Chapter 50
Arushi's POV
It's been a month na, like grabe talaga. Parang ang bilis ng panahon. Pero kahit mabilis, hindi ko naramdaman ‘yung pagod, ‘yung stress, or even loneliness. Kasi… I have her.
Si Celest. Si Professor Haneul. My demon. My secret.
We still see each other in secret. Pag may time ako, I go to her condo. Minsan dun lang kami sa secret room niya sa office. Alam mo ‘yung feeling na kahit ilang beses na kaming nagsama physically, I still crave for her presence. Her scent. Her voice. Her cold stares that now warm only for me.
Lagi kong naiisip, Shit, mahal na mahal ko na talaga siya.
Pag nasa bahay ako, wala silang alam. I keep my promise to her. Kahit ang hirap, lalo na pag lagi akong tinutukso nina Mama Primo, Citrine, pati na rin si Mommy Auburn.
Kanina lang, habang kumakain kami ng lunch sa dining table…
Napakagat ako sa dila ko. I almost choke sa kanin. “Ha? Wala po, Mommy,” I answered fast. Super defensive. Wrong move.
Then Citrine, syempre hindi nagpahuli, biglang bumanat. “Walang sekretong hindi nabubunyag, Troney. Baka mamaya buntis na ‘yang babae mo noh?”
I nearly spat my juice. “Ano ka ba Citrine? Grabe ka mag-isip.”
Pero Mommy Auburn suddenly stared at me. As in serious stare. “Citrone. Tell me. Nabuntis mo na ba siya? Kaya ka ba nagtatago?”
I shook my head quickly. “No, Mommy! Not yet.!”
Sabay tawa ni Mama Primo at Citrine. “NOT YET?!” sabay nilang sinabi. Ang lakas pa.
Napahawak ako sa ulo ko. “WHAT?.”
Mommy Auburn raised an eyebrow. “Citrone… if you impregnated her already, just tell me. I won’t get mad. Mas gusto ko nang alam ko kaysa nagtatago ka.”
I panicked a little. “Mommy, hindi nga po, promise!”
Then Mama Primo, always the chaotic one, smirked. “So you’re using protection, huh? That’s good. Anak nga talaga kita.”
I laughed softly. Like legit. It’s been a while since napatawa ako ng ganito sa kanila. But behind my smile, I was thinking of Celest.
Someday kaya… we’ll be like this too? Yung may sariling pamilya? Laughing, teasing, eating together? Pero alam ko rin na… it’s impossible. I mean, how can a demon and a human build a life in the real world? Sa panaginip lang yata ‘yon pwede.
Pero kahit papano, I'm happy. I'm in love. I'm living a double life pero worth it.
After lunch, I went back to my room. Locked the door and lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
My phone buzzed.
[Celest]: "I miss you. Tonight, my place?"
I smiled.
[Me]: "Of course. I’ll bring wine."
Gusto ko siyang i-spoil. She always takes care of me in her own way—through her love, her silence, her body. She may be a succubus, pero for me, she's home.
Napapikit ako sandali. In my head, I replayed our last night together.
I was in her arms, sweaty, both of us breathless. Her lips were on my chest. Her voice whispering, "You belong to me, Arushi."
And I whispered back, "Always."
---
That night, I made sure maaga ako nakalabas ng bahay. Sabi ko kay Mommy Auburn, may group study kami. She looked suspicious, pero she let me go. Citrine, on the other hand, smirked at me habang lumalabas ako ng bahay.
Pagdating ko sa condo ni Celest, she opened the door na naka-robe lang siya. Her hair down. Her eyes glowing sa hallway light.
And that night, we didn’t even reach the bed agad. Right there sa couch, we kissed. We stripped each other. We made love again and again. And in between, we whispered dreams we could never say in the daylight.
We both knew it was temporary. But we didn’t care.
---
The next day, habang nasa school ako, wala akong tulog. Pero wala rin akong regrets.
Raegan stared at me while we were walking to class.
Forest laughed. “Yup, kita sa aura mo. Galing mo magtago, pero hindi ka na namin mabobola. You’re glowing, girl.”
I laughed nervously. “Alam niyo ba? Ang kulit niyo.”
Raegan smirked. “Sige. Hindi ka aamin. Pero one day, babagsak din ang pader mo, Arushi.”
Yeah. Maybe one day.
But not now. Not yet.
For now, she’s mine. I’m hers. And that’s enough.
---
It’s weird. Ang tahimik ng morning ko. No buzzing notification, no “good morning, love” na message from her.
I stared at my phone, iniisip ko baka napuyat lang siya or may emergency.
