22. Chapter 22
I’m here to confirm that there is no better feeling in the world than holding Alyssa in the ocean.
My hands clutch her thighs. Her arms are slung casually over my shoulders as she tilts her head back, the sun casting a honey glow on her face and hair.
I’ve never been more attracted to her. I mean, she’s always stunning, but right now she looks joyful and carefree, like nothing in the world can bring her down.
And I love seeing this unfiltered side of her, wet-haired and fresh-faced. It’s simply Alyssa.
Beautiful.
When she looks at me, her smile is like Cupid’s arrow shot straight into my heart. Just call me whipped. On a leash for her. She can take me wherever, ask me to do whatever she wants. I’ll crawl. Bark. Beg. Anything to show her that my feelings have changed.
I know it’s taken me a long time to realize it—to notice her in this way—but now I can’t unnotice it.
Her eyes move to my lips, and suddenly the air is different between us.
Charged. This feels like the moment I’ve been waiting for.
In their game plan, my teammates told me to kiss her again if things felt right.
I’m pretty sure Hayden’s exact words were “kiss ze girl” in the voice of Sebastian from The Little Mermaid.
And I’m not sure we’ll get another moment like this.
It’s my time to go big and take a shot on what could be.
I want to kiss her. To see if the spark from the night we met is still there. But if I’m misreading her signals, I’ll walk away like this never happened. Even though I’m sure I’ll have the feeling of her body pressed to mine branded on my skin for the rest of time.
“Tell me what you want, Lyssa.”
Her lips part, her pupils dilating before she slowly drags her gaze up to mine.
There are a thousand questions in her eyes.
The same ones I feel deep in my soul. If we cross this line, where do we go from here?
Will this be the start of our life together?
Can we go back to being friends if there’s no spark, or will a kiss ruin the friendship we’ve been building for three years?
But she’s the risk I’d willingly take over and over again.
“Austin.” Her voice is quiet, barely above a whisper. But the two syllables of my name hold desire and vulnerability.
“What do you want?” I repeat, unwilling to take this leap if she’s not right there with me.
She holds my gaze, looking both terrified and determined. “This.”
I move a hand up and gently trail my thumb along her jawline, stopping when I reach the soft spot beneath her ear. My fingers tangle into her wet hair as I move my mouth down to hover above hers.
Our breaths intermingle as I whisper, “You know what I want?”
My eyes roam over her face, taking in the splay of freckles on her forehead and cheeks. Her adorable nose. Her soft pink lips. Her brilliant blue eyes that match the sky.
“You.”
I move to where I can stand, not wanting to have to worry about treading water. This is the kind of moment I want to put everything into. Alyssa’s hands tighten around the back of my neck, and she pulls my mouth the remaining distance to hers.
Our lips move in a hungry dance, starved of each other for years. But now that they’re finally reunited, they’re making up for lost time. Consuming. Tasting. Devouring. Savoring.
She tastes sweet and tropical like her coconut coffee. Earlier this morning she said she’d drink one every morning, and I’d gladly supply them to her to make her happy and to taste the sweet, intoxicating flavor on her lips.
I’m filled with an insatiable need to be closer, and she must feel it, too.
Her legs tighten around my waist, and her hands tug at the hair at the nape of my neck.
I take the opportunity to slide a hand from her thigh to her lower back, grazing the bare skin between her workout top and leggings.
Each press of my lips to hers is connected to the next like the rhythm of the ocean’s waves rocking us.
This feels like it’s been a long time coming, but it also feels like coming home. That sigh of relief when you step back into your own space. If comfort were a person, it would be Alyssa.
Kissing her has felt out of reach—a distant memory, like the sun sinking toward the horizon.
It looks close, but no matter how far you swim, you can’t grasp it.
But now with her legs around my waist and my lips exploring hers, it feels like the sun is mine once again. She’s setting my entire body ablaze.
But for her, I’d burn.
Our first kiss was amazing, but this one tops it. It’s more passionate in the kind of way that only comes from knowing someone deeply. It serves as a reminder of how much of an idiot I was three years ago. How could I pass up this because of my career?
Alyssa is more than the sport I love. More than the woman I’ve been falling for.
She’s my best friend. The person I look for in the stands each game.
The one I want to cheer me up whenever I have a hard loss.
And the one I want to celebrate the wins with.
She’s my person. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it.
I infuse every promise into each kiss. All the vows I can’t say out loud yet, but hope to one day.
When we finally pull back, I rest my forehead against hers, unable to form words or move. I wonder if she just experienced the same euphoria as me. From the way her chest is rapidly rising and falling, I’d say it’s a safe bet to assume she did.
The ocean waves gently rock us, bringing a grounding sensation I’m in desperate need of after that world-rocking kiss.
I press a kiss to her forehead. When I finally meet her gaze, Alyssa and I are wearing matching smiles, and her cheeks are tinged with a pink that has satisfaction coursing through me.
I’m about to tell her how amazing that kiss was when I notice Bianca and Bradley on the beach, staring at us with disgust, before stomping off. Well, as much as someone can stomp in sand.
“Do you think they saw?” I gesture toward their retreating figures.
Alyssa turns her head, and when she faces me again, there’s a new emotion there. I almost think it’s hurt. But I don’t know what reason there would be for her to feel hurt after what just happened between us.
Alyssa untangles herself from my waist to stand in the water beside me. “Probably.” She averts her gaze. “We should go eat breakfast and dry off. I don’t think either of us wants to hike in wet clothes.”
I stare at her in shock, wondering how we just went from making out to this. “Uh, yeah. Don’t you think we should talk about that kiss, though?”
