Chapter 23
Walking out of the hospital, my hand intertwined with Laney’s, I take a deep breath. It feels like days have passed since I stood outside the hospital walls, even though it has been just hours since I arrived.
I look to my left and see Laney’s eyes twinkle, and I can’t help but fall deeper in love with this woman. I feel the smile grow on my face. My hand automatically goes for her belly even though there is nothing evident from the outside to signify she’s pregnant. I’m looking down, and I see her hand over mine, and I move my gaze up to her face. She’s perfect, and I can’t wait to see who this little person is growing inside her.
Before I got into the city, I already had a plan of what I wanted for us moving forward, but now I feel compelled to bring it up immediately, making my feelings known.
I slow my steps until I come to a complete stop. I turn toward her and grab her face, my forehead on hers, my lips lightly kissing her, taking her in.
“I’m sorry I left the way I did.” She’s about to interject, but I stop her with my words.
“Let me get this out. I’ve had days to think of what I want to say to you, and I feel like if I don’t say this now, it will eat at me. I was mad that day. I couldn’t grasp why you would live with this secret for you to digest and process alone, especially when it was our baby you were mourning. I felt like I was left out of something we could grieve together. I’ll admit, I was so hurt. I made it about me when no matter how we look at this, it’s about us. I don’t know how I would have reacted had I been in your shoes, experiencing the events of that day the way you had. It doesn’t take away the feelings I’ve had to process our child that we lost, but I do understand your side. I get why you did what you did, even if I don’t agree with it.”
She closes her eyes, tears escaping, but instead of pushing herself away, she brings her arms around me and squeezes my midsection. Her head rests on my chest, and my heart feels like it’s growing in size for this woman.
I pull her away from me so I can look into her eyes. “Laney, I want forever with you. When I started my drive back this morning, I had so many things I was going to say. I wanted to give you a choice to be with me, to start something more with me, but now I can’t think of you moving through life without me by your side. I don’t want us just to be friends and share a child together. I want more. I need more. I want everything. Please tell me I’m not alone in this.” I can hear the vulnerability in my tone, and I don’t even care anymore.
I want her to understand I’m in this one hundred percent. It’s the three of us now, and I will stop at nothing to ensure she and the baby are safe in this world. Tears stream down her cheeks, and I automatically use my thumbs to wipe them away.
“I want forever with you, too, Grant. I want this, and I want you. I was pushing you away before because I was scared. I wasn’t sure if you’d hate me for what I did, and I was petrified I’d lose you. I’m so sorry.” She looks down, and I bring my finger to her chin to bring her eyes back onto me.
“You don’t have to apologize. I don’t completely know how you felt that day, but I can only imagine it was a lot of fear, hesitation, and shock. I don’t blame you for keeping it from me, and I’m sorry I was too self-centered to realize sooner that you were simply doing the best you could with the cards you were dealt.”
She nods but doesn’t speak. She grabs onto my jacket and pulls me toward her to get my lips on hers. I kiss her, gliding my tongue along her lips, feeling like I’ve been brought back to life after this week away from her.
Once we pull away, I smile and grab her hand again. We begin to walk and hopefully catch a cab. The hospital was a madhouse, so we thought going down the block would help get us an Uber and avoid the chaos.
While we wait the few minutes it takes for the Uber to get to us, I look around, feeling eyes on me yet again. I felt the same eeriness when I was waiting for Laney at the theater. I scan our surroundings, finding nothing to signal something is wrong, yet that feeling persists.
Our ride arrives, and we get in and start the process of defrosting before having to exit the car once again and freeze our butts off.
We make it to Ellie”s house quickly from the hospital and start to remove our multitude of layers, hanging our jackets and scarves on the hooks. Soon enough, we are walking toward the kitchen, starving after hours at the hospital.
“Want to tell me what happened at the yoga studio? I think you skipped over that part earlier today.” I point to the stool for Laney to sit down and begin this week of rest, as I know, she will be a handful while in the midst of it.
