Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
Golden light the same color as the champagne that JJ and I had been drinking the night before blazed through my bedroom window, waking me.
The sun had just started rising as I’d fallen asleep, but that hadn’t kept me up like the intense beams now roasting my closed eyelids.
I was so tired, it felt like I’d slept only as long as it took for me to roll from one side of my bed to the other.
But my clock told me that six hours had passed, and that I was running late to meet my friends for brunch.
Only the thought of the maple-glazed bacon and crispy skillet potatoes at Sofie’s Café gave me the motivation to haul myself out of bed.
There would be no shower because I couldn’t be late for the first time I was seeing my girls since Sugar’s July cover party a month and a half ago.
I threw on timeworn jeans with faded thighs, a crumpled vintage Metallica T-shirt, and flip-flops; then I grabbed my new Louis Vuitton crossbody and shambled to the elevator.
I was already in a taxi before I realized that I’d forgotten to brush my teeth or comb my hair.
Sofie hadn’t taken any of my calls, so I was surprised when I got the message that she and the girls wanted to meet at her café for brunch.
Though I’d managed to get Teresa and Denyse on the phone since the party, they’d made excuses to end the conversation after a few minutes.
My friends had never been this mad at me before, but my schedule of twelve-hour workdays followed by near-nightly dinners and parties made it easier to ignore.
Von was still bringing me invitations to sexy events every day; if I wasn’t invited to something, JJ was, so there was nowhere that we couldn’t or didn’t go.
Since the rumors that JJ and I were seeing each other had already been confirmed at the Sugar party, we no longer made it a point to arrive and leave separately.
And I stopped caring what people thought—even though I knew that hanging out with JJ put me in the same category as an uncomfortable number of music video dancers and other random hangers-on.
We never talked about the status of our “thing,” and the nights started to blur together in a haze of dance floors, drunken sex, and way too little sleep.
I was getting sucked into a fever dream that was unlike anything I’d ever experienced, while my former life seemed less and less familiar.
I leaned my head against the worn leather seat and closed my eyes as TLC’s “Unpretty” came on the radio, the lyrics hitting home in a new way.
When the taxi turned down Grand Street and pulled up in front of Sofie’s Café, I realized how long it had been since I’d been here.
I stopped before opening the café door, listening to the DJ mix ’80s disco hits and willing my body to relax before I faced the music inside.
Sofie had cleared the entire back half of her café for us, no small feat at peak brunch time on a weekend.
Teresa met me near the door and enveloped me in a silent hug, then led me to a circular table, where Denyse was already sitting.
The table and surrounding area had been cordoned off from the rest of the café by a dense line of chairs.
Denyse remained seated as I approached, her eyes widening at my bedraggled appearance.
“What in the actual hell?” she exclaimed, ignoring Teresa’s not-so-subtle headshake. “What? She looks awful.” Denyse turned back to me, unabashedly looking me up and down. “When is the last time you slept? And why does your hair look like there might be some twigs lodged in there somewhere?”
Denyse reflexively smoothed her own neat bob.
Among my girls, she’d been the one with the most appreciation for my straightened hair.
My wearing it curly again seemed to add to her impression that urban music and publishing was one big den of iniquity.
In fairness, my coif was looking extra chaotic this morning.
“Let her be, Denyse,” Teresa chimed in, always ready to defend my hair at its most unruly. But then she leaned in to sniff my shoulder and her nose wrinkled. “But why do you smell like a nightclub bathroom? You’re giving off booze, smoke, and despair.”
I was desperate for a cup of coffee so I could be fully awake for the drubbing I was apparently going to receive.
“Well, hello to you too,” I croaked, looking around and catching the eye of my favorite waiter.
After I pantomimed pouring a cup of coffee followed by prayer hands, he gave me a thumbs-up and went off to get me my usual double-shot latte.
“I was out super late last night or, rather, this morning,” I admitted.
“So yeah, I rolled out of bed and came directly here.”
“Um, no shit,” Denyse deadpanned.
“Oh, leave her ass alone,” I heard from behind me, and turned to see Sofie gracefully winding her way around the line of forbidding chairs.