She hugs her middle as a wave rocks gently against us. “We should just call it what it was: us being caught up in the heat of the moment.”
I blink, refusing to believe she didn’t feel the same things I did. I mean, before we kissed, she said she wanted this, too. So, I thought we were on the same page. I thought we both wanted a relationship that extends beyond this vacation. But I guess I was wrong.
“If that’s what you want,” I whisper.
“Let’s forget it happened.” Alyssa stares out at the ocean, her brows furrowed and jaw set.
I can tell there’s more she wants to say, but I know her well enough to understand that she needs time to process things. So, even though it kills me to leave things how they are for now, I’ll give her space to work through whatever’s going on in that beautiful brain of hers.
“Okay.” I know she mentioned eating and drying off before we hike, so I motion behind her. “What do you think about lying on the lounge chairs and ordering food poolside?”
She nods. “I’ll go grab some chairs if you want to grab our stuff.”
“Oka—” She’s gone before I can finish the word, running away from me at the surprising speed of a player stealing home. I shake my head, still trying to process how I just went from cloud nine to feeling like I have a weight shackled to my ankle, dragging me to the ocean floor.
I throw out our watered-down drinks and toss our sweat towels from that torturous Pilates class into a dirty towel bin.
I grab two menus from the poolside bar and meet Alyssa in a sunny spot beside the adults-only pool.
I take a seat on the open chair next to her and hand her a menu.
I also hold out my sweatshirt, dry from its safe spot on the sand. “Want this?”
She stares at the menu. “I’m good, thanks.”
I blink in shock. What the heck did I do wrong?
I hate to admit it, but it might be time to call in some backup.
Single ’Stangs Group Chat
ME
I need backup.
HAYDEN
Mustangs, assemble!
FLETCH
We’re not the Avengers, dude.
HAYDEN
Not with that attitude.
COOPER
Whatcha need, bro?
ME
I flirted with Alyssa.
We’re stuck sharing the same room—and there’s only one bed.
And she slept in my shirt while I was shirtless.
HAYDEN
How did she get in your shirt???
DAWSON
That’s what you got from that?
ME
She needed pajamas to sleep in, so I gave her my shirt.
DAWSON
Smart move. Did you spray some cologne on it first?
ME
No, should I have?
FLETCH
Couldn’t hurt.
HAYDEN
But maybe she already knows your NASTAYYY.
COOPER
Guys, we’re getting off track here.
HAYDEN
You’re so right, Coopity Scoop Doop.
COOPER
Please don’t ever call me that again.
HAYDEN
*rolling on the floor laughing emoji*
I really don’t see the problem here, Austin.
ME
I kissed her today.
DAWSON
You already kissed her on day two?
FLETCH
You’re more of a dog than I thought!
HAYDEN
And I repeat, the problem is…???
COOPER
You use too many question marks.
HAYDEN
You’re just jealous you don’t have my enthusiasm for life.
COOPER
Thank the Lord for that.
DAWSON
Back to the actual discussion at hand. It sounds like you’re following the game plan!
ME
I am…but she’s avoiding me now.
DAWSON
After you kissed her?
HAYDEN
Did you have an onion bagel for breakfast?
FLETCH
Are you a bad kisser?
ME
How do you know if you’re a bad kisser?
FLETCH
Has any girl ever told you that you’re a good kisser?
ME
I’ve never asked someone to rate it afterward…
FLETCH
Yeah, you might be a bad kisser.
DAWSON
How long was the kiss? Are we talking a peck or a solid make-out?
ME
A solid make-out, for sure.
COOPER
When did she start avoiding you?
ME
We were still in the ocean.
HAYDEN
You kissed in the ocean? Nice, man!
ME
And I think I mentioned her cousin and ex on the beach.
It wasn’t bad, though, just something about them watching.
DAWSON
And that’s when her demeanor changed?
ME
Yeah.
COOPER
Didn’t you say y’all were gonna fake things around them?
ME
Crap.
FLETCH
That’s a rookie move, bro.
DAWSON
She must think you kissed her for show.
ME
I’m an idiot.
DAWSON
Good thing being an idiot is fixable.
FLETCH
Unless you’re Hayden.
HAYDEN
HEY!!!
ME
But when I asked her if we should talk about the kiss, she said we were just caught up in the heat of the moment and should forget it happened.
DAWSON
She was probably hurt, man.
COOPER
Apologize and tell her how you feel.
DAWSON
Just be honest and open up. What’s the worst that could happen?
FLETCH
She could stop talking to him.
DAWSON
That was supposed to be a rhetorical question.
HAYDEN
What’s rhetorical?
ME
It’s a figure of speech.
A question that you’re not really expecting an answer to.
HAYDEN
Why would you ask a question without wanting an answer?
COOPER
I’m on a team with children…
DAWSON
Back to the actual point. Just talk to her, man.
HAYDEN
You’ve got to fix this, Bradford! The future of the world depends on you!
FLETCH
Dude. For the last time, we’re not the Avengers.
HAYDEN
Even better, we’re THE SINGLE ’STANGS. I just need to buy us matching capes.
COOPER
No.
FLETCH
Hard pass.
DAWSON
You lost me on that one.
HAYDEN
You guys never let me have any fun.
DAWSON
Austin, just talk to her.
COOPER
Women love clear communication.
FLETCH
I think they like it better when you’re not talking at all…if you know what I mean *smirking face emoji*
Unless you’re a bad kisser, then maybe stick with the talking.
DAWSON
Talk first, kiss later.
COOPER
What he said.
ME
Gotta run, we’re going on a group hike. I’ll report back after.
HAYDEN
Stay away from cliffsides!