Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
For a heartbeat Owen simply stared at him.
There it was, the conversation he’d known might happen one day, but had somehow convinced himself could wait.
He drew a slow breath. “This was because of what you saw here.”
Jeff didn’t speak for a moment. Then he shrugged. “Let’s just say I’ve been adding up a lot of things, and the answer kept pointing me in one direction.” He didn’t break eye contact. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you’re not sleeping with my son.”
Owen could have lied.
He could have laughed it off, told Jeff he’d lost his mind, or reminded him Matt was an adult who could make his own choices.
Instead, he looked down at his hands.
“It’s true.” Then he raised his chin. “It’s not what you think.”
Jeff snorted. “I think you’re in love with him.”
Owen went still. The words struck hard.
That was the one thing he hadn’t allowed himself to examine. Not properly, not honestly. Not in words.
He thought about Matt constantly. He worried about him. Wanted him. Missed him when he wasn’t there.
But love?
That was a word he’d kept locked away.
Jeff watched him. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Owen shook his head. “You don’t know that.” The denial felt weak before it left his lips.
“No?” Jeff leaned forward. “Then tell me I’m wrong.”
Owen opened his mouth.
Nothing came out, because the worst part was that he couldn’t.
Jeff sat back, letting the silence answer for him.
“And as for how he feels about you? That boy can’t hide a damn thing. He never could.” He rubbed a hand over his cheek. “Which means today is a real red-letter day. First, I discover my son likes men.”
The anger and disbelief Owen had heard in Jeff’s voice softened, and something else replaced it.
Something Owen understood.
Jeff had woken up that morning believing he knew his son. Then, within a few hours, he’d discovered an entire part of Matt’s life he’d never seen.
Owen knew how unsettling that was. The moment you realised the person you loved had been showing you who they were all along.
Matt had done that to him.
Not deliberately, or because he’d been hiding anything. Owen simply hadn’t been looking closely enough. He’d seen a young man looking for a summer job. Then a lover. Then a friend. And somewhere along the way, he’d discovered the man beneath all of that—the man he’d fallen in love with.
I spent months thinking I was the one teaching Matt about desire, trust, what it meant to let someone get close.
All the while, Matt had been showing him who he was.
Jeff raised his chin. “Second…” His jaw tightened. “He’s in love with one of my oldest friends.”
Owen stared at him. The words hung between them, another bomb, two in less than a minute.
“He’s not—”
The denial died before it reached his lips.
How could I know?
He’d told himself Matt understood the arrangement. That Matt was happy with what they had. That neither of them had asked for more.
But he’d never asked, not once.
Jeff hadn’t said I think Matt might have feelings for you.
He’d said He’s in love with you.
And suddenly Owen found himself remembering things he’d deliberately not examined too closely.
He swallowed. “You don’t know that.”
Jeff’s expression softened. “I do. I’ve known him since the day he was born. You might not have noticed. Or maybe you’ve noticed and convinced yourself it doesn’t mean what it looks like. But I know my son.”
Owen rubbed his thumb against his palm. “Matt hasn’t said anything.”
“He doesn’t have to.” Jeff closed his eyes, as though he’d been hoping against hope for a different answer. “How long?”
“Since the beginning of July.”
Jeff’s eyes snapped open. “Jesus, Owen. You’ve spent half the summer falling into bed with him?”
“That isn’t all we’ve been doing,” Owen protested.
Jeff took a breath. “I know you’re not using him.
” Owen stilled, and Jeff nodded. “How long have we known each other? Give me some credit. And believe it or not, the fact he’s twenty-five and you’re fifty-two isn’t what scares me.
” He closed his eyes again for a moment.
“No, what scares me is twenty years from now, when he’ll be forty-five—
“—and I’ll be seventy-two,” Owen finished.
Jeff opened his eyes and stared. “So you have thought about it.” He swallowed.
“Supposing you do make it that long as a couple. One day he’ll wake up and realise he spent the best years of his life looking after an old man.
” His voice cracked. “One day he’ll want children.
A family. Someone who can give him things you can’t anymore. ”
Owen’s throat seized.
Jeff looked him in the eye. “I hate that I’m saying this to you.”
“I know.”
“Because I fucking loved you like a brother.” He gave a bitter laugh. “Which makes this bloody impossible. Because if this were anyone else…” He stopped. “If you were in your early forties, I’d probably be buying champagne.”
That hurt most of all.
Jeff wasn’t rejecting them. He was mourning the life he thought Matt deserved.
And the problem was, Owen understood every word.
