12. Ben
BEN
“Clara!” I shouted, wiping the sweat from my brow as I stalked around the house in search of my wife.
She’d been absent more and more recently, leaving after she made my breakfast, and then sneaking into the house in the middle of the day.
I never knew where she went, and since tensions were so high between us, I tried not to get in her way or say anything that might push her over the edge.
The last thing I wanted was for my meals to stop appearing at the appropriate times.
That can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew had hardly been appealing.
“Where is your mother?” I asked Liam as I strode back out into the construction zone.
“She’s in town.”
“Every damn day,” I muttered under my breath. “For two weeks, I haven’t seen hide nor hair of her except when I go to bed.”
His face twisted in confusion. “Don’t you talk to her?”
I ducked my head, not wanting to admit things were less than stellar between us. “Not lately.”
“Why?”
“We got into it, alright?” I rummaged through my tools, hoping he would end the conversation there, but instead, he just plowed through the invisible barrier I erected.
“Got into it over what? What could you possibly be mad at Ma for?”
“You know, she’s not as perfect as you all think,” I snapped, spinning around to glare at him.
“Nobody’s perfect, but it’s also not like the two of you to fight to the point that you’re not speaking.”
“Yeah, well, times change.”
Instead of dropping it, my boy forged ahead, angering me further. “Times do not just change. Pop, you’ve been going through a lot of shit, but whatever you did, you need to fix it.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault, right?”
“I’ve been married long enough to know that when Bailey’s pissed, it’s usually my fault. Most of the time, over something I didn’t even realize I did. And I don’t always understand it, but I do know that ignoring Ma and not talking to her is not going to solve the problems you’re having.”
“Thanks for the pep talk, son, but when I want your advice, I’ll give it to you.”
He scoffed, shaking his head at me. “This is just like you. No wonder she’s in town instead of here.”
I didn’t want to know. Well, I wanted to know, but I didn’t want to ask. How was it that my son knew more about my wife than I did? Was she talking to him? Was she telling him all the things she was doing, all the while giving me the cold shoulder?
I couldn’t stand not knowing, and worse, I hated that I was left in the dark on purpose. “Fine. Tell me what the hell she’s been up to.”
“I’m not sure I can tell you.”
“What?”
“I mean, I think it’s something you need to see.”
That didn’t make me feel better. In fact, it worried me. I had to see it? Was she climbing buildings? Baking in the town bakery? That would explain why there was no fresh bread at home for me.
So, I got in the truck and headed into town with my son, all the while imagining all the things my wife could be doing that she wouldn’t bother to tell me about.
“It’s not right,” I muttered under my breath.
“What’s not?”
“The fact that you know what’s going on, but I don’t.”
He glanced over at me from the driver’s seat. “Pop, what’s going on with you? It’s not like you to be so distant with Ma.”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Things haven’t been right between us for a while. I tried talking to her and making things better, but all I did was piss her off.”
“Yeah, we tend to do that. Did you bother to ask her what’s making her mad?”
I shook my head. “Son, I’m not sure there’s a single thing I’m doing that’s not making her mad.
I’m doing what she asked of me. I’m building her damn addition.
I even went to find her to show her the progress, but she’s not around.
It’s like she doesn’t even care about it.
Which I really don’t understand since she’s the one who told me she wanted it! ”
“Maybe it’s not about the addition.”
“Her anger or her general lack of caring for my well-being?”
“That’s hitting a little below the belt, don’t you think? She’s spent her entire life taking care of us.”
“I’m aware,” I grumbled. But when I tried to connect with her anymore, she just wasn’t there.
Every night, she was asleep before I got in bed. And if I tried to go to sleep early so I could be with her, she said she wasn’t tired and left the room. There was no winning with her. I couldn’t make things better if she kept leaving whenever I was around.
“Why are we at Sam’s gym?” I asked as we pulled in front of it.
“You’ll see.”
