25. Sunny
I slide into our usual booth in the back of the bar.
“Sorry I’m late. The new partner walked into my office at five o’clock and asked me to do some quick research for him,” I say, using air quotes. “An hour tops, he promised me. It ended up taking three.”
I pull off my knit hat and unwrap the blanket scarf I layer over my wool coat—which I decide to keep on since I’m chilled to the bone.
I then unwind the thinner cashmere scarf I wear when the windchill hits below zero, and stuff all my winter accessories into my work tote.
“Also, I hate Chicago in January. Why do we live here?”
Sitting across from me, Jeremy barely looks up from his legal pad as he’s writing. “Because we graduated at the top of our class, and now we’re litigation associates at the two best firms in the city, making six-figure salaries.”
I roll my eyes. “I still can’t believe I chose to be a litigator. Every research assignment I get has to be done right away , for some emergency motion the partner wants in his back pocket, but probably won’t end up filing. Yet I have to drop everything to get it done, regardless.”
“Litigation is a high-stakes game,” he says, looking over his notes with a furrowed brow.
“That’s what makes it fun.” Finally, he clicks his retractable pen and sets it down, then pushes a basket of French fries toward me.
“Here—I ordered you some food. I know you get hangry when you work late. And your vodka soda is on its way.”
I smile wide as I grab a fistful of fries. “You know me so well. Thanks, Jeremy.”
“That’s what friends are for,” he says, putting his pen and pad into his briefcase.
“Are you going to sing to me now?” I tease before I happily bite into a fry.
He smirks.
“So how was your day? I ask.
“Pretty good, actually. Dave—you know?—”
“Head of litigation?”
Jeremy nods. “Yeah. He asked me to be second chair for this trial he has coming up in a few weeks.”
My eyes go wide. “No way! You’re a first-year associate! You’ve only been at the firm, like, six months!”
“I know,” he says after taking a sip of his beer. “I’ll be working my ass off to prep for this thing. Dave said if I play my cards right, he might even let me do a cross-examination.”
“Wow,” I say, stunned. “Meanwhile, I still haven’t set foot inside a courtroom. Not that I mind. I’d much rather do legal research and writing all day.”
“That’s what you excel at. We all have our strengths.”
I dip a fry in ketchup. “Well, the head of my litigation department did call me a ‘star researcher’ last week. Best in the firm, he said.”
“ Of course you are,” Jeremy responds, as if to say this isn’t news to him.
“I guess that’s why I keep getting slammed with assignments,” I continue, sighing heavily.
“Well, it’ll pay off in the long run. You’ll be on the fast track to partner in no time.”
I shrug. “We’ll see.”
I have to take this litigation job one day at a time so I don’t get overwhelmed. So far I don’t hate it—but I also spend most of my time behind a computer, which is my comfort zone. At some point, they’re going to send me to court, and the mere idea makes me feel sick to my stomach.
“Here’s your vodka soda,” our waitress says as she places my drink in front of me. “Can I get you guys anything else right now?”
Jeremy and I exchange a glance.
“We’re good,” he says.
The waitress leaves and I take a sip of my drink.
That’s when I see him— Dex Oliver .
On the TV screen behind Jeremy.
“Oh no, not again,” I sigh out. I set my drink down and bury my forehead in my arms, which are crossed in front of me on the table. When I look up several seconds later, Jeremy’s staring at the screen behind him.
He turns to face me. “Sunny,” he says as gently as he’s capable of. “It’s been over a year.”
I lean back against the squeaky vinyl and shake my head. “I know. But how am I supposed to get over him when he’s literally everywhere ? At the movies, on TV…on billboards, and magazines. He’s the breakout star of last summer’s highest-grossing movie, for fuck’s sake.”
Jeremy shifts forward in his seat. “And that’s why you ended things with him. Because you don’t want your life to be swallowed up by his fame.”
I put my head in my hands. “I guess.”
That, and the fact that I’m convinced I’m not good enough to be famous Dex Oliver’s girlfriend.
“Remember what that partner at your firm said—you’re a star too. You deserve much better than to live in someone else’s shadow.”
I bite my lip. “That’s really sweet…thank you.”
It’s the nicest thing Jeremy’s ever said to me.
I take another sip of my drink. “I know I have to move on. It’s just a lot easier said than done. I mean, how would you like it if you saw your ex half-naked on the cover of every entertainment magazine?”
