Chapter 24 Rae
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
RAE
Clutching me to his chest, Phaethon marches us back into the palace, down passages and through halls, and I swear, he glares at any guard who approaches us and they back away, paling.
Laughter grips me and I shake in his hold.
“Are you all right?” he asks, and I look up at his frowning, handsome face, my arms looping around his neck.
“That’s a very Jai-like thing to ask,” I mutter. “Are you—?”
“Still Phaethon. I hate to disappoint.”
“That’s a lie. You don’t hate it, do you?”
But he doesn’t crack a smile. “I know you are fond of Jai.”
“How did you figure that out?”
“Because you…” He’s still frowning down at me, but his brows jump. “You’re teasing.”
“Mm…”
“He’s not bad for a human.”
“High praise, I’m sure.” I cock my head at him, relishing the corded lines of his neck under my hands, the shifting chest muscles against my body. “Have you ever thought of discussing things with Jai … instead of fighting with him?”
“What a novel idea,” he grouses. “Who would have ever thought of that?”
“Stop it. Now you are the one teasing. I had no idea Eosphors teased.”
“I may have changed somewhat over the centuries. Inhabiting human bodies and minds is detrimental to my proud Eosphoric heritage.”
“I think it’s a good change. It suits you.” I hide a smile against his shoulder, when I should be freaking out for getting so close to an Eosphor. The original Eosphor, to boot. “So… talking. It didn’t work out, I take it?”
“You know the answer. We want different things. Our disagreement is profound. He doesn’t see…”
“He doesn’t see what?”
“That there is no other way. I have to open the gate, and so does the fae king. What chance does Jai think he has of getting his own way?”
I feel my mouth tightening, my mirth drying up. “That’s no reason for someone to give up. Not when his mission is greater than himself.”
“Jai’s mission.” His deep voice rumbles against me, vibrating in my bones. “You mean his fear that the fae will destroy his home world.”
“Isn’t that fear valid?”
We’re walking through the palace, his arms under my knees and back, and I realize the fae nobles are staring but keeping quiet.
It makes me wonder if that always happens around Athdara, whether he is Jai or Phaethon.
I wonder if they remember his shadows clashing with the king’s power at dinner, dashing the flames of the candelabra and shoving back the chairs.
“Like I told you earlier,” Phaethon says, “I don’t know Jai as well as I should. I know certain aspects of him. In battle… our minds meld more easily. For a mere mortal, he has the courage to rival any Eosphor of my army.”
“How did you enter him?”
“I have no memory of it.”
I stare at him. “You really don’t? So even you don’t know who he really is?”
“An orphaned mortal? I was forced into the body of Marsyas—”
“The dragonking. I know the story.”
“And after that, there is a long blank. I found myself in this body, in this palace when I awakened fully. Thankfully, the king’s motivation matches mine.”
“A big stroke of luck.” I inject as much sarcasm as I can into my voice.
“You think me devoid of emotions and compassion,” he observes.
“No offense, this is what everyone says. An alien, emotionless being.”
“Again they forget I’ve inhabited a human body for a long time. First, there was Phaethon.”
“Whom you made physically sick and then drove insane,” I say.
“He wasn’t strong enough. His body and mind warped. But then came Marsyas and he was the perfect vessel. I lived with him, in him, for ages. Absorbed his sorrows and worries, his joys and fears. Indeed sometimes… sometimes Jai feels similar to Marsyas.”
“What a coincidence, then,” I mutter. “That you found a second perfect vessel, and a fae king who wants the same thing as you.”
“I said our motivations coincide. We both want to save our people. We both want to open a gate.”
“He wants to invade and wreak havoc.”
“In his own world?”
I scoff. “Why would that shock you?”
“He’s a king. A leader. He wants what is best for the fae.”
“Not all leaders think like that. Some only want more power. Some would gladly send their people to death to make themselves richer.”
He frowns. “I only want to rejoin my people.”
“And you don’t think that your world has changed since you left? A hundred years, Phaethon, at the very least. You don’t think that your people may have written you off for dead and chosen a new leader?”
He’s silent. I realize we have reached my room, marked by the lilac door with a symbol like a crown engraved on it in black and gold.
“Phaethon?”
He shakes his head. “A royal guest room.” He shoves the door and limps into my room. “It’s as if the king knew all along who you were.”
“Put me down.”
