Chapter 10 #2
After the main course, Amelia glanced around at the others. “What do you want for dessert?”
Kat and Zach grinned at each other and answered in unison. “Jam and biscuits?”
Thrilled at the connection between brother and sister, Amelia beamed as she brought a pint of raspberry jam to the table.
Kat frowned at the jar. “I helped Ma make this last summer.”
Zach gave Amelia a look full of pleading, obviously unsure how to comfort his little sister.
Amelia squeezed Kat’s shoulder. “What a privilege to have been able to work with your ma. She’d be so proud of how you’re doing.”
Kat tipped her head back to look at Amelia. “How can you say that? You didn’t even know her.”
“That’s true. I’ve never met her in person, but I see her in the missing and loving in your pa’s eyes. I see her in the way you smile and how kind you are to Poppy.” Amelia shifted her gaze to Zach. “I see her in the way your brother takes care of you.”
Zach’s eyes darkened, and she remembered the moment out in the field of flowers and all the longing that had tugged at her heart. Useless feelings unless Zach opened his mind to accepting her. She glanced past him to the rest of the house.
“I see her in the afghan hanging over the rocking chair, in the dishes that were hers, and in the pictures on the wall and the books in the bookcase.”
Kat sniffled. “That’s pretty.”
“It sure is.” Zach’s voice had deepened.
Amelia’s attention returned to her plate. She split a biscuit and put jam on it for Poppy.
After supper, Kat helped Amelia clean the kitchen. Amelia thanked her and hugged her around the shoulders.
“Is it Poppy’s bedtime?” Kat asked.
“She can stay up a bit longer.”
“Good. Come on, Poppy. Let’s play.”
The pair headed outside. Pa followed.
Zach moved to Amelia’s side. “Your words really helped Kat. Thank you.”
She smiled, knowing her heart and all her feelings filled her eyes.
But she didn’t care. She wanted him to see how much she had to offer.
As her throat constricted, she allowed herself to acknowledge how she’d miss every single member of this family, every room in the house, and every mountain view.
He beckoned to her. “Come on outside. It’s a pleasant evening.”
Disappointed but not surprised he didn’t read her silent message, she followed him. Would he ever see how helpful she was? Or perhaps he did, but it wasn’t enough.
She almost stumbled. Because of the letters she’d received, she knew he’d had a girl he courted for a spell.
I blush to tell you this, but I serenaded Miss Nellie Newell under her window.
She was duly impressed. Her father wasn’t and threatened to sic the dogs on me.
You might well wonder where she is now and why I’m not still courting her.
But I got so busy on the ranch that I didn’t have time for courting, so she took up with someone who did.
That’s why I’m doing the mail-order thing. I don’t have time for serious courting.
He’d told her so again in person when she showed up expecting a marriage. What he hadn’t bothered to ask was, did she expect courting? She didn’t. And besides, they’d grown to know each other in the time she’d been at the ranch.
But, unbeknownst to her, had he taken to pursuing another young lady?
She must ask even if she dreaded the answer. Though why should it matter to her? She wasn’t welcome here. Still, thinking of another woman taking her place pained her mightily.
What had caused Amelia to stumble and then gasp? But Zach saw nothing on the floor to trip her, nor anything nearby to explain her action. She seemed fine as they went outdoors, so he shrugged off concern.
Kat and Poppy chased back and forth in a noisy game.
Pa sat by the corner, watching them. He had his bad moments but on the whole, had grown more content to be home. In part, that must be due to the little one’s presence.
How would Pa react if—no, when—Amelia and Poppy left? Because the Dakota farmer, with his uncomplicated life, was the sort of man, the sort of situation they deserved.
He thought of joining Pa, but Amelia seemed restless and several times glanced toward Ma’s wildflower patch.
He grinned. Maybe she wanted to repeat the fun they’d had this afternoon.
More than the fall to the ground had made it impossible for him to catch his breath.
Her arms across his chest were like a sweet hug.
Her hair had come loose from the coil she wore to church and fell across her shoulders, brushing his face.
Her eyes gleamed like hot emeralds. It took every ounce of his self-control not to pull her closer and kiss her.
He had no right. A Dakota farmer courted her albeit by mail. But that aside, no matter how Zach looked at his life, it was not the sort of man with any pride or scruples could ask a woman to share, even though having her here had eased his burden. That was looking at it selfishly.
“I’m going for a walk,” she said.
“Do you want company?” He fell in at her side without waiting for her to answer. They reached the flower patch before either of them spoke. “Is something troubling you?”
She picked a bluebell and studied it, her head down so he couldn’t see her face. “In the letters you didn’t write”—she gave a mirthless chuckle—“you told me about Nellie and how she chose someone else to be her beau.”
Zach sputtered. “Is there anything this person who isn’t me didn’t tell you?”
Her head came up, her gaze direct and challenging. “You—he—didn’t say whether you have a new girl you’re interested in.”
He did, and she stood before him. “Amelia, you can’t be serious.
First, when would I ever have time to court a woman?
These last few days are the first since Ma died that I haven’t been needed in at least two places at the same time.
” The truth was, he still felt torn between his responsibilities.
Thanks to Amelia, the pressure had eased.
But he wasn’t going to make her feel she was obligated to help him.
“Above that, I have a pa who needs constant watching and careful handling. I have a sister who threatens to ride the wildest mustang in the entire territory.” Except she hadn’t bothered nearly as much since Amelia came.
Seemed she enjoyed playing with Poppy. “I have a cook who does his job about half the time. A drought and a selfish neighbor both threaten my cows. If it doesn’t rain soon, it might be like Sobel said.
I might wish I’d sold out while I could. ”
Her eyes remained focused on him, never jerking away, never dipping in the least.
“This is not a situation which I could with honor ask a woman to share with me.” There. He’d said it aloud. Saved her from having to point out the endless list of things against him.
She crossed her arms and fired him a hot look. “It sounds to me like what you need is someone to help you.” She climbed the hill, long strides eating up the distance.
Before he caught up, she turned. “Zach, is it honor or pride you’re talking about?”
“Pride?” He swallowed to stop himself from sputtering. But she steamed on, not allowing him a chance to answer. Not that he had one. He trotted after her, falling in step at her side.
By the time they reached the barn, he could no longer keep quiet. “I thought you, of all people, might understand.”
She jerked about to face him. “Why? Because my situation back in Ohio made me realize how unacceptable I was? Am.” The pain in her eyes sliced through him. “But at least I’m not too proud to seek an arrangement that will benefit Poppy and me.”