32. Stevie
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
STEVIE
This will get easier, I think to myself.
I feel like Sebastian and I are on a killing spree. I guess that’s only partly true since I’m not the one who’s actually taking lives, but hell, if I’m not helping to orchestrate the process.
Has my brain become numb to it already?
With Larry and Pete, my body trembled, my stomach uneasy, but now, as Sebastian and I ride back up the elevator from the parking garage at Thompson Manor as if nothing happened, I’d be remiss that my visceral reaction to Wendy’s death is less intense.
My head is trained on the hardwood flooring at my feet. I step out of the elevator and take an immediate left.
“Stevie?”
“Yes?”
“Where are you going?”
I glance around to realize I’m headed toward the East Wing and not to Sebastian’s portion of the house.
My phone buzzes in my bag. It’s my dad. Bringing the phone up to my ear, I hold a finger up, gesturing for Sebastian to give me a minute.
“Hi, Dad,” I answer.
Sebastian steps away to give me privacy. I haven’t spoken to my dad much lately. He’s been busy sorting things out for his transition into retirement.
“Hi, Stevie. Have you spoken to your sister lately?”
“Not this weekend, but I’m sure she’s fine.”
“I know she’s away, but it’s just she hasn’t called me for a while, and that’s unlike her.” There’s a sadness in his voice.
He’s not satisfied, so I do what I always do and act as the facilitator between them. Not a typical role for the youngest sibling, but that’s how it works within our family dynamic.
“She’s okay, Dad. I promise.” I casually make my way over to the living area where a fire is lit inside an enormous stone fireplace. This is Sebastian’s house, but sometimes I forget that hired help comes and goes as they wish. One of them most likely started it while we were away?
“Yeah, you’re right. She’s a big girl, but you know how I always worry.” My dad is having a difficult time not being Lux’s number one anymore now that River is in the picture.
“She’s off with her billionaire boyfriend having a blast. You know how she needed some time away to write with her deadline approaching so quickly,” I say, glancing at Sebastian.
He’s followed me into the space and is leaning against the bookshelf in the corner of the room.
“She’ll probably check in with you in the next couple of days. ”
“Okay. You’re right.”
An awakened silence takes up the space through the phone. I wait for him to ask about me. But he doesn’t, assuming I’d tell him if anything was wrong.
“So, how’s the transition going?” I ask.
“Going well,” he replies. “I’ll be helping with their cold case division, so that should keep my mind occupied in retirement.”
My dad cannot stay idle for long. I’m glad he has decided to use his skills in a different capacity.
“That’s great, Dad.” I smile. “So, the mortuary—”
“Oh, sorry, Stevie, but the department is calling on the other line. Let’s talk when Lux comes back into town for our monthly dinner,” my dad rushes out.
Swallowing my disappointment, I shove it aside like I always have. “Of course. We’ll talk soon.”
“Love you.” Then he ends the call.
I slide my phone back into my bag, but keep my face turned away from Sebastian. The warmth of the fire heats my skin, but the shame of being dismissed keeps my focus away from him.
“Did he want to check on you?” Sebastian’s steady hands rest on my shoulders, and the closeness is comforting.
“Uh.” I lean into his chest. “He was calling to check in on my sister, actually.”
“Is she not talking to him?”
I sigh. “It’s been a few days since he spoke with her, so he was calling me to check in.”
“We spent the weekend together, and it didn’t seem like you spoke with him either. Maybe he was worried about you, too,” Sebastian offers in earnest.
If that were only the case…my dad rarely asks about me or my life. He’s hyper-focused on his world, and Lux fits into that with him.
“Nah.” I shake my head. The backs of my eyelids sting with tears, leaving me surprised by my sudden eruption of emotion. “We don’t have much in common, and he knows if there was anything to tell him, I would. So, he doesn’t ask.”
Sebastian calmly twists me around, bringing my front to his, then he dips his head to capture my eyes. “I think you and your dad have a lot in common, Stevie.”
I chuckle, scoffing him off. “Like what?”
“Your need for justice.”
“Yeah? Lux has that, too.”
He’s silent for a beat, his forehead knits. “I know something that will make you feel better.”
I wipe a tear from my cheekbone. “You do?” The kindling on the fire crackles behind us.
“Yeah.” His eyes brighten. “Follow me.”
Then he turns, clasping my hand in his, and leads us through the hallway next to the kitchen.
