8. Chapter Eight
Chapter Eight
Thank you for bringing me dinner last night,” Lizbeth said when she got into my van the next morning. “And thank you for not making me talk about it more.”
I gave her a wide smile as I backed out of the spot.
With what Grace had shared about Lacock State politics and Mason’s failing career, I didn’t have the mental space to add in Lizbeth’s frustrations.
I felt safe that she had a support system in place who could help her.
Her grandparents lived about twenty minutes away.
The best thing I could have done was bring her dinner and let her rest. This morning, she seemed like her normal self.
I, on the other hand, was a bit grumpy. Mason would always live rent free in my head.
He was my biggest heartbreak. It was one thing for him to see how I thrived after his rejection, but it made me uncomfortable to see him fail to get what he wanted.
I only wanted him to see that I had been right about what was best for me.
I never wanted him to fail. My first instinct was to fix it for him, but that wasn’t my place anymore.
Was it ever my place? When we had been planning a life together, I had never stopped to consider that he was making the decisions he wanted.
If this was what came from those choices, then it wasn’t my place to fix it for him.
I spent most of the night with my laptop open, looking over Mason’s EncycloWiki profile and reviewing his edits.
Like me, he had started editing years before we had gotten together.
He was good at finding citations for claims people made in articles and cleaning up articles to make them easier to read.
After breaking up, I struggled to open my heart again.
Most of my romantic relationships had been short.
I wanted what I had with Mason, and nobody else was like him.
After dinner with Grace, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how it felt to be rejected and abandoned just when I thought I had the partner who saw the real version of me.
I was stuck in my anger, which was why I was here showing off how far I had come.
How much of my career was built around spite, not just about Mason but everything that had happened to me?
Anger drove me to excel, and I was usually happy with that.
I had let Mason see past the anger, but I had to admit that it’s what put the final nail in the coffin of our engagement.
I wasn’t ready to let go of my anger, but I was ready to spend the rest of the weekend around him.
Sure, my success felt hollow if he was falling apart.
I wasn’t all about my anger. Deep down, I wanted to make it easy for everyone to succeed.
Mason had wanted the same thing, and this was the main reason my desire for him turned to love.
While we were together, I put my own ambition on his shoulders.
He wasn’t the fighter I was. Instead, he did things quietly behind the scenes, empowering others. That’s why his students loved him.
Today was the start of the real conference and there would be more people to chat with about my new job, especially since it was being officially announced.
Lois Fairfax agreed to open the conference and welcome everyone.
Now she was going to introduce me, and I was making the opening statements before the keynote speaker.
I was thrilled to steal some of her thunder, but it was critical that I not let it show.
I needed to pretend I liked her. I hoped she would leave after her welcome message.
Lizbeth and I navigated to the campus conference center, which had been remodeled since I graduated.
The lecture hall where the large group sessions met had been the room I was most anxious about.
When I had been teaching, there was no ramp down to the front of the room and the only entrance was in the back.
Every time I had been scheduled to teach here, I forced them to find a more accessible classroom.
Now two of the three staircases had been converted to ramps and numerous theater chairs had been removed to make space for chairs and scooters that needed to be parked.
Next to each of those spots was an adjustable desk that could be raised and lowered based on the height of the wheelchair.
I saw signs about how to sync assistive devices with video and audio in the room.
I knew they were taking advantage of this tech to broadcast conference sessions.
“Are you only here to open the conference?” Cooper asked as he dropped into the seat next to me. “I think there are a few sessions you’d enjoy.”
As the acting head of WikiAcademia, he had to present about their work this weekend.
I had plans to be at a few of the sessions throughout the day.
I welcomed the chance to attend some of them at Cooper’s side.
I knew it would look like I was going to prioritize WikiAcademia’s work with college students.
I was perfectly comfortable with that. I pulled out the conference schedule. “What are you thinking?” I asked.
Cooper pointed to a session on the schedule. “I’m interested in this session for academic faculty about leveraging their EncycloWiki work for getting grants and funding for research.”
He was pointing at a session that Mason was part of.
“Mason Wright is one of the presenters and I believe he’s trying to use his EncycloWiki work to help him get tenure,” I said with a deep sigh.
“What’s going on that you want to see more about it?
I assume it’s another talk about how faculty can’t use their work writing and editing EncycloWiki to advance their careers. ”
Cooper waved the comment away. “We both know tenure has been talked about for years. I hope he’s not rehashing that.
I’ve worked with Mason’s classes in the past and know he’s very involved in being an editor himself.
This seems to be focusing on how faculty should use it as part of the conversation around publicly sharing research and open access.
