4. Sunny
M ia’s freshman year ended weeks before mine, and she’s been bored out of her mind back home in Beachwood, so she offers to pick me up from the airport.
I leave the freezing cold terminal and let the hot summer air melt the chill from my skin.
I look up at the clear blue sky and enjoy the warmth of the sun on my hair.
I have one year of college under my belt, and now I’m home.
I’ve always loved summers in Beachwood. But summers in Beachwood were always synonymous with Dex.
And it’s been months since I last talked to him.
Mia pulls up to the curb, and I do my best to ignore the anxiety that’s bubbling up inside me. “Sunny!” she squeals as soon as I get in the car. She gives me a huge (slightly painful) hug and, when she lets go, her eyes are wide. “I almost didn’t recognize you!”
I bite my lip and smile, aware that I look very different now than I did when we graduated from high school a year ago. I was a late bloomer, but it was worth the wait .
“You have the curves you always dreamed of!” Mia continues, awestruck. I laugh, remembering all the times I’d lamented to her about my flat chest. “And your hair looks gorgeous!”
“Thanks,” I say, my cheeks getting warmer by the second. I get a lot more attention these days than I did back in high school—but I’m still not used to it. “I made a friend in my dorm with similar hair, and she taught me how to style it.”
I guess that’s the one thing I do know about my biological father—I must have gotten my curls from him, because my mom’s hair is stick-straight.
When I was a kid, she pulled my wild mane into a ponytail because she had no clue what else to do with it.
I always felt like I stood out like a sore thumb in our small Midwestern suburb, where the standard of beauty can be boiled down to one lucky girl: Jenna Andersen.
With her silky blonde hair and green eyes, she could be on the cover of Seventeen .
Meanwhile, I rarely see models who look like me: big brown eyes, olive skin, and chocolate-hued curls with a hint of auburn (my redheaded mother’s only contribution).
But thanks to my new friend at school, at least now my curls are frizz-free and cascade down my back in pretty ringlets. My roommate says I have “princess hair.” And for the first time in my life, I actually don’t hate it. I might even love it.
“Well, you look hot !” Mia says as she pulls away from the curb. “Everyone’s going to be shocked when they see you at the party tonight.”
“What party?” I ask her, confused, as she changes lanes and starts to pick up speed.
“Oh—you probably haven’t checked your email yet.
Seth Arden’s parents are out of town, and he invited everyone from our class to his house.
You have to come! It’s going to be amazing,” Mia goes on, talking a mile a minute.
“I’m sure Dex will be there. You must be so excited.
When was the last time you guys saw each other? ”
My heart lurches, and it isn’t only because Mia takes corners like a NASCAR driver. With one hand braced against the dashboard, I answer, “Not since Thanksgiving.”
And Thanksgiving was a total disaster. My mom and I had dinner at noon before she had to be at the hospital.
Even though it was only the two of us, she ordered a whole turkey and all the trimmings from her favorite five-star restaurant.
We started the meal seated at our barely used dining room table but, within minutes, my mom got a phone call from a frazzled surgery resident and ate standing in the kitchen while I took my plate to the couch.
After my mom left for work, Dex picked me up so I could have a real Thanksgiving dinner at his house.
Mrs. Dexter made everything from scratch, and I was so happy to be with them again—but Dex had this terrible cold and didn’t want to get too close.
There I was hoping we could pick up where we left off on our last night before college, when we almost kissed in the rain.
At least I thought we almost kissed. I don’t know, now. Maybe I was imagining things.
Or maybe I was losing Dex. Maybe he had a gorgeous girlfriend in LA he hadn’t mentioned yet.
I knew he wasn’t still involved with Jenna, because he’d casually mentioned in conversation that she was dating someone she met in school.
But maybe he was seeing someone else. So back at Northwestern, I conducted an experiment: if I didn’t call him first, how long would it take for him to call me?
The results were exactly what I feared. I didn’t hear from him for weeks.
I didn’t even bother going home for spring break.
My mom would be working anyway, so I accepted my roommate’s invitation to her family’s lake house in Michigan.
“Oh my gosh, so you guys haven’t seen in each other in, like…six months? That’s crazy! You should definitely come to the party then! I can pick you up. How’s nine o’clock?” Mia asks eagerly.
I sigh. “I don’t know, Mia. I had to wake up early this morning to finish packing, and I’m pretty exhausted. I’ll probably just stay in tonight.”
