✧･Epilogue
(So, the last chapter was supposed to be the epilogue, but I decided that you guys, Claire and Mae, and I... we all deserved this moment. Enjoy guys! I love you all.)
The music changes, softening into something slower, and I feel the shift in the room before I even look toward the doors.
For the last few minutes, I've been trying to convince myself to breathe normally.
It isn't working.
My hands are clasped together in front of me, fingers twisting against each other, and every few seconds I have to take another slow breath because my chest feels too tight.
I keep looking at the doors, then looking away. Then back again, and it feels like time has slowed down just to make me wait.
I hear the quiet murmur of the room settle, the kind of silence that only happens when everyone realizes something important is about to happen. Somewhere behind me, someone shifts, then someone takes a breath. The music continues, each note stretching longer than it should.
Then the doors begin to open, and everything inside me goes still.
Mae appears in the doorway.
For a second, I don't understand what I'm seeing.
I know her face. I've known it for years. I know every little expression she makes, the way one corner of her mouth lifts when she's trying not to laugh, the way her eyes narrow when she's pretending to be annoyed with me, the way she looks at me when she thinks I'm not paying attention.
But I've never seen her like this.
She's wearing a white wedding dress.
The fabric falls softly around her, moving with every careful step she takes.
Her hair is styled beautifully, though a few pieces have already escaped near her face, and there's something so unmistakably Mae about that small imperfection that it almost makes me laugh through the tears already gathering in my eyes.
Her father is beside her, one hand gently holding hers as he walks her down the aisle, and suddenly, I can't see anything else.
The room blurs around her, the people disappear. The flowers, the chairs, the decorations - all of it fades into the background until there is only Mae walking toward me.
One step, then another.
I feel my eyes burning, and I blink quickly, trying to hold everything back. I tell myself I can make it through this without completely falling apart.
Then Mae looks at me.
And she smiles.
Whatever control I had left is gone.
My breath catches painfully in my throat. My vision fills with tears so quickly that I can barely see her anymore, and I press my lips together as a shaky laugh escapes me. I look down for half a second, trying to pull myself together, but my shoulders tremble anyway.
I feel a hand settle gently against my shoulder.
Helena.
She doesn't say anything, because she doesn't need to. Her hand stays there, warm and steady, and somehow that small touch is enough to keep me standing when everything inside me feels like it's coming apart.
I close my eyes for a moment and breathe.
When I open them again, Mae is still there, still walking toward me, and with every step she takes, memories seem to rise up around me.
The first time I met her.
The coffee shop.
The years when I loved her and couldn't tell her.
The wedding night.
The morning after.
Leaving.
Six years of convincing myself that I could live without her.
Coming home.
Finding her again.
The fights.
The tattoo.
The way everything between us came rushing back.
Her moving into my house.
Her brushes scattered across the studio.
Her music playing too loudly in the kitchen.
Her stealing my clothes.
Her falling asleep beside me.
The painting.
The proposal.
You've always had me.
I swallow hard.
God.
I remember thinking there was a time when I would never get this. A time when I thought the best I could do was love her from somewhere far away and pretend that was enough.
And now she's walking toward me in a wedding dress. She's walking toward me because she chose me... because I chose her. Because somehow, after all the years we lost and all the ways we hurt each other, we made it here.
My chest aches with the weight of it.
Mae is closer now, and I can see the tears in her eyes. I can see the tiny smile she's trying to hold onto, and I realize I'm crying so hard that I don't even care anymore.
She reaches the end of the aisle.
Her father looks at me, then at her, and there's something warm in his expression before he gently takes Mae's hand and places it in mine.
The moment our hands touch, I feel it, that familiar warmth. That little spark that has always been there, even when we tried so hard to bury it.
Mae's fingers curl around mine and I squeeze them immediately, not because I'm afraid she'll disappear. But because I finally understand that she isn't going anywhere.
I look at our joined hands, then back at her face.
My future.
My wife.
The thought nearly takes my breath away all over again.
Mae gives my hand a tiny squeeze.
"You okay?" she whispers, her voice barely carrying over the music.
