Chapter Twenty-Two
December 2014, Canterbury, Kent, England
Molly’s eyes flew open and she gasped for breath. In her dreams, it had been Mark mugging her this time, and she’d woken up just as he’d pushed her to the floor. She was sprawled out on the sofa and Chris was asleep next to her. Taking some deep breaths, she closed her eyes. You’re safe. You’re safe, she told herself. As she settled herself back down, pulling the blanket back over them, Chris stirred next to her.
‘Come here,’ he whispered, lifting his arm.
She snuggled underneath it, her heartbeat slowing, her eyes closing again.
When she woke up again, the sunlight was streaming through the window, making her squint. Her throat felt dry, and her stomach was still churning from the night before. Trying not to wake Chris, she tiptoed out of the room and into the kitchen, and poured herself a glass of water, then another one for Chris. She sipped the water, and leant against the worktop, taking several deep breaths. When she walked back into the living room, Chris was awake and rubbing his eyes.
‘Morning,’ he said. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Honestly?’ She handed him the glass of water, then put her own down on the coffee table before sitting on the sofa next to him. ‘I’ve been better. How about you? Did you get back to sleep after…?’
‘The nightmare?’ he nodded. ‘I slept fine.’ He looked at his watch. ‘It’s eight am. That’s a lie in for me.’
‘Same,’ she said. ‘Those six am alarms are so shit, aren’t they?’
‘Who is this Molly?’ He laughed. ‘She wears jeans and sweatpants. She has slightly messed up hair and she swears.’
‘You’re unpeeling a few more layers, Chris,’ she replied, laughing.
‘I like all of them so far,’ he said. ‘I can’t wait to see what you reveal next.’
‘I think I’ve done enough revealing for now,’ she said. She gave him a weak smile and rubbed her face. ‘Do you mind if I use the bathroom?’
‘Sure, go ahead,’ he replied. ‘Scott will still be asleep, so you’re all good.’
‘Thanks,’ she replied. ‘I’ll be right back.’
She walked down the hall into the bathroom and washed her face. Her hair was…interesting this morning. It had got damp in the shower last night, and had dried curly, like a pale blonde mane around her face. She shuddered as she thought about running through the city. She’d never seen Mark like that before, but she’d never said no to him, or stood up to him before either.
She returned to the living room, where Chris was hunched over his laptop, one hand rubbing his chin. He smiled at her. ‘Hey. I’m just going to grab a shower, then I’ll make breakfast, unless you’re already hungry?’
She shook her head. ‘Not really, no. Can I do anything?’
‘You can make the tea,’ he replied. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’
‘Sure,’ she replied, nodding as Chris walked out of the room.
She picked up her phone and cautiously unlocked it. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that there were no calls or messages from Mark. She folded up the blanket and put it back onto the armchair, before walking out to the kitchen.
‘Hey Molly!’ Scott said, smiling at her.
He was leaning against the worktop, stirring a mug of coffee. He was wearing a pair of checked pyjama bottoms, a blue T-shirt, and his jet-black hair was dishevelled.
‘Love the outfit,’ he said. ‘How are you doing this morning?’
‘I’m alright I think,’ she said, nodding. ‘I feel kind of shell shocked today, but I’m used to that.’ She shrugged and laughed, although it wasn’t a laugh, it was a cackle. Embarrassed, she put her hand over her mouth.
‘You do that too? Saskia does that.’ Scott shook his head. ‘You two are so alike.’
‘We are,’ she replied. ‘Can I make breakfast? I want to thank you guys for last night.’
Scott leant against the counter as he sipped his coffee. ‘You don’t have to do that. You needed us.’ He paused. ‘I uh, had some friends go round to your house last night to make sure that Mark had left.’
She gasped. ‘Oh Scott, I didn”t want to drag you into this even more.’
‘Chris wouldn”t have been happy unless I did. And neither would I.’ His eyes darkened. ‘I”m just sorry he wasn”t there.’
‘I”m glad he wasn”t there. I hope I never see him again.’She smiled at him. ‘Thank you so much. Please let me repay your kindness. I”m not a great cook, but I can make pancakes.’
‘I love pancakes. You can make them, but you have to let me help. Deal?’ He held out his hand.
‘Deal.’ She took his hand and shook it. ‘I need flour, eggs, milk, a mixing bowl and a whisk.’