We approach a pair of large French doors leading outside at the back of the manor.
The rain has slowed down, but as soon as Sebastian opens the doors, the moist, cool air floats across my face. It’s refreshing.
I take a deep breath, enjoying being buried in the mountains, away from the city.
“Where are we going?” I step onto a pebbled pathway.
Sebastian leads me under arched trellises where vines cover every inch. “I’ll show you.”
My eyes bounce around the expansive property covered with tall trees and a few stone statues placed between overgrown bushes. It’s a little eerie, but oddly romantic. The yellow lights from the manor behind us and the full moon are the only light we have to navigate.
I could easily get lost out here by myself.
A deep, throaty croak from a raven echoes amongst the trees. “If this is going to be another chase me through the woods and fuck me thing, I’m not feeling it right now.”
Sebastian steps aside, revealing two wrought-iron gates attached to a low stone wall that covers the perimeter of an enclosed area. A raven sits perched on the curved top of the gate.
“What is this place?” I whisper, letting my eyes scan the area. Then, between the shadows, I spot not one, not two, but multiple white headstones.
“A cemetery?” I ask, stunned.
“Yeah.” Sebastian pushes open one gate. The creaking startles the raven, and it flies off into the night. “The old graveyard was on the property when River and I purchased it. We didn’t have the heart to tear it down, so we let the dead remain peacefully in their places.”
My heart swells. I can’t stand still any longer—I leap into the graveyard, heading to the gravestone nearest the entrance. “1855 to 1899,” I mutter, running my fingertips along the engravings. “These graves are so old.”
“Most of the headstones date back to the mid- to late-1800s,” Sebastian tells me excitedly.
I squat to get a better look. “Sebastian, this is incredible.”
He lowers next to me. “I thought it would make you feel better after the conversation with your dad. I’m sorry you feel that you’re not as important as your sister, because you are.”
Thompson Manor has its own cemetery—and not just any cemetery, one that is home to souls from the nineteenth century. My eyes glide over each inch of the limestone grave marker.
I am speechless.
“You can do your rubbing here,” he says.
“There are over a hundred headstones, so it should keep you busy for a while. I also had our shopper go out and purchase your supplies for you. I didn’t know what brands you preferred, so I told her to buy it all.
” He runs a hand through his dark hair. “Everything should be here by tomorrow afternoon.”
Falling back into the wet leaves and sticks on the ground, I cross my legs under each other. “Sebastian, no one has ever understood my hobby like this before.”
“It is super weird,” he plays, but then his voice becomes deeper.
“But you enjoy it. And if it’s important to you, then it’s important to me.
You should be free to do as you wish while staying safe.
” The back of his knuckles smooths over my cheek.
“The property is the safest place on earth for you, Stevie. And it’s as much yours as it is mine. ”
The dark night.
The raven croaking in the background.
The beautiful full moon high above us.
The old cemetery.
I have never experienced meeting another person who sees me for me. And it’s not like Sebastian is trying, he really understands me.
The conversation I had with my dad, my childhood, my inadequacies, and my sense of loneliness all come rushing in. They hit me like a freight train running off the track, and I’m overcome with emotion.
Tears spring from my eyes, and suddenly, I am safe to feel everything.
“My mom died when I was young,” I blurt out.
Sebastian’s arms come around my back, and he scoops me up, pulling me into his lap.
I sink into him, breathing a heavy sigh.
The chilled wind stings my bare skin, but it’s no bother because it feels good.
“I’ve never been close with my dad, not like my sister.
I’ve always felt different, or that my interests weren’t good enough because they weren’t the same as his. ”
I wipe my face, then tuck my head into his chest. The scents of leather and smoke surround me.
“My dad’s a good father. But he and Lux always bond over crime and his cases.
It was lonely growing up, and my fascination with the dead stemmed from something much different from theirs.
While Lux and Dad had each other, I had no one. Does that make sense?”
Sebastian releases a heavy breath. “It does. A part of me thinks each person I kill, each monster I wipe from this earth, will bring me closer to my parents.”
I tilt my head to look at the sharp features of his face. His eyes were fixed on the dark forest around us.
“But it never will.”
“I wish I’d gotten to know my mother, too. Then maybe I wouldn’t have to spend my life feeling like I’m not good enough for my dad.” The way my words hit the air surprises me. To acknowledge it out loud is something entirely different from hearing it within the quiet walls of my skull.