11. Clara
CLARA
Everything in my life was falling apart.
I sank down against the bathroom door, tears streaming down my face as I mourned what used to be my marriage. The man I married had changed so much that I hardly recognized him, and the more I tried to make myself happy, the worse our relationship became.
How the hell was I supposed to live my life like this? Did other couples deal with the same thing?
I held out my hand, looking at the simple rings that adorned my left hand. The band was gold, with no diamonds or anything, and the engagement ring was a tiny diamond that I fell in love with the moment he slid it on my finger.
Back then, he didn’t have two dimes to his name. This ranch was everything to him, and though he didn’t have much, his love was more than enough for me. I didn’t even want the damn diamond, but the moment he slid it on my finger, the pride in his eyes told me everything I needed to know.
Ben was a good man.
I knew the moment I met him that my life would never be the same.
He just had that way about him, a strong confidence, yet a willingness to bend for me.
He was so much more than all the men my parents wanted to shove at me.
If it were up to them, I would have been married off long ago to some rich man who could lay the world at my feet.
But I didn’t want the whole world. I only wanted this small slice of heaven with the man I loved. And for years, it had been enough.
Like all things in life, God threw us a curveball that irrevocably changed our lives, and while I could move with the times, Ben was stuck in the past, unable to live with the fact that the ranch was no longer what his father had built.
It tore him apart from the inside out, twisting the man I loved into a grump who couldn’t live with the changes upon us.
And it was tearing us to shreds.
Nothing I said or did could help heal the wounds in his soul. To him, he’d let down his entire family. The ranch was no longer what generations before him had intended. He was the man who let it all fall apart.
But what he didn’t see was all that we still had.
We were blessed to have not lost the land, to still have a roof over our heads, and to have a healthy family with new generations being born.
Our blessings were overflowing. We still had our health, a roof over our heads, our children were flourishing, and that should have been enough.
I swiped the tears from my cheeks and pushed off the floor, then stared at myself in the mirror.
I was tired of being the woman who cried over her husband, who held everything together, forgoing her own happiness.
I’d made a start, doing what was best for me, but maybe it was time for a bigger change.
I wasn’t sure I was ready for that, or if it was even what I wanted, but I knew I was tired of living a half life. Five years of watching my husband morph into someone I hardly knew was wearing on me, and if things didn’t turn around soon, I wasn’t sure they ever would.
I did my wifely duties the next morning, ensuring my husband had a hearty breakfast that would keep him fulfilled while I went into town to run some errands.
After I grudgingly told him breakfast was ready, I headed upstairs and put on some cooler clothes.
The temperature was already climbing outside, making this one of the hottest summers in Montana that I’d ever lived through.
Since winters were unbearably rough most years, the heat was a blessed escape.
“Headed somewhere?” Ben asked from his seat in the kitchen as I put on my shoes.
“Just picking up some groceries in town. Is there anything you need?”
He grunted in response, giving me the same frosty reception I gave him. With nothing else to say, I headed into town and did my best to leave my troubles on the ranch.
Blake had mentioned that she would be visiting Sam at his gym this morning, so I decided to stop in and say hi.
Sam was already in the ring, bouncing around on his toes as his opponent swung at him.
He dodged and bobbed around, but every time a fist went near his face, I cringed, hoping the hit didn’t make contact.
I didn’t know how Blake handled this. I couldn’t stand to see anyone I loved injured, and even though it was a sport, every hit was like a knife to the chest.
“Clara! Hey, come on over!” Blake grinned, catching her daughter Rosie before she ran into the ring.
She swung Rosie up into her arms and met me halfway, but my granddaughter nearly leapt out of her arms to get to me. I caught her just before she would have fallen to the ground.
“My little Rosie Posey. How are you today?”
“Good!” she grinned, clasping her hands around my neck and laying a big smacker on my cheek.
“Aww, thank you so much!”
“I watch Unca!”
“Yeah,” I laughed. “He’s practicing, huh?”
She nodded enthusiastically, already wiggling to get out of my arms. “I gonna be a boxer, too!”
Setting her down, she ran flat out for the ring, reaching to get to the mat, and climb in to see her uncle. Luckily, she wasn’t quite tall enough to get in on her own.
“She’s a handful,” I laughed as Sam put a halt to the fight just so he could say hi to his niece.
“She is, and Sam loves her so much. I think my other brothers are jealous of his relationship with her.”
