Chapter 21 #2
“I will,” I promised.
As I entered the dark house with my bag and began flipping on the lights, I was met with a wave of exhaustion.
I texted Kallie and told her I needed to lie down, but that she should call me when she arrived.
Then I shed my clothing and went straight into the shower, contemplating my pseudo-husband and what Hunter and I had discussed in the car.
It wasn’t my job to fix Bram Winchester.
However, I wasn’t na?ve enough to hand him my heart on a silver platter to take a bite and spit it out again.
We’d nearly met with the ends of the bargain we’d made, anyway.
He almost had his fortune for the Mill Creek Aid charity, and I had used the insurance I’d needed.
We might never be together like I’d always dreamed of, but I couldn’t regret what had happened between us.
So much in my life was healing, and I needed to be grateful for that.
The new, pristine beds Whit had put in the house were inferior to Bram’s. Regardless, I slept like the dead until my phone woke me up.
“Hey,” I said in a groggy tone.
“Hey! Come open the door, you whore,” Kallie’s voice demanded.
I moved as fast as possible. When I opened the front door, she was standing with a smile, holding on to a small, lime green suitcase in one hand and balancing a wrapped pie in the other. I burst into tears at the sight of her.
“It’s just cherry. Don’t get too emotional,” she cooed, waltzing in the door. She was like a burst of fresh air into a stale space, even at a late hour.
I was glad she and I didn’t have much to catch up on, since we kept in touch every day. Instead, I could tell her about what had happened earlier with Bram while I dug into the pie with a fork straight from the tin.
“Are you kidding me? His daddy told him not to date you, and he listened? What a bitch move.” She picked up a pillow off the couch and pressed it to her chest. She rubbed the fabric. “Ooh, what is this made of? Cashmere?”
“Probably, since this was all Whit’s doing. But focus.” I sighed. “Yes, his dad threatened to take away his football college scholarship if he messed with me. It had to be because he was jealous of Grams’ relationship with Bram.”
“Hmm,” Kallie mused. “That family sounds like a real piece of work. And now you’ve gone and married into it. How does that feel?”
I ruefully snickered. “Not so good. The me from a month ago wouldn’t have a clue how to handle everything that’s happened in such a short amount of time.”
Kallie clicked her tongue. “See what happens when you leave the safety of your mundane life?”
“Exactly,” I replied.
“I was being facetious.” I shot her a confused look, and she continued. “Julianna Joy, love of mine, you and I both know you weren’t thriving in Charlotte. You were existing. I am your only close friend, and you’ve been sad since I’ve known you.”
“Well, tell me how you really feel,” I sarcastically scoffed. “I’ve just been…in a rut.”
“In a rut is when you can’t pick what book to read next.”
“Actually, that’s a slump.”
She threw the cashmere pillow at me. “Shut up. Listen, I am not on Bram’s side here.
I’m on Jules’s side. I want you to thrive.
You rarely leave the house. Besides your writing and pie, you weren’t excited about anything or anyone until Bram waltzed in again.
It’s been infuriating as a Bram-hater for me to hear you giggle over that turd every night on the phone, but I’ve listened and absorbed it because we’re best friends.
You’ve been happier since you’ve been here, which is saying a lot, considering your back was sliced open and sawed off with a laser. ”
“Weird way to put all that, but I see what you’re saying,” I admitted, biting my lip.
“I can’t help how he makes me feel. But now everything is upside down.
When I came here, I thought it was cut and dry.
I never thought that he wanted me. And now that he adamantly says he wanted me the whole time, and I’m confused and dubious. ”
“People do weird things, babe,” Kallie replied. “Like you calling your physician assistant to come pick you up off a mountain and drive you into town.”
“That was a necessity. I don’t know anyone else’s number. I offered him gas.”
She pursed her lips toward me before continuing, “My point is, people do weird things when feelings are involved. And I don’t want you to miss out on what could be because of the past.”
I thought of what I’d said to Bram the day we were married, when we were out for the walk: “I think it’s good enough to keep moving forward and realizing the present and future are as important as the past.”
Well, shit.
