Chapter 35
Sarah
“I’m impressed with how much you managed to accumulate in the eighteen months I didn’t live here,” Fai remarked after taping up another box meant for donations.
He was officially moving back in. I knew I wanted him back here the moment he was discharged, but he had been insistent on my coming home alone.
Not because he didn’t want to be here, but because he wanted me to have the space to process it all—not just us getting back together, but everything that had happened with Levi.
Fai was worried the feelings I had for him were connected to the trauma we had endured together. He wanted to give me the space to make sure I was certain about my decision to get back together.
Everything between us was beyond complicated, and our reconnection had occurred because of Levi and his actions.
I understood Fai’s apprehension about jumping in headfirst, and I was also proud of him.
He wasn’t just protecting me, but his sobriety.
He needed stability and consistency right now, and I was beyond proud that he was advocating for himself.
I was proud, but I also missed him to death. After a week, I showed up at Goldie’s house and all but dragged Fai home. He was right to be worried that our feelings were born in trauma, but what he seemed to forget was that I had loved him from the moment I met him.
Now that he was finally home, I had to make space for him again.
When we first divorced, I had cleared the house of anything that reminded me of him, only to fill the empty spaces with new things.
They filled the house, masking his absence in a physical sense—but they never filled the space he left in my heart.
Over the last couple of weeks, as we recentered our life at home, we were finally able to process… well, everything.
Levi was in custody while the investigation was underway.
It was a can of worms the detectives were uncovering, but I was grateful to finally be safe.
I wasn’t sure if he would take the insanity plea or stand trial, but either way, he was looking at nearly a lifetime behind bars.
I never wanted to see someone put into the prison system, but I also wanted to be safe.
I wanted to live my life, this life with Fai, without looking over my shoulder.
Levi couldn’t hurt me, and I knew Fai would never allow him to do so again.
My heart did break for Fai. In the chaos, he lost his brother—or the man he thought was his brother—but he found his way back to his family.
Family isn’t dependent on blood or biology; it’s decided by love every day.
And our family… our odd, dysfunctional family chose each other every day.
Jackie and Fai were rebuilding their friendship every day, Goldie stuck to us like glue, and Nate, though not Fai’s biggest fan, wanted me to be happy more than anything. And I was happiest with Fai.
The fireplace was blazing and heating the room around us, though the warm air was quickly escaping through the open windows.
Fai wanted the warmth, but I wanted the sound of the rainfall, so we compromised.
I looked at him from my spot on the living room floor.
His dark brown hair was in its usual mess, hanging over his forehead, and color was finally returning to his skin after two weeks. His eyes were full of life once again.
If I hadn’t seen it myself, I wouldn’t believe he had technically died a few weeks ago. He was the picture of life, of health. He must have felt my stare because he turned and looked at me, smirking as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“What?” he asked.
I shook my head and turned back to the box in front of me. How did I explain to him that I couldn’t fully believe this was real—that he was home, or that he was mine once again? He would disagree with the last part. He would argue that he was always mine, no matter how far apart we were.
“You own too many books,” I complained, staring at the stack I needed to somehow fit onto shelves that were already full.
He laughed lightly and continued going through one of the boxes I had kept stuffed in my closet.
While I had gotten rid of most of the things that reminded me of him, some of them I had hidden in the back of my closet, unable to fully say goodbye.
I had made it his job to go through them and decide what was important enough to keep.
“I can take them back to my office, if you want. There’s room there,” he offered.
“No!” I rejected the offer immediately. “I want them here.”
Fai eyed me for a moment but chose to drop it and returned to his box. It was the last one, and we were both grateful to nearly be done and get back to life.
“Do you want me to repaint this room?” I asked, looking around at the deep blue walls and ceiling. I had painted them to help me forget him… that obviously hadn’t worked. It would only be fair to offer to change it back, though I loved the color. “Fai?” I asked, turning back to him.
He was staring into the box, his eyes fixed on something. I stood and stretched before walking over to him. “What has you so spooked?”
He turned to me as I approached, holding something up.
The gold band—scratched from years of wear—and the cushion-cut diamond glittered in the firelight.
“You kept it?” he asked, surprised, as he glanced between me and my wedding ring.
I laughed lightly and nodded, taking the ring from his grasp and inspecting it. I had all but thrown it into a box over a year ago, after the papers were signed. “Of course. What else would I have done with it?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Sold it? Put a hex on it? Thrown it in the ocean as you cursed me out?”
“Jackie actually offered to help me do that,” I mused, thinking back to the conversation. Her anger toward him had been far worse than mine at the time. “But I couldn’t. I don’t even know why, but the idea of getting rid of it felt wrong. What did you do with yours?”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his matching gold ring. It also showed the wear and tear of the years we had worn them every day. I laughed in shock, took his ring as well, and handed mine back to him, placing it in his palm.
“Do you always have that in your pocket?” I asked.
It was a joke; I didn’t believe he had kept it on him this entire time. But he nodded, looking completely serious.
“It’s always with me.”
I stared at him in surprise. “Why?”
He shrugged. “It’s like you said… it felt wrong to be without it.”
Of course he'd always had it on him. The damned fool had only divorced me to protect me. It was idiotic, but it was exactly him—sacrificing himself, letting himself be hurt for those he loved. And I was at the top of that list. The one he loved most.
“Fai?” I asked, looking up at him and holding out my hand, returning the ring to him.
“Yeah?”
“Marry me.”
I didn’t ask. It wasn’t a question. It was a demand.
His eyes went wide as he looked between the ring and me. “Sarah… you don’t mean that.”
I shook my head. “I do mean it. We shouldn’t have divorced in the first place. It was necessary at the time—I know that—but I want to be married to you again. I want to be your wife.”
“What if I relapse again?” he asked, hesitant. “I can’t hurt you again. I refuse to.”
I grasped his hand in mine. “Fai… do you want to marry me?”
“Obviously,” he answered immediately, “but that doesn’t mean–”
“Nope.” I cut him off. “It means we’re getting remarried.” I placed his ring back onto his finger.
He stared at it for a moment before finally returning mine, sliding it back onto my finger… back where it belonged.
“You really mean this?” His voice was barely above a whisper, full of hope and wonder.
I smiled, framing his face in my hands. His hands settled at my waist, pulling me closer until our chests pressed together.
“With everything I am. I love you, Fai.”
He searched my eyes for a moment, as if trying to confirm it was true. Then he smiled wide and pulled me into a kiss—his whole body, his whole soul in it—showing me that he loved me. That he had always loved me. That he always would.
He wasn’t perfect. Neither was I.
He had hurt me. And I had hurt him, too.
We weren’t perfect, but we were perfect together.
Perfectly imperfect.