Ethan
Lily was busy at the stove, her back to me, frying bacon and scrambling eggs. Jake and Maddy were hunched over the table, starting through their breakfast.
“Good morning,” I mumbled, and leaned down to plant a kiss on the top of Maddy’s head.
“Hi, Dad,” she replied, focused on her food.
I straightened up, turning to Jake. “Morning, son.”
“Morning,” he grunted, not looking up, shoveling a spoonful of eggs into his mouth.
I headed for the counter and reached for my travel mug. “Morning,” I said to Lily.
“Morning,” she said, her voice tight, keeping her gaze on the hot skillet.
I knew she was still upset with me after the weekend. Saturday had been spent working at the office with Emma, trying to finish up the investigation.
I’d expected a full-blown confrontation when I finally came home, but something worse was waiting for me.
Dead silence. She hadn’t brought up the trip again.
We’d moved around each other like strangers in the same house.
On Sunday, we’d perfected the art of being apart.
I’d retreated to the sanctuary of my office, while she’d spent the entire day at the beach with the kids.
I’d hated every minute of the silence, of ignoring each other.
The hardest part was knowing I’d refused to join them when she’d asked. But I had no choice.
Not only were we wrapping up the investigation, but one of our new clients needed a bulletproof security strategy and secure transportation out of the United States to Germany.
My team and I were neck-deep in formalizing a threat management plan for a client with a documented history of stalking threats.
The stakes were too high to walk away. But was it easy enough to walk away from my family?
The vibration of my phone dragged me from my thoughts. I picked it up, the screen brightening to reveal a text from Emma.
Emma: GM! Coffee’s on, breakfast waiting. Seriously, bring an empty stomach. Got up ridiculously early for you. ??
A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. Emma was consistently reliable and always stepped in when the pressure at work threatened to pull me under. She had become my co-pilot, keeping my schedule organized, my day moving, and, more often than not, my sanity intact.
“Ethan?”
I turned to face Lily. She scooped a generous portion of eggs and added strips of bacon to a plate. She turned sharply, holding it out to me.
“Ah, no, thank you,” I said, the words coming out too quickly.
Her jaw tightened. She set the plate down on the counter with a bang, the ceramic clattering against the granite surface.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, confused.
“Nothing,” she snapped. She started moving around the kitchen, wiping down the counter.
I sighed.
Not wanting to engage in another fight, I poured the coffee into my mug. My mind was already on the refuge of my office.
“I’m headed out,” I announced, halfway to the door. My fingers were just about to wrap around the knob when Lily’s voice stopped me.
“Ethan, wait.”
I paused and looked over my shoulder at Lily.
“Jake has a swim meet tonight,” she said. “It’s his last one of the season. Can you try to make it?”
When was the last time I attended one of his meets? A sharp pang of shame curled in my stomach, biting and relentless.
“What time?” I asked, my voice neutral, betraying nothing of the sudden, internal ache.
“It starts at seven.”
I gave her a curt nod. “I’ll be there.”
With that, I turned and stepped out the door, not daring to look back or offer a kiss goodbye, knowing I didn’t deserve one.
Lily
“Mom, is Dad coming?” Maddy asked, her voice small, as she slid onto the cold metal bench beside me.
I glanced down at her, forcing a tight smile. “I’m not sure, sweet pea.”
She shook her head, her gaze fixed on the starting blocks where Jake was preparing for his turn. “I wish he was here. I know Jake does, too,” she whispered.
I wrapped my arm around her slender shoulders, pulling her close. “I know. I wish he were here, too.” Her head dropped against my shoulder.
At least Ethan’s parents, my parents, and my sister, Sam, were here. But Maddy was right. Deep down, that little boy inside Jake still yearned for his father’s attention, for his father to be present in every aspect of his life, even in the smallest of moments.
Sam’s eyes met mine over Maddy’s head. She mouthed, “Is Ethan coming?”
I offered a helpless shrug. Pulling out my phone, I fired off a quick text to Ethan.
Me: Are you on your way to Jake’s meet?
I waited, my thumb hovering, for the familiar three dots to appear. Nothing. Several minutes later, I sent another text.
Me: Ethan, please answer me.
Still nothing.
With a heavy sigh, I tucked my phone back into my bag.
My gaze lifted just in time to catch Jake scanning the stands.
He flashed a broad, confident smile when our row erupted in cheers for him.
But then his eyes continued their sweep, past Maddy, past Sam, past his grandparents, past me, until they landed on the empty seat on the end, right beside me.
The smile vanished, replaced by a subtle clenching of his jaw, revealing his disappointment.
I offered him a weak, reassuring smile, praying he could see the apology in my eyes, wishing I could somehow absorb the pain I knew he felt.
But it wouldn’t change anything, especially not today.
Jake was swimming in the breaststroke event, ranked number one on his team, a title he’d worked hard for.
He had put in countless hours of training, perfecting his technique.
It wasn’t only about making us proud, but his dedication to something he loved.
He was like Ethan in that way. Watching his father achieve so much through his own dedication inspired him to put in the effort needed to pursue his dream of possibly making it to the Olympics.
Yet the absence of his father was a painful reminder that Ethan was letting him down by not being present and sharing this important moment with him.
At the referee’s sharp whistle, the swimmers leaned forward.
“Take your mark!” he bellowed, his voice echoing across the pool.
Jake stepped onto the block, adjusted his goggles, and stared down the lane. He bent his knees, his fingers gripping the front edge of the block.
A second whistle pierced the air.
Jake exploded like a human torpedo slicing into the water.
His arms stretched out, carving through the liquid, then swept powerfully out and back several times before his head broke the surface for his first breath.
