32. Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sam
T hrowing the dish towel over my shoulder, I slump down into the chair. My body is fucking exhausted. My phone vibrates in my pocket and the name ‘Shortcake’ flashes across the screen. Opening the text, I feel a smile pull across my face.
Hiiii, I hope tonight went well. I’m sure you did amazing. I’m so proud of you. Call me on your way home so I can hear all about it.
Thanks shortcake. Will do. Probably have another hour here. We had a call out tomorrow that I need to find coverage for. I could use one of your massages ;)
Yeah, sure. Happy ending is included for an additional price
Whatever you’re charging, I’ll pay double
“Uh, boss?”
I snap my head up and wipe the cheesy grin off my face. Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I look up at Jesse.
“Hey, Jesse. What can I do for you?” He looks about as rundown as I do. His pale cheeks have a flush to them and has what looks like mashed potatoes in his blonde eyebrow.
“They said Jake called out tomorrow. I need more hours for my car payment. So, I can cover if you haven’t filled the spot yet?” This kid works harder than anyone I know. He’s eighteen, is taking college classes this summer, and working more hours than some of my full-time staff.
“It’s all yours. Saves me a bit of time searching coverage. So, thanks for volunteering.” He perks up at my feedback and it reminds me of when I was his age, desperate for someone’s approval. “Good work tonight. You’re really getting the swing of things.”
His toothy grin makes the hard night worth it. “Thanks, boss. You did good, too.”
I laugh and nod my head. He darts back to the kitchen with an extra spring in his step.
Chef was on standby should shit hit the fan, but it didn’t. Well, at least not bad enough for me to phone a friend. The specials menu I had planned last week sold out within the first two hours. I’ll need to get a little better at properly gauging how much we are selling.
Pulling out a pad of yellow sticky notes, I make a note on my desk to go over previous specials and their sales versus tonight’s to see where I went wrong.
Even though the night was crazy, it was the best kind. I was running ragged, leading the specials station and covering for breaks. The chaos made it that much more rewarding. This is everything I’ve worked for.
Propping back in my chair for a second, I close my eyes and feel the tension from the night slowly melt away. Life is so fucking good right now. And I have someone to share it with. Somehow, that makes it that much more worthwhile. Addie’s face flashes through my mind. It always does. Fuck, is this what love is? It’s never been like this for me. Easy. Reassuring. She’s all mine and that feels so fucking good.
Remembering that I have someone waiting on me fuels my fire to burn through the rest of closing. I make sure to thank the staff for a smooth night, chaos and all. It couldn’t have gone better. Some were probably expecting a rough transition, but Chef has taught me well, and I was prepared. Except for the damn special. Even with that, I let myself feel proud. I don’t allow myself to do that often. But tonight, I earned that shit.
Walking up the stairs, I actually wish we had an elevator or something. My body sags with exhaustion now that the adrenaline and steam from the night have worn off.
My key grinds in the lock as I unlock my door. I push it open and about piss myself as I see a figure in the dark. Turning the light on, my face is met with streamers that hang over my doorway. My entire apartment is decked out in decor. A Congratulations sign hangs from my cupboards in the kitchen, and confetti lines the counters. Best of all, Addie’s bright smile lights up the room even more.
“Congratulations on surviving your first night as head chef!” Her bare feet pad against the floor as she runs to me, and the exhaustion I was just feeling evaporates. This girl in my arms makes me feel alive.
She kisses me quickly and then pulls back, resting her hands on my chest. Her head nods over to the counter behind the island. “I made you a cake!”
Looking over at the cake, I can’t help but laugh.
“I’ve never made a layered cake before. So, pretend it’s pretty. I’m used to making sheet pan cake. And the frosting is freaking stupid. And, well…” The cake sits at a funny angle, and the colors aren’t all the way mixed in with the frosting, leaving it looking like a tie-dye, choppy blue. A sloppy Congratulations is piped across the top.
“I’ve seen worse, but maybe stick to your cinnamon rolls, babe.” Giving her ass a couple taps, I release her from my arms.
“How did it go? Did you burn the restaurant down? Theo and I had a bet.”
A scowl paints over my face. Those assholes.
“Of course, you did. And no, I did not. I didn’t even tell anyone they were being stupid.” Though, a couple deserved it. If Gordon Ramsay can tell people they’re fucking idiots, why can’t I?
“Wow, I am so proud of you.” She reaches over and gently taps my cheek with her palm two times. “I’m sure that took a lot of restraint.”
“It really did. Especially when the new kid dropped a fully prepped and ready to go pan of whipped potatoes on the ground. It made for a good start to the night.”
She gasps as she covers her mouth. “Oh no! Poor kid.”
“That was the only major bump. The shift tomorrow was filled by one of my best bus boys. So, it should be smooth sailing tomorrow, too.”
“Look at you, kicking ass and taking names.”
“It was a good night, and you were here waiting for me. That made it perfect. I love coming home and you being here.” My arms wrap around her, and her arms wrap around my neck. “Oh, and I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready for it or not, but I RSVP’d for Cal and Isla’s wedding.” Addie’s words about my siblings missing me have finally gotten to me, and I’ve decided it’s time to test the waters.
Addie adverts her eyes and looks over the kitchen. She mumbles out, “Yeah, she mentioned that today.”
