Chapter 9 #2
‘Yes,’ she bites out, ‘it’s that bad.’
‘Is there anything in particular that rubs you up the wrong way about her?’ I ask, intrigued.
I can see that April might be a little officious, but isn’t it the role of the eldest child to keep the younger siblings in line?
‘The fact she wishes I’d never been born probably has something to do with it,’ she says, her eyes flashing with something that could be anger, or perhaps hurt.
‘What? Surely she’s never said that to you?’
‘You wanna bet?’ she says, raising her eyebrows in challenge.
Before I have a chance to push her for more information the housekeeper strides into the kitchen. Her gaze travels from where I’m lounging against the counter to where Maya is standing ramrod-straight, glaring at me with defiance in her eyes. She turns around and walks straight back out again.
Smart woman.
Maya continues to frown at me, but I’m sure I catch a hint of anguish in her expression now.
My chest contracts at the sight of it and I reach for her.
Despite being hyper aware of how easily we could get caught, I’m not going to just walk away from her when she’s clearly feeling upset about being ignored.
Because, despite my determination not to, I care about her. She’s the most gutsy, unpredictable and extraordinary woman I’ve ever met, and she deserves better than that.
I decide a charm offensive is probably in order to smooth the tension out.
‘Are you feeling okay?’ I ask, pushing a loose strand of hair away from her face.
She looks at me with big, sorrowful eyes. ‘Headache.’
‘You know the best cure for that?’ I murmur, moving in to crowd her against the kitchen counter.
Her body language is stiff, as if she’s holding herself back, but the heat she radiates towards me and the seductive scent of her in my nostrils only hardens my resolve.
Her expression is all cool indifference, but I see the spark of interest in her eyes. ‘Enlighten me,’ she says, with a bored-sounding sigh.
‘An orgasm.’
Her eyebrows rise fractionally, though I can tell she’s trying not to give me any reaction. She’s still punishing me for ignoring her earlier.
‘Oh, really? And who around here is going to give me one of those?’
Despite her annoyance with me I can tell she can’t resist the challenge I’m throwing out.
‘Come with me and maybe you’ll find out.’
I’m just stepping away from her when I’m suddenly aware of someone walking into the kitchen behind me.
All the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and as I turn and see who it is my stomach drops to the floor. It’s Maxim.
He gives us both a look that I can’t quite interpret and my body flushes hot, then cold.
Did he hear what I just said to her?
Fuck. What is wrong with me? How could I have been so careless? This thing with Maya has messed so thoroughly with my head that I’m taking stupid risks now.
My heart thumps hard against my chest and goosebumps flare across my skin as Maxim walks towards me.
‘Ben – glad I caught you. I wanted a quick word before you go,’ he says, clapping a hand on my shoulder in a fatherly sort of gesture and making me jump a little at the force of it. ‘It looked as though you and April were getting on well over brunch.’
This is said as a statement, not a question.
I stare at him in panicked confusion for a moment, before it dawns on me that he can’t have heard what Maya and I were saying and is talking about something completely different.
I force myself to focus. I have to keep a cool head here or this could go very wrong.
‘Yes, she and I have a lot in common,’ I agree. ‘Especially where our views on how to run a business are concerned. She’s a very switched-on woman. You must be proud of the way she’s developing her role in your company.’
I’m twitchy with the awareness that Maya is standing right there beside me, listening to every word of this – especially because I now know how much she dislikes her sister – but I also know it’d be a bad idea to try and fob Maxim off with anything but the truth right now.
He smiles, which puts me immediately on my guard. The man is not normally a smiler.
‘I was going to suggest you take her out for dinner. Get to know her a bit better. Perhaps while you’re there the two of you could discuss our role in your business going forward,’ he says, with great emphasis on ‘our’.
And I suddenly realise exactly what’s going on here. He wants me to partner with April – and not just in a business sense.
In my peripheral vision I see Maya turn her head sharply to look at me, and in that moment, I know that this is probably my one and only opportunity to tell Maxim about us – openly and honestly.
To let this thing between us out into the world and perhaps turn it into something more than it’s been allowed to be up till this point.
But do I want that?
Do I?
I know I have about two seconds to decide, and I’m on the verge of saying the words when I see something in Maxim’s face that stops me – a hardness and a determination to get what he wants.
With a stab of frustration, I realise I have to do as he asks if I still want him on my executive board. A wrong move now could jeopardise the company I’ve strived so hard to make a success of, and I can’t let it all slip through my fingers.
My heart thumps wildly against my chest.
I can’t do it. I can’t tell him about us.
Not right now.
And it’s just dinner with April at this point. Surely Maya will understand that?
Pushing a dissenting voice to the back of my mind, I give Maxim a returning smile and say, ‘Yes, sure. That sounds like a good idea. I’ll give her a call in the week to arrange it.’
Maxim gives me a nod of approval. ‘Good. Well, thanks again for coming over today. I’m looking forward to getting to know you better as our partnership develops.’
‘Me too,’ I say, though my voice lacks its usual confidence.
I sound like a fucking fake.
Maxim’s mobile phone begins to ring, and he excuses himself with a nod of apology.
I watch him walk away, wondering how it was he came to be such a devious bastard. Maybe it’s because he lost his wife at such an early age. Perhaps it damaged him more than he lets on.
As soon as he’s gone I glance towards Maya, and I’m assaulted by a wave of self-reproach as I take in the shuttered expression on her face.
‘Well, I guess that’s you and me finished, then,’ she says.
If the look in her eyes wasn’t so hard I’d think she was joking. But I know her too well by now.
‘It’s just a business dinner with April.’
‘Don’t be an idiot, Ben. You know that’s not what it really is.
My father wants you and April to become a power couple – one he can control.
You can’t go out with her and continue this fling with me.
It’s too dangerous. There’s no way he won’t find out about us.
Not when his precious April’s involved. He’ll have you under such close scrutiny you won’t be able to take a piss without him knowing about it. ’
‘I have to play his game for now – for the sake of my business,’ I say with a growl of frustration.
I want to tell her how close I was to exposing us, but I can’t bring myself to. Perhaps because deep down I’m ashamed of myself for not having the guts to do it, and I know what a coward it’ll make me seem if I say it out loud.
And I really don’t want her to think of me like that.
‘I understand, Ben – really. Your business has to come first,’ she says, with a cold finality that sends a shock of distress through me.
She shakes her head, making her long, silky hair shimmer across her shoulders. ‘I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Money and power always win out.’
‘Maya—’
But she cuts me off with a raised hand. That cool insouciance act is back.
‘This thing between us always had a shelf-life and I guess we’ve just reached it.’
I stare at her in shock. Where has the warm, playful woman I’ve got to know over these last few weeks gone?
‘Look—’
Again, she waves away my protest, her face so blank of emotion it’s chilling.
‘A word of warning, though. April dumped a man she was actually in love with because she was afraid it’d make her look bad when word got out that his father was a money-grubbing liar, so she won’t think twice about ditching you the moment you’re not useful to her any more.’
She moves closer to me… so close I can smell her familiar sensual scent – which, of course, has the same discomposing effect on me that it always does.
‘I recommend you watch your back. I wouldn’t put it past my father to try and steal your company out from under you,’ she adds. ‘With April’s help.’
‘Wait – can we please just talk about this?’
She shakes her head with such finality I know she’s made up her mind. She’s ending this.
‘Bye, Ben. It’s been fun. Have a nice life.’
Before I’m able to utter a word in response she turns her back on me and walks away, leaving me standing in the empty room, staring after her with the terrifying sense that I’ve just lost something very precious and I might never be able to get it back.