12. Sunny
I t’s a spring day in Chicago that’s pleasantly surprising because it actually feels like spring. There’s no biting chill in the air, only a warm breeze and the scent of flowers blooming. The kind of day that reminds you that life is full of new beginnings.
That no matter how broken your heart is, you can still smile, and laugh, and…find yourself attracted to someone else.
I have a crush on Asher Abadie.
It started out as something to bide the time.
Because Asher was right—data entry is boring.
Maybe I’m a welcome distraction for him too.
We’re the only two undergrads working on this project so, naturally, we’ve gravitated toward each other these past few weeks.
And it’s probably for the best because, in the absence of Asher’s interest, I know exactly where my mind would wander.
I’m not over Dex yet, but will I ever be?
At this point, I’d settle for his perfect half-smile not being the first thing I think about when I wake up each morning.
But as I walk to the shuttle stop with Asher after our Friday afternoon shift, my only thought is whether or not he’s going to ask me out.
I’ve been getting vibes from him all week.
The way his eyes linger on mine when we say hello and goodbye.
The way I catch him stealing glances in my direction when he thinks I’m not paying attention.
The way his hand keeps lightly brushing mine while we’re walking.
He's going to ask me now. I feel it coming.
“Hey, I was thinking…I’d like to take you out to dinner sometime,” he says as soon as we’ve run out of things to say about the unexpectedly perfect weather. He clears his throat. “If you’d be interested in that.”
He’s nervous. It’s endearing. I’ve never seen Dex sweat about anything.
“I would definitely be interested in that,” I say, smiling wider than I expected.
“Great!” Asher looks relieved. “Any chance you’re free tonight?”
I didn’t see that coming. I thought I’d have at least a day to mentally prepare myself. But maybe it’s better this way. I won’t have time to stress about my first date since Dex. “As a matter of fact, I am.”
“Cool! How about we ditch the shuttle and have dinner downtown?”
“Sounds great!” I say. And when Asher smiles, my knees go weak.
We walk to The Cheesecake Factory. Asher orders a beer, and I have one of those fruity mixed drinks with an umbrella in it, and when the waiter asks for ID, I proudly show my real one, which still feels pretty thrilling, since I turned twenty-one less than two months ago.
We eat all the bread in the bread basket.
Asher asks for the Cajun Chicken Littles, and I get the Navajo Chicken Sandwich on that deliciously puffy fry bread, and I don’t even care that I sometimes have a little spiced mayo on my face.
We split a tuxedo cheesecake, but I eat most of it. We have a really nice time.
We talk nonstop. Mostly about school, a little bit about work and plans for after graduation, typical first date stuff. But what surprises me most is how comfortable I feel with him. I didn’t think I could feel this comfortable with a guy I haven’t known since I was five.
We take a late shuttle back to campus, and he walks me back to my dorm. Not all the way to my room, just to the front door of the building.
“Can I kiss you, Sunny?” he asks me nervously.
I nod and smile.
And that’s how it begins.
One month later, Asher and I are planning our fourth date. He offers to cook me dinner at his apartment off campus on Saturday evening. His roommate will be out of town the whole weekend.
“You’re having sex tonight!” Sam squeals when we’re hanging out that afternoon.
Claire laughs at her roommate’s outburst, but must notice me biting my lip. “Okay, let’s not jump to any conclusions, Sam. We don’t even know if Sunny’s ready to have sex with Asher yet.” She turns to face me again. “ Are you?”
“I’m not sure,” I say as I take a seat at their kitchen table. We just got back from a yoga class, and Sam is making us lunch. “It’s been nice taking things slowly.”
“Do you feel like he’s putting pressure on you?” Claire asks as Sam hands us each a plate with her signature tofu “egg” salad sandwich on sprouted whole grain bread.
“No, not at all. He’s been such a gentleman,” I say as I take a tentative bite of my sandwich. “Mmm, this is surprisingly good!” I exclaim before taking a bigger bite.
“ Surprisingly? ” says Sam.