“Do you know if she booked our tickets together? That long-ass flight would probably be less miserable if you were with me.” Cal had messaged me months ago, letting me know he was buying the whole family tickets. That was before I knew I was going, but he bought my ticket, anyway. So, I can only hope that they all are seated closely together, and that Addie’s ticket is in the same group.
“Um, I am actually not sure.” Her posture goes rigid, her arms tense around me, and she avoids meeting my eyes. Red flags and warning bells blare through my head.
“You told her to sit us together, right?”
She fidgets a little as if nervous, trying to find a way to say what she needs to say.
“What, do you not want to sit with me? If you want to sit with Isla, I get it.” It’s her best friend’s wedding, after all.
She hastily shakes her head, keeping her eyes away from mine. My mind racks at reasons for why she would be shutting down like this. Thinking over my conversation, Cal didn’t mention anything about Addie and me. Surely, he knows about us by now, right?
“Does Isla not know we’re dating?” My arms drop from her waist and I take a defensive step back.
Addie grabs onto my arm, shaking her head. “Well, she knows I’m dating someone, but when I went to tell her who, she got a phone call and had to leave. But I’m going to tell her. I promise.”
Shaking off her touch, I run my hands through my hair and pace, trying to figure out what’s going on inside my head. What the actual fuck is happening right now?
The anger bubbles up and flows over into my voice. “We’ve been seeing each other for weeks. Months, even. How does your best friend not know about me?”
Addie’s eyes flash with guilt. “Well, I was kind of scared to tell her in the beginning. All she knew about you was that you were the asshole brother that no-showed his sister’s wedding, and never shows up—”
Cutting her off, I want to put an end to the narrative that I’m that big of an asshole. “I didn’t blow off Liv’s wedding because I don’t give a shit. I blew it off because I had no money, and there was no way in hell I was asking my dad for help. I just started making good money when that was going on. I didn’t have three grand to blow.”
She gapes at me for a minute, as if unsure what to say. Her brows furrow together as she puts it all together.
“Sam, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you were the villain. It’s just, she already thinks I make shitty dating choices. So, I was just waiting. And then, I waited so long, I was worried that she was going to be mad at me for not telling her and judge me for that, too.”
My eyebrows shoot up and I feel my stomach drop. “So, just like every other person in my family, the fucking girl I love is ashamed of me? Fucking perfect.”
She slowly blinks as she takes in my words. “You love me?” Of course, that’s the part she’s stuck on.
She’s been stuck in my head since the moment I laid eyes on her. My heart knew it before my mind did. She was always going to be mine. I’ve told her more about myself than I have anyone else.
Throwing my hands in the air in exasperation, I say, “Isn’t it obvious? I let you in when I have created bulletproof walls between myself and everyone else.” My anger lashes out through my words and tastes bitter on my tongue.
“I’m not ashamed of you, Sam. I’ve been ashamed of myself lately, and I just couldn’t take one more person thinking I’m a fuckup.”
The fact that she thinks dating me would label her as a fuckup hits me harder than I could have ever imagined.
“No one has ever said you were a fuckup, but people have been saying that about me my whole life.” She has the perfect family—always supportive. No matter how life goes, they’ve got her back. I had her and Theo. At least, I thought I did.
Her hands claw at her chest, the light above the island illuminating against her face. “But I thought I was. I felt like I was losing at life, and I just couldn’t take Isla thinking less of me. So, I didn’t say anything, and then I fell in love with you, too, and I tried to tell her today. I really did. I had a come-to-Jesus moment. I’ve been stupid and afraid for no reason.”
Anger and an ugly emotion that feels a whole lot like hurt and betrayal fill me. Not Addie. Not her.
“Well, I am glad you finally decided I’m worthy of whatever you think you were looking for.”
She slow blinks at me. Tears fill her eyes, and for a second, I hate myself for being the one who put them there. “Sam, no. Yes, she said things about you that made me scared how she would react, but she was wrong. You made me unafraid and better. So much better.”
“Yeah, you’re so proud of me, aren’t you? I can tell by the way you’ve hidden me from everyone important in your life.”
“That’s not fair, Sam. I’ve told your sister and my own family. I’ve told Regina.” She shakes her head, tears falling faster now. “It was just Isla. It was stupid and wrong, and I’m sorry.”
Shaking my head, I feel nothing but fucking rage and hurt.
“You may not have hidden it from the world, but you hid it from the most important person in yours, and honestly, I think that’s worse.” Hanging my head, I say, “I think it would be best if you leave.” I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret, and I can feel the venom building behind my tongue, begging to lash out at her. But I can’t. I can’t hurt her like that. Even if she’s hurt me like that. She found the one sore spot I have and poured vinegar right over it.
“Sam, no. I’m not leaving not like this. I want to be with you.”
“Yeah, well, tell that to your actions. Because it’s not very clear to me. Please leave. I don’t want you here tonight. I can’t do this right now.” My hand raises and I point to the door.
A choked sob leaves her chest and I almost cave. But this isn’t fucking fair, and I need to think. In peace and in quiet. She nods her head and grabs her stuff.
“Sam, I’m so sorry. I should have done this all differently. I know that.”
I nod and walk out of the room as my heart walks out of the front door.