31. Weston
31
Weston
M y heart is heavy as I plod down the stairs to the basement that evening. Jess will be home later tonight, and I have to tell Daisy things are about to get way more complicated. A better man would end the relationship to focus on his son, but it turns out I’m not the man I thought I was.
She’s not in the basement when I enter, but her bag sits on the coffee table with the Nikon poking out of the zipper, and the door to the darkroom is open. I step inside, glancing around at the space I created for her, the space she’s made her own, only to find it empty. There are stacks of prints on the table, with more pinned over the tub, drying. I let my gaze wander over the images, some familiar, like the surrounding neighborhood, and some I haven’t seen yet.
I stop short when I see an image of me, asleep in bed. Not just one, but several. I’m not used to seeing myself like this, and the details are incredible; the landscape of sheets across my stomach, the prickly whiskers on my jaw contrasting with the soft cotton on the pillowcase, the blissful look of slumber on my face as I no doubt dream of her. She must have taken these the other night, after we made love.
Fuck, she is so talented. Somehow she’s captured the texture of the room, the mood of the moment, the way I feel.
My heart clenches as I turn from the images. I don’t even want to think about how I feel, because it’s too much. It’s too much, too soon.
I drag both hands down my face, my insides churning. How will we make this work with Jess home? What was I thinking, letting this go so far?
The moment I step out of the darkroom and spy Daisy on the lounger outside in the yard, I know exactly what I was thinking. She saved me from the depths of my pain with her smile and her heart. She reminded me how good it feels to laugh. How good it feels to be alive. And I sure as hell don’t want to give that up.
Even if Jess will be home in a few hours.
Goddammit .
Daisy spots me through the glass door and saunters across with a grin, sliding the door open and stepping inside.
“Hey, you.” Rising onto her toes, she brushes a kiss over my mouth, and I let her. I let her circle her arms around my neck and pull me close, her bright, sweet smell washing over me. I let her tongue dart out and greet mine, let her hands roam my back.
And I’m utterly miserable when she pulls away, glancing at me uncertainly.
“Everything okay?”
No. No, it’s not fucking okay .
“Jesse came to see me today.”
“He did?” She clasps her hands together, eyes lighting with a surprised smile. “I was hoping he would.”
“He mentioned you’d spoken.” My brows draw together involuntarily. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She gnaws on her lip, dropping her gaze. “I’m sorry. I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure if he would reach out to you, and I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”
I give a slow nod. That makes sense, I guess.
“He said you encouraged him to talk to me,” I murmur.
“Of course.”
“Why would you do that, Daisy?”
Her eyes fly up to mine. “Are you mad?”
“Mad?” I stare at her, incredulous. “Why on earth would I be mad?”
She lifts a shoulder. “I know you told me it wasn’t my responsibility to fix things, but I had to try, Wes.”
“Why?” I press. Surely she must have known that if Jess came back into my life, it would make things nearly impossible for us. As grateful as I am to have my son back, a tiny part of me wishes things could have stayed as they were. That she and I could be happy in our little bubble without worrying about anything or anyone else.
I hate myself for being so damn selfish.
“Because…” She gives me a strange look. “Because he’s your son. Because I know you want him in your life.”
I heave out a breath, raking my hand through my hair. “And what about us?”
“Well…” She shifts her weight. “Look, I don’t want things to end. I feel like we’re just starting something… something big. But if being with me means you lose your son, that’s too high a price to pay. If I have to give you up so you can have him in your life… that’s more important.”
There it is. The thing I’d suspected ever since Jess mentioned his conversation with her this morning, but wouldn’t let myself acknowledge. She put my relationship with Jess above my relationship with her. She was prepared to sacrifice what we have, even though she doesn’t want that any more than I do.
She cares about me that much.
And suddenly, I am irrationally angry.
“This is so fucking unfair,” I growl. I spent three years grieving the loss of my beautiful wife, convinced I’d never meet another woman I could feel that way about again. Then, by some mercy of God, I was lucky enough to do just that, only to have her snatched away.
Again.
I sink onto the sofa, letting my head fall into my hands. How have I ended up here? Why is this so fucking complicated? I don’t want to lose Daisy. I want the complete opposite.
