Chapter Eleven #2
But just as he thought that, the email client on his laptop dinged and an email from Dr. Leigh showed up with a time and invitation to a video chat.
“Looks like Dr. Leigh will see us at ten. Can your PI be there in time?”
“She’s already on her way. You sure Jessica is up to this?”
Up to it? He didn’t have a clue what she was up to. She was being so…strong. So sure. But he kept worrying that it was only because she didn’t remember the full picture. She didn’t fully understand what kind of danger they were in.
But he did, which meant they had to act. “No, but she’s determined. I don’t see her backing down.”
“I’m no doctor, but I can’t help but think having some say, some agency in this whole thing is good for her. No one wants to be a powerless victim hiding away.”
Ellis scowled, because that’s what he’d like to be right now. Or at least like her to be, but he couldn’t deny that Zach was probably at least partially right.
“I’ll be in touch. You sure the laptop will record?”
“I’ll make sure of it. Good luck, Ellis.”
“Thanks,” Ellis muttered, then ended the phone call. He sat there for a few minutes, mulling over how he wanted this to go.
Kirsten’s idea that she pretend to remember them was a good one. It allowed him to be involved and observe Dr. Leigh. It’d give him a new perspective into how she dealt with Kirsten when he wasn’t there, and if Dr. Leigh was someone to be concerned about.
Maybe he’d been technically out for the past two years, but he was still a damn good FBI agent. He could sniff out a rat and keep Kirsten safe in the process.
Even though you didn’t last time?
Different. He hadn’t been there. He’d been undercover. Maybe he hadn’t been able to sniff out where the leak came from, but he certainly would have kept Kirsten from being hurt if he’d been home.
He had to hold on to that certainty or everything fell apart, and he couldn’t afford to let her get caught in the cross fire twice.
He’d die first.
He got to his feet. He’d heard her get up a little while ago, and when he stepped out into the main living area, she was in the kitchen, putting together breakfast.
She didn’t look at him over her shoulder or address him, but he could tell she knew he’d stepped into the room because her shoulders got a fraction tenser.
“Dr. Leigh is expecting us to video conference with her at ten.”
“So soon? That’s good.” She gave a firm little nod like she was assuring herself. She put two plates on the table. “Sit.”
“You don’t have to cook for me.”
She walked over to the table with a skillet in hand. She met his gaze. There were dark circles under her eyes like she hadn’t slept any better than he had. But there was a determination in them.
“I do what I please, thank you.”
He almost laughed. It wasn’t the first time she’d said that to him. Did she know that? Remember it? Based on the way she finished plating the food, he didn’t think so.
It was some hash browns and sausages he imagined had come out of the freezer. He hadn’t really been hungry, but he sat down to eat because it would make her eat as well, he hoped. She needed it.
“It snowed quite a bit last night,” she said, when the silence had stretched out for most of the meal.
Ellis didn’t even look at the window. He was calculating the odds of someone getting up here in the snow though—not great. But also not great odds that the two of them could get down if they needed to.
“Zach has a PI watching Dr. Leigh, and some eyes on the road leading up here. We should have a heads-up if anything funny goes down after our meeting with her.”
“How would she…” She shook her head. “I guess the point is we don’t know how any of this happened.”
“Zach is also trying to find a connection between Dr. Leigh and any of the people involved with the Caruso family, but we have to be careful not to involve too many people.”
Especially when it felt like there were already too many extraneous people. He understood Zach’s view. Hoped Zach’s faith in the people he was working with was earned. But the almost-worst had already happened to him, so trust was hard to have faith in.
They ate in silence for the rest of the time. Then Ellis cleaned up while Kirsten disappeared into the bathroom. He was setting up the computer for the video conference when she returned.
She was dressed in the clothes she’d switched with Deputy Morris—the red turtleneck and jeans that were a little short, but definitely more put together than the sweats she’d had on last night.
Her hair was a little damp, but he’d heard the hair dryer going, so he figured she’d spent some time doing it.
She didn’t have any makeup on to cover the circles under her eyes, but her lips were a deep berry color—she must have had some lipstick in the purse she carried.
He gestured at the couch. “We’ll set up here on the couch. Just our shoulders and above in the frame. If you’re uncomfortable, or you want to end the session, you just reach over and give my hand a squeeze. I’ll make our excuses.”
