Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
Arriving back at Silverleaf, I’m expecting the code to have been changed again. But this time I’ve got Declan’s phone number and these games Giles is playing won’t stop me finding out the truth.
Surprisingly, the code works and the gate eases open.
I’m tempted to knock on Georgia’s door to ask why everyone gathered at Giles’s last night, but she’s made it clear she needs to keep her distance from me.
I know this isn’t her choice. It would be futile trying to speak to her, even if she did open her door to me; I’m certain she wouldn’t answer my questions about Xander’s wife, Kimmy Gould.
How is it that no one noticed the resemblance between my sketch of the woman I saw being attacked and Xander’s wife?
They’re all lying to me – but why? What are they hiding?
I make scrambled eggs on toast for lunch and sit at the kitchen table.
I can hardly taste the food I normally love.
When I’ve finished, I call Leo. It will be early morning in New York but I’m sure he’ll be up, getting ready to make a good impression at his conference.
I hate to interrupt him, but he needs to know what’s been happening.
I’m unprepared for when his voicemail kicks in. ‘Hi, this is Leo, leave a message.’
I clear my throat. ‘Hey, it’s me. I hope your conference goes well today.
I’m sure you’re more than prepared.’ I pause.
‘I don’t feel good about how things were between us before you left.
We’ve always been able to talk, haven’t we?
I’m not making all this up, and it’s not a figment of my imagination.
I know there was no antifreeze in the house, and I’ve never seen that phone in the car before.
I don’t know who left it there, but my guess is it was Eleanor.
She had that same brand candle on her shelf.
She didn’t bother hiding it because she wasn’t expecting me to knock on her door.
I’d never set foot in her house before then.
’ I take a deep breath. ‘I love you. Nothing’s changed.
I’m still the person I was. But there’s something bad going on here, Leo.
And I think the woman I saw was Xander’s wife.
I know . . . that’s a lot to get your head around, but I’ll have proof soon.
I met with Alicia today – Xander’s ex from the restaurant – and she’s been looking into it. She thinks he’s been—’
I’m cut off before I can finish what I want to say.
I look out of the living-room window, something I’ve spent too much time doing since we moved here.
It’s eerily quiet out there, but part of me wonders if the people who are at home are deliberately avoiding being seen.
Paranoia, Leo would tell me, but I know that’s not it.
I check the time: five past two. I’m not sure when Xander usually gets home from work, but I only have a few hours to prepare.
After I see Xander’s car pull up outside his house, I wait an hour then head over there. His face drops when he answers the door, so I assume he didn’t check his camera first. ‘Ria. What can I do for you?’ He glances past me, but there’s no one out there. Nobody to see us.
‘Can I come in? It’s important.’
He lowers his head when he looks at me, a patronising gesture I try to ignore. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea,’ he says. ‘Look, I’m sorry, Ria, but we all know what’s been going on.’ He shakes his head. ‘And spreading gossip about Giles and Eleanor really is a hideous thing to do.’
I fight back a bubble of rage. ‘That’s why I’m here. I’ve come to apologise. I’m planning to speak to all the neighbours personally, but I wanted to see you first. You’re the one I dragged into this that night when I said I’d seen a woman outside.’
Xander stares at me, appraising me with wide eyes; this must be the last thing he expected to come from my mouth. It feels like minutes pass before he finally speaks. ‘Okay.’
‘Will you let me in, then? Just for a minute. I really want to say sorry properly.’
He hesitates before opening the door, glancing past me again, and I step inside before he can change his mind.
‘I was just having a glass of wine,’ Xander says, leading me through to the kitchen. ‘Would you like to join me?’
‘Um, yes, that would be lovely.’ I haven’t drunk alcohol since my attack – I’ve been too worried about how it might affect me – but this evening I need to do this.
Plus, it will help calm my anxiety about being in Xander’s house, alone with the man who might have had something to do with the woman I saw being strangled.
He pours me a glass. ‘Chateau Petrus,’ he says, admiring the label. ‘From Bordeaux. Ever tried it?’
‘Can’t say I have. I don’t know much about wine,’ I admit.
‘Ah, then you’re missing out. People think it’s just something pleasant and relaxing to drink, but there’s so much more to wine than that. And this beauty might set one back a bit, but it’s worth remortgaging the house for.’ He laughs.
I take a sip and don’t point out that I’m not interested in what type of wine it is. Or that I’m only drinking with him to put him at ease.
‘Shall we sit?’ He gestures to the kitchen table.