Mia frowns. “Are you sure?” she asks without waiting for my reply. “Well, if you change your mind, you can always call me,” she says as she passes a truck that has to be going ninety miles an hour.
“I will,” I say, relieved that she doesn’t press me any further. Truthfully, I got more than enough sleep last night, but I’m not sure I want to see Dex for the first time in six months at a house party full of kids from our high school.
“So what are your plans for the summer?” Mia goes on to ask.
“Not a whole lot. Babysitting. Hanging out. In a few weeks, I’ll be going to Chicago.” I pause for just a second, considering whether I want to continue. “To visit my boyfriend.”
“Hold up!” Mia shrieks, slamming on the brakes at a red light. I jolt forward in my seat. “You have a boyfriend?!”
“Mia, you have got to drive more slowly. You’re going to get us killed! And you’re making me motion-sick,” I say, crinkling my nose.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Mia says with a grimace. “Me and my lead foot—I promise I’ll slow down.”
When the light turns green, she creeps forward, going about fifteen miles per hour. The car behind us starts honking impatiently, and I burst out laughing. “Not that slow, Grandma!”
Mia giggles, her face flushed, and accelerates to a reasonable pace. “Sorry! You know I only have one speed, Sunny! You love this about me!”
“I do love this about you,” I reply, smiling. “ Not when it comes to driving—but, in general, your boundless energy is inspiring.”
Mia smiles. “Thank you. And you’re right…I should definitely pay more attention to the speed limit. Now, let’s please rewind so you can explain why you have a boyfriend I know nothing about? I swear, Sunny, you are the most secretive person on the planet.”
I crank up the air conditioning, my face warm. “Well…I wanted to tell you in person. It’s not the same over the phone, you know?” It’s a lame excuse, but hopefully she accepts it.
Mia nods. “Okay, so tell me about him!”
“His name is Chris Jenkins,” I begin. “He’s a rising sophomore too.
We met waiting in line to get into a frat party.
He was standing behind me and overheard me tell my friends that I was freezing and wanted to leave, so he offered me some of the hot chocolate mixed with peppermint Schnapps he was carrying in a thermos. ”
“Love it,” Mia says approvingly.
“It was delicious…but I was still chilled to the bone, so Chris suggested we try another activity to get wa rm. That’s when I kissed him—right there in line. A couple of weeks later, he asked me to be his girlfriend.”
Mia gasps excitedly. “I can’t believe you kissed him in front of everyone! That’s not like you at all!”
“I know,” I say with a little chuckle. “I guess I’m becoming a new Sunny.” It was a bold move, and definitely out of character. But I hadn’t heard from Dex in weeks, and…
I needed the distraction.
The next time Dex called me, I told him I had a boyfriend. I don’t think I would have if Chris hadn’t walked into my room just as I’d picked up my phone. Dex overheard him say, “Hey, babe,” and I had no choice but to explain. Dex sounded really happy for me and told me to enjoy my night with Chris.
And that was the last time I heard from him. Dex was my best friend for thirteen years—how could he stop talking to me? Maybe I’m na?ve…but I thought we’d always be “Sunny D.” I guess that’s what happens when you’re miles apart. I just never thought it would happen to us.
“Well, I like this new Sunny, and clearly Chris does too!” Mia exclaims as I take a deep breath and refocus on the present. “I’m not surprised he wanted to lock you down, considering how smoking hot you are.”
I laugh but, in a way, she’s right. I can tell that Chris is very attracted to me—and it feels so good to be wanted like that. Finally. Although, he did once make a comment about my curls. When we were kissing one night, he said, “I wish I could run my fingers through your hair.”
To be honest, it hurt my feelings. But I kept that to myself .
“So have you guys…” Mia looks at me out of the corner of her eye and grins. “You know…slept together?”
All I can muster is a sheepish smile.
Three weeks into dating, I told Chris I was ready to have sex.
I surprised myself—I always thought I’d wait until I was in love.
But I was curious. Plus I never dated in high school and felt like I had some catching up to do.
Maybe I wanted to catch up to Dex, I’m not sure.
We’ve never talked about it, but I assume he’s not a virgin.
I doubt it was Chris’s first time, either. As soon as I gave him the green light, he grabbed a condom from the back pocket of his jeans, like he’d been waiting expectantly the whole time.