He lowers me until my feet hit the floor. I lost my shoes somewhere on the way—probably back at the terrace when he grabbed me, kissed me, entered me. Shattered me.
The jacket draped over me falls off. I lift it and slip my arms into the sleeves. It’s enormous on me, the breadth of the shoulders, the length of the sleeves. It makes no sense to button it up. It would be way too loose, even around my chest.
I feel warm liquid spilling between my legs, and I don’t know if it’s his release or blood. I’ve crossed a threshold I didn’t expect to cross in this palace, in this moment of trials and revelations.
Not with Phaethon, that’s for sure.
It hurts a little when I shift my weight, but the ache isn’t sharp. It’s deep and warm, like a burning flame, and I find… I’m okay. Okay that it’s done. Okay that it was him.
A lie. I’m not okay. I don’t know how I feel. I have no idea what I’m doing.
He lifts a hand to my face. An awkward caress. “You winced. Did I hurt you?”
“I still don’t understand why you’re doing this,” I whisper. “You don’t like me. You don’t care for me one way or another. You have no respect for me.”
“Not so, Little Human. A few things have changed since I first met you.”
“Such as?”
“You saved Jai’s life in the arena. And you kept fighting against the odds. My kind has respect for courage and steadfastness. I have respect for you, Leli.”
Respect. That makes sense. He’s not human. He commanded armies. Respect among comrades.
Not love. Not affection. Still, that’s a positive feeling, right?
“So we’re… friends?” I hazard. “That would be kind of weird. We slept together.”
“Fucked, you mean.”
“So crude for a celestial being. Is that something you learned from Marsyas or Jai?”
He tilts his head to the side, his expression quizzical. “Sometimes I swear you are making fun of me and sometimes… I’m not sure. To answer your question, yes, I’ve learned this word from Jai.”
“Figures.”
“Does it? He’s been no more than a monk in the time I’ve been with him. Although females, both fae and human, keep tripping over themselves to throw themselves at him, his only lover seems to be his right hand.”
There goes the heat, spreading over my face again. “I see.”
“It seemed to be satisfactory, until you showed up.”
“And has fucking me been satisfactory to you?”
To my amusement and deeper pleasure, he flushes again—a barely-there tint on his marked cheekbones. His eyes are serious. “It has.”
“Excellent,” I snark. “I aim to please.”
“Speaking of…” He grabs my wrist, hauls me against him. “I see more and more why Jai is so besotted with you.”
“Besotted? I wouldn’t say that.”
His eyes flick down where I’m still holding his jacket closed with one hand. “He can’t stop thinking about you.”
“When you are in his head.”
“Yes.”
“So probably not all the time.”
“There are more signs.”
I’m dying to know the signs but he slides a powerful hand around me, pressing it to the small of my back, splaying his fingers, and I swear a zap goes through me, rattling me.
Yanking me against him where I can feel… oh Gods, he’s hard. So hard. “We could fuck again.”
“So it seems.”
“You are also getting aroused. I can smell you.”
“Gods, what is it with you and smelling my arousal?” I push away from him. “Is something wrong with me, why do I smell—?”
“You smell delicious. But…” A muscle leaps in his jaw. “You don’t want to fuck. You are tired. You were hurt during the trial.”
“Phaethon—”
“I tend to forget how breakable human and even finnfolk bodies can be. Jai wouldn’t forget something like that.”
Speaking of Jai… How do I tell Phaethon I have this strange sensation that I’m cheating on Jai with him? This is insane. I look into his eyes and they are Jai’s eyes, his face, his body… his scent. And yet his gaze is different somehow.
“I saw the bruises and wounds when I disrobed you,” he goes on. “I wasn’t thinking. Couldn’t think clearly.”
“Welcome to humanity.”
He shoots me a weird look. “If you say so.” He takes my hand and tugs me toward the bed. “Sleep. I will stay here.”
“But you—”
“I know Jai sleeps by your side to watch over you. I will watch over you, Little Human, have no fear.”
“Should I have fear? Would anyone attack me?”
“You should always be on your guard.”
Peeling back the covers, I climb onto the bed, still in his jacket and my ruined finery. “When I wake up… will I find you or Jai beside me?”
A flash of what looks like hurt goes through his dark eyes—but it can’t be, right? I’m imagining things—and then a slow smirk tugs on his mouth. “We’ll fight over you. And may the best male win.”