“It’s okay,” she says quietly. “I know it’s a difficult situation. I’ll… I’ll go.” She steps past me to grab her bag off the coffee table, but I reach out and tug her onto my lap, heat pressing at the back of my eyes.
“No, you won’t. I should be able to have the woman I’m crazy about and my son. I shouldn’t have to choose.” Crazy about is an understatement. Just thinking about what Daisy did for me, fuck…
I can’t deny it anymore. I’m in love with her.
And that thought terrifies me more than losing my son.
Shit, Pauline was right. Losing Lydia was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I can’t lose another woman I love.
“Wes—”
I capture her mouth with mine, plunging my hands into her hair. She doesn’t hesitate, swinging her leg over my lap so she straddles me. Her hands find my face, thumbs stroking my cheek as her tongue laps at mine, her hips rocking on my stiffening cock.
“You’re not going anywhere,” I rasp, untangling one hand from her mane to slide it up her thigh. I can feel the heat pouring out of her, and my other hand tightens in her hair, making her whimper.
“Are you sure? What about Jess? How will we—”
“I don’t want to think about that now.” I don’t want to think about Jess, about my feelings for Daisy, about this mess we’re in. I don’t want to think about anything other than burying myself inside her.
But I’m also painfully aware that if I make love to her now, I will no doubt blurt out my feelings, and after everything today, that doesn’t feel like the right thing to do.
So when Daisy gives me a dirty grin and says, “Do you want me to distract you?” I can’t help but nod.
“Yes. Take your panties off.”
Heat flares in her eyes and she climbs from my lap, reaching under her dress to wriggle her underwear down her legs. My cock flexes at the sight, at the way she steps out of the pink lace, looking at me expectantly, awaiting my next words.
“What else do you want?”
She loves me bossing her around when it comes to sex. At first I thought it was because she was inexperienced and wanted instructions, but I see now it’s a kink. She gets so turned on when I take charge, and honestly, I’m all too happy to oblige. I didn’t realize I was into that, but the way this woman responds to my commands makes me harder than steel.
“I want you to ride my face.”
Her breath stutters. “Really?”
“Fuck yes. Get over here.”
I slide down from the sofa onto the floor, my head leaning back at just the right angle for her to sit over me and hold the back of the couch.
Daisy looks nervous as she stands above me, her lemon-yellow dress obscuring the parts I want to see. I grab her hips and nudge her onto the sofa, her knees falling on either side of my head. Her dress covers my face, so it’s just me and her sweet, wet center. Her musky scent fills my nostrils, and I suck it deep into my lungs.
As much as I want to hide under here forever, I lift her dress away so I can breathe, and look up at her. She’s gripping the back of the couch, her eyes dark and wide as she stares down at my head between her legs. She frees a hand to hold her dress out of the way as I lift my tongue to meet her slickness.
“Fuck,” she whimpers, her body spasming over me as I give a long, slow lick, savoring her taste. “I’ve fantasized about this.”
“Yeah?” Another agonizingly slow swipe of my tongue.
“Y-yes.”
“Tell me, babygirl.” I scrape my beard across the tender skin of her inner thighs, making her quiver.
“I can’t…”
Withdrawing my tongue, I send her a stern look. “Tell me, Daisy.” When I give a tiny nip on her clit, she sucks in a sharp breath.
“It was on my bed,” she confesses, her cheeks streaking with pink.
I reward her by hooking my arms around her thighs and tugging her firmly onto my mouth, sliding my tongue inside her.
“Oh—God—”
“More,” I demand into her swollen flesh. “Tell me more.”
“I…” She bucks her hips as I suck her clit into my mouth. “I put a pillow between my legs and pretended it was you.”
Fuck . My dick pulses as I imagine Daisy in her room, rubbing her needy little pussy against her pillow and picturing my face. My hands tighten on her thighs, tongue and lips working over her throbbing clit.
“It was wet when I was done,” she pants, hips rocking against my mouth now.
I growl into her pussy, my own hips instinctively lifting, my cock raging at the lack of friction. I hadn’t known my babygirl was such a filthy little minx, but every time we fuck, I learn something new that turns me on even more.