As we all took in her satin baby-blue Enyce tracksuit, pink high-tops, and blond cornrows, Sofie laughed.
“I’m going to be an extra in WhiteHot’s music video shoot later,” she told us, although her outfit wasn’t that different from her normal look.
Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed her. My emotions bubbled up as a loud exclamation: “Sof!” I ran over and wrapped her in a strong hug that must have smelled unpleasant. “I’m so sorry, Sofie,” I whispered, holding her tight.
“All right, all right,” Sofie said as she pried my arms from around her waist. “Let’s go sit and talk it out.”
The waiter had placed my coffee at the seat next to Denyse, but Sofie moved it to the other side of the table. She and Teresa clustered near Denyse, leaving my seat with a suspicious amount of space around it.
“Is this an intervention or what?” I asked, my voice rising. The last thing I wanted was a pile on from my closest friends after the tough workweek I’d just survived.
The three of them glanced at one another sheepishly. Then Teresa piped up. “Not an intervention, Nik. But we need to know what is going on with you.”
Seeing that this would be a two-latte brunch, I downed my coffee and pointed to my cup so the waiter would bring me some more. I drank my second while we ordered our food, waiting until our menus had been cleared to launch into a caffeine-fueled declamation.
“Okay, I know that party was an awful situation, but I seriously didn’t know what to do.
My boss was in my ear about how much we needed RedHot at the party, and she literally ordered me to ask WhiteHot to leave.
You guys know I would have never done that otherwise, but I was up against a wall.
That event had to be a success, or it might have been my job.
” I said all of that with one breath, then braced for their reaction.
When none of them said anything, I added, “I really am sorry.”
“What are you sorry for, Nikki?” Sofie finally asked, disapproval chasing any warmth or mercy from her tone.
“For kicking my man out of your party because he’s apparently not famous enough for you and Sugar?
For not saying anything when your boss dissed him?
Or for being part of a culture that only respects knuckleheads and not real artists? ”
Sofie’s words were a knife in my side. “I mean, I’m still trying to understand this whole world, Sof. I would never diss your man.”
“But you did,” Teresa chimed in. “And it was so unlike you that now we’re all concerned.”
“Yeah, you know we love you, but you haven’t exactly been sitting at home sad for the past few weeks.” Denyse’s judgmental tone was really starting to get on my nerves.
My annoyance must have been visible on my face because Teresa quickly added, “Don’t be upset, Nikki …
but you did stay at that party all night, right?
And you’ve called us maybe once or twice since, on your way to another party or in between meetings.
I mean, these are not the actions of someone who is particularly contrite.
” Teresa’s comments stung more than Sofie’s angry questions and Denyse’s cool observations.
“You guys didn’t want to talk to me,” I exclaimed. “So I gave up and focused on dealing with the stress of my new job and my crazy boss at my failing company that I have a little over three months left to save.”
“You’ve also been preoccupied with your fancy apartment and your shiesty new friend, Kiara, your shiesty new man, JJ, and your … standing in this shiesty new world,” Teresa flung back.
Thinking about how different her attitude had been toward JJ the night of my move and feeling defensive of Kiara, I snapped, “Are you serious right now? Why does everyone and everything in my ‘new world’ have to be shiesty?” I looked directly into Teresa’s eyes.
“And you of all people know that Alonzo has been talking shit about me for years, and he made sure my reputation was a mess before I’d even moved into my new office. ”
“And you decided to handle it by partying until dawn with sketchy dudes and ignoring your real friends?” Denyse interrupted.
“Again, you guys haven’t wanted to talk to me, remember?
Every time I tried, you would all make excuses to sign off.
Except you, Sofie, since you wouldn’t even pick up when I called.
” I pressed my lips together so they wouldn’t quiver.
“I really feel like you guys aren’t even trying to hear me right now. ”
I’d lost my appetite, so when our food arrived, I could only watch my friends tuck into their eggs and French toast while I nibbled on a piece of bacon. Mimosas arrived for all of us, but my stomach flipped over at the thought of drinking any more champagne.
“Wait, what do you mean by ‘I have three months to save Sugar’?” Sofie asked.