Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
We spent the whole evening baking cupcakes and decorating them until we couldn’t see straight, and then we both passed out on Sadie’s bed.
I missed this. I missed having someone I could have deep conversations with one minute and be ridiculously silly with the next without any judgment from them.
“What do you think?” Sadie asks, twirling in her dress. She puts her hand on her waist and strikes a pose.
“Did you change it?” I ask, lying with my head at the foot of her bed. I’m watching her upside down.
She bites her lip. “I might’ve bedazzled it.”
“You didn’t.”
“It took four hours.”
I toss a pillow at her face. “No wonder you failed your math test.”
She catches the pillow, sending me a half-hearted glare. “Ha-ha.”
“It looks good.” I sit up, propping my chin on my hand.
“Good?” She raises an eyebrow, then proceeds to throw the pillow back at me. “I look spectacular.”
“My mistake,” I say, laughing as the pillow misses me entirely.
Sadie walks over to the bag I asked Mom to drop off for me. “She packed your dress, right?” She rummages through it, not waiting for an answer. “Ah-ha. I found it.” She spins back around, holding it up. “Time to change.”
Mom brought everything except my headphones, which would’ve been nice to bring to the dance . . .
I throw my head back and groan. “But my sweatshirt is so comfy. Besides, I’m just going to stand by the wall, tucked away in some corner.”
She walks over and sets it down next to me. “And let the money you spent go to waste? No. Besides, it’s not every day you have the excuse to be a princess.”
As soon as I pick it up, Sadie turns around to do her makeup at her vanity. She picks up her purple eyeshadow palette and starts adding the glittery color to her eyes. She’s always been so good with makeup and keeping up with trends.
“Hey, Sadie?”
“Hmm?” She has one eye closed, and her other eyebrow is raised as she applies eyeshadow.
“Could you help me with my makeup?”
Her hand slips and crashes into the pile of cosmetics on the vanity, sending them flying. She twists around. “Becca Jacobs, did I hear you correctly?”
“That is a possibility.”
She leaps up. “Yes! Come, trade me. You can sit here.”
I laugh as she pulls me to the chair and forces me to sit. “Nothing too wild,” I say, peering over her covered vanity.
“On a scale from ‘absolutely not’ to ‘I probably won’t kill you,’ how do you feel about glitter?” she asks, reaching for one of the palettes littering the floor.
“I probably won’t kill you.”
She smiles. “Perfect. Glitter it is.”
“In moderation.”
“Unfortunately, that’s not a promise I can make,” she says.
“But—”
“Close your eyes,” she instructs, already bringing the brush closer.
She spends the next ten minutes pretending my face is a canvas.
Every time I try to open my eyes, she scolds me, demanding I wait until she’s done.
The brushes tickle against my skin, and I have a hard time staying still.
Once she finishes, she starts doing my hair, gathering it up into a curly bun.
“There,” she says after an eternity. “Open.”
I open my eyes and gasp. “Whoa.”
Still behind me, she squeezes my shoulders and leans forward. “Right? I wonder what Caleb will think.”
“Sadie!”
“Hey, it doesn’t hurt to wonder.”
I roll my eyes.
Sadie checks the time on her phone. “Yikes, we have to get moving, otherwise we’re going to be late. I’ll start putting the cupcakes in the car while you get dressed.”
I nod as she runs off. A soft smile crosses my lips when I look at my reflection. Even though I rarely wear makeup, I secretly think it’s a lot of fun. I even like the glitter dusted over my eyes and the shimmer on my nose and cheekbones. I look pretty.
It’s strange showing up to a dance before it’s put together.
We’re the ones that have to transform the gymnasium into the low-lit atmosphere everyone else will just experience.
We cover the tables with white tablecloths and add centerpieces with floating candles.
Toward the back, we set up the cupcakes on trays.
The colors pop against the rest of the white decorations.
As I set up the punch table, Sadie hurries over to me. “Hide.”
“Why?”
“He’s here. The whole band is.”
I tilt my head, giving her a look. “Why would I hide? It’s not like he’s going to talk to me.”
She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure you’re exaggerating. I'm sure he’s dying to see you, so if you don’t want him to be struck with incurable sadness, you better hide.”
“I think you’ve watched too many rom-coms.”
“What if he actually wants to talk to you? Are you going to explain what happened? Don’t you think he deserves to know?”
I hand Sadie a glass of punch. “Try this. Tell me if I need to add any more ice cream.”
She takes the glass. “You’re avoiding the questions.”
“Who, me? Why would you ever think that?”