‘I can do all of that, apart from a mixing bowl.’ He scratched his chin and pulled a large ceramic bowl out of the cupboard. ‘We usually put popcorn into this, but I reckon it would do.’ He rummaged through the cutlery drawer and pulled out a large metal whisk. ‘I didn’t even know we had this,’ he said, handing it to her.
When Chris walked into the kitchen, she had made the tea and the pancake batter and was supervising Scott, who had poured a spoonful of batter into a frying pan and was making his first pancake.
Chris smiled at Molly. ‘You got him cooking?’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘How did you manage that?’
‘He offered,’ Molly said, shrugging, handing Chris his tea. ‘Here you go.’
‘Thanks, Moll.’ Chris took the cup from her and leant against the fridge, watching Scott. ‘I’m so glad I got here in time to see this.’
‘You’ll be eating your words as well as our awesome pancakes in a moment,’ Scott replied.
Molly held her breath as Scott flipped the first pancake with a spatula, but it landed neatly in the pan.
‘Can I have a go?’ Chris asked, putting his mug down on the worktop.
Scott nodded and reluctantly let Chris have a go. As they bickered and pushed each other out of the way, it made her miss Saskia even more.
‘You ready, Molly?’ Chris asked.
‘Sorry, Chris,’ Molly replied. ‘I zoned out.’ She noticed the plate of pancakes piled high that Scott was carrying. ‘Oh wow, good work, guys.’
Molly slid onto the bench next to Chris, who nodded for her to help herself to pancakes first, which she did, slathering them in maple syrup. Chris and Scott took a bite of their pancakes and nodded approvingly.
‘These are so good, Molly,’ Chris said, ‘but you should know you can stay here without having to make breakfast for us.’
‘You made breakfast at my place,’ Molly said, shrugging as she cut up her pancake.
‘There’s a lot of things he did at your place,’ Scott said, sniggering through a mouthful of pancake.
‘Dude. Now is not the time,’ Chris replied, shaking his head.
‘I’m so sorry, Molly,’ Scott said, running his hand through his hair. ‘I know it’s not an excuse, but I have no filter.’ He forked another pancake onto his plate and drenched it in syrup.
Molly shook her head. ‘It’s fine. I live with Saskia, remember? And I don’t want you guys to tiptoe around me. I’m alright.’ She smiled at them. ‘I’ve dodged a bullet with Mark. I’ve got the best friends, and, in a few days, I’ll get to see my dad and sister in London.’
As she ate her pancake, she felt a warm, happy feeling fizz in her stomach.
‘Thanks for being cool about it. I just blurt stuff out.’ Scott shook his head. ‘But you’re right, Saskia does the same thing.’
‘I’m slightly scared of what she’s going to do once she finds out about last night,’ Molly said. ‘She already hated Mark before all of this even happened.’
‘I know,’ Scott said, laughing. ‘Trust me, I’m doing everything I can to stay on her good side.’
‘She’s like a Rottweiler,’ Molly said. ‘But I’m not, so we balance each other out.’ She smiled at Scott. He was a good match for Saskia, and he clearly cared about her.
‘Same with us,’ Chris said. ‘I’m the peacekeeper.’ He gestured to Scott. ‘He’s the guard dog.’
Scott put down his cutlery and drained his coffee. ‘I need a shower. I might be a dog, but I don’t want to smell like one.’ He stood up and took his plate and cup with him as he walked towards the kitchen.
Molly insisted on cleaning the kitchen up, despite Chris’s protests. It helped calm her nerves, but once it was done, and she was sat on the sofa, staring out of the window, her anxiety kicked in. She needed to go home, but a part of her was still scared that Mark was waiting for her. Her phone buzzed and she picked it up cautiously.
Liz: How did it go last night? Did you break up with him? Or did he get there first?
She took a deep breath. Unless she replied to Liz, she would worry, or turn up at her house, looking for her. While Chris made them a cup of tea, she called Liz and filled her in. As soon as she told Liz that she was now at Chris”s, and safe, Liz”s worried tone dissipated. She hung up as just as Chris reappeared, handing her a mug of tea.
‘Thank you,’ she said, taking the mug of tea from him. ‘That was Liz. That was the easy phone call. Telling Saskia is going to be more...challenging.’
