heal away the curse. I spent ages standing at the edge of the clearing, trying to will small wisps of Mist into oblivion, but aside from the ones that swirled from my waving hands, I had no effect. Nor did I have any effect on Wolf in his cursed form. We tried again and again, venturing into the forest so he could become the wolf and I could try to “heal” him back to a man. Nothing worked. It did result in lots of him getting naked, though, and I couldn’t regret those side benefits.
Weary from another day of failure, we sat together on the couch in front of a brightly burning fire, me tucked into his side with my legs draped over his lap. He was idly twirling a lock of my hair with one hand and brushing tickling lines up and down my arm with the other.
“I wonder what cost Grandma paid to awaken curse magic. It must have been bad.” I shivered, only partly from the gentle brush of Wolf’s fingertips on my skin.
“Maybe it’s why she was out here all alone,” Wolf mused.
“Maybe. She was always a loner, as long as I’ve known her.”
He chuckled. “You rhymed.”
“Hush.”
“A poet and a witch. You’re extremely talented.”
“And a baker. Don’t forget that.”
He dropped his hand to rub his stomach. “Never. That’s my favorite talent of yours.”
“Your favorite? Are you sure?” I teased.
In response, he leaned in to nip at my bottom lip. “Careful, witchling, or you’ll give me ideas.”
With every casual touch and flirtation, he never failed to make my belly clench and send butterflies soaring. “Maybe I want to give you ideas.”
“Insatiable. I’m adding that to the list. And don’t worry, I have plans for you later, witchling. There is something, though…Something I should have told you already.”
Worried, I studied his face. “What is it?”
“You know about the three witches and the prophecy.”
I nodded, but I wanted to hear the details from Wolf too. He obliged, explaining more of what Hawk had told me.
“It’s that line—the power will apply, To they whose hands shall shed the witch’s blood—that makes me wonder…”
“That’s you, though. You shed her blood, so you should have the power to end it, right?”
He chewed his lip thoughtfully. “I thought so, but there’s more than one interpretation for blood. Literal blood doesn’t seem to have worked. But there’s also blood shared between families.”
His meaning was immediately clear. “You think it means me? Because I’m related to her?”
“I don’t know, Em. I don’t know what I think.” The wretched look on Wolf’s face pained me.
“Well, if you think I’m the anchor to this curse, then why haven’t you killed me already? My life isn’t worth more than the lives of everyone back at the enclave.”
“Don’t minimize yourself like that, witchling. Your life is worth as much as anyone else’s.” In a quieter voice, he added. “You’re worth everything.”
I wasn’t, though. I never had been. Sure, I could cook and clean, bake for the market, and balance the books, but I’d never been more than that to anyone.
I’d never been seen the way Wolf saw me.
“Besides,” he continued. “By the time I realized it could mean that, it was too late for me. You’d already burrowed deep in here.” He patted his heart. “I could never hurt you, Em. Never again.”
No one had ever put me first that way. I wasn’t sure I deserved it, but I wanted to thank Wolf for the feeling. I could sense the cracks he had already made in me, in the walls around my heart, and for the first time, I wanted to let them crumble.
“I promised you that you didn”t let your family down, and I won”t either,” I told him.
“Not if it means spilling your blood. I’d rather remain cursed here forever than let you do that. I’d rather curse us all again than lose you.” His oath was deep and dark, cutting right through me. I half wanted to tackle him back to the bed for those plans he’d teased me with.
“I don’t particularly want to die.”
“Good, because I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself for us. Besides, you’re not Ruby’s only relative. I doubt you’re willing to throw your sister on the pyre, no matter how much I think she deserves it for how she treats you.”
I had to smile. He was cute when he got protective. “True. And who knows where my mother is, so that’s a dead end.”
“The Amber Witch,” he started. “She might be able to help. I’m set to see her again in two days, and I want you to come. I never really trusted a witch before you, but she has helped us over the annums.”
“She’s the one who killed your friend,” I recalled. It was no wonder he hated witches.
“Technically, her brother killed him.” Wolf paused to scrub a hand over his face. Without thinking too much about it, I curled into his side and wrapped my arms around him while he told me about his annums with Leo, how the lion shifter had lost himself to the Mist, and how Wolf had watched, unable to help, when Leo attacked the witch and was killed. “I buried him at the forest’s edge. I went back often at first. Not long after, a giant leafy structure appeared on the Yellow Plain where there”d been nothing before. It was hard to make out through the haze, but I waited and watched, and eventually the girl I”d seen that day emerged from it.”
“That was Amber?”
He nodded. “She walked over to the forest where I stood. I couldn”t understand why she seemed unafraid—I was strongly considering ripping her throat out at the time—but I figured it out a heartbeat later when I tried to lunge for her and found all four legs firmly rooted to the ground by vines.”
“Her magic...it”s plants?”
“Clever girl.” He paused to kiss my temple. “Yes, she can grow anything, anywhere. She explained it to me, said a lion had attacked her, but she”d seen him change into a man when her brother, Jacks, killed him. She apologized, but I know he was only protecting her. I get that. Anyway, she’d figured out the Mist was a curse and she wanted to help. I”d just lost my only friend, but I knew I wasn”t alone in the forest. We’d seen others. When Amber said she”d make a place for us to gather free of the Mist, it seemed too good to be true.”
“The enclave,” I guessed. “She”s the one who made it for you.”
He nodded again. “It”s the only reason I didn”t lose myself the same as Leo, because I could be somewhere as myself, where I could deal with my grief as a man instead of letting the emotions rule me as a beast. Slowly, I met others and brought them in for sanctuary. Over the annums, Amber kept coming back. She brings necessities we can’t get; items of comfort, food staples, stuff like that.”
Wolf’s face fell. “It’s never enough. There are beasts in these woods too far gone for us to save, who will never be human again, but we save the ones we can.”
At the pain in his face, all I could think was that could have been him. Wolf could have lost his mind and himself just like his friend had, and like so many others must have done over the annums while the Mist plagued us. I could have lost Wolf before I ever met him, and it would have been all Ruby”s fault. My grandmother was the true monster in this story.
“Do you think Amber can help?”
Wolf squeezed me. “I hope so. If nothing else, she”s a witch like you. She can probably answer some of your questions, maybe help you learn more about your magic.”
How did he do that? It was like he knew that all this turmoil about my family”s selfish ways had left me with more questions than answers. There was so much no one had bothered to tell me, because no one cared. But here was this man who’d met me as his enemy, and was now the one to give me everything I needed. He was the one who’d seen my worth, no matter what was inside of me, and who made me want to become the best of myself.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “For…for all of it.”
His only response was to drop a kiss on the crown of my head and hold me close against him. It was everything.