So I waited. Checked my inbox every five minutes.
Nag-refresh ako ng Instagram, ng Messenger, kahit email. Wala. Radio silence.
When I arrived sa university, I was excited pa rin—kasi baka nandito na siya, baka maabutan ko siya sa classroom. Her 10AM class. Yung favorite kong subject kahit minsan sobrang seryoso ng vibes. Pero when I entered the room, something’s wrong. Wala siya.
My heart dropped. Nagtanong ako sa seatmate ko, “Where’s Prof. Haneul?”
I smiled weakly. “Oo nga eh.”
After the class, I rushed to her office. Baka nandun siya. Baka tinamad lang pumasok. Or baka gusto niya ng private time.
But when I arrived, the door was locked.
I knocked once. Twice.
Walang sumagot.
I waited outside for maybe fifteen minutes. Then I asked the faculty assistant, “Miss, do you know where Professor Haneul is?”
The assistant shook her head. “Wala pa siyang notice. Hindi rin siya sumasagot sa call or email namin.”
Kinabahan na ako.
Later that day, I found Professor Hwang sa hallway. “Prof, do you know where Professor Haneul is? She’s not responding to my messages.”
Professor Hwang looked at me and said, “Ah, yes. She’s officially marked absent today. She filed emergency leave yesterday... but didn’t give much detail.”
My knees almost gave out. I swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled a bit. “Okay po. Thank you.”
After that, I ran. Literal. I went to her condo building. The one she secretly gave me access to. Yung place where we made love, where we whispered each other's names, where we laughed and planned to cook together pero ended up sa bed ulit.
But when I reached her unit, the lights were off. Door locked.
Wala na siya.
---
Weeks later
She never came back. Her office stayed locked. Her condo? Still inaccessible. No one saw her. No one had updates. No contact.
Her phone? Unreachable. Message lang ng telco company na “The number you have dialed is either unattended or out of coverage area.”
I was going crazy. As in literal. I wanted to scream. I wanted to break something. I wanted to burn everything we touched.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I stayed quiet.
---
Months later
I was still hoping.
Pero nothing.
Walang Celest.
Walang Professor Haneul.
Walang succubus sa panaginip ko.
Nothing.
I walked through the campus like a ghost. I didn’t talk much. Raegan would still call me “Troney, para kang zombie lately,” pero I just smiled and nodded.
Forest would try to joke, “Hey, ‘di ka na nagjo-joke ngayon ah, ano ba?” and I’d just shrug.
Even Citrine noticed. “Arushi, you’re really scaring me, okay? I know you’re hiding something.”
But I just kept walking.
I distanced myself from everyone.
Sa bahay, I barely spoke. Mommy Auburn would try to ask, “Anak, is there something wrong?” but I’d shake my head and say, “Pagod lang po.”
Mama Primo would still tease, “Siya na naman ‘to oh, brokenhearted,” trying to lighten the mood. But even she noticed. I wasn’t the same.
Citrine cornered me one night. “troney,” she said, voice serious. “Is she gone?”
I looked at her, eyes heavy from all the crying I’ve done when they’re all asleep. And I just nodded.
---
Every night, I lay on my bed, holding my phone like a lifeline.
I’d open our pictures. Screenshots of our messages. The selfie I took with her the first time she smiled genuinely after sex. The blurry one she took of me while I was cooking ramen half-naked in her condo.
I missed her.
I missed her voice.
I missed her cold but gentle hands.
I missed the way she’d say my name in that low, hungry tone. I missed her laugh, her warmth, even her threats na puputulin niya yung little buddy ko kapag nakita niya akong may iba.
She didn’t even give me a chance to say goodbye.
I kept thinking, “Ito ba yung consequence na sinasabi niya noon?” Yung binulong niya sa akin habang magkadikit kami, that someday, she might vanish from this world because of loving me?
Was she taken?
Was she punished?
Was she dead?
I didn’t know. And it was killing me.
---
One night, I dreamt. For the first time in a long time.
I was in the cabin. The one from my dreams.
But it was empty.
No humming.
No scent of wood sage and sea salt.
No Celest.
I walked around, screaming, “Celest! Where are you? Please, talk to me!”
Silence.
I fell on the floor, sobbing.
But no one came.
When I woke up, my pillow was wet from tears. My chest felt hollow.
---
I started skipping meals. Locking myself in my room. Hindi na ako lumalabas masyado. My family got worried, but I kept brushing them off.
But deep down, I knew I wasn’t.
I was devastated. I was lost.
Because I didn’t just lose a lover.
I lost my light. My dream. My Celest.
---