Chapter 13 Maya
Maya
My legs give out as soon as I reach the grand staircase, my lungs burn, desperately trying to fill with oxygen. I’m getting better every day from my secondary drowning incident, but like everything else in my life, it’s one step forward and two steps back.
I hear Ethan approaching behind me. He doesn’t say anything as he sits next to me. My face is buried in my arms, tears streaming down my face. I wish the floor would swallow me up.
We sit in near silence as I cry and cry for what seems like an eternity. I don’t belong here. I belong in a jail cell or run-down shack like the rest of the trash from Whiskey Rivers.
I know I have to face my demons, and I know I have to face my own consequences, but that’s so much easier said than done. I should’ve never left the house that night. If I would’ve just stayed, I could’ve ended it all for myself and not had to worry about facing any more of my demons.
“Hey,” Ethan finally breaks his silence, “going to work for Nick might seem like the end of the world, but I promise it’s not.” Ethan gently rubs my back and to my surprise, I don’t want to run away.
It’s actually somewhat comforting. I almost trust Ethan. He hasn’t been mean or inappropriate towards me.
“How do you put up with him? He’s such an asshole.” I have to cough to clear my throat, my voice is shaky, and I still don’t want to look up. I’m scared Nick will be standing there, too.
“Nick is what most would call an acquired taste. He’s rough and very dry at first but I promise you his intentions are Michelin star.”
I doubt that. Nick looks like a Michelin star-type person but he’s poison, absolutely pure venom.
“I know I’ve dug myself into a hole, but I don’t need his constant reminders that he was the one to pull me out when I didn’t ask for help.” That’s why people like me keep to themselves—when people see you trying to do good, they want to throw the bad in right back in your face.
It reminds me of one of my favorite Jelly Roll songs where he talks about how no matter what he does he’s only judged by his mistakes, and he’ll still be hated even if the good outweighs the bad by a million to one.
That’s the story of my life. I try so hard not to be a burden, to be a huge fuck up, but that’s how people see me. I know what I did was wrong, but a caged rat will fight back eventually.
“I know that and he does too. Don’t give up, ok? I’ve enjoyed having you around, Rivers.” His tone is so soft and gentle I want to believe him.
“I’ve enjoyed being here, with you. I don’t know if I can handle working for him.” He hands me a tissue and I unceremoniously blow my nose. Gross.
“Look, just give it some time. I’ll make you a deal. If you stay here and work hard towards bettering yourself, I’ll dress in drag and do the hula when the job is done.” I stifle a laugh because the look in his bright blue eyes tells me he’s dead serious.
“Isn’t that from The Lion King?” Mama allowed me to watch movies when my dad was gone, and that was one of my favorites.
“Yeah, but I bet I look way better in drag than Timon.” There go those lady-killer eyes and million-dollar smile again. I can’t help but giggle at the thought of Ethan decked out in drag. He would look fabulous.
“Fine. But if it’s ok, I want to go lie down.” I’m exhausted. It wears me out when my anger and rage boil out.
“Take some time for you, no pressure. You can come down when you’re ready. I’ll be outside if you need me.” He gives me a soft pat on my knee and walks outside.
When I reach my room, I note my bed is made and my laundry has been folded and placed neatly on the chair in my room. I wonder who has been in here? Not like I have anything of value, but still.
On the bed there’s a white envelope with Maya written on the back in the most beautiful handwriting. I tear it open and pull out the note tucked neatly inside.
Welcome to Ryker Family Farm!
Dearest Maya,
It’s a pleasure to have you join us. I hope you find everything you need to make your stay as comfortable as possible.
Our home is your home. I will be doing some shopping in a few days if you would like to join me.
Nick tells me you could use some new clothes.
All of your expenses will be covered by the staff account while you are here.
Please let me know if you’d like to join me.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth
P.S. - I’d be delighted if you would come by for a glass of sweet tea in the evenings.
I fold the letter and place it back into the envelope as I start to cry again. I can’t stay here. This is too much for me. After everyone goes to bed, I’m leaving.
I lay on top of the comforter and pull the edge over my body before drifting off to sleep.
It’s dark when I finally wake up. I rub my puffy eyes to clear the sleep from them. Glancing at the clock I see it’s 11:34 p.m. I never nap for that long.
I don’t know where I’m going or how I am going to get there, but it’s time to get a move on. I peek my head out of my bedroom door. The house is dark and quiet. Everyone must be asleep.
I throw my clothes in the duffle bag and creep down the stairs. When I get to the front door, a faint glow and a slight movement from a shadow catch my attention.
Slowing my breathing down, I brave a glance out the window on the side of the door. Shit. Nick’s sitting on the porch looking at his phone.
Slowly I creep back up the stairs. What am I going to do now? I stand in front of my window, get an idea. There’s a roof that overhangs the walkway below my window. I might be able to climb down the column.
My heart is racing, I may not have a lot of time. Nick could decide to come up here and check on me any minute. I’m sure he doesn’t care enough to do that, but I can’t be 100% sure.
He could be waiting to come in here and beat me after he thinks I’ve been asleep like my daddy used to do.