‘Are you worried about it?’ he asked.
‘I”m slightly concerned for Mark,’ she said. ‘Saskia is fiercely protective of me.’
He nodded. ‘That”s why I asked Scott to make sure he”d gone last night. I can”t stand the thought of anyone hurting you.’
‘I”m so grateful to him for that, and so glad he wasn”t there,’ she said. ‘I”m not sure how I”m going to convince Saskia to back off though.’
‘I don”t know either,’ he said. ‘I”m terrified of her.’
‘That”s how she likes it.’ She sighed. ‘I should go home.’
‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to,’ he said.
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I can’t out it off forever though. Don’t you usually go to the gym on a Saturday morning?’ she asked, feeling the knot of nerves in her stomach tighten.
‘Yeah, but I can skip it, or go later. It’s no big deal,’ he said. ‘Scott will be bummed that he can’t roast me for the entire session today, but it works out well for me.’
She laughed. ‘You guys are so funny together. I can’t thank you both enough for last night. You both made me feel so much better.’
‘That’s what we’re here for,’ he replied and switched on the laptop on the coffee table. ‘You want to help me plan my set at Mimosa? You love music as much as me. I could use your input.’
‘Sure,’ she said. ‘Show me what you’ve got so far.’
He opened the set list and turned the laptop around so that she could see it. ‘What do you think?’
‘I love it,’ she replied. ‘You’ve got some absolute classics in there.’
‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘I’ve been working on something for you. I’d planned on giving you this for your birthday, but I feel like you might need it right now.’ He took the laptop back and his fingers flew across the keys, opening a software program that she’d never seen before.
‘What’s that?’ she asked.
‘It’s mixing software,’ he replied. ‘I made you a kind of emo-punk-grunge mix.’ He paused. ‘Do you want to hear it?’
‘Of course!’ she said, her eyes widening. ‘I don’t know what to say, I’m touched.’
He handed her a set of headphones and she put them on as he pressed play.
‘Chris, I love it,’ she said, grinning at him. She listened to a few songs before taking off the headphones. ‘Thank you.’
It was too much. He was too much. Not only had he remembered all of her favourite bands, but he’d somehow made an amazing playlist with all of their best tracks.
‘I’ll convert the file and put it onto a flash drive for you so you can take it home,’ he said, pressing some buttons on the laptop.
‘Thank you,’ she said, swallowing the lump in her throat.
She wished she could stay here, laughing with Chris and Scott all day, but she had to face her fear.
‘Would you mind giving me a lift home? I’d rather do it in the daylight. Once it gets dark…’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘It’s harder, right?’ He stood up. ‘Your jacket’s still wet so you can borrow my hoodie if you like. It suits you.’
‘Thank you,’ she replied. ‘I’ve never had a hoodie before.’ She followed him out to the hall.
‘You’ve never had a hoodie?’ He frowned. ‘You’re twenty-six and you’ve never had a hoodie?’
She shook her head. ‘Just not part of my wardrobe.’
‘Ah well, keep that one. I’ve got loads of them,’ he replied, picking up his car keys. ‘You ready?’
She nodded and put her high heeled boots on, bursting out laughing at how ridiculous they looked under her tracksuit trousers.
‘Your clothes are still in the washing machine,’ he said. ‘I’ll get them washed and give them back to you.’
‘No hurry,’ she said, picking up her ripped coat. ‘I don’t normally wear jeans. I deliberately dressed down yesterday, and all in black for the death of our relationship. I had no idea it was going to be so…brutal. I wish I’d just broken up with him before we even left the house.’
‘You were trying to do the right thing,’ he said. ‘As always.’
‘Not always,’ she said, raising her eyebrow. ‘But in this case, I was. I just wanted it to be peaceful, you know? I wanted us to go our separate ways without any resentment.’
She followed him down the stairs and out to the car park.
He unlocked his car and opened the passenger door for her. She sank into the soft leather seat and put her seatbelt on. You’re fine, she told herself. Chris is with you. Nothing bad is going to happen.
He climbed in next to her and put his seatbelt on. ‘You ready for this?’
‘I’m ready,’ she said as he switched on the ignition. And she was. Ready for anything. An unexpected rush of courage was flooding through her. Whatever was waiting for her at home, she could face it.
