Chapter 9
NINE
Hush
Danika. Her name grips onto me like a vice.
She’s been around lately, mostly at the gym.
But it’s putting me on edge, and I’ve been keeping my distance like a coward.
Avoiding her the best I can. There’s a reason for it, I’m just not sure what that reason is yet.
Which doesn’t make any sense because other times I follow her like a stalker.
Her body, her presence knocks into me like a force I can’t explain.
And that alone drives me madder than I already am.
Without explanation I am in constant agony and I’m already suffering.
The voice inside my head is poison, allowing the misery to take over my thoughts.
It’s crippling. Deafening. And I’m afraid one day, I won’t be able to control it any longer.
Piece by piece it chisels off a part of me—of who I was and sometimes I wish for the end, but I know there’d be only one way, and the parts of me left won’t give that voice the satisfaction.
She’s been pushing herself hard. There’re times I’m leaving the shop, and I catch her driving herself to the point of exhaustion.
She’s trying to prove something to herself.
That drive is good, yet the outcome may eat her alive.
It’s the same way I am with the club. Always running up the hill but falling just as I reach the top.
Right now, it’s one of those times, as I pass by noticing her inside the gym. She’s alone, but her fast movements, her push, tells me she doesn’t want to lose that battle within herself.
Her punches are swift, firm, and her kicks are powering with a purpose. Her hair that I’ve seen many times now flowing down around her back is tied up high. Even from out here I can see the perspiration that lines her bare skin glistening the paleness underneath.
My eyes are drawn to the marking on her back as she spins, giving me more of a view of the permanent etching. They call them scars for a reason. They never leave. A constant sick reminder and my blood turns hot at the sight of it.
She pauses, resting her hands on her knees as she catches her breath. Danika intrigues me. Her will and struggle have a hold on me I can’t seem to understand. But if she keeps it up, she’ll burn out.
After her drink of water, she pulls her sweatshirt back over her head and snags her bag.
I turn on my heel, heading for the clubhouse before she sees me. The place I was headed before I got distracted. There’s a job I need to finish by spring, so I’ve been spending more time at the shop over the last week or so.
I help myself with a quick drink of water at the bar, collecting my mind before heading home and making sure my brothers don’t need anything.
Tonight, I’m heading to the cabin.
The voices are quiet today. So, there’s that at least.
My body stills as Danika approaches. Another unexplained feeling. I don’t need to turn to know it’s her. There’s been a draw—a force tugging at me whenever she is close. It dulls some of the whispers, other times it makes it louder.
Out of the corner of my eye I catch her scanning the area, looking for someone. Probably Tequila is my guess. Those two have really gotten close and it’s good for them.
Her tight clothes cling to her like a second skin, and I dart my eyes back to the uninteresting glass in front of me.
“Hi.”
With my glass halfway to my mouth, I pause. The soft whisper of her voice wraps around my senses, suffocating me.
I cast a timid glance at her, but her gaze locks on my hand, I have now placed on the counter. It’s a mix of unease and surprise that shines in her eyes, her gaze holding firmly as she stares at my butterfly tattoo.
A wave of uncomfortableness hits me, and I snap my hand away.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to stare it’s just…” Her words come to a sudden halt. “I was just looking for Tequila.” There’s more to what she was going to say, but she doesn’t elaborate as she steps away toward the door.
The air returns to my lungs but she makes it about five feet before spinning back, closing the distance between us. “Were you following me the other night?”
Fuck.
What the hell can I say in response to that? She definitely saw me because no one goes around asking that unless they’re sure.
A cold sweat forms on my back. I don’t like confrontation. In fact, I’d rather we not talk at all.
“No. You must have been mistaken.” I make the error of turning my focus, meeting her eyes and a soft blush color accents her cheeks.
She nods slightly then stalks away.
But with her hand resting on the frame, she hesitates again. Our eyes lock, holding each other before she slips out the door and into the frosty winter. My eyes flutter closed, guilt weighing in on me. Why does it always come back crashing on me like a tidal wave?
Stop.
My hand is rough over my skin as I run it down over my face and finish the cold water that pours down my throat.
Tank is a hard one to miss. He slides up next to me, leaning on the counter glancing from the door back to me. “Chain gave me a place to checkout. But figured you’d be a better man for the job.”
I know what that entails. There’s a reason they ask me. I’m their enforcer, which means every time the job is a bit nasty, I have to flip that switch. I’m no longer Liem but the crazy bastard they need me to be. Though, Liem is hardly here anymore as it is.
“What is it?”
“Grizzy’s dead.”
Not much of a loss if you ask me. But every life counted.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Shot in cold blood.”
Usually, in this type of situation, we call it karma at its best. However, there’s a piece of the puzzle missing.
“By whom?”
Tank shoots another glance at the door then back to me. There’s slight movement in his facial muscles. “Appears to be a drug deal gone wrong.”
Shocker.
“The cartel?”
“We don’t know. Could just be random sellers that Grizzly pissed off. But what we do know is… it happened right outside the diner. The one Tequila’s new friend works at.”
Something sinks inside my chest, and I snap my attention to the window, looking for her. When I glance back to Tank, he’s watching me with careful curiosity.
