Chapter 39 Jordan #2
I crinkle my face once more. “How do I know what?”
“How do you know you’re horrible in bed?”
My pulse thrums in my ears. Her hand, still resting on my thigh, grounds me as the room feels suddenly void of every bit of air I’m trying to breathe in.
“Well…I’m…” I clear my throat, “I’m an athlete.
We perform. We’re told if we’re good or bad or what to improve on.
We don’t question it. We work hard and train harder to get better, stronger, faster.
I guess I figured if she said I was bad, she was right.
Add to the fact that it was my first time…
what else am I supposed to think?” I shrug, pursing my lips together.
“What if she was wrong?” Her gaze shifts, as if she’s speaking to something inside of me and not the external persona she’s seen. “I can’t imagine someone like you, who puts their all into every aspect of their life, being bad at anything.”
My heart skips a beat—a beat that makes me question everything I’ve ever thought about myself. “I…I don’t know. I guess I never thought about it.”
“Did you think it was bad? Did it feel good to you at all?”
Is this woman a pilot or a therapist? My stomach is twisted into a thousand knots, but…goddammit, she’s asking me every question I’ve been too afraid to ask myself. “I mean, obviously it felt good, but it…it didn’t feel right. I don’t know; that probably doesn’t make any sense.”
“It does.” Her reassurance, once again, was a welcome surprise during this weird-ass conversation. “Sex is a release; it’s meant to feel good. But I think when there’s an emotional connection, it can be so much more.”
Heat creeps up my neck. My dick is having a really hard time controlling himself right now, between talking about sex and her fucking hand rubbing circles on my thigh.
I don’t want her to stop. I want her—badly.
But I’m scared to let myself go there. Not until I know she’s one hundred percent in this for me.
Not for fake dating. Not for a release. Not for one night.
I want this to be real. Tonight gives me hope—but not certainty.
She yawns and, like clockwork, one slips from me, the chaos of the day finally wearing us down.
I look at my phone and see it’s two in the morning.
Fuck. And seeing the date, I realize I have a commitment tomorrow…
er…today actually. Double fuck. This is one thing I can’t half-ass either.
Maybe this is a way to keep showing her the real me.
“It’s been a long day. I think we both could use some rest. I’m actually meeting up with a friend later and can’t cancel, so I should probably sleep.”
“Oh. Okay.” Her lips purse as she reluctantly nods, her eyes dropping to the floor.
Is she disappointed I have plans, or that we have to stop talking? My fingers twist in my lap, guilt setting in either way. Hopefully, my idea will make it up to her.
“I was actually wondering if…if you’d like to join me? I’d love for you to meet them, and it might be a nice way to get our minds off all this.”
She flashes a tired smile, a flicker of something I’m too scared to believe in her gaze. “I’d like that. You sure I’m not imposing?”
“Promise. I’ll need to run home in the morning to change clothes, but I’ll be back here around ten to pick you up, if that works.”
“Just one question,” she asks, playfully drawing out the words. “What do I wear for this mystery date?”
My eyes widen. “I never said it was a date.”
“What if I want it to be?”
My lips curl, my dick fighting not to follow at the thought of taking her out sometime. “I’ll take you on a real date. And not some stuffy restaurant where they fill the water after you take one sip. It’ll be the most perfect date you’ve ever been on.”
“That’s quite the declaration there, Richy Rich.” She snorts.
I wink as I stand, offering her my hand to pull her up beside me. “Go get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Kennedy tilts her head. “Jordan, I have a giant king-sized bed. Why don’t you just sleep in there with me?”
“Just need a pillow, and I see a blanket right there. I’m all set,” I say, still holding her hand in mine. “But, how about a goodnight kiss?”
She smiles and steps closer, but doesn’t fully close the distance between us.
And for the first time since I’ve met Kennedy Kramer, I feel brave enough to step forward, cupping her cheek and leaning down to kiss the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met.
She loops her arms around my neck, pulling me in closer, deepening not only the kiss, but this connection.
She presses flush against me, and I feel her body rubbing against my erection through my pants.
We both moan at the thought of where this could go.
But my mind gets the better of me again, and I take a step back.
Her lips are flushed and swollen. My hands flinch around her waist using every inch of my willpower to not pull her in for more.
But when I’m with someone again, I want it to be forever.
I’m just not sure we’re there yet.
“Are you sure you won’t join me in bed?” she says with a wry smile.
“I would, but I don’t think you could resist me. Goodnight, Kennedy.”