Chapter 15 Asia
I didn’t understand how this was happening.
How did I go from being a woman who was dead set against the prospect of talking to another man to becoming Nyree’s girlfriend? And enjoying it?
Maybe I needed to get my head checked because something had to be wrong.
How were we moving so fast but it didn’t feel wrong?
No matter how hard my mind fought against it, my heart was settled on Nyree.
And it terrified me.
Whoever said you can’t choose who you fall for was telling God’s honest truth because here I was with this man who came into my life out of nowhere.
It had been over a month since we got together and it still felt right.
My mind was boggled.
The evening sun cast long shadows as Nyree and I strolled through Grady Park, our conversation flowing easily like it always did.
It had been that way since the beginning – this effortless connection that defied explanation.
We had spent nearly every day together over the past month, yet I still got butterflies when he reached for my hand.
“How’s your girl Bella doing?” Nyree suddenly asked, causing me to misstep. I corrected my stride, a wave of guilt passing through me.
A whole damn month and I still hadn’t told my best friend about me and Nyree. Meanwhile, she talked my ear off about Blake every chance she got.
I wasn’t shit and I knew it.
“She’s good,” I said, before too much time passed. “She’s um… dating your boy Blake. But you already know that right?”
Nyree shrugged. “Naw, me and Blake are cool but we don’t talk all the time.”
“Oh. Okay.” I was suddenly grateful for that piece of information but didn’t know why.
Nyree stared at me like he wanted to say something but I turned back toward the parking lot before he could.
"We should probably head back," I said, glancing at the darkening sky. "I've got an early meeting tomorrow."
He nodded in agreement. As we walked back to his car, I couldn't help stealing glances at his profile. How had this man come to mean so much to me in such a short time?
The drive to my apartment was quiet, not uncomfortable but charged with something unspoken. Nyree kept one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on my thigh, his touch warm through my jeans. My body hummed with awareness, the attraction between us steadily brewing.
When he pulled up outside my building, I knew I should just thank him for the evening and go inside. That would be the sensible thing to do. The Asia from before I met him would have maintained boundaries and protected her heart.
But that Asia seemed like a distant memory now.
"Want to come up?" The words left my mouth before I could reconsider.
Nyree's eyebrows raised in surprise. "You sure?"
I nodded, though I wasn't sure at all. What I was sure about was the way my body responded to him, the way my thoughts drifted to him when we were apart, the way I felt both terrified and exhilarated by whatever this was between us.
"I'm sure," I said more firmly.
He turned off the engine, and we walked to my building in charged silence. In the elevator, he stood close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his body, but he didn't touch me. It was as if he knew we were balanced on a precipice, and one touch might send us tumbling over the edge.
Inside my apartment, the air felt thick with possibility. I set my purse down on the counter, suddenly nervous.
"Want something to drink?" I asked.
"Just water is fine."
I busied myself with glasses and ice, grateful for the task to occupy my hands. When I turned around, Nyree had moved to my living room, examining the framed photographs on my bookshelf.
"These yours?" he asked, gesturing to a series of black and white photos I'd taken during a trip to New Orleans.
I handed him a glass of water. "Yeah. Just amateur stuff."
"They're good," he said, his eyes assessing them with professional interest.
"Says the actual photographer," I teased, but his compliment pleased me.
He set his water down untouched and turned to face me. The playfulness in his expression had given way to something more intense.
"Asia," he said.
Just my name, but the way he said it made my heart race. I set my own glass down, not trusting my hands not to tremble.
"Yeah?"
"I'm trying real hard to be a gentleman here." His voice had dropped to a lower register that sent heat spiraling through me. "But you gotta know what you do to me."
I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. "What do I do to you?"
Instead of answering with words, Nyree closed the distance between us in two long strides. His hands came up to frame my face, his eyes searching mine for permission. I gave the slightest nod, and then his mouth was on mine.
This wasn't like our previous restrained kisses. This kiss was hungry, urgent, a month of building tension breaking free. His lips moved against mine with a confidence that made my knees weak, his tongue seeking entrance which I eagerly granted.
My back pressed against the wall, though I couldn't remember moving. His body pressed against mine, solid and strong, one hand tangled in my hair while the other slid down to my waist, pulling me closer.
