Chapter 7
SEVEN
Danika
My apartment door is hard against my back as I seek solace from it. With my breathing still heavy, my mind races. I’m sure I saw him. Did he follow me?
After seeing Hush at the clubhouse, it was like every memory came swooshing back with full force. But it wasn’t all bad. The kindness he’d shown me also creates a sense of comfort.
For the first time in a long time, I’m able to breathe under strangled breaths. Not sure if that makes any sense, but it does to me. I’m trapped inside myself, but someone is holding my hand. And that someone is him. It was Hush.
While Tequila allows me that stability of a true friendship, he is my aftermath. The good guiding me forward. The way it sounds is ridiculous considering I don’t know the man, but it’s enough.
The next morning, I stretch the tight material of my yoga outfit over my body, debating on whether to change.
Given how the attire outlines every part of my petite curves, it’s not something I am entirely comfortable with anymore.
With only a sports bra on, a few inches of my torso is visible even with the high waisted tights.
The clothes feel wrong now, making me vulnerable instead of confident like they once had.
Tequlia drove us to the gym and as we enter, my eyes widen at how nice it is, smelling surprisingly sterile and clean with a hint of lemon in the air.
There’s a small group of women stretching, talking, and it makes me a tad nervous to be around them.
“Come on. I want you to meet Angel.” Tequila pulls me along, stopping in front of a tall, gorgeous blonde.
Her infectious smile widens as she sends me a friendly wave.
Her big blue eyes and hair make her look like a life size Barbie doll.
“Hey! I’m happy you made it. You can set your bag down over there and the locker room is in the back if you need it.
” Her confidence reminds me of what I used to have, and a dull ache fills my chest.
Having slipped on a hoodie and sweats over my outfit, I take off only my sweatpants. I’m in a room full of woman, not sure why I feel the need to leave on the hoodie, but I do. If I get hot later, I’ll take it off, no big deal.
“Cute pants. You definitely have a great butt.” Angel’s compliment catches me off guard.
My cheeks warm because there’d had been a time I like to hear such things.
“Sorry. I can be pretty forward sometimes. My mouth tends to move before my brain.”
I go to tell her it’s okay, but she claps her hands together racing to the front of the room.
Tequila shuffles beside me as everyone gathers in a horizontal line. “Something about Angel you’ll get to understand is that she’s very open with her thoughts.”
“She compliments me, but any woman would kill to look like her,” I bluntly say aloud.
“Oh yeah, she knows that. She’d also say beauty is within but she’s just being modest about that too,” Tequila jests and we both laugh.
Angel turns on her speaker shuffling to a playlist and a song starts. “Okay! Let’s begin and remember… Just. Have. Fun. Nothing crazy.” She starts with basic punches and dips, instructing us to follow. With each beat of the song we throw a punch, tightening our cores as we do so.
It’s been a while since I’ve worked out, and I can already feel the way my body is being put to the test. But it’s a good thing.
In a way, every muscle is thanking me for pushing them again.
The yoga studio was different than this.
I taught myself and others how to work on balance, breathing, and meditation.
But being here at their gym reminds me of all those things I’ve missed so much.
When the song stops, we stand catching our breaths.
“Water break, but you only have three minutes!” Angel shouts and we all scurry to gather our water bottles.
“This is gonna hurt tomorrow, isn’t it?” I ask Tequila as I work out the already stiff kinks in my shoulders.
She closes the lid to her tumbler and lets out a snort. “I couldn’t walk right for days after my first class. You’ll get used to it.”
I’m already sweating and with each song that ends, my mind starts to give in and let go.
Angel moves on, adding a kick movement to incorporate alongside the punches.
With each powerful rhythm, my abdominal muscles scream in pain, but I keep continuing to push myself.
My quads also scream out in agony alongside my core.
Halfway through the song, I shed my hoodie. All of us focusing on the tight moves, in rhythm to the beats.
By the time class is over, sweat trickles down my back, but it’s powerful. Strong. And the addiction is already setting in. My muscles ache for the first time in so long that I want more. I crave more of the strength.
Angel saunters over to us, her skin glowing radiantly. “Hey, your form is pretty good, newbie. It looks like you’ve done this before.” Each bead of sweat disappears as she dabs the towel on her forehead, I do the same taking in quick short breaths.
“Thanks. I used to teach yoga.” Telling her so, solidifies how much I miss that part of me.
Tequila throws in a commendable expression. “Really? That’s awesome. I’ve always wanted to learn yoga. My posture kind of sucks,” she says next to me, but I honestly don’t notice. Not even in the slightest.
Angel throws her towel over her shoulder, hiding her side braid. “If you ever want to teach here. Let me know. I think it’d be a great addition to the gym if we held yoga classes.”
My body stills at her suggestion. But there’s also a flicker of something inside me that threatens to release. I’m not entirely sure of what it is but it’s something.
“Like I said, let me know.” Angel winks then struts away high-fiving one of the others and Tequila’s expression softens as she hands me a protein bar.
“Cookies and cream.”
My attention darts to my newly rekindled brunette friend chewing her snack like it’s the best thing on earth. “What?”
“The protein bar.” Tequila swallows, holding one out for me to take. “It’s cookies and cream.”
“Oh. Thanks.” I take a bite and… yeah, that’s good.
“I have time before my class starts. Want to head to The Fallen Star for a quick lunch? It’s Jules’s bar. And she has the best Mediterranean bowls.”
“At a bar?” I chuckle.
“It’s not the type of bar you’re probably picturing. The guys say they only serve chick food there.” She rolls her eyes, and I smile.
Tequila rambles on more about The Fallen Star and I listen intently.
I like being able to take in her personality.
But as she continues, all I can do is watch in admiration because she speaks with such joy and happiness as if it was always so easy and normal.
Even after what happened to us. I wonder if that’ll be me some day.
If I can be the one who wakes up tucking it all away and smiling a genuine smile.