“But I’m here now, and you don’t have to be around him anytime soon if you don’t want to be.” She waved a hand in dismissal. “I hate his guts anyway.”
“Yeah, I think some time apart is good,” I confirmed with a small smile. “I wonder why he hasn’t…” I pressed the messaging app on my phone and gasped with a hand to my mouth as his name lit up. There was a string of unread texts. I hadn’t taken my phone off Do Not Disturb .
“He’s texted a million times! I’ve had the DND setting on.”
“How did you get my call then?” Kallie asked.
“I had you set up as an exception, of course. He’s on his way here!”
“Do you want to see him?”
As if on cue, an engine roared into the driveway.
“I don’t want to talk to him,” I gasped. “I’m going to hide in the hallway to hear what he has to say, but don’t let him get to me. Can you handle him?”
“Oh, I’ve been waiting for this,” Kallie said with a grin, rubbing her hands together, looking like a cross between the Grinch and Mr. Burns from The Simpsons . “Go on. I’ve got this.”
I pressed myself up against the wall where I couldn’t see the door. My heart was pounding, my palms were sweating, and I felt dizzy and hot. I hoped I didn’t pass out.
The knock on the door was explosive, and I startled. Kallie wasted no time and threw it open. I couldn’t see their expressions, but their conversation echoed throughout the house.
“I’m looking for Julianna. You must be Kallie. Nice to meet you. Is she here?”
My best friend dramatically scoffed. “You could start by introducing yourself. And like I’d tell you if she were here, Bram Winchester. ”
A few moments of complete silence between them made my racing heart skip a few beats.
“Kallie, look, I know you don’t know me, but?—”
“Oh, I know you. I know everything I need to know. From the moment I learned about your existence, I have been waiting to tell you what I think about you. What kind of coward do you have to be to leave a girl alone on a mountain road in the cold with a broken back? And then what kind of man comes to a girl’s hospital room on the day of her grandmother’s funeral and tells her he doesn’t want her, after you told her how much you cared for her?
I’ll tell you what kind of man does that?—”
“Calm down. I was a bastard. I own it. I live with the guilt every fucking day.” There was a desperation in his voice that twisted my heart. I almost stepped out from around the corner to go to him, but stopped myself. “She’s too good for me. You don’t have to convince me of that. Is she safe?”
My heart had dropped to my feet.
“She’s safe,” Kallie replied, her voice calmer. “She needs some time. It’ll be good for her, and for you, I think. At least be apart for this next week until I’m gone.”
“I want to talk to her first, for a moment.”
“Not possible.”
“She’s my wife.”
I heard Kallie’s footsteps shift. “And she’s my best friend. You decided to be without her for fifteen years. I’m pretty sure you can do another week.” The snark in her voice could not be mistaken. “Give her space. She needs it. This has all been a lot on her, and she’s still healing.”
I heard his feet move, and I thought he had retreated until I heard his voice again.
“I’ve been living half alive for so many years. But now I’ve had a glimpse of how it could be, how I could be if she chose me. I might not deserve her, but I want her. And I won’t give her up. ”
Without a response, Kallie shut the door. I knew it was over, yet I didn’t come out from around the corner until I heard his truck start up in the driveway.
I met the eyes of my best friend, and they were wide, staring at me in shock. “Julianna Joy East. Why didn’t you tell me he was so hot?”
I deflated, moving toward her with loose arms, and rolled my eyes. “Are you serious? That’s the first thing you’re going to say to me after all that?”
“I’m observant! My God, the guns on that man… and his hands…Damn. Fire emojis everywhere.”
I put my head in my hands, shaking it profusely. “I’m married to that.”
“Yes. Yes, you are.”
I groaned. “I should call him now and hear him out.”
“I’d hear him out, too,” Kallie said with a smirk, and I rolled my eyes again.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I…I think I love him, Kallie.”
She didn’t say anything to that, just stared at me in thought.
“I want to spend time with you this week,” she said, finally. “We can figure things out as we go. It doesn’t have to be all figured out tonight. Let’s get some sleep.”
I fell asleep with Kallie in Grams’ old room and dreamt of a past I couldn’t erase.