“It was exactly that. I fainted. What can I say? My body reacted to everything, I guess. I don’t think it was just the teaching aspect. It was the exhaustion from not sleeping much while you were gone, coupled with the fact I am pregnant and the room was really hot. I think it was just too much for my body to adjust to, so I fainted.” She says it so casually, as if it’s a completely normal reaction by the body.
“Well, just so you know, I’ll be watching you like a hawk.” I hand the tea to her and walk to the fridge to grab her a snack.
“Until you leave in a few days. Then I guess you’ll just have to leave me with someone to make sure I follow directions like a good patient.” She chuckles to herself, but I don’t follow along.
“Yeah, about that. I’m not going on my work trip. I can get out of it. You need me here.”
My back is to her, but I know she’s probably not smiling anymore, and I bet she’s glaring at me in shock.
“No, Grant. No, you are not staying here while you have a job to do. I will not let you stay back and let your career fall to the side. You’ve worked too hard for this.” She crosses her arms over her chest, apparently believing this is an intimidating gesture on her.
“Yeah, it wasn’t a question. I’m staying. That’s it.” My sister might not like the alpha male thing, but this is the woman I love and our unborn baby. I’m staying back and making sure she stays safe and healthy.
“I appreciate what you’re doing, Grant, but I am vetoing this decision. You’re going. I’ll be fine. Honestly, I think we can tell our families, and I bet my mom will come stay with me while you’re gone. No big deal.” She shrugs her shoulders and acts as if that should suffice.
“I don’t think it’s really up to you if I go or not. I have gone years with minimal expenses, traveling and getting jobs all over the world. I don’t need the money right now. This was a great opportunity with the travel magazine, but I bet letting this one job go won’t make it or break it for me.”
I turn my attention back to the fridge and start rummaging through the contents of the shelves. Tyler is a growing kid, and I know he’s got some great snacks in here for him to consume after basketball practice.
“Okay, let’s meet in the middle. Why don’t we table the work discussion for a moment and discuss telling our families. Once we have that in order, we can come back to your job plans and see if we can find a way to make it work? I mean, really, Grant, I was pregnant this entire time, and we didn’t know. What’s a few more weeks of you getting work done? I don’t think it’s a problem.”
My patience is wearing thin right now, but I also think she has a point. Until a few hours ago, we had no idea there was a baby involved. Had she not fainted, I wonder how long it would have taken for her to figure out she had our child growing inside her.
“Alright. Full disclosure though, I did reach out to Rush to see what my options are, so we will be discussing this later, once I have all my options laid out for this trip.”
I hired Rush as an assistant to work remotely for me. We’ve actually only met in person once, but he’s great at multitasking and filters through all my DMs, along with my emails. He books assignments for me that fit with my plan and has a great way of talking to executives at big magazines and outside organizations. He’s been a great addition to my inner circle professionally these last few years.
“I can accept your terms, Mr. Stanley.” Something about the way she’s talking to me is getting my full attention. I can’t help that I’m insanely attracted to her, but now is not the time.
“Please don’t say things like that. I am focusing on taking care of you when all I want to do is strip you down and kiss you all over, Laney.”
I see her cheeks flush, and I know she’s now thinking the same thing as me. I know anything like that will have to wait at least the week my sister insisted Laney rest because of the IUD being fully removed, even though it seems that thing was just hanging around in there and not really doing much else.
I fix her a plate of the most random assortment of snacks. I’m going to blame the pregnancy cravings because the chocolate-covered pretzels, along with the butter pickles and cheese squares I found, all sound horrific together, yet she’s making these gross little pretzel sandwiches with all these things mixed together. I want to gag, but I just smile and let her do her thing.
“So, let’s figure out the family situation. How should we go about announcing this to everyone? I mean, I live with my sister, and I think it will be hard to keep from her.” She makes a big show of eating the next bite of her snack, and I can’t even lie, it’s hard to concentrate while she’s eating this nasty assortment.
