Twenty-four #2
“Oh my God! Why would you do that?” I exclaim, a mix of laughter and tears spilling from me.
A flicker of light catches my eye, and I steal a glance to the side. Maddy’s lips curl into a watery smile, and she snaps pictures with her phone.
“I told you, Lily,” Ethan says. “You are not doing this alone. We are with you every step of the way.”
My heart swells at his words.
I watch as they share a few soft laughs, the clippers buzzing, tackling the last bits on the sides, then work their way to the back of their heads. As the final strands fall, Ethan takes a deep breath, running a hand over his buzz cut. Jake mirrors him, his eyes wide.
“Wow. It feels weird,” Jake says, looking directly at me. “Hey, Mom! We’re twins now!” He throws his hand in the air, laughter bursting out of him.
Jake comes and stands in front of me, and I run my fingers over his freshly shaved head. “You still look handsome,” I whisper.
“Having no hair doesn’t make you less beautiful, Mom,” Jake says. He leans down, placing a kiss on my bare head. “It makes you a warrior. And I’m proud to fight this battle alongside you.” His voice breaks on the last words, and I pull him into another tight hug.
“I love you, my sweet boy.”
“Love you, too.”
He steps back, wiping his tears with his arm.
Jake glances at Ethan for a moment before approaching him.
Without a single word, Ethan gathers him into his arms. Even amidst such sadness and uncertainty about the future, this moment draws them all together.
And that, above all else, is all I can ever wish for.
Once they separate, Jake says, “I’ll go grab a broom and help clean up.” He gestures to the pile of hair before heading inside.
Maddy approaches, kissing my head. “You look really cool, Mom. Like a badass,” she remarks, making me laugh.
Tears well in her eyes, and she wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “I love you, Mom. Just promise me you won’t give up, okay?”
I nod firmly. “I promise, baby.”
We hold each other before Maddy steps back, and I turn my attention to Ollie. “So, what do you think of my new look?”
He beams at me with that endearing grin of his. “I like it,” he says, sweet and straightforward. “Can I kiss it too?” he asks eagerly.
“Absolutely,” I reply, leaning down enough for him to plant a soft kiss on my head.
“I’m going to give you lots of kisses,” he says happily, his small hand softly rubbing it. “You’re still my mama, even without your hair.”
Overcome with emotion, I take a deep breath. “Thank you, Ollie. That means so much to me.”
I wrap my arms around him before kissing his cheek. “How about we get you ready for bed?”
He nods. “Will you read me a story?”
“Of course. I’ll be there in a minute,” I promise, playfully tapping his bottom.
“Come on, Ollie. I’ll help you get ready,” Maddy says, reaching out her hand.
“Okay!” he exclaims, skipping toward her. But then he suddenly halts, turning to run toward Ethan.
With a hopeful look in his eyes, he asks, “Did I do okay?”
Ethan crouches down, his smile lighting up his face as he meets Ollie’s excited gaze. “You were an awesome helper today,” he praises.
Ollie beams and throws his arms around Ethan’s neck. Ethan closes his eyes, returning his hug.
“Good night,” Ollie whispers.
“Good night, buddy.”
With his smile still lingering, Ollie sprints back to Maddy, and together they disappear into the house.
I glance over at Ethan and find him looking at me with an intensity that makes my breath catch. He looks at me as if I am the most beautiful person in the world.
Ethan
I step closer to Lily and extend my hand to her.
Without hesitation, her slender finger slips into mine. I scroll through my endless playlist until I find the one. Setting my phone down on the small table, I press play. The opening chords of “If You Love Her” by Forest Blakk drift into the air.
A radiant smile breaks across her lips, lighting up her entire face. My Sunshine.
I wrap my arms around her, drawing her close, until there’s no space left between us. One hand finds the curve of her waist while the other grasps her hand, pressing it against the steady beat of my heart.
Our bodies sway, the music wrapping around us, shielding us from the harsh realities waiting just beyond this moment.
“Thank you, Ethan,” Lily whispers, “for what you did today.”
I glance down at her, a smile easing the tightness in my chest. She caresses my stubbled head with affection.
“I can’t believe you did that,” she says.
“Don’t you know by now, Lily?” I ask, my gaze holding hers. “I would do anything for you.”
A soft sigh escapes her as her hand, warm and tender, glides down my cheek. “I know it wasn’t easy to do,” she adds, her eyes searching mine.
My smile falters.
No, it wasn’t easy.
The weight of the clippers in my hand felt like I was being trampled by a stampede of bulls crushing me into the ground.
What if the treatments don’t work? Does that mean more treatments?
Or will that be the end of her life, the end of us?
The mere thought of a life without Lily, a world without her laughter, her presence, is a suffocating, unbearable darkness. I wouldn’t be able to survive it.
She rests her head on my chest, a perfect fit, as we continue to sway to the music, lost in our own world. I press my lips to her bare head, and she lets out a soft, contented sound.
I want to tell her how much I love her, how every beat of my heart belongs to her, how the thought of losing her scares the hell out of me.
But I don’t think she’s ready to hear those words, not yet.
Not when the future is so uncertain. For now, I’ll hold her.
I’ll be her anchor and her shield. I’ll give her whatever she needs to help her get through this.