I followed him to the door, but going inside, something tugged at me, telling me I didn’t want to know what was really going on. And the moment I stepped through the doors, I knew my gut was right.
She was in the ring with gloves on and a facemask to protect herself, but I’d recognize that body anywhere.
Well, it was definitely different than it used to be.
Her soft spots were starting to thin out, and her legs…
If I thought they were sexy before, they were amazing now.
Muscles were starting to form not only in those shapely calves, but also in her arms. If she kept at whatever she was doing around here, it wouldn’t be long before my soft wife became a powerhouse woman like her daughter-in-law, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.
I loved my wife the way she was. I didn’t want her to change. Didn’t she realize that every inch of her was a representation of the life we shared? It was like she was trying to do away with anything that made her who she was.
“Do you see this?” Jack Lawson asked as he strode up beside me in a huff.
I tore my eyes off my wife for all of five seconds, which was long enough to notice there were other women scattered around the ring.
Women from town.
And then I followed Jack’s gaze to the other end of the ring where a whole host of women were doing some kind of exercise.
“What in the hell are they doing?” I muttered.
“It’s called exercise, Pop,” Liam chuckled. “The women in town have been getting together for the past two weeks to work out.”
“Work out what?”
It might have been a stupid question, but I was having a seriously hard time understanding what was going on here. And why was it that Liam knew what was happening, but I didn’t have a clue?
And then I saw it.
Bailey strode across the space with her son on her hip as she laughed at something my wife shouted to her from the ring.
Blake was here as well, and she seemed to be leading the group of women in some sort of strange exercise where the women bent over with their asses in the air.
And then they twisted, raising one leg in the air.
“They’re gonna break their hips,” I snapped.
“Pop, none of them are old ladies. Well, Mrs. Abernathy is, but I doubt you really care what she’s doing.”
I turned to my son, scowling hard. “You let your mother come here and do this every day?”
“Let?” He barked out a laugh like this whole thing was hilarious. “Pop, I don’t let Ma do anything. In case you haven’t noticed, she’s a grown woman and does whatever the hell she likes.”
“Well, not for long,” I snapped.
But just as I stalked forward, my son grabbed my arm and hauled me back a step. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“But—”
“She’s doing this for herself. You have to realize that.”
“Doing what? Why the hell does she need to be in that ring? Give me one damn good reason, and I’ll back off!”
“Because it makes her feel good!” he practically shouted.
For just a second, it felt like the whole gym went quiet. In actuality, it was like his words echoed around me, landing poignantly in the center of my chest, knocking the air from my lungs.
This was what she wanted? This made her feel good? I didn’t understand it. She was in a ring, throwing her fists around. How the hell did that give her something I couldn’t?
But as my gaze settled on her again, I had to admit that she wasn’t half bad. Clearly, someone had been training her, and that someone was Blake, if my eyes weren’t playing games with me.
I just didn’t understand it. What inspired all these women to gather in town at the gym and do this…stuff? Surely, they had better things to do with their time.
Like be near me.
That was the real problem, though I didn’t care to admit it. Clara had moved on from our life together, and was finding other things to do that didn’t include me. She was no longer at my beck and call. She wasn’t waiting for me at lunchtime or fussing over me the moment I walked through the door.
She was taking care of herself now, and as much as I hated to admit it, it was good for her.
I turned on my heel, not wanting to intrude on her time away. If that was what she needed, then I’d give it to her, even if it did make me feel like I was missing half my heart.
“Pop, where are you going?”
“Home.”
“But—”
“Your mother is busy, and I have work to do,” I grumbled, not wanting to admit to my son that I was not wanted here.
If I was, my wife would have told me where she was going. She would have shared this new hobby with me. But instead, she kept it to herself, and that said more about the state of our relationship than I cared to admit.
It was good for her, that much was clear.
Now, I just had to figure out how my life functioned without my wife catering to my every whim. Without her by my side at all times.
She was pulling away, and soon, I would be nothing more than another trinket on the shelf.