“I guess I’m just scared,” I continue, steering the conversation back to my dilemma. “It’s been so easy and fun with Asher, and I’m afraid having sex might…complicate things.”
“You’re afraid you forgot how to do it?” Sam teases.
I laugh and shake my head. “I really like Asher. And I’m afraid that if we have sex, I’ll just start comparing him…you know…to Dex.
And how could sex with anyone else ever compare?
Sam tilts her head. “Well, it will be different. But that doesn’t mean it can’t also be amazing. Plus, you’ll never know unless you try.”
“Just remember, there’s no rush,” Claire adds. “When you’re ready, you’ll know.”
“Thanks, ladies,” I say as I inhale the last bite of my sandwich. “Well, I hate to eat and run, but I want to squeeze in a nap before my date tonight. That should help settle my nerves.”
Sam jumps up from the table. “Or you could meditate with us!” she exclaims, pointing to the meditation space she recently created in a corner of their living room. “I just got some new cushions, want to try one?”
“Thanks, I’m good,” I say, smiling as I hug her first, then Claire. They walk me to the door. “Wish me luck!” I shout as I start to head down the stairwell.
“Good luck getting laid!” I hear Sam yell from the doorframe, just as their eighty-year-old neighbor leaves her apartment and meets my sheepish grin with stern disapproval.
When I get back to my dorm room, I check my voicemail and listen to a new message from Mia. “Just calling to check in and say hi! I miss you. It’s been awhile.”
It’s been four weeks. I haven’t told her about Asher yet.
I can’t fathom her reaction. She’ll remember him from middle school. He was quiet, but nice. Tall and lanky. He’s hot now. Sexy, even. Will she be happy for me? Will she ask me if I’m over Dex?
It’s been 280 days since I last saw him. Not that anyone’s counting.
I play out the conversation with Mia in my mind, and I get totally overwhelmed.
So instead of calling her back, I nap.
Asher knew exactly what he was doing when he invited me over for dinner. If I didn’t already think he was incredibly sexy, tonight has sealed the deal. Tall, handsome, Asher—in an apron—making a delicious meal for me . It’s intoxicating.
“The chicken smells amazing,” I say, closing my eyes and inhaling the sultry scent of cumin, lime, and something spicy. “Can I help with anything?”
“Nah, I’ve got this,” Asher says with a wink as he turns the heat down under the sizzling pan. “Here. Try a bite.”
I smile as he brings a spoonful to my lips, his other hand hovering under my chin.
I knew I would like it based on the smell of his kitchen alone, but as soon as the flavors hit my taste buds, my eyes widen in disbelief.
“Oh my god, Asher…this might be the best chicken I’ve ever tasted!
I’m worried you missed your calling. Are you absolutely sure you want to be a therapist? ”
He laughs. “I’m glad you like it. I can’t take all the credit, though. My mom’s a chef and a great teacher. Unfortunately I’m way too into my psychology classes to even consider a different career.”
I lean against the counter, my shoulders rounding. “That’s incredible. I wish I felt that way about poli sci. Honestly, it’s just a means to an end. I could have majored in pretty much anything, but I read that poli sci majors have high law school acceptance rates.”
“Sounds like you have it all figured out,” Asher says as he squeezes lime into two bottles of beer and hands one to me. “Do you know what kind of law you want to practice?”
“I’m not sure. Probably anything besides litigation.
” I laugh. “I can’t see myself arguing in front of a judge and jury…
too nerve-wracking. I’d much rather sit at a computer all day and do legal research and writing.
” I take a long sip. “I’ve always loved to write.
Honestly, I think the reason I do so well in school is because I can write a killer essay on any topic you throw at me.
I hope that doesn’t make me sound conceited,” I add, my cheeks heating up.
Asher turns to wrap his arms around my waist. “Hey, it’s no secret how smart you are. That’s only one of the things I like about you.”
“Well, aren’t you sweet,” I say with a giddy grin before our lips meet. When he slowly pulls away, there are goosebumps on my skin.
