Twenty-four
Ethan
"How is Lily doing?” Marcus asks when I call. I lean against the patio door watching Jake, Maddy, and Ollie swim in the pool.
I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. “She’s having a better day today.”
“I’m glad you’re there, man. You’re doing the right thing, taking the time off.”
I smile faintly. “I’m not leaving her side again, Marcus.”
“I know, man,” he says softly. “I know.”
I quickly divert the topic. “So, how are things holding up at the office?”
“Still standing, man. It’s busy, but I got this,” he reassures me.
“I know you do. I wouldn’t have handed you the keys if I didn’t have faith in you.”
“Temporarily,” he stresses. “You’ll be back when Lily is one hundred percent. And when she is, we’re shutting the place down for a day and throwing a proper celebration. She is going to beat this thing.”
I nod, a familiar lump in my throat. “Yeah,” I mutter.
“Ethan?”
I turn around to see Lily standing in the archway, eyes and nose red from crying, holding something in her hands.
“I have to go, Marcus.”
“Alright. Talk later,” he says.
Tucking my phone back into my pocket, I make my toward Lily. “What’s going on? Have you been crying?”
Her lips quiver, and I follow her gaze down to her hands. And that’s when I see it.
Nestled in her palms are clumps of her beautiful golden locks.
“It’s already starting,” she whispers.
“Oh, Sunshine. Come here.” I pull her into my arms, and she melts against me, her body shaking with the weight of what she’s facing.
As her sobs begin to quiet, she pulls back a little, resting her chin against my chest.
She looks up at me with tear-filled eyes that hold a glimmer of determination. “I want you to cut my hair. It’s time,” she says, her voice hoarse, followed by a soft sniffle.
I cup her face in my hands, my thumbs wiping away the lingering tears. My own eyes burn. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she affirms, her gaze unwavering.
I scan her eyes for a long minute, searching, hoping for a sign of hesitation. But there is none. Only the heartbreaking truth. This is her way of accepting her reality. But it doesn’t mean she has to face it alone.
“Okay. Why don’t you pull yourself together, and I’ll have everything ready,” I suggest.
She nods, and I press a soft kiss to her forehead.
As she disappears around the corner and up the stairs, the patio doors slide open. The kids rush inside, laughing and chattering.
“I am soooooo hungry,” Maddy groans, wrapped in her beach towel, her hair still damp from the pool. Jake and Ollie, cocooned in matching towels, trail behind her.
“Can I have a moment with you guys?” I ask, motioning for them to sit at the table. I pull out a chair and settle in.
“What’s going on?” Jake asks, taking his place across from me.
Maddy and Ollie sit opposite each other.
I lean in, my hands interlaced on the table. “Your mom’s hair is starting to fall out, and she’s understandably struggling with it. She’s asked me to cut it all off.”
Jake’s face drops, his eyes focused on the table. Maddy’s lips tremble slightly, and I catch a glimpse of tears shimmering in her eyes.
Ollie lowers his head, resting it on his folded arms atop the table, quietly absorbing everything. “That makes Mom sad.”
“Yes, it does, buddy. Very sad.”
“I don’t want to see Mom sad anymore,” Ollie says softly. The look of fierce protectiveness shining in his young eyes reminds me so much of Jake and how devoted he is to Lily.
I offer him a small smile, my heart aching with love for this boy, who, though not my biological son, feels like he is already mine.
“Me either, buddy.”
I turn to each of them and say, “Which is why I’m going to cut my hair too.”
Maddy gasps.
“I want to support your mother,” I explain, “so she doesn’t have to face this alone.”
“I want to support Mama. Can I cut my hair too?” Ollie asks.
I look at him and smile. “I don’t think your mom is going to like that idea, but you can be my little helper and make sure she’s comfortable. What do you think?”
His face lights up. “I can do that!”
“Then I’m cutting my hair too,” Jake proclaims, lifting his chin as if daring me to fight him on it.
“You don’t have to follow my lead, Jake. She doesn’t expect you—”
“I know, Dad,” he interrupts. “But I want to.”
Pride swells in my chest as I nod in agreement. “Okay, then. Let’s plan to meet out on the patio in one hour.”
Lily
The evening sky sparkles with twinkling stars. A gentle breeze rustles through the trees, the branches swaying gracefully.
I glance over my shoulder to see Ethan gripping the clippers in his hand.
“Are you ready?” I ask.
He swallows hard as if grappling with an overwhelming wave of emotion. Turning his head away, he covers his mouth with his hand. A gruff sound slips from him, something between a sob and a sniffle.
My heart, already heavy, aches for him. This isn’t only my struggle; it’s his, too.
