26. Dex
I ’m at a party at Leo’s house when it happens: Ava Elwood spots me from across the room and smiles.
I’m six months into my new life, and it still feels surreal.
Here I am inside the mansion of one of the finest actors of our generation—someone I’ve looked up to since I was a kid—and he’s actually praising my acting skills.
He says he sees a little of himself in me.
These are the moments where I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.
When Ava walks up to us, she gives Leo a kiss on the cheek.
I’m pretty sure they dated years ago. I remember seeing pictures of them in the tabloids.
Not that it means much. I’ve been in this business a short time, but long enough to know that Hollywood relationships aren’t always what they seem.
In the past few months, my publicist, Wendy, has orchestrated a media frenzy of speculation over which A-list celebrity I’m dating.
The truth is, I’m not seeing anyone. But every other week, Wendy will work out a deal with one of her publicist friends, where I get photographed with an actress doing something completely mundane, like going for a walk with coffee.
It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved, she tells me.
Since I’m new to this industry, being linked to someone with an established career boosts my credibility.
And the actress I’m spotted with automatically becomes sexier, supposedly, because she’s caught the eye of the “new hot thing.”
Yes, Wendy refers to me as a thing .
Ava turns from Leo to me, then takes my hand, which is surprising considering I’ve never met her. “Mind if I steal him for a few minutes?” she asks our host.
“Be my guest.” He gives me a pat on the shoulder. “Call me next week. We’ll have lunch.”
When he walks away, Ava gently squeezes my fingers. “Come outside with me. It’s too hot in here.”
She leads me through the crowd of famous faces, through sliding doors, and out to the pool. It’s January in LA, and the air is cool, so there aren’t many people out here.
She reclines on a lounge chair, and I take the one next to her. I’m trying my best not to stare, but this is Ava Elwood —the supermodel known for her striking red hair and bright blue eyes. She’s even more stunning in person.
“I have a confession to make,” she says, pulling at the hem of her black mini dress, which covers almost nothing.
I raise an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What’s that.”
Her cheeks turn pink. “I’ve had a crush on you since you were on Passions .”
I look down at my shoes—brand-new designer shoes that I didn’t pay a cent for—and laugh .
“It’s true,” she says. “I never missed an episode.”
I meet her gaze. “That’s very flattering. Thank you.”
She giggles, her signature scarlet ponytail swinging behind her. “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this…”
I tilt my head. “Good at what?”
“I can’t remember the last time I asked a guy out. It’s usually the other way around, but…” She bats her eyelashes at me. “Word on the street is, you play hard to get, Dex Oliver.”
I sit up and bring my legs over the side of the lounge chair so I’m facing her. “Is that right?” I ask with a playful smile.
She laughs and crosses one red-soled snakeskin heel over the other. “I mean, you turned down a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Who does that?”
I drag a hand down my chin. “Oh, man. She told you about that?”
Ava shakes her head and adjusts the diamond bracelet glittering on her wrist. It almost blinds me. “I don’t know Caterina well. I heard it through the rumor mill. But it must be true, judging by your reaction.”
I sigh. “I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. I had an early flight the next morning.”
Truth is, there was no early flight. But I don’t think Caterina would have believed me if I’d told her I’m waiting for the goddamn stars to align so I can be with the woman I’ve loved since we were kids.
It’s been over a year since Sunny broke up with me, and I’m just as hung up on her now as I was on the train back to London.
I’ve slept with a fair number of women since then, but I don’t see the point in letting things progress past casual sex.
On the other hand, I don’t know how many more notches I can add to my bedpost without developing a reputation—especially now that my career’s taking off, and my social life makes for great headlines.
That’s why I told Caterina I couldn’t go home with her.
Wendy says, the more women I screw, the better.
She’s blunt like that. She insists it’ll only make me more desirable, which means more money for us both.
But I don’t want to be that guy . I’m not that guy.
I want to be in a relationship more than anything on this earth.
But the woman I want doesn’t want me . She made that clear in Paris.
We call or text every now and then. But all we talk about is work.
She asks me what it’s like to be a movie star, and I tell her the truth, except for how goddamn lonely it is.
And I ask about her life, and she tells me absolutely everything except what I really want to know—which is whether or not she’s dating Jeremy.
