Chapter 31 #2
“Just play through some of the songs without vocals.”
Jimmy cringes. “You think that’ll be okay?”
“It’s going to have to be,” Caleb says.
“Two songs,” Jimmy replies. “Then I’m coming back for you.” He disappears back into the gymnasium.
Caleb lets out a slow breath, focusing on his feet.
“I thought you hated me,” I say.
“I could never hate you.”
I pull at my dress, trying to distract myself from the discomfort of the situation. “Why won’t you look at me?”
He waits a moment before he responds. “Because it’s not what you want. If I look at you, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”
I stare at the floor. I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t skip a beat.
“Are you happy?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper.
My head turns to meet his timid gaze. “What?”
“Are you happy being apart? Truly? Because I’m not.”
“We can’t—”
“That’s not what I asked. I said, are you happy?”
I study the longing in his eyes. They drift from my eyes to my lips. His fingers are millimeters from touching mine. Is he forcing them back?
Despite my better judgment, I whisper, “No.”
He circles around to stand directly in front of me. His hand rests next to my head, and he leans in. “Do you really want to be apart?”
“Caleb, please. This isn’t a good idea.”
“Why? Give me one good reason.” His forehead rests against mine.
I search for words, but I can’t bring myself to say anything about his mom or my dad.
“So,” he says. “Forget about everything else. What do you want right now? Do you really want to be apart?”
My heart is being torn in two. I see Dad weak and devastated in my mind, but with Caleb here filling my senses, I can’t seem to pull away.
“No,” I whisper.
His lips crash into mine, and he kisses me like we’ve been apart for years.
My fingers are tangled in his hair.
One of his hands is on my waist. The other cups my cheek.
As I kiss him back, he pulls me into him, tightening his grip as if he’s afraid he’ll lose me if I let go. I rest my hand on the back of his neck, keeping him in place and nudging him to kiss me deeper. His kisses are warm and minty, drowning out the world.
But I can’t . . .
My hands drift to his chest, and I softly push him back.
His eyes search me, trying to read my thoughts. “What’s wrong?” he whispers.
My lip quivers.
“Did I overstep? Did I upset you?”
I shake my head weakly. “No. You’re perfect. This is perfect. That’s the problem.”
His hands land on my shoulders, and he looks directly into my eyes. “I don’t understand.”
“The problem is I love you!”
His eyes widen, and he sucks in a breath.
“I love you, but I,” my breath staggers, “can’t have you.”
“Yes, you can.” He gestures to himself. “Take me. I’m all yours. Every bit of me.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. Before I can stop myself, the truth spills out of me. “If we keep dating, your mom is going to report my dad.”
He steps back, eyebrows furrowed. “What?”
“We don’t have a choice.”
His hand flies up to the back of his neck, and he begins to pace the hallway.
His face reddens more with each step. “This is bull. Moving isn’t enough?
She has to do this too?” My heart aches, watching him panic.
He rushes to my side, scooping up my hand and squeezing hard.
“No. I won’t let her. I’ll change her mind. ”
“What if you can’t? She doesn’t think I’m good for you, and maybe she’s right. I mean, you snuck out of the hospital when you had a concussion. You always do what other people want you to do. You don’t stand up for yourself.”
“I will this time. I want you more than anything else in the world right now.”
“But what if she reports my dad?” I cling to his hand, wanting to believe in this outlandish dream of his. I’m too afraid. I can’t put my dad through any more than I already have.
His head dips. His eyes become level with mine, challenging me. “If you really want to see me stand up for myself, tell me to stay away again. I dare you. Because I’m telling you right now, I won’t let you go so easily this time. That’s not what I want.”
“Caleb,” I breathe.
“Give me a chance to tell my mom how I feel about you. Let me try and change her mind.” He rests his forehead on mine.
I put my arms around his waist and lean my head on his shoulder. “Okay.”
“Hey, Bec?”
“Hmm?”
“You still owe me a date.”
I laugh despite myself, biting my lip. “Wow.”
“Well, you do,” he says with a wide grin.
“Well then, Caleb Park, would you like to be my date to the winter formal?”
“Sorry, I already have a date.”
I push his shoulder. “Hey.”
He smiles, dimples popping. “She’s super hot too.” I roll my eyes. “And now that I think about it, she happens to look just like you.” I give him a side-eye. “I even matched her,” he says.
I raise an eyebrow, looking at his dark suit and white shirt. “What do you mean?”
He lifts his foot, shaking it. “Notice anything?”
I look down and gasp. “You wore navy sneakers too?”
“Of course.”
My little heart is giddy, and I try to suppress the tiny smile on my lips. “Let’s go dance.” I extend my hand.
He takes it, weaving his fingers in mine.
I take a step forward.
He pulls me backward, spinning me around. “Not so fast.” He cups my face, kissing me as he pushes me back against the wall.
Butterflies ripple through me, all the way down to my toes. I know now—more than ever—we were never meant to be apart.
I wonder if he can feel the smile on my lips.