Chapter 26
Iwas losing my mind. Everywhere I looked, I caught glimpses of red lips, dark hair, a knowing smile. Avery wasn’t there. I knew she wasn’t in the arena because she’d told me she had to work late on an article. Again.
The knowledge didn’t stop me from searching for her anyway.
With a silent curse, I wrenched my attention away from the stands. The puck hit the boards with a crack as I missed Reece’s pass. Kane flew past me to recover in a blur of royal blue, flanked by one of his defensemen. I’d never been as fucked as I was now.
My split-second loss of focus while my eyes flicked to the people watching was costing us this game.
I dug my blades into the ice and pushed off as hard as I could, sprinting to catch up to Easton’s right winger. My timing could have been better, but not by much. I intercepted the puck as he passed it, only to be smashed into the glass by Kane, the intended recipient.
“Asshole,” I ground out.
Kane gave me an extra shove, close enough I could smell garlic on his breath. “Where’s your girl today? She decide she belongs to Easton after all?”
I shoved him away from me, fully intending to lay him out on the ice, but the buzzer went off ending the period.
He grinned and held his hands up. “Bet she’s a freak in bed. Coach’s daughters always are when they’re slumming it with the players.”
I knew it was a mistake, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. “What the fuck would you know?”
“I know she has a birthmark on her inner thigh. Want to compare stories?”
My gloves hit the ice, and I snarled as I started toward him. Mase appeared from nowhere and blocked my way with both hands on my chest.
“Save it for the game,” he grumbled, shifting to stay between us.
I ground my teeth and reined in the scorching fury demanding I destroy this asshole for talking about Avery as if she ever let him close enough to see her birthmark. Mase pushed on my shoulder to point me toward our bench. He was right. Both teams were clearing the ice, and I’d be kicked from the game if I went after Kane now.
Once the game started again, though, I was going to level his ass at the first opportunity. Rage and frustration clouded my thoughts, and I barely made it into the locker room before I was surrounded by my roommates.
“Mathis, get your head out of her ass and focus,” Reece gritted at me. He squeezed water into his mouth, shaking droplets of sweat off his hair.
Mase left me with the others to do his usual private time between periods. I was grateful for his interference, but I’d save the thanks for later. He needed this time to get his head right as much as I did.
Gavin sank onto the bench in front of his locker and crossed his arms. “We’re playing good defense, but we need to score. Cole, whatever’s going on in your head, deal with it. We have one more game after this against Easton to make the Frozen Four, and I want you solid.”
I paced back and forth in front of him. “Kane won’t shut his mouth.”
Reece stepped in my way. “Since when do you let shit-talking assholes get to you? Smile and let it go, then cram the puck down his throat. Unless he’s not really the problem…”
We stared at each other for a long beat, and I gave in. “I think Avery’s avoiding me.”
He rolled his eyes. “I knew it. You let her have all the power and now you’re fucked.”
Gavin frowned. “What the hell, Reece?”
Reece threw his hands up. “Ask him. I’m clearly not qualified to give relationship advice.” He stomped off to harass Sellers on the other side of the room.
Gavin shifted his gaze to me with a lifted brow. “Do we need to talk about this now?”
“No.” I ground my teeth together as the lie twisted in my stomach. “Yes.”
“Talk,” Gavin ordered.
I sat next to him and lowered my voice. “Avery has been busy the last couple of weeks, and we’ve only managed three tutoring sessions.” I held up a hand when I saw him start to interrupt. “My grade is fine. We got ahead before the semester started, though I’m going to need to work my ass off after the season’s done.”
“Why is this affecting you now?”
“It’s been building. All I want to do is be with her, and I thought she felt the same way. When she’s with me, she’s all the way with me. When we’re apart though, I feel like there’s a wall between us.”
Gavin nodded. “And you want the wall gone.”
“Yeah. I want to stop hiding. I want her out there in the stands wearing my name. I want to be able to kiss her after the game without worrying who might see us. I want a future with her.”
“Even though the relationship could cost you a spot on the team next year?”
I leaned back and let out my breath in a rush. The truth came so easily. “Yes. She’s worth it. If Coach can’t see how much I love her, then he doesn’t deserve either of us.”
Gavin rubbed his jaw, looking pained. “I hate to say this, but there’s nothing you can do except talk to her. If she’s pulling back, she has a reason. Find out what it is and deal with it together. Which is not something you can do during our conference playoffs. Talk to her tonight. Even if she tries to blow you off, get stubborn. For now, put her aside and get your mind on the game.”
I definitely should have talked to Gavin weeks ago instead of gaslighting myself into believing nothing was wrong. He and Reece had been picking up my slack, and they deserved better than I was giving them.
“Kane keeps bringing her up.”
“Fuck him.” Gavin motioned Reece back over. “He’s expecting you to be distracted, so let’s use it. Play into the narrative.”