A soft moan escaped me as his lips left mine to trail along my jaw, then down to the sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder. The feeling was electric, sending sparks of pleasure through me. My hands clutched at his shoulders, then slid up to the back of his neck, urging him on.
"Damn, you taste good," he murmured against my skin, his breath hot and heavy. "I been thinking about this for weeks."
"Me too," I admitted breathlessly, tilting my head to give him better access.
His teeth grazed my earlobe, then soothed the spot with his tongue. The sensation shot straight to my core, making me gasp. His hand slid under the hem of my sweater, his fingers warm against the bare skin of my waist, inching higher.
My body was on fire, every nerve ending alive with want.
I could feel his arousal pressed against me, hard evidence that he wanted this as much as I did.
It would be so easy to let this continue, to lead him to my bedroom, to give in to the desire that had been building between us since that first kiss.
But something inside me suddenly seized with fear. This was too intense, too consuming. What he was doing to me felt too good to be true – and in my experience, things that seemed too good to be true usually were.
"Nyree," I gasped, my hands moving to his chest, pushing. "Wait."
To his credit, he stopped, pulling back to look at me with concern, though his breathing was as ragged as mine.
"You okay?" he asked, his voice husky.
I nodded, trying to calm my racing heart. "I just... I think we should slow down."
He stepped back, giving me space, though his hands remained loosely at my waist. "Of course. Whatever you need."
The understanding in his eyes almost made me change my mind. There was no frustration there, no pressure – just acceptance and the same intense desire that I felt.
"It's not that I don't want to," I clarified, needing him to understand. "I do. So much. But..."
"But you're not ready," he finished for me. "I get it, Asia. For real."
He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, the tenderness of the gesture making my throat tight with emotion.
"I should probably go," he said, though he made no move to release me.
I nodded. "Probably."
He stepped back, running a hand over his close-cropped hair. "Cold shower for me tonight," he joked, trying to lighten the moment.
I smiled, grateful for the break in tension. "Rain check?"
"I gotchu." His eyes held a promise that sent another wave of heat through me. "I'm not going anywhere."
At the door, he kissed me again, softer this time but no less affecting. "Sweet dreams, Asia."
"You too," I whispered, watching him walk down the hallway to the elevator before closing the door and leaning against it, my body still humming with unfulfilled desire.
In my bathroom, I splashed cold water on my face, trying to cool the flush in my cheeks. My reflection stared back at me, eyes bright, lips swollen from Nyree's kisses. I hardly recognized myself – I was moving way too reckless and I didn’t like it.
This wasn't me. I was careful. Cautious. I didn't rush into relationships or let myself get carried away by physical attraction.
Yet here I was, already in deeper than I'd been with men I'd dated for months.
I went through my bedtime routine – washing my face, brushing my teeth, changing into sleep shorts and a tank top. But when I climbed into bed and turned out the light, sleep refused to come.
My body was still wound tight, every nerve ending sensitized. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Nyree's face, felt his hands on my skin, his lips on my neck. The memory was so vivid I had to clench my fists to keep from reaching for my phone and telling him to come back.
I tossed and turned, punching my pillow into submission, trying to find a comfortable position. My thoughts raced, cycling between desire, confusion, and fear.
What was happening to me? I'd spent a lot of time building walls around my heart, being selective about who I let in, moving cautiously in relationships. Now I was falling headlong into something that defied all my careful rules.
And the scariest part was how right it felt, despite how fast it was moving. With Nyree, things just... flowed.
Maybe that was what terrified me most. The ease of it. Because if it was this easy to fall for him, how much more would it hurt if things fell apart?
“Okay, time to go to sleep,” I murmured, and snuggled into my pillow.
But try as I might, I couldn’t drift off.
Tossing and turning, flipping my pillows, and even moving to the bottom of my bed didn’t work. My mind couldn’t rest.
My eyes popped open around midnight, sleep still a distant prospect. With a sigh, I got out of bed and padded to the bathroom, splashing more cold water on my face.
On my way back to bed, I glanced at my laptop sitting on the desk in the corner of my bedroom. A sudden impulse struck me.
Instead of returning to my bed to sleep, I sat down at my desk and opened the device. The screen illuminated my face in the dark room as I pulled up a browser and got to work.