He considers my question for half a second. “I wouldn’t care.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s bullshit. You and Anjali were together for years. Weren’t you guys talking about getting married?”
“You mean before she fucked that cardiology resident?”
I wince. “I’m sorry she hurt you. I guess it’s better to find out she’s a cheater now than when you’re married, though.”
Jeremy sighs. “It was six months ago. I’m over it. And honestly? I don’t think we would have ended up getting married anyway.”
“Really?”
“Nah. We weren’t as compatible as we could be. It just took us longer to realize because we were long-distance.”
I nod as I dip a pair of fries in ketchup.
Jeremy grabs a fry for himself. “You wanna know why you’re not over Mr. Hollywood yet?”
I cross my arms over my chest and try not to roll my eyes again. “Sure. Enlighten me.”
He finishes chewing. “It’s because you haven’t slept with anyone since him. You’ll go on, like, two dates with a guy— maybe let him feel you up—then when he asks you for another date, you say you’re busy with work, and he never hears from you again.”
Suddenly, I’m sweating. I shrug off my wool coat and drain the dregs of my vodka soda. “I definitely need more liquor if we’re having this conversation,” I say, mostly to myself. I call over our waitress and ask for another.
“Make it two,” says Jeremy.
“At least I’m putting myself out there,” I tell him. “I’ve been on tons of dates since I moved to Chicago. It’s not my fault there’s never any chemistry.”
“There’s never any chemistry because you’re meeting men online. You know what kind of men sign up for online dating? Men who have no game.”
The waitress arrives with our drinks.
“Oh, thank god,” I say and immediately swallow a third of mine.
“Sunny, you don’t need to work that hard to get laid. Just find an attractive guy at a bar, go up and introduce yourself, and that’s it. Your dry spell will be over before you know it.”
I set my glass down on the table a bit more forcefully than I intended to. “Okay. If we’re really going to talk about my sex life right now, then I should probably set the record straight. My dry spell is over…I slept with Sebastian last week.”
Jeremy squints at me. “Who the fuck is Sebastian?”
I give an exasperated sigh. “That guy I met in the elevator at work, remember? Like, a month ago?”
“Oh yeah. The finance guy. He asked you out for drinks.” Jeremy finishes his beer and starts sipping his vodka soda.
I nod. “We went out a few times, and he was nice. Good-looking…seemed to have his shit together. So I figured, why not?”
“And?”
“It was…hmm, how do I describe it? I want to make sure I do it justice.” I pause to gulp down more of my drink. “ Mediocre . That’s it. It was mediocre.”
Jeremy laughs hard at this—I knew he would. He’s wiping tears from his eyes. “That bad, huh?” he says when he recovers.
“It was the worst sex of my life.” I finish what’s left of my drink and take a sip of Jeremy’s.
I look around to make sure Finance Guy’s not here, then lower my voice to a whisper.
“He couldn’t…stay hard, you know? And he kept apologizing, and blaming it on the condom, but then he tried going down on me, and that was…
” I shudder. “He had no idea what he was doing. Eventually I just told him to stop.”
“Man. I’m sorry.” Jeremy drags a hand down his chin. “I guess you have no choice but to get back on the horse and try again.” He stifles a laugh.
I ignore his pun and shake my head. “Absolutely not. This was a major setback for me. I waited over a year after my breakup to sleep with someone. And my first time back in the saddle ”—Jeremy winks at me, pleased that I acknowledged his joke—“was awful. Do you know how depressing that is?” I sigh.
“I don’t think I’ll ever connect with anyone the way I connected with Dex. ”
“You had intense feelings for him, Sunny. That’s why the sex was so good.
But one day, you’ll have intense feelings for someone else.
” Jeremy runs a hand through his hair. “Dex isn’t the be-all end-all.
You’ll find someone whose life is more compatible with yours, and you’ll get your happily ever after.
Like those sappy romance novels you love to read. ”
I crack a smile. “They’re not sappy.”
“Yes, they are.”
“How would you know?” I ask, taking another sip of his drink.
He leans back in his booth. “I picked one up at the library the other day.”
My jaw drops. “You’re kidding, right?”
He shrugs. “I was curious.”
“Which one did you get?” I ask, propping my elbows on the table and leaning toward him.
“I don’t know, Sunny. Some…beach romance about two friends who end up fucking one summer, then their lives change forever.”