Reece nodded. “Yeah, if he thinks you’re not paying attention, he’ll stick close. Draw him away from us. Gavin can fake a pass to you, and I can get us on the board.”
“It’s a better plan than expecting Mase to save our asses all night.”
We brainstormed for the rest of intermission, and I felt the difference when I took the ice for the second period. Avery still lurked in the back of my mind, but I had to focus on playing my role.
Less than a minute later, we saw our opportunity. Betterman, our lead dman, got the puck away from Easton’s left winger in our zone, and it sailed toward me. Kane was right behind me with the rest of his team coming in fast.
They thought I’d fuck up the play, so they weren’t bothering to cover the rest of my team. I let my eyes drift to the crowd for a split second as the puck passed my stick, then kicked it away from Kane behind the net.
Reece dug the puck out of the wall and shot it to Gavin, who took off while Kane and his buddies were busy with me. They realized too late Gavin was on a breakaway, and their goalie wasn’t nearly as good as ours.
Kane let out a curse behind me as the buzzer sounded a goal.
The rest of the game became a grudge match, but Easton couldn’t rally. At the end of the third period, with seconds left on the clock, the puck flew my direction on a pass to Kane near the wall in the neutral zone.
I had the chance to intercept, but I let it go. Gavin whistled from behind me, and I knew I had the go ahead. The second the puck touched his stick, I hit full speed and slammed my shoulder into him. Kane went flying with a satisfying crunch, and Gavin scooped up the puck to finish out the game.
Reece skated over to Kane as he came to his knees and patted his back, saying something too low for me to hear. Our bench unloaded onto the ice, and I was quickly surrounded by my team. For the best since the fury was still smoldering in my chest.
I accepted the congratulations, but all I wanted was to get home and find Avery.
To my surprise,Avery was waiting for me in my bed when I got there. She wasn’t naked, but I’d take yoga pants and her laptop over not having her at all any day.
“I thought you had to work on an article.” Not the best beginning if I wanted to show her I was happy to see her.
She raised a brow and pointed at her laptop. “I am. I can go…”
I shook my head and faceplanted next to her. “For the record, I never want you to go.”
A muffled quack sounded from under the bed, followed by a flustered duck popping out from her hiding spot. She waddled to the door and let out another shorter quack, which meant her peons needed to let her out immediately.
I groaned, and Avery laughed under her breath before setting her laptop on the nightstand. “I’ve got her.”
With our intruder now someone else’s problem, Avery tilted her head at me. “Rough game?”
“You could say that,” I uttered. “We won, but we have to do it again tomorrow.”
“I know,” she said softly, coming up to the side of the bed. “I wasn’t going to come over tonight, but I think we need to talk.”
Dread sank in my gut. Before she could say anything else, I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her under me. Relief cooled some of the fear when she sighed and snuggled closer.
“I missed you,” she murmured.
This was where she belonged. The truth seemed so obvious to me when she fit perfectly in my arms, but I needed to convince her of that fact.
I kissed her forehead, determined to ease into telling her how I felt. “I love when you’re waiting for me after my games.”
“What happened tonight? I saw that hit on Kane.”
“He was running his mouth, and I was letting him get to me,” I explained, nuzzling her neck.
“Really? I’d think you’d be used to the taunting by now,” she teased.
“I haven’t seen my girlfriend more than a handful of times the last few weeks, and I’ve been a frustrated asshole to everyone but you. He kept hammering the sore point.” I knew my mistake immediately, but it was too late to claw the words back. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to. I wasn’t great at subtle on the best of days, so the direct approach would have to do.
Avery jerked back. “Your girlfriend?”
Time to go all in. “Yes, my girlfriend. And one day my fiancée and my wife. That’s what I want—a life with you that doesn’t involve us hiding in the shadows until the right time.”
“But this isn’t the right time.”
“It will never be the right time, Avery, but we can deal with the repercussions together. Your dad, the class, the team, none of it is as important to me as you are.”
Her hand flattened over my heart. “Cole, this was exactly what my dad warned me about.”
It was my turn to jerk back. “He warned you?”
“Yes. He wanted you focused on hockey instead of fleeting distractions.”
“You are not a fleeting distraction. You are my future. Can you trust me to know the difference?”
“No.” The world came crashing down around me as her denial sliced into my chest. “Cole, there’s no reason to push this now. If we just wait?—”
I cut her off. “I’m done waiting. Either you want me or you don’t, Avery.”
Her fingers closed, bunching my shirt as if holding me in place. “It’s not that simple.”
Just like that, I felt my hope slipping away. I knew the easy answer would be to give in and let her keep pretending we weren’t it for each other, but I couldn’t do it. Time wasn’t the answer. Avery had to take a leap of faith, and she might never be ready to jump with me.