“Well, then I guess they’ll have to move here as well.”
Blake barked out a laugh at that. “Fat chance. I don’t think they could handle the cold.”
“Well, I’m glad we have at least one of your brothers here.”
“So, what brings you to town?”
“Just some shopping. Nothing too exciting.”
“Krista said you went to an art show yesterday. How was that?”
I thought back to Ben’s reaction when I walked in the house, and held back the grimace that threatened to spill across my face. “It was great—nice to get away from town.”
From the look on her face, I hadn’t fooled her. “Uh-oh. Do I smell trouble?”
“Nothing like that.”
“You know, when Michael gets on my nerves, I just toss him through a window.”
Blake always had a way of making me laugh at the worst of times. “Well, I don’t think I have the strength to push Ben through a window.”
“That’s just because you don’t know how to do it. Come on.”
Before I could protest, she tugged me over to the ring, pulled my purse off my shoulder, and was tugging me through the ropes.
“Really, I don’t even know how to punch!”
“That’s why we’re going to teach you,” she grinned.
“But this isn’t for me. Really, I…” My words were lost as she tugged a pair of boxing gloves over my hands. I stood there helplessly in a summer dress, in the middle of a boxing ring, looking like a complete idiot.
“Alright, now, the first thing you need to do is learn how to correctly throw a punch.”
“Honestly, when would I ever need to know this?”
“Oh, I’m sure there will come a time,” she grinned.
I didn’t believe her, but I let her position my body, take me through the motions, and teach me how to use my strength to maximize all my energy. It was interesting, but seriously, what would all of this do for me?
“Okay, now, take everything I just told you and slam your fist into the pad Sam’s holding.”
Sighing, I held up my fists and got into position. “This is ridiculous.”
“It is not. Now come on! Let’s do this!”
Sam was smirking at me, nearly taunting me with that charming smile. I didn’t want to punch him. In fact, I didn’t want to punch anyone. But I went through everything Blake said and I landed a hit right on the mat.
“There you go! That was awesome!” Blake cheered. “Another!”
I slammed my fist into the pad again, and again. My shoulders ached and my muscles—what little I had— contracted with every hit, but it felt amazing. I had never worked my body like this.
And even though sweat ran down my spine and heat flushed my face, I had never felt so good, so alive before.
Shaking out my hands, I grinned at Sam as he pulled off my glove. “Thank you. That was…amazing.”
“I know. You’re a natural.”
I laughed at that. “I don’t know about a natural, but it did feel good.”
“You should come back here. Blake can teach you more.”
“Oh, I would never—”
“Yes! I can put together a class for you. Ooh, and you can get some friends together. We can do a morning class!”
“Really?” A grin spread across my face, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. It sounded too good to be true.
“Honestly, I would love it. I’ve been spending too much time on cases and not enough time in the gym. It’ll give me a workout.”
“Well, probably not what you’re used to.”
“Trust me, there’s a lot more to boxing than just throwing punches. We can do little workouts every day, and then throw in some lessons here and there. It’ll be so much fun!”
Her enthusiasm over it was certainly appealing, and it did feel great to do something other than wrestle dough on the counter. “Alright, I accept. I’ll see who I can get to join us. Let me grab my phone. You can help me send out a group text thingy.”
She spread the ropes so I could climb through, then jumped down and held my hand so I didn’t fall on my face. Honestly, just those few punches made me a little shaky. I really wasn’t in very good shape.
I grabbed my phone and pulled up the messages app, but that was as far as I could go. “Now what?”
Chuckling, she took the phone from me. “Here, I’ll get the message going and you can help me add the contacts.”
I watched carefully as she went through the process. It seemed simple enough, and by the time we were done, we had sent messages to nearly all the women in town who I thought might be interested in a class.
“So, what do I need to wear to something like this?”
“Well, you’ll need something you can work out in. So, some shorts or yoga pants. Maybe a tank top and a sports bra?”
I didn’t have anything like that. “Hmm. I suppose a trip to the city is needed.”
“Well, you’re in luck because Miss Rosie and I are free for the day. We can go with you.”
“Perfect, because I have no idea what yoga pants are.”
She laughed, but the reality was that I lived in my own world for so long that things like this were newfangled ideas instead of trends that had been around for years.
But I was done living in my bubble. I was ready to conquer the world.
Well, at least my little town in Montana.