Chapter 20
James
The moment that Hallie’s lips touched mine, life was breathed back into me.
Kissing her was unlike any other experience I’d ever had.
Both times I’d kissed her nearly brought me to my knees.
Hallie was taking her time. Her hands exploring my chest. Then my back as her fingers dug into the muscles there.
My hands shook at my sides as I did everything I could to be patient.
To not reach out and scare her away by moving too quickly.
My chest ached and my heart throbbed as she pulled back, her eyes searching mine for something she apparently didn’t find because she reached back up on her tiptoes to press her lips against mine again.
This time, it wasn’t me devouring her. This time, she was voraciously consuming everything in her path. Just under one week after our first, I got to kiss Hallie Woods again and somehow it was impossibly better this time around.
Hallie’s hands smoothed up my chest and back around to the nape of my neck, where she pulled at the hair just long enough for her to get a grip on. The moment she pulled me in closer to her, the rest of my resolve snapped. My thumbs found her cheekbones as our lips hungrily devoured each other.
We kissed.
And we moaned.
And we kissed some more.
I was nearly flying high above us as Hallie staked her claim on me.
Tongues danced. Teeth nipped at my bottom lip.
Her fingers sank further into my hair. The silence of the room stretching around us.
The only sounds were our lips, our breaths mingling in the air between us, and the soft moans from Hallie.
After kissing Hallie last week, I hadn’t realized that this was what I wanted.
While she’d kissed me back the moment my lips touched hers for the first time, there had still been some hesitancy behind her movements.
Now all her inhibitions had evaporated. No longer was there hesitation behind each of her kisses.
There was only us .
And I wanted more.
My hands smoothed over the curve of her ass, relishing in the way it fit in my palms. Then the backs of her thighs as I lifted her off the ground. Hallie wrapped her legs around my waist and the word home slipped through my mind.
“How is it possible for someone to be this incredible?” I whispered into her ear as I walked us toward the bed.
Desire was flooding my body, heating me up from the inside out. Fueled by the feel of Hallie’s warm, soft skin beneath my fingers. The way our lips melded together perfectly .
But the moment that my thighs hit the side of the bed, and I lowered Hallie down to the mattress was like a douse of ice-cold water.
“Wait.”
Hallie looked up at me from the bed. She looked beautiful. It made it nearly impossible for me to understand the words coming out of her mouth.
“We should stop. We need to stop.”
A shiver ran the length of my spine as all the heat leaked from the room, leaving a chill in its place.
“What’s wrong?” I took a few steps back, giving her space. The look in her eyes ripped a tear in my heart. It was one full of regret.
“We shouldn’t do this.” Hallie shook her head slowly. Her gaze remained fixed on my chest, and a second tear formed in my heart when she avoided my eyes. “It was never supposed to turn into this. We had a deal. This wasn’t part of the deal.”
The moonlight streaming in from outside highlighted a sheen in her eyes.
I took another step back.
She was right. This wasn’t part of our deal. It was five dates for a review of my family’s restaurant. That was it. We didn’t agree to actually like each other. Attraction wasn’t part of our agreement. Kissing wasn’t part of the plan. None of this was part of the plan.
Fuck the plan.
But we both agreed in the beginning, and I wouldn’t dare stray from our agreement if she wasn’t in this with me.
So even though it pained me, I whispered, “Okay.”
Then without another word or look in her direction, I backed out of the room, shutting the door behind me.
Sebastian and Roxie still hadn’t come back inside, so I disappeared into our bathroom.
I was too numb to feel the water on my skin.
Everything that had just happened replaying on a loop in my mind.
I leaned my forehead against the tiles of the shower, doing nothing to quell the heat that was still sitting just under my skin. She had been right there at my fingertips. Her lips had been on mine. She had been mine , if only for a few minutes.
My hand wrapped around my cock as I relived those blissful moments when I had Hallie in my arms. When she’d kissed me back. When she’d wanted me as much as I wanted her. I replayed those breathy sounds she’d moaned in my ear.
I tightened my grip as a moan of my own slipped out. My hand slipped up and down my length faster and faster as those stolen minutes with Hallie replayed again … and again … and again .
Until it became too much, and I came with the sound of her name on my lips.
A mixture of shame and desire twisted in my gut.
The regret in Hallie’s eyes had nearly broken my heart in two.
I couldn’t stand to think that she wished she hadn’t kissed me.
That she wished she hadn’t held me in her arms. I knew it was fear driving that regret.
She was afraid of what it meant to let herself like me.
To let herself be with me outside of the confines of our deal.
