30. Weston
30
Weston
“ M r. Abbott?” My assistant, Nina, pokes her head into the door. “You have a visitor.”
I look up from my laptop, where I’ve been staring blankly for the past thirty minutes, doing nothing. I’ve been useless at work all week. Daisy has spent the last three nights at my place, and each evening we follow the same routine—sex, dinner, more sex, before finally giving in to the need for sleep. It’s the absolute highlight of my day, being with Daisy, spending our evenings talking and laughing, and, of course, naked. I thought the first time we had sex was freaking amazing, but somehow, it’s only gotten better. When I don’t have my hands on her, it’s all I can think about. I haven’t been to the pool in days, but I don’t care. This is better than any workout. Honestly, I feel like I’m twenty years younger.
I push the thought of Daisy’s soft curves from my mind and focus on my assistant. I don’t have any meetings scheduled for today, and I could really use some uninterrupted time to actually get some work done. Whoever this is, they can come back later.
Unless, of course, it’s Daisy. Would she surprise me at work? I have the sudden image of closing my office blinds and bending Daisy over my desk, and my dick twitches in my pants.
So much for not thinking about her .
“Who is it?” I ask Nina, both hoping it’s her and knowing it probably won’t be.
“Your son.”
My heart stops cold.
“My son ?”
She nods, sensing my shock. I’ve tried not to air my dirty laundry in the office, but everyone knows things have been a little strained since Lydia’s death.
“Should I tell him it’s not a good time?”
“Uh, no.” I close my laptop, trying to keep my hands from shaking. “No, send him in.”
What the hell is Jess doing here? Does he somehow know about me and Daisy?
Don’t be ridiculous , I tell myself. How would he know?
I suck in a breath, trying to calm my whipping pulse as Jess enters my office. And despite how panicked I am, despite how angry I still feel after what he did to Daisy and how he behaved at the beach house, my heart softens at the sight of him. I’ve missed him.
“Hey, Dad,” Jesse mumbles, glancing around my office. He examines the bookcase stuffed with graphic design books and awards, my diploma framed on the wall, even the coffee machine in the corner, before finally letting his gaze settle on me.
I breathe out in relief. He doesn’t look like he’s here to pick a fight, quite the opposite. His shoulders are curled inward, his expression vulnerable. He looks like the kid who found out he was losing his mom, and emotion wells up in my chest.
My voice is hoarse when I say, “Hey, Jess. It’s good to see you.”
He nods, eying the chair in front of my desk, and I motion for him to sit. He seems relieved at this and sinks down into the leather.
“I, uh, wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me.”
I swallow down the emotion clogging my throat. “Of course I want to see you. I always want to see you. You’re my son.”
Jess balls up his fists and rubs them into his eyes. They’re red when he finally looks at me again. He hasn’t shaved for a while, so his jaw has filled in with stubble. I don’t know if that’s a choice, or a sign he’s not looking after himself. Either way, I can sense his uncertainty, so I try to break the ice.
“How’s work?”
The minute the question leaves my mouth, I wince. Last time we spoke it was to fight about his job, among other things. I half expect he’s going to roll his eyes and storm out the door, but instead a smile whispers across his lips.
“It’s good, actually. I got a new job at a bar in the East Village. Good pay, good hours. The owner is really nice; he’s already got me closing up two nights a week.”
Warmth suffuses my chest. He’s got a job. He’s happy and doing well there.
He’s talking to me.
“That’s great, son.” I’m trying not to be too enthusiastic, but I can’t help it. “Sounds like you get on well with your boss.”
Jess nods, chuffing a laugh as he looks down at his hands. “Yeah. That’s actually why I’m here. I mean, uh…” He shakes his head, his smile fading. “We had a long chat the other day before the rush started, and ended up talking about you.”
I blink in surprise. “Me?”
Jess nods, picking up a paperweight from my desk and examining it. “We started talking about family and stuff. He asked about my parents and I told him about Mom.” Jesse passes the paperweight from one hand to the next as he speaks, careful not to look at me. “And when he asked about you… Well, I’d been thinking about calling, but Cory really put things into perspective. He told me about his own father, who was…” Jess grunts a laugh. “Not great. And the more I thought about what you’d done for me, the more I realized… I don’t know. That I should apologize, or something.”
I gape at him. He’s here to apologize ? To me ? Who is this kid?
“I had time to think after Greenport,” Jess continues, setting the paperweight down and looking at me. “I’m sorry for the way I acted. Not just then, for the other stuff, too. I don’t think I ever said thanks for letting me crash at the house.”
“I…” I open and close my mouth in shock, searching for the words I need. “It’s your home, Jess. You’re always welcome there.”
“I’m grateful for what you’ve done for me,” he mumbles.
“I know.” Though I’m not entirely sure I did, until now.