As I’m making my way down the column, I look up and realize I left the window open. Shit. I didn’t mean to leave it open but that doesn’t matter and won’t matter when I’m far away from here.
I slide a shaky hand down the column, looking for the best spot to grip and shimmy my way down. My muscles are screaming in protest, I’m not sure if I’m strong enough for this, but it’s too late to back out now.
The humid air has settled the dew. On my next downward move, the slick column causes me to lose my grip and slide down a little before regaining traction.
My heart jumps to my throat. I’m still ten feet or so from the ground—if I fall, I could be seriously hurt.
Each move has to be executed with precision and I’ve never been very graceful.
After several minutes of careful maneuvering and I’m about a foot or two from the ground, I let go and land in the soft grass.
My heart and breath compete to see which one is going to give out first if I don’t get away from here.
It’s a clear night and the moon is so bright, it illuminates my path to freedom.
I don’t look back as I make my way around the barn and over the fence towards the back pasture, my heart breaking in the process. I wanted it to work out here.
Stopping to admire the beauty of the moon reflecting in the pond, a high-pitched noise catches my attention. I look around for the source but don’t see anything. It sounds like a cat.
“Here, kitty kitty…” I call out, keeping my voice low. I hear it but I can’t see it. There’s a light rustle in the grass by my feet.
I look down and see the tiniest orange and white kitten trying to climb onto my shoe. The kitten looks up at me, meowing frantically. I pick it up and stroke its tiny little head, admiring its little features as it claws at my fingers to get closer to me.
There are no other cats in sight. This one must’ve wandered off from one of the barns.
It’s so tiny, it fits in the palm of my hand. “Hey little guy,” I say to it, “Or are you a girl?” It squirms wildly when I turn it around and look under its tail.
It looks to be a girl, but with the low lighting it’s kind of hard to tell. How sweet. I thought most orange cats were male. My fragile heart crumples at the pure innocence of this tiny little creature that ran to me and trusted me explicitly to pick her up and not harm her.
I’ve never had that much faith in humans. What am I supposed to do? I can’t take her with me. I don’t even have the means to care for myself.
I take a look around. I’m still close to the barns and there’s still plenty of hours left until daylight. If I head back to the barns and find her mama, I can give her back.
Making my way back towards the house, I hold the kitten close to my chest and she falls asleep purring. It’s the sweetest sound that tugs at my heartstrings. I wish I could keep her.
I look up as I approach the house and notice that the window I climbed out of earlier is shut. Fear slams through my body, coursing through my veins. Somebody shut that window and knows I’ve left the house.
Shit. Frantically, I creep around the front to see if Nick is still sitting on the porch. He’s not. Double shit. My heart pounds so hard in my chest I feel it in my ears.
“Looking for someone?” a familiar deep voice growls from behind me, causing me to jump.
“No. I woke up from my nap and decided to take a walk,” I lie, afraid to turn towards him so he can read my face.
“Liar,” he taunts
I spin around to face him, but before I can speak, he raises a hand and cuts me off. “Spare me the bullshit, you don’t need a bag of clothes to go for a walk.”
“I never said I was coming back.” I stand up straight, internally trembling. Fear is telling me to run but I can’t—my body’s frozen.
“Where are you going?” He speaks softer, still menacing.
“Away. I appreciate your offer to help me, but like I said before, I don’t need your charity.” Why can’t he just leave me alone?
“Then, I’ll be having those clothes and bag back.” A wicked grin spreads across his gorgeous face. “All of the clothes, including the ones you’re wearing.” His eyes are alight with humor.
Please tell me he’s not serious.
“What?” I shakily reply, totally not believing what I’m hearing.
“If you don’t need my charity, then give the clothes back you got because of me.” He stands with his arms crossed, unmoving. He’s serious.
“Or what?”
He should have a warning sign flashing above his head because the look he’s giving me is lethal. “Or I will personally remove them from your body.” A grin spreads across his face again and he takes a step closer.
My breath hitches. “You wouldn’t.” Yes, he would, and you know it. I take a step back, getting ready to make a run for it.
“Try me.”
Don’t do it! My internal monologue screams. My body shakes from fear and a hint of something else. Excitement maybe? He takes another step forward, still smiling, and me another step back. He’s enjoying this.
Even without my lungs in a weakened state, I wouldn’t stand a chance in outrunning him, but I’ll try if I have to.
“But I don’t have anything else to wear.” My voice and body are trembling. I should’ve just kept going when I had the chance. I look down to the kitten still curled up by my chest, fast asleep.
He hasn’t noticed it yet—she’s buried in the crook of my elbow—and I’m able to hide her by the way I’m clutching my bag.
“I’ve seemed to miss the point where that’s my problem.” He laughs at me; that jackass thinks it’s funny. “The choice is yours, you can keep the clothes and sit on the porch with me so we can hash this out, or you can let me howl at your full moon as you walk away.”
God, I just want to wipe that fucking sexy smirk off his face.
Oh for fucks sake. “Fine. I’ll sit with you, but only if you talk to me like an adult and don’t order me around.” I don’t have any other choice unless I want to leave here naked.
“Don’t do juvenile things and I won’t.” Nick motions for me to walk in front of him. “After you, cupcake.”
Bastard.