Chapter Twenty-Eight #2
Is this how fickle life is?
Dread grips my bones as I wonder who I'm going to lose next. My mom? My dad? Kian? It’s dawning on me just how mortal we all are.
It’s terrifying.
Panic bubbles up inside me, my lungs constricting.
I need Kian.
After he had shown up, the four of us had a simple meal. There was swift relief in Kian’s metallic gaze as I finished my entire plate. I made sure he did too, earning a secret smile from my dad. It’s safe to say he accepts my new boyfriend.
Pulling me aside after the dinner, he told me that Dadu would give his blessing too, if he were here. It made us both emotional.
Throwing off the covers, I sit up against the headboard as I force myself to take deep breaths, like Kian taught me to do during panic attacks. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I unlock it and hover my thumb over his number. I hate to disturb him, but the longing to hear his deep voice wins.
As if he was waiting for my call, he picks up on the first ring.
“Rainbow, you okay?” he demands, high on alert. “Bad dream?”
I open my mouth, only for an ugly sob to escape.
“Don’t cry, baby,” he says, sounding in pain. “Talk to me.”
“I-I can’t sleep. I’m-m scared.” You’re too far away. “I’m missing you. I can’t stop imagining bad scenarios. It’s all too much.”
I hear rustling on his end, a clicking noise, then a door snapping shut. “Come outside.”
“What?”
“I’m outside your house.”
My pulse kicks up as I jump down from the bed and race downstairs. How is he here? He left hours ago. Or did he?
Grabbing the house key from the hook, I fumble with the lock in my haste, but manage to quickly get it unlocked. Wrenching the front door open, I step onto the porch and there he is.
Standing across the street and leaning against his shiny black SUV. He’s still in the same clothes, minus the suit jacket and the tie, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He straightens as I run to him barefoot and catches me in his arms.
“You’re here,” I cry out, clinging to him. The anxiety disappears as I’m enveloped in his heat and strength. “You’re okay.”
He squeezes me tight, massaging my back in soothing circles. “We’re both okay, Rainbow. I’m right here.”
Twisting around, he perches me on the hood. I keep my arms and thighs locked around him, needing the contact. Cradling my face, he bends and kisses my tears away before pressing his lips against mine in the sweetest kiss ever.
I return it earnestly, loving the calm that spreads all over me at his touch and closeness. “I was missing you so badly, Kian.”
“I was missing you too,” he murmurs back, tucking a wayward strand behind my ear. “I hate being apart from you, especially knowing you’re sad and hurting.”
“Having you by my side, taking care of me… it’s helping me more than you know.”
“I know you stay strong in front of your parents, but you can lean on me when it’s just us. I haven’t lost a loved one, but if anything ever happened to you, it’ll be the end of me. So, take however long you need, I’m here for you.”
I caress the back of his neck and skim a palm up his chest. “I know you are, love. It means the world to me.”
“What made you scared tonight?”
“That life is so fragile. I don’t know if the pain of losing Dadu will ever go away. How do people keep going after something like this? I was lying alone in my bed and the thoughts became too much. I couldn’t quiet my brain. You were not beside me and I-I became frightened.”
“Shh… It’s okay,” he whispers, yanking me flush as his face becomes blurry. My tears soak his shirt as I sniffle low. “It’s okay. You’re never alone, as long as you have me.”
He keeps holding and kissing me as I break down. When I shiver from the cold night air, his arm winds around my waist and picks me up.
“I don’t want to go inside,” I tell him, panicking.
“Not sending you back, Rainbow.” The car unlocks and his body dips as he slides inside. I lift my head from his neck to notice we’re in the back seat. Laying me down on the comfortable leather, he places my head on his lap. “Rest. I’m right here.”
I lace my fingers through his resting against my chest, while his other hand runs through my hair. The sensation melts the lingering nerves away. Our steady breathing fills the car’s interior like a lullaby. Being here with him is a million times better than lying alone in my bed.
As my fingers graze his wristwatch, I become aware of his clothes and go still. “Did you never go home, Kian?”
“No. I didn’t want to be far, in case you needed me. I also can’t sleep without having you in my arms.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you would’ve asked me to stay and I didn’t want to make your parents uncomfortable by spending the night.”
Of course I would’ve demanded he stay with me. The thought of him sleeping in his car all night brings a pang to my chest. All because I might need him.
But wait… I’ve been here for a week.
“Kian,” I gasp, sitting up and cupping his cheek. “Have you been sleeping out here every night?”
His features soften. “Baby…”
“Oh my god!” A tremor shoots down my spine. This crazy, crazy man. It would’ve been awful for him to sleep in this cramped space. Yet he did it for me.
What did I do to deserve him?
He brushes the concerned lines with the pad of his fingers from my temple and murmurs, “I’ve spent nights in far worse places, Rainbow. Don’t worry about it.”
I know he’s mentioning his time in the Army.
Still, that was a long time ago.
“How could you not tell me? You couldn’t possibly be getting any sleep or rest. I know you haven’t been eating enough either.”
“Iris.”
“Don’t Iris me,” I scold him. Had I not called him tonight, he probably would’ve never told me. “I don’t know whether to kiss you or slap you.”
“Kiss me,” he begs, hauling me onto his lap. “Even mad, kiss me.”
I do kiss him, but I’m not mad at all.
He’s perfect.
“I missed your fire,” he rasps, clutching me like a lifeline. “How could I go back to an empty bed and sleep peacefully while I’m worried sick that I’m not able to lessen your pain or fix what’s causing it?”
“When I’m in your arms, I’m never in pain.” My voice is soft yet fierce. “I’m coming home tomorrow.”
“Stay at your parents’ as long as you want to, Rainbow. I’ve lived in worse conditions than a car. I’ll be fine.”
“No. I wanted to stay until we went through my dadu’s belongings, which we did today. It was emotional and hard. It was also what I needed. My mom and dad have each other. I’ll keep visiting them. But I want to get back to my life, which is you. It’s what my dadu would’ve wanted too.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am.” Burrowing against his chest, I close my eyes. “You’re all I need to get through this.”