The journey to her house was only ten minutes, but it was enough time for her to start feeling angry and resentful towards Mark. How could he have done that to her? After all she’d been through? When she got out of the car, she frowned. There was a man standing outside her house. A man in a suit with a large folder tucked under his arm. She and Chris looked at each other at the same time.
‘That’s not Mark,’ he said. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I don’t know, but I’m going to find out,’ she said, gritting her teeth.
The man smiled as she walked up to him. ‘Ah, you must be Molly.’ He smiled at Chris. ‘And you’re Mark, is that right? I’ve been calling you all morning, but you weren’t answering your phone.’
Molly frowned. ‘I’m sorry, who are you?’
‘I’m Liam, from Hawksmoor Estate Agents,’ he replied. ‘Your fiancé contacted me to ask me to come over to assess your property for letting.’
‘Letting?’ Molly shrieked. ‘I’m not letting my house out.’ She gestured to Chris. ‘And he’s not Mark.’ She folded her arms. ‘I think you should leave.’
‘It seems like there’s been some misunderstanding here,’ Liam said nervously. ‘Mark told me that you were moving to London and that you wanted to let the property out. It’s a beautiful house,’ he said, gesturing to it.
‘I’m not moving to London, and I am not letting my house out,’ Molly said, trying to keep her voice steady.
‘Yes, I kind of got that impression,’ Liam replied. ‘I’ll leave you to your Saturday. Sorry to bother you.’ He gave Molly and Chris a nervous smile and walked off, the heels of his brogues clipping along the pavement.
Molly was stunned. She leant against the front door, her legs feeling like jelly. ‘He contacted an estate agent behind my back?’ She let out a long exhale. Pulling the keys from her bag, she unlocked the front door and let them both in. ‘I bet he thought I’d be all loved up and would just agree to whatever he wanted as we were engaged. He’d mentioned renting this place out before and I’d told him I didn’t want to; but he obviously had other ideas.’
‘What an entitled, arrogant…’ he trailed off. ‘Sorry. I just can’t believe he did this.’
‘I can’t decide whether to ring him and shout at him, or just ignore it,’ she said, walking into the living room, and flopping down on the sofa. ‘I’m sorry it’s so cold in here. I’ll put the heating on.’
‘What would you like me to do?’ he asked. ‘Do you want me to stay? To leave you in peace?’
‘Please just stay for a while,’ she said, standing up. ‘I don’t want to be alone right now.’ She shivered.
‘I’ll stay as long as you want,’ he replied, then nodded to the fireplace. ‘How about I get a fire lit? Being cold isn’t going to make you feel any better.’
‘That would be amazing,’ she said. ‘The logs are in the basket in the back porch behind the kitchen. Saskia usually does it as I always burn my fingers.’
‘Of course,’ he replied.
While Chris got the logs, Molly turned the heating on and scrunched up some newspaper into balls, putting it into the fireplace.
‘I was a Scout, so I know my way around a fire,’ he said as he knelt next to her by the fireplace.
A few minutes later, the fire was crackling away.
‘How’s that?’
‘It’s perfect,’ she replied. ‘Thank you once again for everything. I know I’m needy.’ She sat cross legged on the rug, watching the flames flicker.
‘You’re not needy. He’s an emotionally devoid moron,’ he said darkly. ‘I’d like to see him hold his head up after the shit you’ve been through.’
‘I’ve been so blind,’ she said. ‘I was clinging on to this vision of what I thought our relationship could be and ignoring all the things that bothered me.’
‘I understand why you didn’t break up with him sooner,’ he said gently. ‘When we’re going through a shitty situation, we cling to everyone around us, even if they’re no good for us. I won’t go into details, but it was the same for Scott.’
‘Scott actually said the same thing last night,’ she replied, warming her hands over the fire. ‘I don’t even feel sad. I just feel relieved. My dad said that we didn’t have a relationship, we just went on dates, and he was so right.’
‘He’s very perceptive, your dad,’ he said. ‘I know they say don’t meet your heroes, but I’m still starstruck.’
‘I can’t wait to see him,’ she said, smiling. ‘I have no idea what this fancy suite he’s booked will be like, but everything he does is very lavish.’
‘You’ll have a great time,’ he said, then yawned.