“I know true love when I see it. Just you wait. He’ll see you and won’t be able to hold himself back.”
I shake my head at her nonsense and motion to the cup in her hand. “The punch?”
She narrows her eyes, taking a sip. “It’s good.”
Caleb walks in and heads right for us. For a moment, I almost agree with Sadie’s wild ideas. Is he really walking up to me? Is he going to pull me aside?
His hair is slicked back, and he’s dressed in a dark suit with a white shirt underneath. The collar is unbuttoned at the top, somehow making it look slightly more casual.
My heart races as he nears, and my eyes drop to the floor. I can’t bear to see the hurt in his eyes.
“Hey, Sadie. Can we start setting up?” he asks.
His cedar scent is intoxicating. He’s so close I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to.
I wait for him to acknowledge me.
But he doesn’t. I might as well not be here. It’s as if I’m part of the decorations, blending into the drink station.
“Of course. The stage is all ready for you guys,” Sadie says.
“Okay, thanks,” Caleb replies.
Then, he leaves.
He leaves.
My heart sinks as I watch him turn his back on me and walk away.
Sadie’s mouth drops to the floor. “I didn’t realize it was that bad.”
My mouth forms a hard line, and I nod. I don’t know why I expected him to say anything. I’m the one who broke things off and told him to leave. All he did was listen.
I turn back to the punch bowl and add another scoop of ice cream anyway. Then I start to straighten the cans of soda we have off to the side.
“Are you okay?” Sadie asks.
“It’s fine.”
“Seriously. If you need to go, it’s okay.”
“I’ll be okay. Just give me some more things to do so I can stay busy.”
“Okay,” she says but doesn’t seem completely convinced. “Why don’t you help take tickets at the front doors? People are going to start showing up.”
I wander across the gymnasium to where the ticket table is set up. Another student is already there. I sit next to them and wait awkwardly for the next few minutes as a line begins to form. When the clock finally speeds up and hits six, we start taking tickets.
It doesn’t take long for the gymnasium to boom with music and voices. My skin crawls, but I keep taking tickets. One after the other, because it’s all I can do.
After about thirty minutes, the line slows with only an occasional student trickling in here and there. I head back inside, braving the loud music to try and find Sadie. She’ll know what else needs to be done.
The gymnasium is full of people dancing in the center of the room under colorful flashing lights. I scan them, trying to pick out Sadie, but she isn’t dancing. On the other side of the room, she’s adjusting the photo booth.
I try to find a clear path toward her, but it’s packed. The shortest and easiest path is right through the heart of the dance floor.
My fingers dig into my skin, and I stagger forward.
I weave through the crowd, trying to avoid bumping into anyone, but it’s nearly impossible.
There are shoulders and hands flying around me, tossing me around like a ping-pong ball.
My pulse skyrockets as the room spins. I lose my sense of direction.
I look back and forth, trying to spot Sadie, but she’s disappeared.
The music becomes too loud, hammering against my brain.
My stomach twists into a thousand knots.
Beads of sweat form on my brow, and my face heats up.
Caleb is singing, but his voice isn’t relaxing me this time. It’s making my gut fill up with guilt.
I need to get out of here. I’m drowning.
I’m drowning in a bright and loud sea of people.
I cover my eyes with the palms of my hands, blocking out the flashing lights, but that only makes the music more intense.
The music changes. It loses its vocals first, then the guitar and drums fade too.
I pry open an eye to see Caleb jumping off the stage. He pushes his way through the crowd as Jimmy and Sean yell at him, demanding to know what’s wrong. The crowd watches Caleb as he moves forward.
He stops in front of me. His face is full of worry as he takes off the headphones he has around his neck and puts them on me. They cover my ears and immediately, the sounds are muffled, and I feel like I can breathe again. Caleb becomes the only thing I see.
He takes my hand and pulls me away from the crowd. He doesn’t stop until we’re in the hallway outside the gymnasium.
No one else is in sight.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod as my stomach settles, and my pulse slows.
He lets go of my hand, and I hold my breath, dreading the moment he walks away again. Instead, he rests his back against the wall.
I do the same, inches away.
We’re quiet.
On the outside, I’m calm, but on the inside, it’s taking everything I have not to run into his arms. If I did, would he hug me back?
Jimmy runs into the hallway but stops when he sees us. “Caleb, you have to come back. We just started.”
Caleb waves him away. “I know. I will, but I need a minute.”
Jimmy rocks on his heels. I can tell he wants to steal Caleb away from me. “We’re ruining the dance right now.”