“You’re such a dirty girl.” My fingers dig into her flesh possessively. “ My dirty girl. All mine.”
“Yes,” she rasps. “All yours.” She grips the back of the couch, riding my face with abandon now, her wetness all over my beard, my chin. I fucking love it, love the way she’s getting exactly what she wants and isn’t holding back.
Her eyes meet mine, half-lidded and dark with passion, and one final long suck on her clit pushes her over the edge. She pants my name as she grinds herself on my mouth, wringing every last drop of pleasure from her body. When she finally stops quivering, she climbs off and collapses onto the sofa. I wipe my mouth, rising to sit beside her.
“That was amazing.” She slumps against my side, sighing with pleasure, but my cock is still thick and hard in my pants, her taste warm on my tongue, and even though I should probably stop, should force myself to figure out what we’re going to do about Jess, I’m still not ready to face it.
“I’m not done with you yet, babygirl.”
Her eyes are glassy as she leans away to meet my gaze.
“I want you on your knees for me.”
A filthy grin slowly curls along her mouth, and she climbs off my lap, kneeling on the floor between my parted legs.
“Unzip my pants.”
She bites her lip, leaning forward to unbuckle my belt and slowly slide my zipper down. Her hands brush my erection as she passes, and it twitches eagerly, sending heat sizzling through me. She hasn’t wrapped those pretty little lips around me yet, and now seems like the perfect time.
“Take my cock out.”
A shudder moves through her at my words, legs pressing together on the rug. Before she can complete her task, I lean forward to tuck her loose hair back over her shoulder, then tug her dress and bra down, freeing her breasts.
“Perfect,” I say thickly, motioning for her to continue.
She reaches into my boxer briefs, her hand circling my shaft and pulling it out. It throbs the instant she touches it, hot and aching against the cool skin of her palm.
“Is it weird to say I love your dick?” she murmurs, gazing at it reverently as she begins to stroke.
I give a dark chuckle, caressing her hair. “Not at all, baby. I love every part of your body.”
“Oh, well, if I’m allowed to list all the parts I love…” She grins, reaching one hand up to unbutton my shirt. Then she runs her fingertips across my beard, my chest, my stomach, rising to her knees to kiss me as she jerks me slowly.
Honestly, the way this woman worships me… I feel like a god.
Her mouth moves lower, and when her teeth find my nipple and bite gently, heat sparks through my abdomen. Christ, I didn’t even know I liked that.
I reach out to touch her breasts, cradling them in my hands, rubbing my thumbs over their rosy peaks. “I absolutely love your tits.”
For fuck’s sake . I mentally roll my eyes at myself. Seriously, tits ? I sound like a freaking caveman.
“I like you calling them that,” she purrs, arching into my hands. “It sounds so dirty.”
I shake my head as she lowers herself between my knees, focusing on my cock. “You never stop surprising me, Daisy. Everything about you turns me on.”
She gives a grunt of arousal, looking up at me from under heavy lids as she rubs her thumb over my tip, collecting the bead of precum and bringing it to her mouth, sucking her thumb clean.
Jesus Christ.
“Everything about you turns me on, too. I mean it, Weston. Everything.”
God, the way she says my name in that husky voice. She’s so fucking perfect, face flushed and lips moist, my taste on her tongue and my cock in her hand. I want to capture her like this forever.
“Is there any film left in that camera?” I ask roughly, motioning to the Nikon sitting in her bag on the table behind her.
She glances over her shoulder. “A few shots. Why?”
“Pass it here, baby.” She hands me the camera, and I raise it to my eye, watching her through the viewfinder. “These are just for me.” I press the shutter, watching as it captures her dark gaze, her fingers curled around my length. Her mouth hooks into a naughty grin, and I press the shutter again, needing to record that image forever.
Needing her forever.
Fuck. I can’t think that. I don’t know how I can have that.
The moment she takes me into her mouth, all thoughts evaporate from my head. My entire existence narrows to this moment, to the sight of Daisy’s lips wrapped around me, the feel of her soft, warm mouth.
My breath hisses out as she sucks, fingers flexing around my base. She bobs up and down, the heat of her mouth making my balls draw up tight. Nothing has ever felt so good.
