Chapter 33
Sarah
“One, two, three,” I spoke aloud to the fading light as I pressed into Fai’s chest in steady beats, willing him to live. Willing his heart to come back to me and his breath to fill his lungs.
He had been under far too long—I’d taken too long to find him. By the time I did, he was already drifting downward, sinking in slow, quiet surrender toward the riverbed.
He wasn’t fighting anymore.
So I did.
I caught his arm and pulled, forcing us upward through the freezing dark. My lungs burned as I fought the current, dragging him with me until we finally broke free of the depths and collapsed onto the river’s edge.
“Breathe, damn it,” I rasped, my words breaking between compressions and desperate breaths.
His body lay slack against the jagged stones at the river’s edge, his feet still swallowed by the current. Without the water to carry him, I couldn’t drag him any farther.
The rain softened to a distant hush, unnoticed. The world had narrowed to him—to the blue tinge of his lips, the unnatural stillness, and the cold seeping into his skin.
My arms trembled and burned from the swim and from hauling him out of the depths, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.
I would sit here on this shore, fighting for his life, for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t give up on him, never again.
“Damn it, Fai,” I muttered through tears as I pressed harder into his chest, trying to get his heart to beat on its own as it should. “You promised. You promised you would never leave again. You promised.”
My voice broke on the final word, a tear falling from my cheek and landing on his. It mixed with the river water and rain clinging to him. The sky above cried with me as I ignored the very real possibility that he was gone… for good this time.
After the years of watching him battle this addiction, a part of me had always expected him to die.
When I filed for divorce and he came home drunk, yelling about being abandoned by everyone he loved, I wondered if the day I lost him was coming soon.
It was always an abstract thought—a faraway possibility I had never fully realized.
Being forced to face it now… it was unimaginable.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. We had finally gotten our second chance. Fai had fought too damn hard to be gone now. He had fought to get sober; he had fought to find his family again; he had faced every fear and every worry. He had fought too damn hard.
I had fought too hard and survived too much.
I had waited too long to have him back for him to die so quickly.
We were supposed to finally live again. Love again.
This couldn’t be the end. I wanted to see him smile again; I wanted to hear his laugh.
I didn’t know the last time I heard either—I didn’t know it was the last time. I didn’t know I needed to remember.
“Please,” I mumbled through tears. “Come back to me.”
Whatever gods existed above must have listened. In some twist of fate—what could only be described as a miracle—Fai’s eyelids fluttered before a gush of water came rushing from his lips.
“Oh my God,” I cried, pushing him onto his side as he coughed and retched up water, his lungs emptying to make room for the air he desperately needed. It seemed as if half the river came from his lungs and his stomach as he struggled to breathe.
“Cough it out,” I instructed through tears. Finally, the coughing slowed and his body rolled to his back. His eyes opened slowly. “Fai?”
He was bewildered. His gaze, while on me, was unfocused as he looked frantically between my eyes.
“Sarah?” he croaked.
“Hi,” I muttered through sobs.
“Are we alive?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused about whether we were or not.
I nodded. “Of course! You’re okay. I got you, okay? I got you.”
He sighed, one hand coming up to my cheek and his thumb brushing away my tears.
“Don’t cry,” he rasped.
My tears overcame me as I collapsed onto his chest, sobs racking my body as I held his far too cold body close to mine.
“Don’t you ever do that again!” I cried into his chest.
Somehow, this stupid man laughed. I didn’t hear it but felt the familiar shake of his shoulders.
“Never again,” he promised, his hand coming to the back of my head. “Where is he? What did you call him?”
I looked up and around us, straining to see any figures in the dim light.
“Levi… his name is Levi,” I said, the words feeling heavier the moment they left me.
I turned back to Fai. He looked drained, his skin no longer deathly pale but still far from its usual warmth. His lips were still a faint blue and shadows were carved deep beneath his bloodshot eyes.
“I-I don’t know,” I admitted, my voice faltering. “I lost him in the river. I wasn’t even… looking for him.”
Fai stared at me, still bewildered. “You pulled me out?”
I nodded with a tear-filled laugh. He opened his mouth, but instead of words, more water came spilling past his lips as he continued to cough it up.
“We need to get you out of here.” I looked up to the bridge, unsure how I was going to achieve that feat.
My body ached from the dive off the bridge—a reckless choice that, in hindsight, could have killed me. The bridge itself was far out of reach now, surrounded by steep, mountainous hills rising around us, the kind you’d have to climb on your hands and knees.
I started weighing my options: trying to scale the mountain to get him back up to the bridge, or following the river downstream where the terrain was lower. But going that way meant risking running into Levi—if he’d made it out.
The truth was, the moment they went over the edge, I’d stopped thinking about Levi entirely. My only focus had been Fai—getting to him and getting him out of that damned river.
There was a high chance Levi was still in the river.
While I had the ability to plan my angle and take a deep breath before I broke the surface, Levi and Fai had gone in flailing and fighting.
Neither was prepared, and the collision with the surface could have very well knocked them out.
Levi could have drowned immediately. But there was always the chance he had made it out and was coming back to find us…
me… again. We needed to get off the riverbank to avoid that very scenario.
I didn’t want to know what he would do to Fai this time, especially because we had foiled his original plan.
The screeching of sirens began to sound in the distance, growing closer to us. I looked at Fai in surprise.
“Did you really think I came here without calling someone?” he asked, a brow raised, though his voice was still barely above a croak.
A teary laugh fell from my lips. “You’ve done stupider things.”
He rolled his eyes and threaded his fingers through mine. “When I got the call, I ran to get to you, but Goldie called the police… and Will… and probably Nate.”
He pulled me down beside him, and my legs—shaking and spent—finally gave in to the rest they’d been begging for. The rain still fell, softer now. A gentle hush against the world. In the distance, the sun sank low, and streaks of orange broke through the heavy clouds.
Sirens wailed, growing louder as flashing lights cut through the dimming sky.
Vehicles screeched to a stop atop the bridge, and I watched as police officers and paramedics spilled out in urgent motion.
I shoved my fingers between my lips and let out a sharp whistle, the sound slicing through the noise. Heads turned. I waved them toward us.
Only then did I let myself fall still beside Fai. We lay shoulder to shoulder on the rough stones, the river curling around our feet and rain falling in slow, scattered drops as the last light slipped behind the mountains.
At last, the day gave way to its end.