Chapter 18 #2
“He hasn’t said anything since he’s been here. My mother and I were talking and I got a little emotional, that’s all. You know my emotions are up and down.”
“Are you going to tell me what she said or am I going to go out there and ask her what the hell she said to you to have you in this bathroom crying?”
I bite my lip and stall as long as I can. I’m going to have to tell him. I don’t want to. If I could only find a way to keep him in this bathroom—away from my family.
“You don’t want to tell me. I’m not asking—she’s going to tell me what she said, Jay and I are going to rip each other apart. Start talking before I go back out there.”
“Promise me—” I pause with my eyes welling up with tears and look in his eyes hoping my unshed tears have some effect on him, “—you won’t go out there and get into a fight with Jay or my mother.”
He straightens up to his full height and looks down at me. My tears are not having the effect I want, they’re making him angry.
“I’m not promising anything. Tell me.”
I hold on to his shirtsleeves and put my head on his chest and practically beg. “Please, please. Don’t go out there and go off the rails. I can’t deal with it.”
He takes a deep calming breath, and my head rises and falls on his chest. His hand strokes over my back. “I won’t go off the rails depending on what you tell me.”
“My mother asked me if we could talk. We went into your office and she asked me how I was doing. I told her I was fine. She said it was nice to see me and she missed me. I said I missed her too. I did. We talked about my job and how I liked it. We were having a decent conversation. Then somehow the conversation led to Kate.” I stop and wait for him to say something, stretching out the time.
The longer it takes me to tell him the better.
“And?”
His hands on my back, I keep my head firmly planted on his chest. “She said she didn’t tell Kate I was pregnant yet. She was waiting for the right time, but wasn’t sure when would be the right time to tell her that her sister’s having a baby with her ex-fiancé.”
“Why is this your problem? Didn’t she come here to work things out with you?”
That’s what I thought. “She asked me if it was the right time for me to have a baby, with everything going on with the family. Maybe I could consider other permanent alternatives if it would be what’s best for the family and Kate’s fragile state.
Maybe Kate could get over us being together but the other thing she isn’t certain of.
I have time to have other children…preferably with someone else.
She wanted me to-to…have an abor—” I can’t bring myself to say it.
I love this baby. This pregnancy was a complete shock, but not once—ever—did the thought cross my mind to terminate.
That my mother would suggest it…it hurts.
She should have come out and said she wanted me to have an abortion. She didn’t have to go through the whole conversation like she cared.
Nick’s hands slide away from me, and I realize my head isn’t moving up and down on his chest and his body has gone rigid. I hear him say low and harsh, “She’s a bitch.”
I step back, glancing up to gage his reaction.
Seeing his anger, I start to panic at what he’s going to do out there.
I have to calm him down before he goes and does something that he wouldn’t regret, but I would.
I place my hands on my belly and say the first thing that comes to my mind, which is the truth.
“She didn’t know how far along I am.” That was the wrong thing to say.
“That makes it okay?”
He turns, slamming the door shut with his fist, making me cringe, shutting my eyes tight. The tears I’ve been holding back fall when the door slams shut and my eyes close.
“No!” I say as calmly as possible, considering my significant other is making me uneasy, punching doors shut.
“Then we’re on the same page,” he says, turning around, his chest heaving, betraying the calm in his voice.
“Calm down, I don’t want this to escalate.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down. This is as calm as I’m going to get. I didn’t want them here because I knew they were going to try some shit like this.”
He opens the door and walks out, leaving me to wipe away my tears and groan inwardly at what’s about to happen. I hear his voice loud and clear, roaring through the air from the living room.
“I want all of you to get out!”
I half run, half walk in my expanding condition to stop things from getting out of control and fists from flying.
Not that I’m going to get in between them—I have more sense than that— but I can try to stop it before it starts.
When I reach them, my hands on my side, out of breath from my short run, Jay is moving toward Nick, who is standing on the opposite side of my family.
“What?” Jay says, his fist clenched tight. I stand in front of Nick, breathing hard with a mixture of adrenaline and fear. With concern in his eyes, Jay turns to me. The look isn’t something I wasn’t expecting to see from him today.
“You heard me. Get the hell out,” Nick says over my head.
Chris steps up behind Jay and puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him from getting any closer to Nick. I’m glad he’s here. My dad steps to Jay’s other side and he has a look of utter disdain and disgust across his face looking at Nick.
“My daughter asked us over here to talk. From what I heard in there I’m not sure she should be here with you by herself.”
“Daddy, I’m fine. Nick wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Are you sure about that, baby girl? He seems to have a temper. Are you sure this is where you want to be?”
Nick puts his hand on my shoulder, and Jay leans in, but the hand Chris has on him stops him from getting closer. Keeping his eyes on Nick, he asks me, “Cat, are you okay?”
Nick drops his hand from my shoulder and says, “Give me a fucking break, are you kidding me? Now you’re concerned about her, after how many months? She’s almost six months pregnant with my child. We’ve been living together for over three.”
I turn to him, my hands on his chest, tears threatening to roll down my face again. “Nick, I’ll deal with it.” Because I’ve been doing such a great job of it already.
He looks at my mother and stabs a finger at her. “Your mother told Cat she should have an abortion. I’m the last person you should be worried about hurting her.”
Three heads turn all at once in my mother’s direction, wide-eyed and mouths open. My mother has a hand around her waist and the other over her mouth, and the look on her face is one I can’t remember seeing before. She almost looks ashamed. For once.
