Chapter Thirty-Four #3
He nodded, a small, almost disbelieving smile pulling at his mouth. “Yeah. She… she can’t speak it the way we do, but she typed it out for me. Took her forever, and she was so damn stubborn about making me hear every word even though I know it was exhausting for her.”
A soft breath left his chest, like the memory alone unraveled him.
“She told me I didn’t walk away from you for her. Or for my family. Or even for football. She said I did it because I was scared. And she was right.”
That landed heavy between us.
“Ginny saw what I thought no one did, that I’ve spent so long convincing myself that everything is on me — that I have to be the one to hold it all together, to make the right choices, to not screw anything up — that I don’t even realize when I’m hiding behind it anymore.
” His jaw tightened. “That I dress fear up like it’s responsibility. ”
I squeezed his hand. “They feel like one and the same sometimes.”
He nodded. “And then my parents talked to me, too. They all helped me realize that I was making a decision based on the worst thing that could happen, instead of the most likely thing that would. And then…” He huffed a quiet laugh, softer now.
“Ginny told me to stop trying to be a martyr. That none of them need me to give up my life to keep them safe. That they’d be okay — with or without me playing football, with or without everything going perfectly. ”
Emotion thickened his voice.
“And that I need to stop using them as the reason I stay unhappy.”
That one cracked straight through me.
Braden’s eyes found mine again, steady, raw.
“She didn’t give me some big speech about taking risks or chasing love,” he said.
“She just… called me out. Told me the truth I didn’t want to admit.
” His grip on my hands tightened. “That I didn’t walk away because I had no choice.
I walked away because I was too afraid to fight for you.
And I realized I’ve been doing it all wrong,” he said.
“I’ve been trying to build a life where I never have to hurt like that again.
But that’s not living, Em. That’s just… existing. And I don’t want that. Not anymore.”
He leaned in, sweeping his hand up to run his knuckles along my cheek. I leaned into his touch, my heart squeezing painfully with the need to have more of it.
“I want the messy, complicated, risky version of this life. I want the one where I might lose, but at least I know I didn’t walk away from something that mattered.” His thumb swiped under my eye, catching a tear. “I want you. Even if it scares the hell out of me.”
I nodded, kissing his palm. “I want you, too.”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen with the team, or PR, or any of it,” he went on.
“I don’t have a perfect plan to hand you.
But I do know this — I’m done letting fear make my decisions for me.
” His voice softened, but it didn’t lose its certainty.
“I want to be brave. And being brave means choosing you. Out loud. On purpose. No matter what comes with it.”
“You want to tell the team?”
“I do,” he said with certainty. “I don’t want to hide you.
I don’t want to hide us. I want to live out loud.
But it’s not just me who’ll be impacted by that, so…
it’s your call.” He framed my face, holding my gaze to his.
“What do you think? Want to blow up our contracts, and maybe our worlds, just to be together?”
I laughed, nodding, already climbing into his lap with my heart on fire with the desire to do whatever it took to be with him.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I want you. I want a life together. And I don’t care if we blow it all up because I know from experience that when one door closes, a thousand others open. Wherever this life leads us, whatever we do… I’ll be happy if we’re doing it together.”
And then he kissed me.
The words were barely from my lips before his mouth was on mine, my legs straddling his lap, his arms winding around me and holding me tight. I nearly burst into tears at that kiss, at the feeling of having him again when I wasn’t sure I ever would.
And he was choosing me.
He was choosing this messy, flawed, imperfect woman who was too loud and too bold and too unstable to ever know what to expect.
He was seeing me for exactly who I was and finding it to be enough.
Just like I had been learning to do.
“I love you,” he breathed against my mouth before landing another long, hard kiss. “So much. Thank you for not giving up on me when I was being a fucking idiot.”
I laughed, kissing him back in earnest. “Thank you for saying yes when I disguised my desire for you under some stupid bucket list.”
“Are you telling me that list wasn’t real?”
“Oh, you’ve seen the notebook. It’s very real.” I leaned back, brushing his hair off his forehead. “But I wanted more than just you in my bed. I wanted you in my life. In my heart. I just knew it was an impossible ask.”
“So, you found a way.”
“I found a way,” I said, planting another kiss. “And I think maybe that’s what we do from here on out, don’t you? Just… roll with it. Find a way. Our way.”
Braden nodded, wrapping me up tight as he leaned his forehead to mine. “You and me, Trouble.”
I smiled, my heart echoing the sentiment until I felt it in my toes.
“You and me.”