I laugh. “That literally describes 75 percent of the books I’ve read. ”
“I feel sorry for you,” he says with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, not everyone enjoys astrophysics the way you do,” I tease.
Jeremy smirks. “You’re never going to let me live that down.”
“I mean—who brags about reading astrophysics for fun within five seconds of meeting someone?”
He smiles with his eyes. “I’m a pretentious asshole, I know. Yet, here you are three-and-a-half years later, so…you must see something underneath my stony exterior.”
I shake my head. “You’re not stony, Jeremy.”
“But I’m not the sensitive, guitar-playing type from those terrible books you read, either.”
“Most of them aren’t terrible. You know…I used to dream of writing romance novels. Feels like a long time ago, now.”
“You’re a great writer, Sunny. You could probably write the next Great American Novel if you wanted to. Why limit yourself? Leave the romance-writing to the miserable trophy wives whose CEO husbands can’t get it up.”
I chortle. “You sound like my mom. And please don’t joke about men who can’t get it up.”
He laughs. “Speaking of your mom, tell her I said hi.”
I shake my head and smile. Jeremy and I have this running joke that my mom’s obsessed with him—because she is.
She’s never met him, but they once had a lengthy phone conversation when he and I were celebrating after we passed the bar exam.
I was several beers in and too tipsy to talk to her, so I handed him my phone, and they talked for no less than a half hour about some study he’d come across while reading the New England Journal of Medicine .
As I’m polishing off the last of my fries, a young woman comes up to our table and looks at me first, then Jeremy. “Um, hi,” she says to him.
It takes a second before a wave of recognition washes over his face. “Hey, there. How’s it going?”
She glances back at me, then at Jeremy again. “Good,” she says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
When she examines me a third time, I put the pieces together. “Hey, I’m Sunny,” I tell her. “Jeremy’s friend.”
She instantly looks relieved. “Oh, great! Hi.” Then she turns back to Jeremy. “I um, had fun hanging out the other week. We should do it again,” she says.
He nods. “Yeah, definitely. I’ll call you.”
“Cool.” She smiles at both of us, then walks away.
I try hard to suppress a smirk, but it’s not working.
“What’s so funny?”
“Come on, Jeremy. Is she even old enough to drink?”
He rolls his eyes. “She’s a senior in college, thank you very much. Goes to…DePaul, maybe? I don’t know. Somewhere local.”
“Wow. You seem really into her,” I joke. “What’s she studying?”
“Communications?”
I snort. “Do you even know her name?”
“I’m almost positive it’s Nicole.”
“You really should go back to dating women your own age.” I take one more sip of his vodka soda and pass it back to him. “Was the sex good, at least?”
He finishes his drink. “It wasn’t mediocre.”
I can’t help but laugh. “That’s a low blow. ”
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. But, hey—if you want to find someone more appropriate for me to date, be my guest. You can be my wingwoman the next time we go out.”
“Why wait?” I say, looking around the bar. “I bet I can find someone for you right now.”
He chuckles. “If you say so. Maybe I should tell you what I’m looking for first?—”
“No need. I know your type,” I say, turning back to him.
“Is that right?” He leans back with one arm stretched over the top of the booth.
I nod. “Pretty brunette with big, brown eyes. Thin…but also a little curvy.”
Jeremy micro-smiles.
“What? I’m right, aren’t I?”
“You’re not wrong,” he says with a gleam in his eye. “You also just described yourself.”
My cheeks heat up, but I hold my ground. “More importantly, I described Anjali and Nicole , or whoever that girl was. Not to mention the woman who was leaving your apartment when I came over last Sunday, and the one who gave you her number at Millennium Park?—”
“Okay, okay,” he concedes. “Fair enough. So, do you see anyone here who fits the bill?”
I look around again. Obviously there are plenty of attractive brunettes in the bar.
But none of them look quite right for Jeremy.
“Sorry.” I shrug. “Maybe next time.”
He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and leaves a stack of bills on the table. “No worries. I have to be up early tomorrow for trial prep, anyway. You ready to go?”
I nod. “Yeah. Thanks for the drinks—and fries. My treat next time.”
I bundle myself back up before we head outside. When we step onto the icy sidewalk, I hail an approaching cab.
Jeremy opens the door for me. “Text me when you get back to your apartment, okay?”
“I always do,” I say. “See you tomorrow?”
He nods. “Same time and place.” Before I get in the cab, he takes a step toward me and kisses me on the cheek.
He’s never done that before.