“So, do you think you’ll definitely stay in Chicago this summer?” he asks as he turns his attention to the peppers and onions in a cast iron skillet, all cut into beautiful thin strips. I can tell by his hopeful tone that he really wants me to say yes.
“It’s official,” I tell him excitedly. “I just worked out the details with Sam and Claire. They offered me their pull-out couch. It’ll be cramped, but way more fun than living by myself downtown.”
Asher gives the veggies a final stir. “Well, you’re always welcome to hang out here. Justin is studying abroad this summer,” he says, referring to his roommate.
“I might take you up on that,” I say with a smile he doesn’t see because he’s garnishing the guacamole with radish and some sort of herb. Cilantro, maybe? I don’t know. My cooking repertoire is limited to foods that come pre-packaged with instructions.
When Asher turns around, he pauses to look at me as he takes off his apron and tosses it onto the counter. He drags a hand down his chin. “You are so beautiful, Sunny.”
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I say, stepping into him. He leans down to kiss me. I’m on my tiptoes with my arms wrapped around his neck, and he lifts me off the floor effortlessly. I’m kissing him in midair until he sets me back down ever-so-gently.
“You hungry?” he asks.
“Very,” I say, my eyes still closed from our kiss. When I open them, he’s smiling at me, his cheeks flushed.
We sit at the small dining table in his living room and enjoy the meal and each other’s company. When I’ve taken the last bite of my dinner, he asks if I saved room for dessert.
“Always,” I say, dabbing at my lips with a napkin.
“Good,” he replies. “I remember how much you loved that tuxedo cheesecake…” he begins, his voice trailing off as he walks to the fridge. “So I drove to The Cheesecake Factory and picked up two slices.”
While he’s still in the kitchen, I get a bit misty-eyed. Asher’s so sweet. So thoughtful.
It feels incredible to be treated this way. “That’s really nice of you,” I tell him.
He walks back to the table with two plates and two forks, and when he sets everything down, I pull him in for a kiss. He sits and we start eating.
“Two slices?” I ask, covering my mouth as I savor a bite of rich chocolate. “Last time, we split one.”
“Well…” Asher hesitates. “You did kind of eat most of it.” He looks up at me to gauge my reaction.
I feign a look of shock and playfully swat his arm. He laughs. “No, you’re right,” I concede. “I definitely ate most of it. ”
After dessert, we make our way to the living room.
He asks me if I want to watch a movie and invites me to pick one from the DVD tower next to the TV.
I search for one that I haven’t already seen with Dex, but it’s a struggle.
I start at the top and scan each title, my finger sweeping over every DVD case as I go along.
I make it all the way to the bottom before I find one.
Gladiator . It was in theaters last summer, but Dex and I never got the chance to see it. He was too busy with rehearsals.
The movie’s long, but I don’t mind. I like being close to Asher.
He sits with his arm around me, and I snuggle into him, resting my head on his chest. His other hand is on my knee.
We shift around a bit from time to time but stay close, always touching.
He draws soft circles on my shoulder with his fingertips.
I lean my head into the crook of his neck.
He kisses the top of my head. The movie’s almost over, but I’m not nervous.
Only curious about what will happen next.
When the credits start rolling, Asher turns to face me.
“I know we’ve only been going out for a month, but I like you.
A lot ,” he adds with a nervous laugh. “And I was thinking maybe we could make this thing official.” He clears his throat.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is—I’d like to be your boyfriend, Sunny. If you’ll have me.”
It’s everything I once hoped to hear from Dex. And the way Asher’s biting his lip in anticipation of my answer makes it clear how much I mean to him. This thoughtful, attractive man wants the world to know I’m his girlfriend. Why wouldn’t I be all in?
“Yes,” I answer, putting Asher out of his misery, and he breathes a sigh of relief. Then his lips meet mine, but he pulls away almost immediately.
“I don’t want you to feel any pressure. We can still take things as slowly as you want,” he says.
I take off his sexy glasses, and I set them on the coffee table. Then I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. I lean back, pulling him on top of me. He’s kissing my shoulder and my neck, and then I whisper in his ear. “I don’t want to take things slowly anymore.”