Lily
The front door opened and closed, followed by keys clinking against the bowl in the entryway.
He entered the kitchen, his steps faltering when he saw me. He quickly turned away and loosened his tie, the red one I had given him for Christmas four years ago. “You’re still up,” he muttered. His tone was heavy with exhaustion as he stalked toward the refrigerator.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “I was waiting up for you.”
He nodded in response.
I cleared my throat and added, “You missed one hell of a swim match tonight. Your son was amazing.”
“Did he win?” he asked, turning to face me.
“Yes. And he missed you.”
We missed you.
I missed you.
He broke eye contact and opened the fridge. “Yeah, well, I’m sure he’s used to me not being there by now.”
I flinched as if he had struck me. “How can you say that? All he wanted was for his father to be present. To be there. For him. Cheering him on just like every other parent out there.”
He popped the cap off the beer with a twist and threw the metal cap onto the counter, where it skittered loudly. He took a long, aggressive swallow.
“I’m not every other parent, Lily,” he said slowly.
“What the hell does that even mean?” I demanded, finally letting the anger break through.
He leaned back against the counter, his eyes burning holes through me.
“It means I work my ass off every single goddamn day to ensure you and our children have everything you could possibly need. I’m sure Jake will eventually understand when his father misses a match or two so he can have the best of everything. ”
I reared back. Was this what he really thought of his family?
“We don’t care about those things!” I hissed, my hands balling into fists at my sides, fighting the urge to grab the beer and throw it against the wall. “We don’t want ‘the best of everything.’ We want you. Just you! Why is that so difficult for you to understand?”
I turned sharply on my heel and walked out before I said something I couldn’t take back.
Ethan
I was a piece of shit.
A pathetic, selfish piece of shit.
I’d planned on going to Jake’s swim meet, but I couldn’t get away in time.
Instead, I found myself at dinner with a new multimillionaire client, going through the contract details, and the client dragged the meeting out.
By the time I noticed Lily’s message, it was too late to apologize.
Too late to beg for her forgiveness. Too late to make it time for Jake’s meet.
My Lily, my beautiful, intelligent, sweet, and goddamn sexy wife, didn’t deserve this. Not a single goddamn bit of it. My Lily deserved the world, to be worshipped and loved by someone who wasn’t a broken mess like me.
I yanked open the fridge door, and my chest cracked, splitting right down the middle. A plate with food neatly wrapped waited for me, a cupcake-shaped sticky note plastered on top: Hi Daddy! I gave you extra veggies. Love you! Maddy
Goddammit.
The half-full bottle of beer in my hand suddenly felt heavy. I poured the rest of the amber liquid down the drain and leaned my hands on the edge of the counter, resisting the urge to smash my head against the tiles, to physically jar some sense back into my skull.
I forced myself up the stairs, the anger and self-loathing propelling me forward, until I stood outside Lily’s door. Our door.
I pressed my ear against the cool wood, listening to the soft rhythm of her breathing. It was the only sound that kept the walls from closing in, the only thing stopping me from completely losing my goddamn mind.