Chapter 28
Clay
My thumb hovers over Grant’s phone. I’ve already called five times and left a voicemail each time, and now I’m staring at her name, willing her to answer.
Jo. Please.
I tap her name again. It Rings. And rings. And rings. Straight to voicemail.
“Jo?” I whisper, more to myself than anyone. My chest tightens. Why isn’t she picking up? Is she hurt? Upset?
I send another text.
It’s Clay. Are you okay? Please call me.
No reply.
One more.
I’m fine. Grant’s okay too. I just want to hear from you.
I continue to stare at the screen.
Nothing.
The minutes stretch like hours. Every ring, every “delivered” notification I see—I can’t stop checking. My stomach is in knots, and my bruised hands shake.
I pace our bedroom, muttering to myself like it will provide me answers. She can’t just disappear. She’s okay. She’s safe.
But what if she’s not? What if she’s hurt? Or worse, we hurt her?
My mind races with more thoughts. The accident. The letters. All the ways things could have gone wrong.
I try calling again. More ringing in my ears, but hearing her voice on her message helps a little. Like I can pretend for fifteen seconds that she’s talking to me.
I slump onto the bed, running my hand through my hair. Just answer. Just pick up the phone. Anything.
This can’t be the way things end. I won’t let it be.
She’s mine.
I just need her to hear it. For me to tell her she doesn’t have to be alone. That I’m here for her.
My thumb hovers over her contact again, almost afraid to press. Afraid to hear the silence on the other end.
Because right now, silence is worse than any answer she could give.
I throw Grant’s phone across the bed at him. Where the fuck is she? I don’t understand any of this.
"She's not answering. Not my texts or calls. I've filled her voicemail. And nothing."
"It's late. She's probably sleeping, love."
It is ten o’clock at night. I sigh.
I need to tell him. He needs to know how I'm really feeling about Jo. The one and only woman to turn me upside down in an instant.
I don't know where this will take us, but Grant is my husband. We can work this out. I secretly want him to have feelings for her, too, but either way, I want Jo in our lives. I need her in my life. Everything changed the minute I brought her home. Seeing her in our house. Our space.
"Grant... I... I need to tell you something." My voice wavers. Damn. Why is this so hard?
"Anything. You know you can tell me anything." Grant joins me on our bed.
"I'm just not sure how you're going to feel." I've always known where Grant stands, and this, I'm clueless.
“I'm falling for her." The admission comes out quietly, and I can't even look at him for fear he won’t accept it. The fear that it could pull us apart.
“I had a suspicion it was going that direction. We've never talked about having a permanent partner, a third to our marriage. And before Jo, it’s been a while since we shared someone. This seems fast. Sudden."
“She’s more, Grant. I don't know how or when, but she's more to me.” I pause. “I love you. I'll always love you, but I think I could love her too.”
Grant is silent for a long time. I can almost feel him processing my words and trying to make sense of them.
My anxiety increases with each passing second because I don’t know.
He’s right. Before having Jo between us, it had been a while, and probably so long that he thought that part of our life was done.
But nothing has ever felt more right than with her.
I just have to hope I can show him that.
“Thank you for telling me. I don't know how we navigate this, but I need a little time. I thought I lost you, and I never want to feel that.”
“I admit there's something different with Jo, but..." Grant points to my burns and cut-up skin. “But this is too real. I’m too raw right now.”
I look at Grant, tears blur his eyes. I can’t imagine the real-life nightmare that played out in front of him. His business. His husband.
My body hurts, but my heart is aching more. I know I need to rest, but I can’t until I know she’s okay. Jo needs to know how I feel, too.
"I know, and I wish this had never happened, but I don't want her thinking we just left her. I'm worried about her. She has no family. Well, none have ever shown up, and she doesn’t have many friends. I don’t want her to think we ditched her, or worse, see this on the news.
You know that her fiancé's death still weighs heavily on her life. "
“Clay, love, you can't always be there for her."
He’s not getting it.
“But that’s just it. I love her!” I’m half yelling at this point. I don’t care. I need him to understand.
“Grant, just as you are worried about me, I am for her. She deserves someone to be in her life. She deserves so much more.”
I admitted that I love her. My heart swells with pride for the admission. For finally saying those words. I need Jo to hear them, too.
Grant is quiet again. He’s not even looking at me. Fuck. I take several deep breaths. Normally, I’m always calm; he should see what this is doing to me. That love—when right—it hurts when it’s not right next to you. Where she should be.
“Say something, please.”
“I don’t know what to say. I didn’t think you’d completely fall for her. You loving her will change things. It will change us.” He sighs heavily, almost defeated.
“It doesn’t have to change us, not if we don’t want it to. We can grow our love to include her.” I hesitate, but I need to know. “Do you feel anything for her?”
“Of course I do. She came into my life already important to me, because she’s important to you. But Clay, I refuse to lose you. Ever. I don’t know how she fits into our lives. I just don’t know.”
That I can work with, I need to remember he’s still living in fear of thinking I was dead.
“Grant, I’m right here. I will always be here with you. I need you just as much. My heart has room for both of you. Equally.”
I reach up and tangle my fingers in his hair, pulling him in for a kiss. I think we both need this. We need to feel our skin touching and know we are alive. To know that everything will be okay.
“Touch me. Make love to me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I won’t break. Grant, we need each other. I need you.” I spread my legs and tug his hair to give him the hint. He hesitates only for a second.
“Tell me if anything is too much.”
“Your cock will distract me from the pain and create a welcoming ache that I miss. You know I need your cum in me. Remind me that I’m yours.”
The familiar stretch and burn as he slides slowly into me is my undoing. I love this man, and I would never hurt him. I just want him to see that I can love them both.
“Kiss me again. I need to feel all of you on my body.” His weight against me is like the warmest blanket. He thrusts slowly, deeply, while he kisses all my cuts and then my lips.
There’s no rush. No hurry to finish. The long, slow burn is just what we need right now. I need to remind him that I’m breathing, and we can get through anything together.
I let go, spurting hot cum between our bodies. My ass clenches tight around Grant’s cock, giving him the extra pressure I know he needs to go over the edge with me. I feel his cock pulse in me as he pulls me as close as we can get.
“I love you, Clay.”
“I love you too,” I murmur. “And Grant, I think you could love her someday, too.”