Then she pops off, looking up at me uncertainly as she licks her lips. “Tell me what you like. I’ve never done this before and I want to do it properly.”
A disbelieving laugh rumbles out of me. “You could have fooled me, babygirl. You’re doing fucking great.”
The smile that breaks across her face makes my heart pull taut. She’s so happy with my praise.
“Keep going,” I tell her, threading my hand into her hair and winding it around my fist. “Just like that.”
She takes me back into her mouth, squirming as she does, clearly still aroused.
“Touch yourself while you suck me, baby. Make yourself come with my dick in your mouth.”
Her moan reverberates down my shaft as she lowers a hand between her thighs, reaching under her dress. She looks so fucking depraved like this, with her lips wrapped around my cock and a hand between her legs, and I have to take one last photo. Then I toss the camera aside and give in to the pleasure, watching her work.
“That feels so good.”
She whimpers, hand moving faster under her dress, legs shifting restlessly.
“Look at you, sucking my cock like such a good girl.”
She grips my base tighter, trying to draw more of me into her mouth. It makes pleasure wash through me, brings me closer to the edge, and my fist tightens in her hair.
“Yes, like that,” I grate out, voice shredded as I feel myself losing control. I reach down to touch her breast, tweaking her tight nipple with my fingers. “Take all of me, baby.”
Another moan vibrates down my shaft as she draws me back into her throat, gagging on my size. Heat bolts through me, and when she reaches down to tug on my balls, I explode.
“Fuck, Daisy—”
I’m dimly aware of her writhing and groaning on the floor as I spill down her throat, one hand tight in her hair, a bestial moan tearing from my mouth. It takes me a few minutes to blink the haze from my vision, and when I finally look down at Daisy again, she’s licking my shaft clean, smiling at me like a fucking porn star.
Christ.
She lets me go with a sigh, pulling her dress up and rising to her knees to flop onto the sofa beside me. I tug my still-throbbing dick back into my pants and pull Daisy into my side. She’s so soft and pliant in my arms, letting her head fall onto my exposed chest. I can’t imagine sending her home, telling her she can’t use the darkroom anymore after all the progress she’s made.
“Daisy… I want nothing more than to take you up to my bed, to sleep beside you, but Jess is coming home after work later, and…”
“I understand.” She sits up, adjusting her dress. “I’ll go.”
“I’m not ending things,” I say hastily, needing to make that crystal clear. “I don’t want to lose you, baby. I just need to figure this out.”
My mind works overtime, trying to come up with a solution to this mess. Jess said he works late into the night, so I could still see Daisy in the evenings before then. She could still use the darkroom when Jess is at work, as long as she’s careful not to leave any of her belongings lying around the house. Not that she would—she’s too considerate for that. I could put a lock on the darkroom. It’s unlikely Jess would go down to the basement anyway; he lives his entire life in his room on the top floor. Daisy couldn’t sleep over, of course, that would be too risky, but I could go to her place when her roommate is out of town, and if we ever wanted to get more time alone we could go to the beach house. In fact…
“When do you next have a day off?”
She glances back at me. “Um, I’m not working next weekend. Why?”
“I want to go to the beach house with you. On purpose this time.”
Her brown eyes sparkle. “I’d love that.”
I grin, ignoring the unease that snakes through me. I’ll make this work. It’s not ideal, but it means I don’t have to lose her. Of course, it also means lying to Jess, but as I pull Daisy against my chest, that feels like a small price to pay.
I press my lips to her forehead, my heart pummeling my ribcage, and not because she just gave me the blowjob of a fucking lifetime. It’s not about sex at all, actually. It’s about her . It’s the way I spend all day looking forward to seeing her. The lengths she goes to to care for me, from the simple act of creating coffee just to make me smile, to bringing me a birthday cake despite me telling her I couldn’t see her anymore. The fact that she was willing to sacrifice whatever this is between us, so I could have my son back in my life.
You’ve been through hell, Wes. You deserve something good.
I think of Pauline’s words from my birthday lunch, and my arms tighten around Daisy protectively. She might be prepared to sacrifice us, but I’m not. I won’t let go of this woman now that I’ve found her. I can’t.
Not even for my son.