Chapter Eight
“REMIND ME AGAIN HOW cleaning the toilet is part of an R.A.’s job?” Helios asked darkly as he straightened from his task at the dorm’s third-floor bathroom, a discontented look on his face. He was wearing a wife-beater , jeans, and workers’ boots – nothing special, really, but at that moment, he looked the most gorgeous man on the planet for MJ.
Bringing down her face mask, she answered cheerfully, “It’s not. This is all part of your desire to be a normal guy.”
Helios glanced down at the third toilet bowl he had scrubbed clean with distaste. “I fucking hate being a normal guy.”
She gasped, letting her lower lip tremble a bit as if she was about to cry.
Helios said hastily, “But I love you more, which is why I will do this gladly.”
MJ turned around swiftly so Helios wouldn’t see her grinning. But her rocking shoulders gave her away and she shrieked when Helios spun her around and pushed her against the wall. “What’s this?” he purred. “You’re trying to manipulate me now?”
“Err, yes?” She had a hard time breathing at how close they were. When Helios pressed his body closer to hers, she almost closed her eyes and moaned.
He whispered into her ear, “You think you have me in the palm of your hands because I’m in love with you?”
“Err, yes to that, too?” She held her breath, wondering if this was the time Helios would finally snap.
But all he did was grin and kiss her nose. “You’re right. So hurry up and fall in love with me.”
When he turned around, MJ was this close to throwing her toilet brush at his head, and only the knowledge that doing that would make Helios Andreadis really angry kept her from doing it.
It had been a week since Helios had asked her to make him beg, and she had. Things that Helios Andreadis couldn’t have possibly done, she had made him to do. Tutor failing cheerleaders in their dorm so they could pass their exam and not lose his temper while doing it? Check. Mow the lawn while the boyfriends of girls at the dorm egged him and threw garbage his way? Check. Talk about the importance of being open with his feelings to one of the boys at the dorm when he had been dumped because he had been too arrogant to admit to liking the girl first (and Helios had to do it without choking)? Check.
There was nothing she had asked him to do that Helios had not done right away and had not excelled at. The problem was, she was close to begging, too. Helios hadn’t touched her or kissed her since that night as well, and she just couldn’t make herself ask him. She had her pride, too...which was why she was reduced to seducing him in the most subtle ways she could think of.
Did Helios know she was trying to seduce him? She hoped not. Surely not. If he had known, Helios’ arrogant nature would have made him smirk and crow at her weakness.
“President?”
Helios got up from his crouching position at MJ’s inquiring tone. “I told you not to call me—” He almost found himself unable to speak by the time he turned fully to MJ and saw her bent over on the toilet, with her long shapely legs and practically half of her butt exposed by her tiny pair of denim shorts.
Helios breathed hard for a moment—
MJ balanced herself on the heels of her feet to peek at Helios’ expression when he stopped speaking. “President.”
Helios swiftly rearranged his facial expression to something that was more furious than tormented. “ That ,” he said shortly. “Don’t call me that. You know it’s not true anymore.”
She bit her lips. “That’s what I was wondering about. Are you sure you’re really okay with you not having anything to do with...bikes?” While she was immensely happy having Helios with her all the time, she couldn’t help but feel guilty as well, knowing she was taking him away from one of the few passions Helios had in his life.
But, MJ thought defensively, it wasn’t like she had asked him to do it. He had volunteered – and she had just said yes. So really, she hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Hey.” Helios was suddenly close, looming over her, a worried frown on his face. “Have you been worrying about that?”
“Nope.” But according to his fan page on Facebook, she should. There were thousands of girls who blamed her for no longer having Helios Andreadis to look forward to in underground bike races.
He snorted. “You are – and you shouldn’t be.” He bent down halfway so he could caress her cheek. “I chose you, brat. You’re my life. When I saw you flying in the air after riding the bike that one time—” The memory had him whitening, and his hand shook when he caressed her face again. “I almost died back there. I don’t want something like that to happen again.”
The emotions underlying his tone made MJ bite her lip. She still couldn’t get used to Helios revealing so much of his feelings, making her treasure every instance he opened up to her. “I’m sorry I was so stupid back then,” she whispered, knowing she had to own up to being partly to blame at least. “I was just so out of my mind about losing you and thinking about my dad that I...”
Helios cupped her face and kissed her. To hell with his plan of making MJ suffer from physical longing so that she would fall in love with him more quickly. Right now, they both needed this kiss and what she needed, he had sworn to give.
“I won’t ever make you feel like you had to earn my love again, brat. You never have to, remember that. It’s always here in my heart.”
A full second passed before MJ pulled back a little so she could look at Helios’ expression and ask, “I really love how you’re saying all these things, but...how do you manage to say it with a completely straight face?”
Helios slammed her head back against his chest. “Shut up. And I have no fucking idea how,” he snarled in answer as color stained his cheeks. “Must be because I love you that much.”
“MJ? I was told you’re here— oh. ”
MJ couldn’t get away fast enough from Helios at the sudden appearance of one of the dorm’s first-year residents.
Helios reluctantly let her go, knowing that even now MJ wasn’t completely comfortable with having other people see them together. It was another reason why he had been withholding sex. He couldn’t help but feel irritated and hurt, like a goddamn infatuated schoolboy, knowing that while MJ wanted him in the bedroom, she didn’t want to be associated with him outside it.
MJ self-consciously tucked her hair behind her ears. “Tammy, hey. What is it?”
“I was just wondering if I could have a...” She stopped, looking at Helios awkwardly.
Helios took that as a cue to move further back into the bathroom and start cleaning the toilet again. If the others at the Afxisi could see him now , Helios thought darkly. They would never let him live this down.