I laugh through my tears, shaking my head.
"Not even remotely."
Her smile grows and I look at her for a long moment, unable to stop smiling even as tears continue falling down my face.
And for once, I don't think about everything we lost. I don't think about the years I spent afraid. I don't think about what could have happened or how easily we could have never found our way back to each other.
I only look at the woman standing in front of me. The woman I loved before I knew how to say it. The woman I lost. The woman I found again.
The woman I'm about to call my wife.
"I love you so much." The words barely make it past my lips, my voice so quiet and unsteady that I'm not even sure anyone else could hear me.
Mae's breath hitches.
Her fingers tighten around mine, and she gives me the smallest nod, her eyes shining as another tear slips down her cheek.
"I love you so much," she whispers back, squeezing my hand again.
For a few seconds, neither of us says anything. We just stand there holding onto each other, smiling through tears like neither of us knows what else to do with everything we're feeling.
Eventually, I glance past her shoulder, and that's when I remember we're not alone.
June is absolutely failing at keeping herself together.
Tears are pouring down her face, and she's trying to wipe them away with one hand while laughing through them with the other.
I can practically see Helena behind me wanting to turn around and go to her, but we both know June is perfectly fine.
More than fine, really. She's just feeling everything right along with us.
August is standing beside her, tall and composed as ever, his hands folded neatly in front of him. He looks like he has everything under control until I notice the tears gathered in his eyes.
Apparently, he's not nearly as composed as he'd like everyone to believe.
Then I hear Lucas somewhere behind me.
"Why is this so emotional?"
I almost laugh.
I can hear my little sister sniffling somewhere behind me, followed by a quiet laugh that immediately turns into another sniffle. When I glance toward her, she's trying to hide her face, which only makes me smile harder.
My grandmother is sitting near the front, pressing a tissue carefully beneath her eyes. She catches me looking at her and gives me a little smile before dabbing at another tear.
I look back toward Mae's parents.
Her father has taken his seat beside her mother now, and he has one arm wrapped around her shoulders as she cries into a tissue. He leans down to whisper something to her, and she shakes her head with a watery laugh before resting her head against his shoulder.
I can't help the smile that spreads across my face.
Apparently, I'm not the only one crying. I look back at Mae, and she's watching me with that same soft smile, her eyes still wet.
"You see?" she murmurs.
I raise an eyebrow, still holding her hand.
"See what?"
She glances around the room, then back at me.
"Everyone's crying."
I let out a quiet laugh, shaking my head as I squeeze her fingers.
"That's because you're dramatic."
Mae's mouth falls open in mock offense. "Me?"
She smiles again, and I swear that might be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Then the music swells softly around us, and the room slowly comes back into focus - the flowers, the people, the warmth of the lights, the quiet movement of everyone settling into their seats.
But Mae's hand is still in mine, and that's all I really need to see. I look down at our joined hands and then back at her face, letting myself feel the full weight of this moment.
After everything, she's here.
The officiant steps forward, offering us both a warm smile before turning toward the room. I barely hear the opening words. My attention keeps drifting back to Mae, to the way she keeps rubbing her thumb gently over my knuckles, like she's reassuring me without saying a word.
I take a slow breath and Mae does the same.
Then the officiant looks at her. "Mae, whenever you're ready."
Mae's eyes flick toward mine, and for the first time since she reached me, I see a little nervousness there.
It makes me smile and I squeeze her hand. She smiles back, takes one more breath, and turns completely toward me.
"I had this whole thing planned," she says, her voice already a little shaky.
A quiet laugh moves through the room.
"Of course you did."
Her eyes narrow playfully. "Don't interrupt my vows."
"Sorry."
"I'm serious."
"I know."
Another small laugh passes between us, and just like that, some of the tension leaves her shoulders.
She looks at me again.
"I don't know if I can put everything I feel for you into words," she begins. "I've tried. I've written things down. I've started over. I've changed sentences. I've probably driven myself crazy trying to figure out how to explain something that has never really felt explainable."
Her thumb brushes across my hand again.