I swallow and try to focus on anything but what she’s eating right now. “Yeah, I guess we should start with Ellie. I think we could get away with not telling our parents, but I also think it’s not fair to keep them in the dark. Would you hate me suggesting asking them to come into town? Maybe we could have either Becca or Ellie suggest they come visit. I assume we will tell Ellie before the parents find out?”
Laney’s nodding, and from the look of happiness spreading across her face, I can’t tell if it’s from the sounds of my plan or the last bite she just took of this gross concoction she has orchestrated.
“I think that’s a great idea. Let’s tell Ellie tonight because she’s going to be hounding me to tell her what happened that caused me to rush to the hospital. She’ll also know something is up if I’m resting most of the week, even if I’m not going to be bedridden.”
“Like hell, you’re not. You’re not lifting a finger. I’m going to help you with everything. I’ll even offer my services to help you bathe. That’s the part I’m really excited about.” I smirk, and she narrows her eyes at me, but the smile she’s giving me shows she’s loving the idea just as much as I am.
We chat a little more about the details of our big reveal, and I start to itch with excitement to tell my mom she’s going to be a grandma for a fourth time. I know she’s been secretly wanting this for me for so long, but has never made me feel pressured to settle down.
Ellie has some sort of ‘spidey’ sense because the moment she gets home and finds us on the couch, she begins to question us.
“What’s going on, you two?” she starts without even greeting us with a hello.
Laney decides to prolong her sister’s torture and acts innocent. “What do you mean? We’re watching TV. Wanna join?”
“Don’t give me that, young lady. You two were not speaking for well over a week, and now you’re all cozy on the couch, completely glossing over the fact that you,” she points at Laney, “were in the hospital less than five hours ago. Out with it!”
Ellie gets feisty when it comes to her family, and this is a complete reminder of such.
She won’t let up until we spill, so we do just that.
Laney’s looking down at her nails, acting as if today is just like any other day. I can’t help the pull on the side of my lips, the beginnings of a smile I’m having a hard time hiding.
“Looks like you better gear up, Auntie Ellie!” Laney says, and before I can even think straight, Ellie is pulling her sister to stand and embracing her. I can see their shoulders shake in what I assume comes from them sobbing into one another as they hold each other close.
Then, somewhere in the mix, my sister is called, and she ends up showing up after her shift. They’re all screaming in excitement, and I realize my sister was really holding back her happiness earlier at the hospital. I guess she really does have to keep her composure emotionally when she’s with patients.
Rubbing my ears in hopes that no permanent damage was inflicted upon them after the volume of hysterics I’ve just lived through, I look up to find Shane at the doorway. He’s looking at my sister and the James sisters embracing while they’re yelling plans on what to do in the upcoming months to prepare for the baby.
Before Shane turns to me, I can’t help but notice a bit of sadness passing his features. I know he comes from a place of happiness for Laney and me, but I think a part of him wishes he could turn back the hands of time and be there with my sister when Olive was born. I know he will always want that.
The moment he sees me looking at him, he smiles, genuine and full of love. He walks over and extends his hand, pulling me into a hug.
“I’m so happy for you, Grant. You’re going to make an amazing father. I can’t wait to see you in action.”
I feel my smile pull so wide, I might never stop. This is everything I’ve ever wanted, I realize now.
“Thanks, man. Uncle Shane sounds pretty good to me.” I wink at him, and he puffs his chest out in pride.
“You’re right, it does.” I give him another hug, then turn my attention back to the three women making plans relating to my growing child.
Ellie announces a celebratory dinner must be ordered, then rushes upstairs to shower and change into something more comfortable.
Once dinner is ordered and served, the kids join us, and we all celebrate this miracle Laney and I have made together, expanding this amazing group of people I love into an even bigger circle.