When Helios was gone from sight, Tanya whispered, “Can you lend me a napkin?”
“Oh. Sure.” Poking her head back into the bathroom, she hollered out to Helios, “I’ll be right back, President. I just need to get something from my room.”
“Sure – and my name is not President. How many times do I have to tell you that?” he yelled back.
MJ hurried up her floor with a smile on her face.
When she reached her room, she grabbed a few extra pads from her table. On her way out, she bumped into Katya, who had a troubled expression on her face. When Katya saw her, she asked immediately, “Are you okay?”
“I am...why wouldn’t I be?” MJ asked, confused.
Katya looked at her face for one long moment. “You don’t know,” she said finally.
“No. I guess I don’t. What is it?”
Katya slowly handed her phone to MJ. The browser was on a Greek newspaper’s website, and the biggest photo on its homepage was of Helios at some club in Miami in a liplock with a Russian model. “W-what does the article say?” MJ whispered.
“I think you should talk about it with Helios first,” Katya said uneasily. “I don’t think it’s true—”
MJ looked at her friend pleadingly.
Katya exhaled. “It says that Helios has been out partying every night since he retired from bike racing.”
They heard the sound of heavy footsteps headed towards them at the end of Katya’s words. When they looked up, Helios was there, looking like he had run like hell to get to them.
Helios cursed silently when he saw MJ’s pale face. She had heard about it, too, then. He did not blame Katya Vlahos at all for telling her. She was only looking out for her friend, the same way his friends were looking out for him, with Yuri calling him right away the moment he heard about the news breaking out in Greek media.
When he looked at Katya, the other girl asked MJ, “Are you okay if I leave or do you want me here?”
MJ swallowed. “I’m...okay. You can go.” She talked without really hearing herself. It was like she was floating, and everything was happening to another MJ, not her. Just when things were starting to look right, this had to happen. She could almost hear James’ voice inside her head, taunting her. Do you really think you deserve to be happy? You don’t, MJ. You never did.
And James should know. He was a famous racer once. He knew how it felt to be loved by many. MJ didn’t, and maybe she was never meant to because she wasn’t the kind to be loved.
It was only when Helios started shaking her shoulders that she looked up and realized she was already in his arms.
“It’s not true,” Helios said fiercely. “That photo was taken years ago. I have no fucking idea why they’re lying about me all of a sudden, but it’s not true.”
She didn’t, couldn’t answer.
“I’m heading back to Greece tonight to figure out what’s going on. But I promise you, nothing in that stupid article is the truth. I’ve been in the club every night, MJ. I’ve got the CCTV footage to prove it—”
She said between dry lips, “But that could be faked.”
“Do you really think I’d go to such lengths to lie to you?” Helios demanded. “I wouldn’t—”
She whispered, “If you really loved me, you would.”
This time, Helios cursed out loud, realizing how neatly MJ had trapped him, probably even without planning to. “MJ, dammit, I swear to you, I haven’t even fucking left the school since we broke up, and that’s the goddamn truth. I love you – just you, and it will always be you. Can’t you make yourself believe that?”
Before she could answer, her own phone rang. She answered it unthinkingly and was surprised to hear it was Jack. She had come to know the other guy fairly well, with both of them into photography.
Helios stiffened when he heard MJ say another guy’s name. It was that asshole again. MJ had admitted to him long before that Jack was more Katya’s friend than hers, but he wasn’t buying it. He had seen the way Jack looked at MJ and knew the interest wasn’t platonic.
When he heard MJ citing a time and place to meet, he reached for her phone without thinking, snatching it out of her hand and ending the call.
“Helios!” MJ’s face was full of indignation.
So she would only say his name out of anger?
In one move, he had her against the wall, hands slamming on each side of her face like a cage. She tried to get away, but there was no escaping and they both knew it.
“Let me go,” MJ muttered.
“Why are you meeting up with that man?”
She looked away as she answered, “It’s none of your busi—”
“It is my business because I love you,” he growled.
“Do you really?” she asked tightly.
“What else do I have to do, dammit? I’ve bared my fucking heart a thousand times. I’ve let you trample on my pride a thousand times more. What else do you fucking need to believe that I love you?”
Tears slipped through her tightly squeezed eyes at his words. MJ knew what he said was true, and she also knew that not believing him was more her fault than his. “I don’t know,” she said finally, wearily. “Every time I want to believe you, something like this happens and I just don’t think...I don’t think I’m cut out for it.”
This time, when she pushed him off her, he let her, and somehow this terrified her. But she didn’t let her fear show, and only the quiver in her voice betrayed her emotions as she whispered, “I don’t think it’s you this time. I think it’s all me. You did your best to be normal, but you...can’t.”
“Stop talking,” Helios said between clenched teeth, his body tense for he already knew what she was about to say, and he didn’t want to hear it.
“You’re Helios Andreadis, and I’m me—”
“I said stop talking,” he roared.
“—and I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough for you.”
The words fell between them like the most fragile glass shattering in the ground, never to be pieced back together again.
A raw look crossed Helios’ face as he looked at MJ, making her cover her mouth because she knew any time now, she would start breaking down.
“Is that it? The first sign of trouble and you bail out? Is that what ‘normal’ fucking means?”
She shook her head, crying silently at the look of betrayal in his gaze. “It just won’t work. You deserve better—”
“No. Don’t do that. Don’t fucking say that. This time, let’s have it all fucking out in the open. You’re the one who wants me to change, and you’re the one who thinks I haven’t changed enough. So this?” Bitterness colored his voice. “You’re the one thinking I’m not good enough for you.”