Kirsten studied the couch, the laptop balanced on a stack of books. She didn’t look nervous, exactly, but she certainly didn’t look eager.
“I’m going to stay as close to the truth as I can,” she said. “Because there are things I do remember.” She said this almost…antagonistically, like she wanted to pick a fight with him.
He refused to rise to the bait.
“That’s good. I’ll just be observing her reactions. Noting her questions to see if they’re off. I might take over the conversation if there’s a path I want her to go down, but at least to start I’m going to let you take the lead. She’s your doctor after all.”
Kirsten nodded and said nothing else. Then they both stood there, awkward and silent for too long. It was just about ten o’clock. Time to get this show on the road.
So he sat down, waited for her to take the seat next to him. There was some space between them. If they were going with the story that Jessica remembered her life as Kirsten, then they should probably be closer.
But Ellis couldn’t bring himself to bridge the gap. He tapped the link on the screen and waited until Dr. Leigh let them into the video conferencing room.
Kirsten was the one who scooted closer, so they were hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder, right before Dr. Leigh appeared on the screen.
She was a nondescript middle-aged woman with a thin face and unbrushed hair. She had glasses with thick green frames, but shrewd dark eyes that narrowed immediately.
“This isn’t Jessica’s apartment.”
“No. I didn’t want to do this there,” Kirsten said before Ellis could offer the explanation he’d come up with. “I can’t explain it, but it feels very…confusing. To be somewhere where I was only Jessica, while remembering parts of Kirsten.”
It was a hell of an excuse. Better than his, really.
“And, to be clear, what exactly are you remembering?”
Kirsten looked over at him, offered him a tremulous smile that was mostly acting, he figured.
“Ellis, mostly. That we were married. Things about being married to him. I still don’t know what happened to me, and Ellis has been hesitant to fill me in.
He said you recommended letting me remember difficult things on my own. ”
Dr. Leigh pursed her lips together. “Yes, I felt that was best. Remembering a traumatic event might lead to…distress. I’d much rather you be in a safe, controlled environment with people you trust. Where exactly are you?”
Ellis didn’t like the direction of that question and was all set to stop Kirsten from answering it, but she nodded along, then leaned forward as if to get closer to Dr. Leigh.
Her voice was fierce and determined. “But remembering that we’re married, our past together, it means I do trust Ellis,” she said, ignoring the part about where they were.
Ellis studied the doctor as she took in this information, as she took her damn time deciding what to say about it.
“Can you lead me through remembering?” Not pressing about where they were. Ellis wondered if she didn’t quite believe Kirsten’s memory coming back, which worried him since it hadn’t.
No matter what little pieces she thought she remembered.
Kirsten nodded, then began to tell a story—part fact, part fiction. And she was good at it. Playing the role of a woman remembering her marriage. Mixing her truth with little lies. She was damn convincing. Hell, he was almost convinced.
He supposed she’d had to be convincing the past two years just to…exist as someone who felt nothing but a blank in their past. She’d been trying to move through a world that might know she wasn’t who she was pretending to be, but she still had to…exist in it.
He couldn’t imagine how complex, stressful, and just plain hard that had been…probably because he’d been so focused on his own hardships. On all the ways he blamed himself for what had happened.
“Ellis, how are you feeling?”
It startled him a bit, that the doctor would bring him in, concern herself with him. Was it an honest question? Or one probing to see if she could feed information to the Carusos or whoever was after them?
“I know you’ve cautioned me not to push too hard, not to fill in her blanks for her.” He figured he’d take some cues from Kirsten’s use of the truth and offer some of his own. “I’m trying very hard not to, but Kirsten thinks it helps her remember if I fill her in.”
“He’s very resistant,” Kirsten put in. “I thought maybe talking to you together, you could assure him that if it helps me remember, that it can only be a good thing.”
“Remembering doesn’t have to be a good thing, Jessica,” Dr. Leigh said. “You’ve been—”
“I want you to call me Kirsten.” It was a snap, much like she’d snapped at Ellis when they’d first gotten here. She sucked in a breath, let it out slowly, then spoke more calmly. “I want everyone to call me Kirsten. That’s who I am, even if I don’t remember all of it.”