He’d already thought about the age difference. Of course he had. He’d thought about it before the first time he’d kissed Matt, before he’d taken him to his bed, before he’d allowed himself to discover what it felt like to have Matt curled against him in the quiet afterwards.
He’d told himself adults made their own choices. That Matt knew the difference between twenty-five and fifty-two. That nobody could predict what life would look like twenty years from now.
But he’d never asked himself the question Jeff had just forced into the room.
What if Matt woke up one morning and regretted the choice he’d made at twenty-five?
What if the things he wanted at forty-five were things Owen could no longer give him? All those things Jeff had spelled out: children, a family… and time.
A future that stretched further than Owen’s did.
Owen stared down at his hands.
He’d made sure nobody expected forever from him. It had seemed kinder that way. Now, for the first time, he could see another possibility.
What if keeping things casual wasn’t protecting Matt from heartbreak?
What if it was simply delaying it?
His chest tightened.
There was one thing he couldn’t argue with.
If Matt really was falling in love with him, then Owen no longer had the right to pretend this was only about sex.
And if he couldn’t offer Matt everything he deserved, maybe the kindest thing he could do was make sure Matt never had to choose between loving him and having a life.
Even if that meant Owen had to break his own heart first.
Jeff was quiet for a moment. “So what are you going to do?”
The question Owen had been dreading.
Owen gazed at him. “I don’t know.”
Jeff nodded. “That’s honest, at least.”
“I care about him.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Then don’t.”
Owen let out a sigh. “That’s easier said than done.”
“Maybe.” Jeff leaned back in his chair. “But I’m not asking you to promise me you’ll end it.”
Owen frowned.
Jeff suddenly seemed exhausted. “I don’t want you making a decision about my son’s life because I told you to. That’s not my place. And it certainly isn’t yours.”
Owen stared at him.
“But if you’re going to keep seeing him,” Jeff continued, “then you need to know what you’re doing. Because if he’s already as far gone as I think he is, this stopped being casual a while ago.”
Owen glanced towards the closed hatch. “He hasn’t said he loves me.”
“Would that make a difference?”
He opened his mouth, but no words came. Again.
Jeff gave a sad smile. “Exactly.”
Silence settled between them.
“I would never deliberately lead him on,” Owen said at last.
“I know.”
“I’ve always been honest with him.”
“Then keep being honest.”
Owen nodded.
Jeff stood, but didn’t immediately move towards the door. “One more thing. If you decide you can’t give him what he wants, don’t start pulling away and convince yourself you’re doing him a favour.”
Owen’s stomach tightened.
“Tell him.”
“I will.”
“Not what you think he wants to hear. The truth.”
Owen nodded again.
Jeff sighed. “I can live with you loving Matt. What I can’t live with is you deciding for him that he’s better off without you. That’s his choice.”
Then he walked out.
Owen remained at the kitchen table long after the front door closed. For several seconds, he didn’t move.
The house was quiet again, but it didn’t feel peaceful.
One moment, I was sitting on the couch with Matt, trying desperately to convince myself distance was the sensible thing to do.
The next, Jeff walked in and somehow saw straight through every carefully constructed argument I’d been hiding behind.
And all of that without really seeing anything. He hadn’t caught them in a kiss, he hadn’t overheard them in the throes of sex the way Callum had… He hadn’t even witnessed some grand declaration that could be dismissed as a misunderstanding.
All he’d seen was a hand, a touch, a glance, and apparently that had been enough.
Maybe the truth had been that obvious all along.
He’d wanted Jeff to tell him what to do. Instead, he’d given Owen something much worse.
A choice.
And for the first time since Matt had walked into his life, Owen couldn’t convince himself that keeping things simple was the safest option.
If Jeff was right—if Matt really was falling in love with him—then Owen had to decide whether loving him meant holding on…
Or letting him go.
“Owen?”
He turned.
Matt stood in the doorway from the hall, his laptop tucked under one arm, a frown creasing his forehead. “You okay?”
The genuine concern in Matt’s voice almost undid him. Owen wanted to close the distance between them, pull him close, and forget every word Jeff had said.
Instead, he went with a smile. “I’m fine.”
Matt studied him for a moment.
It was terrifying how easily Matt read him now.
“You don’t look fine.”
Owen forced a laugh. “Your dad came over with cake. He just caught me by surprise. That’s all.”
“Everything’s okay?”
“Yes.” The answer came too quickly, and Owen softened it. “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”
Matt accepted it, but Owen saw the small hesitation before he nodded.
He hated that too.