She had everything laid out. Five dates. Five articles. Then her dream job. She had never meant to keep me after those five dates. To have feelings for me outside of gratitude for helping her achieve her dream job.
But the only thing I truly knew was now that I had a taste of her, there was no chance I was going to let her go.
“When did you get to bed last night?” I asked Sebastian the next morning as we sat at the table by the pool, sipping our coffees.
“I think three?” Sebastian’s forehead creased, a clear sign he was squinting, despite the sunglasses protecting his eyes from the sun.
“What’s going on with you and Roxie?” When I left Sebastian’s and my room this morning, their door remained closed, and no light seeped from under it. I wasn’t sure if I should feel relieved or sad to have more time before I had to face Hallie after last night.
“Nothing’s going on with me and Roxie.” Sebastian’s voice matched the stiffness in his shoulders at the mention of Hallie’s best friend. “We were simply enjoying a beer together.”
“Pretty sure it was more than one beer,” I corrected him.
Sebastian waved me off. “Semantics.”
“I’m not sure it’s nothing when every time she stares daggers at you, you smile like you get some sort of sick joy from it.”
Only proving my point that he was some sort of sadistic asshole. He smiled.
“Roxie fascinates me.” He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “That’s all.”
“Whatever it is, don’t use her and toss her aside once you grow tired of her, like you do every other girl you’ve ever been with.”
Sebastian clutched at his heart. “You wound me, James.”
“And you act like I’m over-exaggerating.”
The sound of dishes clattering drew our attention toward the kitchen. Roxie and Hallie had finally emerged, showered and ready for the day ahead. “Roxie King is an enigma, James. One that I intend to understand. But what about you? What time did you go to bed last night?”
The lift of Sebastian’s eyebrow was a sure sign that he wouldn’t believe me if I told him I’d gone to bed after we’d returned from dinner. And while that was the truth, it was the truth with the most important moments of the night left out.
Normally, I shared everything with Sebastian. I bounced ideas and questions off him, with his vast experience with women. But those moments were between me and Hallie. They weren’t for Sebastian to dissect or pass an opinion on.
I plastered on a smile and ignored the look on Sebastian’s face that told me he knew I was lying. Thankfully, Roxie and Hallie saved me by joining us for breakfast before Sebastian could make me tell the truth.
“Good morning,” Hallie greeted the two of us. I’d half expected her to avoid making eye contact with me after last night. But to my surprise, she smiled at me like she hadn’t rejected me mid-make out.
“Good morning. How’d you sleep?” I watched her over the rim of my coffee cup.
Waiting to see that same flash of regret I’d seen in her eyes last night.
To see some semblance of acknowledgment of what had happened between us.
Instead, she looked at me like last night had never happened.
She smiled at me with the same sincerity she’d had before we’d arrived home from dinner.
It almost made me wonder if I’d dreamed everything that had happened between us. Maybe my mind had just done a really good job of imagining how Hallie tasted. How her lips felt against mine. How her hands roamed across the muscles in my back and along my stomach.
“I slept great. Thanks for asking. So, what did you have planned for our second day?”
“I thought we’d take the sailboat out. Have either of you sailed before?”
Roxie perked up. She had yet to speak a word since joining us and her silence was off-putting.
I’d come to know Roxie’s vibrant energy during the past couple of months of shared moments, her cheerful voice a constant presence among us.
While Hallie was still bubbly and outgoing in her own right, she always hung back when Roxie was in the picture.
She followed Roxie’s lead, never attempting to take the lead on purpose.
It was like watching a well-oiled machine, their movements precise and effortless, a dance honed by years of friendship.
Roxie’s usual confidence was gone the second we walked in.
“Roxie and I can go pack some sandwiches while you guys get the boat ready, if you’d like?” The smile that Hallie gave me had been hard enough to witness before without wanting to wrap her hair around my fist and yank her mouth to mine. But now, it was nearly unbearable.
“That sounds great.” My voice came out softer than I intended as I stared at the girl who I’d spent all night thinking about.
The second that I’d closed the door to the primary behind me last night, leaving Hallie on the other side, I’d replayed everything that had just happened.
Even after Sebastian had stumbled into the room, plastered from how much he’d drunk with Roxie.
Even after Sebastian had gotten up to puke his guts out.
I’d only shut my eyes for a few brief hours before the sun broke through the curtains.
I’d woken up with the same person on my mind, like an endless loop.
Watching Hallie attempt to flirt with my peers in Whiskey Locker had been torturous.
Finally, getting to kiss the woman that I thought I’d have to figure out how to get over once this deal was done had been wondrous.
Being forced to pretend that none of it had ever happened …
I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the rest of this weekend.