I’m curious how he’s going to reconcile it with EncycloWiki policies and culture.
There are some big ideas getting thrown around the WikiAcademia meetings and there may be some connections. ”
I raised an eyebrow, but Cooper put his finger over his lips. “I can’t share more yet, but I assure you that I will soon. I can say we’ve realized that there are a high number of faculty at Lacock State working with us and they seem to have come because of Mason.”
Looking around us, I saw a few people looking at the laptops and typing, but I noticed Heather, who was looking right at us.
I wondered what she had overheard. I was positive she was one of those faculty members.
I recalled what Grace had said the night before about Heather thinking she was the next Lois Fairfax and being frustrated.
“From their sociology department?” I asked.
Cooper nodded. “And more! I spoke to a lot of them over the past few weeks, and they all talked about how he works with them the first semester and started a group on campus to expand the experience beyond the classroom. Denise, the librarian, is part of that team.”
It took me a moment to put it together. How could people rave about his work and then deny him tenure?
Then I realized he was probably helping the newer faculty who were open to these types of assignments.
The tenure committees would be made up of faculty older than him and more immersed in campus politics than helping their students.
I raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I’ll go with you,” I said.
I was intrigued since WikiAcademia had been Mason’s dream and someone had created it without him.
I had expected him to avoid interacting with them, but that he was bringing new faculty to the program was fascinating and totally something he would do.
Cooper smiled and raised an eyebrow. “Think how it will look to everyone else to see us both in his session.”
I wasn’t concerned about everyone, just with what Mason would think if I showed up with Cooper.
I’ve spoken at enough conferences to know that speakers consider who is in the room and a politically savvy speaker will use that to their benefit.
Was Mason able to do that or would my presence intimidate him?
“You got it!” I said and high-fived Cooper.
“Please help me welcome Doctor Lois Fairfax, Lacock State’s President, to say a few words,” Lizbeth said to the room as she officially opened the conference.
Lois Fairfax stood at the front of the room and waved to me from the podium. It felt weird that she was so happy to see me, but I was sure she wanted people to think she was chummy with the new executive director.
“I’m so happy to welcome EncycloWiki editors from around this continent to Lacock State University,” the university president said slowly and clearly.
I glanced at the sign language interpreter off to the side as he repeated the words for those needing the assistance. I looked down at my tablet, where I had loaded the video feed and was glad to see he was clear for those at home. I wasn’t paying much attention to what Lois was saying.
“I was so excited when I was asked to introduce this next speaker,” Dr. Fairfax said. “When I heard she was officially announcing her new role, I insisted that I be the one to introduce her to the community.”
I wanted to roll my eyes. I couldn’t blame her for trying to spin this to make herself look good, but I was too aware of our history to dismiss it.
“Penny Smith is someone I’ve known for over a decade,” Lois continued.
“When I met her, she was a student in our sociology PhD program. If it wasn’t for her work fighting for all our students and residents, this campus would never have been able to accomplish as much as we have to make the university and city accessible. ”
Lois was an amazing speaker, and I watched as she waited for a response before continuing. If I had liked her more, maybe I would have admired this about her.
“Penny taught me how important this work is,” Lois said with a smile directed at me, “and I think this organization is in great hands with her playing a role in how its administered. I am so thrilled that one of our alumni is now leading this amazing organization.”
I considered rolling over her toes when I got to the front of the room, but it was time to play political games with someone who was exceptionally good at it. “Penny Smith, thank you and congratulations on your new role,” Dr. Fairfax said and gestured to where I was sitting.
The room broke into applause. I took a deep breath and went to the front of the room.
A microphone had already been attached to me so I could move around the room.
I was ready to face a room of people I had known for years.
Lois Fairfax took a seat next to Lizbeth in the front row.
I felt my heart racing, and it felt weird.
I had testified in front of congress! This audience was full of friends and colleagues, not toxic people looking for me to fail.
I wasn’t ready to unlock all my feelings about what had happened.
That woman had tried to destroy my life, succeeding at ending my relationship with Mason.
She was using my work to create her own legacy and only giving me credit because I was here.
Dr. Fairfax felt like my competition who may have been called out for not acknowledging me.
She had won years ago and for some reason I felt like this was her victory lap - push me out of Mason’s life and claim my work as her own.
I knew this emotional fight would drain my energy, but I was going to have to reconcile it if I was going to move on.
She may have won our war for Mason, but I wasn’t going to let her win now.
This was my community, and they were the reason I had been hired.
I opened my mouth, ready to show this woman how all her efforts to tear me down had failed.
A smile spread across my lips. This wasn’t a political game anymore. This was a victory lap.