“Danika.” Her name rolls of my tongue.
“You’ve had more interaction with her than any of us, so thought you’d like to know.” If by saving her from being trafficked was interacting then yeah, I suppose.
I nod, lifting myself up off the seat. “I’m on it.”
They’d be stupid to go back there but I’ll hang around for a few days to make sure nothing else goes down where she can get harmed in the process. Besides, I plan on being there anyhow.
Danika
What the hell?
Police cars. News reporters. Curious civilians taking pictures of something, but I can’t tell of what with how many people are crowded around.
With a small gust of frigid wind, the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up.
After scanning the area around me, especially the dark part of the beginning of the alleyway, I go to move forward and catch sight of the yellow caution tape.
Air is stolen from my lungs as I see a drawn outline of a body on the sidewalk.
Holy shit.
It’s a crime scene.
Someone bumps into me from behind causing me to almost lose my balance.
“Sorry,” they say, jogging past to get a better look.
People can be so gross at times like these.
Lydia comes barreling out of the diner. “Hey! Fuck. I tried calling you, but it kept going straight to voicemail.” Her words are heard but I can’t seem to pry my eyes away from the body outline. “Danika?”
With me tightening a grip on my jacket, I finally turn to Lydia. “Sorry. Yeah, my phone died.” Which is stupid to not have my phone always charged. Another compulsion I’ll obsess over later.
She glances at the crowd of people and the news reporter who appears to be live, talking about what happened, but too far for me to hear. Police are urging people to move back and when someone brushes against my arm, I gasp.
Lydia pays me a careful mind. “Let’s get inside.”
We enter the deserted diner. For this time of night, it is odd we don’t have any customers. Guess it takes a crime scene for a break in the business.
“Crazy shit, right? Of course, our dickhead boss refuses to close for the day. Someone gets shot right the fuck in front of the place and all he cares about is us showing up on time.”
“I hate this part of town.” Thomas shakes his head as he walks up front.
“If I didn’t desperately need the money, my ass would be gone.” Lydia sits down on the bench in front of our lockers. My mind hasn’t been able to focus on anything except what’s going on out there and it’s bringing me into a dark place.
“Same,” I quietly say as we both grab our aprons and head up front. But I can’t help but shoot frequent glances to where the commotion is still happening.
“And it doesn’t look like we’re going to be getting any customers tonight. Eric didn’t even show up. He doesn’t want to be anywhere near this place, but he makes sure we have to be here. What a prick.”
“Sounds like him,” I mutter under my breath.
He’s such a bastard.
After tying our aprons, we wait. And when an hour goes by without a soul in sight, we wait some more.
“I wonder what happened.” My body is stretched out, leaning my elbows against the counter behind me, Lydia slightly twirling in her stool.
“More dumb shit. Probably drugs,” Thomas says from behind me, studying the view of the outside with us.
We had a couple of customers come in, mostly to be nosey. They requested a window booth.
“Well thank God we close soon because this whole thing gives me the creeps. Are we like in danger?” Lydia turns to me as if I hold the answer to her question.
“If it was drugs or something like that, then no.” But what if it was more? What if… the room starts to slowly rotate, and I close my eyes for it to stop.
This stupid anxiety.
“To be sure, let’s leave together, yeah?” Thomas says. His voice is low and laced with a drip of concern for all of us.
The three of us always did work well together and we were the closest. One time I thought Lydia and Thomas had something going on, but Lydia quickly debunked it. But her red colored skin marring her ears and cheeks tells me otherwise.
“That’s the best suggestion you’ve had in a while.” Lydia pats Thomas’s arm, catching her gaze with his.
“Good thing I live across the street.” The sarcasm drips off my tongue. Good I don’t have far to go, but bad I live right across from a murder. They’ll be no way to escape this for a while.
“Shit. You wanna stay with me tonight?” Lydia asks, her eyes staring at me with pinched edges.
“Thanks. But I’ll be okay. My roommate should be home,” I lie, knowing damn well she won’t be.
We finish our shifts and clean up, locking the door behind us. It’s nice to be able to get out on time and somewhat early.
Thomas and Lydia say their goodbyes as they make sure I make it safely on the other side.
The hustle and bustle are already over for the night, and people must have gotten bored.
But before I enter my building, I stop, whipping myself around scanning the streets.
With only the sound of the slight wind, I enter my apartment building, leaving the outside behind.
My apartment window points directly at the diner.
So, I gather my mail and curl up in front of it.
It’s not that I think the sight was scenic or anything, rather the obsession of looking out for something that isn’t there drills into my mind.
The need to make sure I can get away from anything in time, chips away at me.
The pretty light blue envelope with fancy calligraphy writing catches my attention as I open it, my heart warming at what appears to be a wedding invitation.
To Jules’s and Charger’s wedding.
They thought of me as a good enough friend to be invited to their wedding. To her wedding. The envelope and invite lay on my lap as I process it all. Then without warning, a smile spreads across my face. But just as fast as it came, I frown with the same speed.
A shadowy figure moves down below in front of my building as if they are watching me.
Okay, that’s enough fun for one night.
I tug the curtains that blanket my window and set my invite down on the counter before entering my bedroom. Another smile tempting to pull at my lips.