It feels strange being here after the last time I sat in Xander’s kitchen. That night, nothing about Xander led me to believe he had anything to do with what I saw outside. Now, though, after everything I’ve learned from Alicia, a different light is cast over him, and his charm ricochets off me.
‘You know, you don’t have to apologise,’ he says. ‘We understand what you’ve been through with what happened to you before you moved here.’
I need to steer this conversation in a different direction. ‘I’ve . . . been keeping things from Leo.’
Xander’s head jolts forward and he stares at me. ‘Really? That doesn’t sound good. What kind of things?’
‘I did believe that I really saw two people out there that night. But . . . the next day, I realised it could just have been my mind conjuring things up. But I . . . I didn’t want to admit it to myself.
’ I stare at the table and avoid looking at Xander.
‘I kept the story going. I . . . felt like I had to. I didn’t want Leo to think I was damaged. I didn’t want anyone to think it.’
Xander leans back in his chair. ‘Jesus, Ria. Can’t you see how much worse that was than just telling everyone the truth?’
I look up. ‘I know. I’m sorry.’
‘And all that stuff you said about Eleanor? Why would you say that?’
‘I thought I’d seen her leaving Giles’s in the middle of the night, but I didn’t. I couldn’t have.’
‘Why are you admitting all this now? To me?’
‘Because my marriage is hanging by a thread. And I’m trying to do the right thing, to come clean. To everyone.’
Xander shakes his head. ‘Do you know the anguish you’ve caused Eleanor?’
I shut down the flicker of annoyance rising in my stomach. ‘Yes, and I’m going straight over there after this.’
‘Not sure she’ll be as accommodating as I am,’ Xander says. He takes a long sip of wine. ‘Eleanor’s . . . well, she’s sensitive. Once people upset her, I think she finds it hard to forgive.’
‘I can only try.’
He studies me through narrowed eyes. ‘And Giles’s dog?’
‘No – that was definitely nothing to do with me.’ I’m not prepared to accept responsibility for that, even to play this role.
He nods. ‘Okay. Well, I admire you,’ he says. ‘Most people might have carried on lying. It takes guts to admit you were wrong.’
‘We want to fit in here,’ I continue. ‘And I feel like we’ve got off on the wrong foot.’
‘Leo’s done nothing,’ Xander says. ‘We all respect him and like him. This must be hard on him.’
It unsettles me that Xander is speaking for all of them, as if no one in Silverleaf could have a different opinion. Declan had told me we were both on the fringes, and he was right. His voice will never be heard either.
‘Well, Leo’s a good man,’ I say. As soon as I’ve spoken, I think of how we left things, how Leo’s barely communicated with me since he’s been in New York.
‘He’s away, isn’t he?’ Xander asks. ‘At a medical conference?’
I nod. ‘He’s a keynote speaker.’
‘That’s very impressive,’ Xander says, lifting his glass. ‘At his age. What is he? Thirty-five?’
I raise my glass and drink, then say, ‘Yep. Same as me.’
‘And already living in a place like this. That man works hard,’ Xander says. ‘We all do. That’s what makes this place what it is.’
The image of Rufus sitting in a pub in King’s Cross flashes into my head. Working hard reading his book. ‘Silverleaf is definitely one of a kind.’ I smile. ‘Thanks for accepting my apology.’
He nods. ‘Of course. I like you, Ria. I never wanted any of this to happen.’
I nod. ‘Thanks. I think I’ve just been struggling here. To get to know everyone, and fit in.’
Xander finishes his wine and pours himself another. ‘Keep up,’ he says, laughing.
‘Oh, yeah.’ I force myself to drink more. My head is already cloudy.
‘As you’re here, you can get to know me now,’ he says. ‘That’s a good start, right?’ He gestures to his glass. ‘Plus, it’s always more fun drinking with someone else. Especially at five thousand pounds a bottle.’ He smiles.
I almost spit out my wine. ‘Five thousand pounds?’
‘Yes. But I’m happy sharing it with you.’
I don’t know how to respond to this so I smile back and lift my glass. ‘Well, thank you. So tell me about you, then.’ I wince, convinced Xander will see through me.
‘Oh, I’m really not all that interesting,’ he says, drumming his fingers on the table.
‘Alicia didn’t think that.’
He visibly bristles at the mention of her name. ‘That woman . . .’
‘Sorry. Should I not have mentioned her?’
Xander hesitates. ‘I don’t like to speak badly about people. Especially someone I was in a relationship with. But Alicia is . . . um . . . let’s just say she seems to be having trouble accepting our relationship’s over.’
My body stiffens. ‘What do you mean? Has something happened?’