His legs executed a powerful frog kick, heels flicking outward, propelling him forward with incredible force.
“Go, go, go, go!” Maddy chanted, clapping.
“You got this, Jake!” Sam and the grandparents’ voices boomed.
Jake settled into a powerful, almost hypnotic rhythm of pulling, breathing, kicking, and gliding.
Approaching the wall, he touched it with both hands, elbows bent, executing a flawless breaststroke turn. He planted his feet firmly on the wall, knees tucked, and pushed off in a tight, streamlined glide, already halfway down the return lap.
“Go, Jake!” I screamed, clapping wildly, a fierce surge of pride and love swelling in my chest.
“Oh, my God! He’s going to win first place!” Maddy shrieked.
On the very last stroke, he lunged forward, finishing with a two-hand touch.
“Yeah!” A collective roar erupted from our section. We all clapped and whistled, celebrating his victory.
He lifted his head, breathing hard, his chest heaving, and glanced at the scoreboard. A triumphant grin split his face as he threw his fist into the air. His teammates swarmed him, patting him on the back, lifting him in a boisterous celebration.
He turned to me, his eyes bright, and lifted his fist again in a silent salute. I blew him a kiss.
An unshakable sorrow clung to me at the thought of his father missing yet another important moment in Jake’s life. He should’ve been the one standing here beside me, glowing with pride and telling his son how incredible he is. But instead, he missed it. Again.
I didn’t know how many more chances Jake would offer. If anything, Ethan may have already blown it with his son.
And there wasn’t a single thing I could do to fix it.
“Mom! Can I go with Auntie Sam?” Maddy asked, bouncing in place. “I wanna wait for Jake to get out of the locker room.”
I looked over at Sam. She was already chuckling, looking down at her niece with a soft expression. “I’ve got her,” she told me.
“Okay, sweet pea,” I replied.
She leaped off the bleachers, grabbing Sam’s hand and dragging her toward the locker room.
Once they were out of sight, Erica, Ethan’s mom, flashed a bright smile in my direction and pulled me into a tight hug. “Oh, Lily. Jake was amazing.”
“He really was,” I agreed, returning her hug.
She pulled back, her eyes searching mine, a small frown creasing her brow. “I thought Ethan was going to make it tonight.”
I forced a shrug, a familiar knot tightening in my stomach. “He’s working late.”
“Oh.” Her smile faltered. “He’s been… working late nights often?” she asked.
“Yes. He’s been really busy,” I said, hoping my face didn’t betray the exhaustion I felt from repeating that line.
Erica opened her mouth as if to speak, but her husband, James, stepped in, his arm around my shoulders, before he leaned down to kiss my cheek. “My favorite daughter-in-law.”
I managed a small chuckle. “I’m your only daughter-in-law, James.”
“Okay, then. My favorite only daughter-in-law,” he corrected.
I shook my head, amused. “You’re too sweet.”
His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes as he looked around. “And you’re too sweet for my son, who, as I can see, is missing tonight. Again.”
My shoulders tensed. “He got caught up with work.”
His eyebrows crinkled, the jovial mask slipping. He gestured vaguely toward the ground with his chin. “He knew about this, right?”
I nodded.
“James,” Erica warned gently, her hand on his arm. “Let’s not make a scene. Not here.”
He glared at her, his jaw tightening. “He missed his own son’s last meet of the season, Erica. That is not okay. I sure as hell didn’t teach him that.”
“Mom!” Maddy’s excited voice cut through the tension as she ran toward us, Sam and my parents following close behind. “Jake’s coming out!”
I offered Maddy a quick, strained smile, then turned back to my in-laws, my voice dropping to a plea so no one else could hear. “Please. Don’t let Jake know how upset you are that Ethan isn’t here. Not tonight.”
“But sweetheart—” James started, his voice thick with frustration. I respectfully raised my hand, cutting him off.
“Please,” I pleaded again. “It’s between Ethan and me. Just…” I trailed off, turning as Jake’s teammates began to spill out of the locker room doors.
“We won’t, sweetheart,” Erica assured me, her grip tight on my hand.
I gave her a small, thankful smile. James wrapped his arms around his wife’s shoulders, a silent acknowledgment. “Okay, Lily.”
“Thank you.”
My parents, Richard and Coral Carter, were suddenly before me, pulling me into a giant bear hug.
Mom and Dad then moved to greet Ethan’s parents.
“Are you doing okay?” Sam asked quietly, rubbing my back.
“Yeah. It’s Jake’s night,” I whispered, taking a deep breath. “Let’s keep it that way.”
She nodded, her expression grim but understanding.
Jake emerged from the locker room, flanked by two of his best friends, his face flushed with exertion and pride, a big, goofy smile stretching across it.
“There he is! The man of the hour!” Dad shouted, clapping loudly.
Jake laughed and accepted the hugs from the grandfathers.
My dad’s eyes shone with pride, and he drew Jake against him. “You showed real heart out there, son, and discipline when it counted,” he murmured. “That’s the kind of man you’re becoming, and that’s what matters most. Congratulations.”
“Thanks for coming, Poppa,” Jake said as Dad released him.
“We’ll always show up for you, Jake,” he promised.
Jake nodded, a subtle warmth softening his gaze. His smile flickered a bit, as if he was momentarily overwhelmed.
Then both grandmothers swooped in, wrapping him in affectionate hugs and showering him with kisses.
When he finally made it to me, I pulled him into a fierce embrace.
“I am so proud of you, honey. You were awesome,” I raved, trying to pour all my love and pride into those words and my touch.
“Thanks, Mom,” he muttered.
But as I held him, the warmth of his victory couldn’t chase away his father’s absence.