“And I feel bad for storming off at the beach house and moving out while you were away.” Jess drops his gaze. “I’m sorry I missed your birthday.”
I draw breath to tell him that actually my birthday turned out okay, then catch myself. I can’t tell him that, can I? I can’t tell him I’ve met an amazing woman and I’m falling hard for her.
I’ll never be able to tell him.
Even if he treated Daisy badly. Even if he didn’t deserve her.
“I’m not the person you need to apologize to about the beach house, Jess.” I fiddle with the cuff of my shirt, lowering my gaze as I say her name. “It’s Daisy you need to speak to.”
“I did.”
I can’t stop my eyes from whipping up to his. “You did? When?”
“A couple days back. She met me at work and we talked.”
My pulse trips unexpectedly. Daisy went to see Jess and didn’t tell me?
“She’s the one who first got me thinking about talking to you,” Jess adds. His breath trickles out slowly as he leans back in the chair. “She was always pushing me to fix things with you. I just didn’t want to hear it.”
I think about Daisy telling me at Sullivan’s Cove how she tried to talk to Jess, how he wouldn’t let her in. How bad I felt that she took it upon herself to try to repair things with us.
“I really screwed up with her,” Jesse mutters, scraping his hands down his face. “She’s so great, and I messed it all up.”
I press my eyes shut, my insides twisting.
“I really liked her, too.” Jess puffs out a breath, and when I glance at him again, he’s shaking his head. “I got mad because she didn’t want to sleep with me. She was a virgin. Did you know that?”
I can feel color coming into my cheeks as I shrug absently, praying he doesn’t notice.
“Of course you didn’t. Why would you?” Jess gives a rueful laugh. “I should have been more patient.” He drags a hand through his hair. “Anyway. What’s done is done.”
I study my son, slumped in the chair opposite my desk. Of course he liked Daisy. She’s incredible. I don’t blame him one bit for regretting that he let her get away, but based on what she’s told me, they never stood a chance. Guilt tugs at me, knowing she wanted me while she was with my son, that I wanted her just as much, that it only took us a month to act on it after they broke up. But the feeling fades as I think about how freaking amazing it’s felt being with her. It’s hard to tell myself it’s wrong, when it feels so right.
I pick up a pen from my desk and roll it between my fingers to dispel some of the nervous energy running through me. “Where are you living?” I ask, hoping he doesn’t notice my awkward segue.
He cringes, glancing away. “I’m… between places right now. I’ve been crashing on Rex’s couch, but he’s subletting his place while he’s out of town for a couple weeks.”
I set the pen down, frowning. That’s hardly an ideal situation, and not only because I don’t want him spending any more time with Rex than is absolutely necessary.
“Come home, Jess.” The words leave my mouth before I’ve thought them through, more as a reflex than anything. Inviting him home is the last thing I should do. How will I explain the darkroom in the basement? More pressingly, how will I continue to see Daisy?
He shakes his head, setting his jaw. “No. I’m not going to use you anymore, Dad. That’s not why I came here.”
I should leave it here, should let it go, but he’s still my son and I still love him. I still want to provide for him, despite everything that’s happened. I’ll just have to figure out how to do that without him learning the truth.
And without losing Daisy.
“You’re not using me, Jesse.” I sigh. “It’s your home.”
Jess grimaces, picking at lint on his jeans. “Are you sure? It won’t be for long, just until I find my own place. I want to stand on my own two feet.”
If I wasn’t so preoccupied with my own racing thoughts, I’d be proud to hear those words come from my son’s mouth. I force my gaze to his, promising myself I’ll figure out the details later.
“You can stay as long as you need, Jess. I mean it.”
Gratitude flashes in his eyes. “Thanks. I work late most nights, so I’ll be out of your hair.”
I shake my head, softening. “I don’t want you out of my hair.”
“Well… I’ll help out more, I swear.” A sheepish smile touches his mouth. “I’d offer to cook, but we both know I’ll only end up poisoning one of us.”
A laugh shakes out of me, the sound completely at odds with the roiling in my stomach. I look at my son, smiling at me for the first time in years. If he needs a roof over his head, then that’s what I’ll give him, despite how torn I feel.
“Can I come after work tonight?” Jess asks hopefully. “I finish up at midnight.”
“Of course.”
“Thanks, Dad.” He rises from the chair and stands there awkwardly, looking at me. It takes me a moment to realize he wants to hug me.
Shit.
I stand too, pulling my boy into my arms. Not a boy anymore; a grown man. I can’t remember the last time I held him, and my throat closes with emotion. He’s come to me to apologize, to repair things, and it’s all I could ask for. It’s all I’ve wanted for three years.
But it’s bittersweet, finally mending this rift between us. Because I might have Jess back, but now I have something else I care about—something so precious I still can’t believe it’s real.
Something I’m not sure I’m willing to sacrifice.