Chapter 47 Hannah
HANNAH
“Imissed you so much,” Julia cries as she hugs me tightly.
“I missed you too,” I reply, hugging her back.
We sit down at the table after I hug Tiff and my grandma.
“Tell us everything,” Julia says, her eyes wide as she looks at me.
I narrow my gaze at her. I will not be telling them everything with my grandma present, and she knows that.
Tiff shoves gently at her wife. “Not everything. But what happened? Where were you?”
“I can’t tell you why we were sent away,” I say.
I remember that much from the last bit of conversation last night at the station.
“But we were in Missouri. We stayed with a really sweet couple who had a little cottage on their property.” I tell them everything.
How Dottie taught me so many new recipes, how she reminded me of mom.
I tell them about how close Thomas and I got, and how special he makes me feel.
Then, I tell them about how scared I am now that we’re home. Julia and Tiff knew a bit about it, but they didn’t know the extent of it.
“I don’t know what to think. He told everyone we were engaged to keep me safe, but now that we’re home, does that continue? Are we actually engaged?” I let out a heavy breath as I finish.
“Hannah, talk to him,” Tiff encourages. “This is all stuff that could be answered if you talk to him.”
“I agree with Tiff,” Grandma says, reaching across the table to take my hand.
“I’m so scared. What if he doesn’t want me anymore outside of the girl he knew at the cottage?”
“Stop that,” Julia says tersely. “He is one of the nicest people I’ve ever known.
If things end, we will take that as it comes.
And like I said before. Thomas really likes you, even loves you.
Look at the lengths he went to to keep you safe, Han.
That’s not a man who is going to drop you as soon as you get home.
Give him a chance. You are the same girl you were at the cottage. ”
She’s right. I know she is. Irritation with myself blooms in my chest, and I take a bite of my food to distract myself.
“I have therapy this afternoon, so hopefully that will help me feel more settled,” I say.
“You should still talk to him,” Julia says.
“I know, I will.”
She raises her brow questioningly.
“I will,” I say firmly.
“Good.”
The rest of breakfast feels like a normal day. Like I wasn’t gone for six weeks and am fake engaged to the man who I think I might love. It’s normal, and exactly what I needed.
I text Thomas after breakfast, letting him know I have therapy, and then he can come over. I want to see him. I miss him.
The day goes by slowly as I wait for my appointment, but thankfully, it’s finally time. I drive across town to Kimberly’s office, registering with Laura and taking a seat in the waiting room.
Even though I’ve been seeing Kimberly for years now, I still get nervous before each appointment. I shouldn’t, the woman knows everything about me and has never judged me, but I still do. It’s annoying.
“Hannah?” Kimberly calls my name from her office door, and I stand and head over to her. “It is so good to see you, Hannah. I’ve been worried about you.”
“Thanks,” I say with an awkward smile. I sit down on the couch where I’ve spent many hours, immediately getting comfortable and sinking in.
“Now, I know you might not be able to tell me everything yet, but tell me what you can,” she starts.
I take a deep breath. “It’s been a long few weeks,” I say, bursting into tears. I grab a tissue from the table beside the couch, wiping at my face. “Sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Hannah. Are you able to give me a little insight as to what's going on inside your head?”
Nodding, I start. “Thomas Cunningham asked me out on a date, and together we witnessed a detective get shot. The person who shot him made threats on Thomas’s and my life, so we were sent to a safe house, only after Thomas told them we were engaged so that I could go with him.
I’m pretty sure that now I’m in love with my fake fiancé, and I’m scared he’s going to get sick of me and let me go. ”
I exhale heavily, wiping tears from my cheeks.
“Wow,” Kimberly says. “Sounds like you’ve had an eventful few weeks.”
“You could say that,” I huff. “I had my first kiss and lost my virginity.”
Kimberly doesn’t say anything, simply waits for me to continue.
I tell her about my fears of him leaving me now that we’re home, and the more I say it out loud, the more I realize how ridiculous it is.
“Has he given you any indication that he’s going to pull away? Or that he’s going to end things with you?”
I choke out a watery laugh. “No. I’m so ridiculous.”
“No, you’re not, Hannah. We’ve been over this.
You have come so far since we first met, and I am so proud of you.
This is a bump in the road. We have to change your goals, because you’ve accomplished most of your old ones.
New goals are scary, but good. Now, what are some new goals you’d like to add to your list? ”
I take a steadying breath and say the first thing that comes to mind.
“I want to tell Thomas I love him.” The words fly off my tongue.
Kimberly doesn’t speak for a moment, letting me process my own words.
“I want to date him, normally. We haven’t had a chance to just be a normal couple, and while I want to be with him all the time, we need to get out of our bubble.”
“Good, those are both great. What else?” Kimberly asks.
“I want him to meet my family.” Imagining a day spent with Thomas, my sisters and grandmother makes my heart flutter in excitement. I want that. The comfort of all my favorite people in one place.
There’s a hint of nervousness when I think about it, because what if they don’t like him when they get to know him? At the same time, I know how easy it is to know and love Thomas, so the fear disappears as soon as it appears. They also will love him because I do.
“What went through your brain just now?” Kimberly wonders.
“I got worried they wouldn’t like him, but then I realized that if I love him, then they will, too. He’s easy to love.”
“Tell me more,” Kimberly prompts.
“I want to meet his family. I’ve met some of them, but not his parents. It’s going to be scary, but I know if he’s what I want, then it’s what I have to do.”
“Those are very good goals, Hannah. Are there any more?”
“Not right now.”
“Good. How are you going to achieve those goals?”
This is easier I suppose. “Go on dates, see if I can go to a Sunday brunch with Thomas, and coordinate something with my family to meet him as my partner.”
“Wonderful. It seems like you have a good grasp on what you want, Hannah. I know how hard your anxiety can make things, but I’m proud of you, and how far you’ve come, especially with this huge change in your life.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, my cheeks flushing. It feels good to make a plan for a few things, and as always, there’s still work to be done, but it’s a good start.