“Now you can handle it. I’m going back to the office to handle my business. Make sure they’re gone by the time I come back.” He strides past me to the door, closing it with a resounding crack through the air.
I can practically see all the walls shaking around me. Instant. Massive. Migraine.
I put my hands over my eyes and rub my temples to relieve some of the tension and thumping in my head. “Lock the doors behind you when you leave.” Someone puts their hand on me, I don’t know who. I don’t bother to look at them. I’m tired. I’m defeated.
My voice shaking uncontrollably I tell them, “You need to leave. Go home. You can’t stay here.
” My head in my hands, I go to the bedroom to lie down, afraid to cry because of the migraine I have.
I compromise by holding myself together as best I can, clinging to his pillow, letting my silent tears soak in.
Nick doesn’t come back for a long time. I’m not sure what time he comes home.
Nick
When I come back she’s sleeping in the dark.
She’s on her side, her back to me on my side of the bed.
I strip out of my clothes, get in behind her, and wrap my hands around her.
Damn, she doesn’t have any clothes on. We haven’t had sex since I came back from my trip, and it’s driving me crazy.
She doesn’t know this but I spoke to her doctor.
He reassured me it was fine to have sex.
I don’t want to take a chance. Being next to her, feeling her skin next to mine, knowing I could easily slip into her, is testing me.
One touch. I put my hand over her warm thighs and move my hand between her legs and I feel curls.
She stopped shaving when she started having trouble getting a good view.
I don’t mind, but she seemed to. I think I’m going to help her out with that.
She’s going to resist, though I think I can persuade her with the promise of mind-blowing sex. I know she’s as ready as I am.
Not tonight, though. She doesn’t need that tonight.
My fingers slip lower, and before I reach inside her my fingertips are wet.
I need to get up and move away from her before I get carried away with need.
I pull my hand away from her and she stops me by taking my hand and placing it over her stomach, putting her fingers between mine.
She doesn’t make a sound. I know she’s crying, so I hold her close to me and kiss her on the side of her neck.
She needs me in a different way tonight. I press my lips against her neck again.
“I’m here for you, baby. I’m always here for you.” Even when I’m a total ass for leaving you here alone tonight. I let my anger come before what you needed. “I’m sorry.”
In the morning, she joins me at the breakfast table, smiling, but she’s quiet. Too quiet.
“You’re not going to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Cat, you have to eat. If you don’t, you know you’re going to get sick.
” She gets up and pours a cup of tea and sits back down with a slice of toast and fruit.
I watch her to make sure she eats something.
She’s still very upset about last night.
Her family is a thorn in my ass. Her mother is a thornbush all on her own, and she has to be dealt with.
It’s time for us to have our own talk, about my family.
“You look nice.” Her hair is braided on both sides and pulled up in one. She’s wearing a form-fitting pale blue dress that shows her curves. I like it. I take a sip of my coffee, watching her closely.
“Decided to wear something different today so there is no mistaking how pregnant I am. My official announcement for all who see me.” Her smile is tinged with sadness.
It wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for her mother. “I need to discuss something with you.”
She stops pretending to eat the rest of her food and holds her head up. “Thank you for being there for me last night. For not saying anything.”
“Where else would I be but with you?” I take her hand and hold it to my lips.
“You could have said I told you so.” She strokes her thumb across the top of her belly.
“Is it wrong to want my family to be a part of my baby’s life?
To want my mother to open her arms and embrace me when I tell her I’m having a baby.
I was there when Kate told her she was pregnant.
She was upset with me, but when she heard, she forgot everything.
She was happy to know she was going to be a grandmother. Why couldn’t she do that for me?”
“Cat—”
“It’s okay, Nick, you don’t have to say anything, I was venting.” She pulls her hand away from me resting them both on the table. “You wanted to discuss something with me?”
“We can talk about it later. There is something I think you need more.”
“What would that be?”
“We should go away for a weekend getaway. A mini-vacation.”
“We can’t. I can’t, I have work.”
I get up and lift her out the chair, my hands on her hips. “You can take a day or two off from work. I’m sure there’s an eager substitute waiting to fill in for you.”
She sucks her lower lip, her head to the side. “I don’t know?”
“You don’t want to go to a sunny desert island sipping virgin pina coladas—”
“I don’t like pina coladas, I like strawberry daiquiris.”
“Strawberry daiquiri, then. Frolicking in the sun and water, sun shining, skin glistening with coconut suntan lotion. Doesn’t that sound good?” I rub the tip of my nose against hers. She rubs her nose back against mine with a dreamy sigh.
“That does sound nice.”
“Where do you want to go? We can go anywhere in the world. It doesn’t have to be a tropical island, it could be a villa in the south of France. I’m fluent in the language of love.”
“I know all about that. But I like your tropical island idea. You sold me.”
“What island would my lady love like to go to?”
She grins, moving her hands to my shoulders. “Lady Love?”
“You’re my lady and I love you, girrrl.”
She laughs harder, and I put my forehead to hers and kiss her. I love to see her laugh. She brushes my hair back and looks into my eyes.
“I want to go to a place where I feel like I’m staring into your eyes, where the sky and ocean meet and become one with white sandy beaches. Can we go there?”
“Yeah, we can go there.” I love this woman, and I’ll do what it takes to protect her from anyone, including her family.