She doesn’t mention him at all, which I’m pretty fucking sure means she’s in love with him and would rather not tell me. In case I lose my shit again.
Sunny’s the only woman in the world I want by my side.
And now I’m pretty much fucked no matter what I do. My choices are basically to be celibate, sleep around…or date someone knowing full well that I’ll probably never fall in love with them. None of these options sound appealing.
I’m not going to tell Ava Elwood that, of course. But it’s obvious she can see through my bullshit. She’s looking at me with one perfectly waxed eyebrow raised.
“Early flights are the oldest excuse in the book,” she says with a laugh. “You’re an amazing actor, Dex. I’m sure you can come up with a better lie for when you don’t want to go to bed with someone.”
I fix my eyes on hers and give her my sincerest smile. “It wasn’t like that. I swear.”
She sits up and faces me, crossing one infinitely long leg over the other. “So you wouldn’t use that excuse on me if I asked you?”
I blink at her.
“Not to bed,” she says, turning pink again. “I want to take you to dinner.” She leans forward, her knees now gently resting against mine. “And we’ll see where things go from there.”
The way she’s folding her arms to push her breasts together, I have a pretty clear picture of where she wants things to go.
I’m stuck. I don’t think I can say no—not to Ava Elwood.
No man in his right mind would reject her, so what would it say about me if I did?
This is my world now, and I need to do my best to fit in.
If I keep playing “hard to get,” as Ava said, I might lose any edge I have by being labeled the “new hot thing” in this town.
“I’d be happy to have dinner with you,” I say. From what I know about Ava, she has a short attention span. We’ll probably go out a few times, then she’ll move on to the next guy.
“Fantastic. Let’s look at our calendars.” She’s beaming as she opens the app on her cell phone. “I’m leaving for Tokyo tomorrow, but I’ll be back the following week. How about you?”
I check my phone. “I’m in New York that week. How about the following Friday?”
She smiles. “It’s a date. ”
After we exchange numbers, she tells me she has to head home to pack for her trip to Japan.
But before she gets up to leave, she leans in and plants her ruby lips on me.
Three weeks later, Ava and I meet for dinner in the private room of a Michelin-starred sushi spot.
We have a lot of sake and very little food.
The chef prepares us a special low-carb meal, per Ava’s request. I’m getting used to eating this way, but I still fucking hate it.
It’s also a lot harder to stick to this diet when I drink.
I’m always tempted to order a pizza as soon as I get through my front door—something to soak up the alcohol.
But I doubt I’ll be going back to my place tonight.
Ava Elwood wants me. She’s been explicit about that since her first cup of sake.
And I have to admit, I’m having a good time with her.
She’s a lot smarter than people give her credit for.
If she hadn’t been discovered at a mall in her hometown of Lincoln, Nebraska when she was fifteen, she would have liked to be a doctor.
Her parents only allowed her to start modeling if she agreed to finish high school and apply to college.
She actually got into Princeton, but deferred admission because her career was heating up.
Once she was offered a modeling contract with one of the top agencies in the world, she never looked back.
Now she uses her smarts to parlay her fame into successful business ventures, like her fashion and cosmetics lines .
After dinner, she takes me home with her. Before I know it, she’s lying on her bed naked, her fire-red hair splayed across her white silk pillowcase, like flames. I’m about to grab a condom from my wallet when she stops me.
“We can’t use condoms,” she says breathlessly. “I’m allergic to latex.”
“Oh.”
“But I’m on birth control,” she adds, reaching into her nightstand. She pulls out a pack of pills to show me. “See? Today’s Friday, and I took my pill this morning. I never miss a day. If I get pregnant right now, it’ll kill my career.”
I hesitate.
There’s only one woman I’ve never not used condoms with. My heart aches thinking about how different it was with her. How right it felt being intertwined with her, like two puzzle pieces clicking together.
How meaningful it was. Not just a random physical act, but two hearts melding.
God , I’m a sap.
But I really fucking miss Sunny.
“Dex?”
Dammit . I haven’t answered Ava yet.
“I’m sorry about this,” she continues. “I know it’s not ideal. But I got tested a few days ago, and everything came back negative. I have the results on my phone, so I can show you?—”