He has to witness my gradual fading every day, and I can only imagine how unbearable that must be for him.
If I were in his position, I would find it incredibly difficult to cope with the relentless sadness of seeing someone I care about in so much pain.
I reach out, touching his forearm. “Hey. It’s okay. I’m ready. I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”
In that simple moment of contact, his handsome face reveals a battlefield of emotions. It contorts to an expression of anguish for a split second before he quickly masks it, attempting to maintain his strength for the children and for me. But who is going to be strong for him?
He nods several times and blows out a ragged breath. I turn to look at my children, who are gathered in front of me on the ground, Ollie perched in Maddy’s lap.
With a click, the clippers whirl to life. As the blades glide against my scalp, a tear trickles down Maddy’s cheek. The first section of hair falls away, cascading down like a waterfall onto the pavers.
Another swipe, and another. I catch a glimpse of Jake, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears as he turns away. He pulls Maddy close, and she buries her face in his chest.
Oh, my babies.
I clear my throat. “Hey, guys. It’s only hair. It’ll grow back.”
They both nod, dabbing at their tears. Meanwhile, Ollie remains silent, his gaze locked on Ethan and the clippers in his hand.
“Shouldn’t have done this on a windy day, huh?” Ethan says through a strained half-chuckle, but I hear the sharp intake of his breath.
His breathing falters, turning into soft, wet sniffles that tug at my heartstrings. The clippers come to an abrupt stop. I glance back to see him stepping back unsteadily, his chest heaving.
I desperately want to wrap my arms around him and help alleviate his pain.
Without warning, Ollie dashes by me and pulls on Ethan’s shirt. “It’s okay,” he whispers, his little voice so pure. “Mama wants this. Remember, you said we have to make her happy.”
Ethan scoops Ollie into his arms, crushing him against his chest, and buries his face in his hair. His body shakes with silent, heart-wrenching sobs.
I can hear my three-year-old son murmuring reassurances that everything will be okay. I turn away, the edges of my vision blurring, trying not to break down. It hurts in the deepest part of my soul to witness my children in distress while my ex-husband seeks comfort from a preschooler.
Ethan takes a moment to gather himself, his eyes red-rimmed and the skin around them swollen. He peers down at me, his lips forming a deep frown, and sorrow darkens his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Sunshine.”
“Please don’t apologize, Ethan,” I whisper, my throat constricting. “It’s okay. Really.” I extend my hand toward his, and he bends down, his lips meeting mine in a tender, lingering kiss.
I close my eyes, lost in the familiar sensation as I savor the moment. His lips are soft and gentle, igniting those butterflies in my stomach that I thought had long since faded.
He pulls away and lifts the clippers back to my head. Ollie seizes the chance to grasp my hand firmly. “I’ll hold your hand, Mommy.”
I manage a shaky smile. “Thank you, baby.”
He settles down in front of me, still clutching my hand. Meanwhile, Ethan shaves away my hair.
I keep my eyes fixed on the shimmering surface of the pool to keep me distracted.
Suddenly, Ollie shifts, pulling my attention downward. That’s when I see it—my golden strands pooling around me like autumn leaves. In that instant, the fragile band holding my emotions together snaps completely, and tears flow down my cheeks.
I fought so hard to remain strong for my children, for Ethan, yet watching a part of who I am slip away isn’t something I thought I would ever experience.
The whir of the clippers dies down, and a breeze washes over my naked head, a reminder that my hair is gone.
Ollie leaps to his feet and envelops me in a hug. “Don’t cry, Mama. It’s okay. You’re still beautiful.”
Ethan sniffles and inhales unsteadily. “Yes, she is. She will always be beautiful.” He places his hands on the sides of my face, his lips brushing my bare scalp for a moment longer than necessary. “My Sunshine.”
My shoulders tremble with the force of my silent sobs. I reach for his hands and hold onto him tightly. He encircles me with his arms, drawing me close to him, and buries his face in the curve of my neck. “Always beautiful,” he whispers against my skin.
Jake and Maddy join us, wrapping their arms around me. I hold them tight, pressing them close, trying to absorb their warmth and love.
“I love you so much,” I tell them, showering kisses all over their heads, cheeks, and hair.
Jake and Ethan step backward, clippers in hand. I tilt my head in confusion.
They shoot each other a look, an unspoken understanding passing between them. I open my mouth to ask what the heck is going on, but they lift the clippers at the same time before I have a chance.
My eyes widen in panic.
“No!” I shout, but it’s too late.
With mischievous smiles on their faces, they begin at the temples, the blades pulling away strips of hair, exposing the pale skin beneath. They take their time, each soft strand falling away piece by piece.