‘You should go and get some rest,’ she said, running her fingers over his cheek. She felt warmer now, and not just because of the fire. Her proximity to him was setting her body alight.
‘Are you sure? I can stay if you want me to.’
‘I always want you to,’ she replied, her eyes meeting his, holding his gaze for just a second. ‘But I need to call Saskia and I need some time to process what’s happened.’ She stood up, straightening her sweatpants.
‘Sure,’ he said, nodding. ‘Both of those things are a good idea.’ He walked out to the hall and put on his jacket and trainers. ‘If you change your mind and need company, you know where I am.’
She rested her head against his chest, breathing him in. ‘You’re amazing. You deserve a drama-free friend, not someone like me.’
He slid his arms around her, one gripping her waist, the other stroking her hair. ‘You are amazing,’ he said. ‘Don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.’
She let him go and wiped her eyes. ‘Thanks for the pep talk.’
‘Welcome,’ he said, opening the front door. ‘Remember what I said. All of it. Good luck with Saskia, Mole.’ He smirked at her as he used Saskia’s nickname for her.
‘Thanks. She is going to be apoplectic.’ She sighed. ‘I’ll see you on Monday.’ She opened the front door for Chris.
‘If it gets dark and you get scared, ring me, and I’ll be straight over,’ he said.
‘Of course,’ she said, nodding. ‘Thank you.’
She closed the door behind him and leant against it, to stop herself from running after him and asking him to come back because she missed him already. She buried her face in her hoodie and breathed in his fresh citrus smell as tears came to her eyes. He was the kindest, sweetest human being and she dreamed of a day that she could tell him that she loved him, although she felt that he deserved someone a lot less chaotic than her.
Now that he’d gone, the only sound was the clanking of the radiators as they warmed up. She wiped her eyes and walked back into the living room, keen for noise and distraction from the swirl of emotions in her mind.
When she walked back into the living room, the fire was roaring, warming up the whole room. She sat down on the sofa and picked up her phone. It was almost midday. This would be the best time of day to catch Saskia. She sighed and dialled her number.
‘Hey, Mole! How are you doing?’
Saskia’s voice made Molly smile. ‘Hey, Sas. I need to tell you something and it is good news, but it might not sound like it at first, so just bear with me.’
‘Oh God, Molly, what’s going on?’ Saskia sounded concerned.
‘I’ll start at the beginning,’ Molly replied.
The second that Molly finished her blow-by-blow account of the last twenty-four hours, Saskia exploded. ‘That stuck up, lying, deceitful, sack of shit!’
‘I know,’ Molly replied. ‘I’m so glad it’s over. I feel like I can be me again.’
‘You actually said that to him? About Beth riding him in Copenhagen?’ Saskia let out a cackle. ‘I love it.’
‘I think I was channelling a bit of my inner Saskia,’ Molly said drily. ‘I don”t know what”s worse, that argument or the fact that he thought he could just persuade me to rent out our house.’ She paused. ‘I hadn”t had a nightmare for a while, and I had one last night at Chris”s.’
‘He”s crossed a line,’ Saskia said, her voice rough.
‘Saskia,’ Molly said, ‘Don”t get involved. He”s not worth it.’
‘No one hurts my sister,’ Saskia replied. ‘He”s got away with too much for too long.’
Molly sighed. ‘Don”t jeopardise everything you”ve worked so hard for.’
‘I won”t,’ Saskia replied. ‘I”ve matured. I promise I won”t do anything stupid.’
‘Good,’ Molly said. ‘You should know that your boyfriend saved the day last night. He knew what I needed even when I didn”t.’
‘He is a sweetheart,’ Saskia said. ‘I”m so glad you we were with them last night. The only thing that”s stopping me from getting on a train to be with you right now is knowing that you”ve got those guys just around the corner. I bet Chris didn”t leave your side all night did he?’
‘No he didn”t.’ Molly replied. ‘Saskia. I love him. I’ve loved him for a while. Not as a friend. More like I want to marry him, and have his babies, and grow old with him.’
‘Shit!’ Saskia exclaimed. ‘That’s monumental. I’m guessing you haven’t told him?’
‘And collapse our friendship?’ Molly welled up, her voice cracking. ‘I don’t need any more complications right now. I just wanted to tell you because if you were here, I would tell you and I miss you.’ Her tears fell onto the wooden floorboards, and she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie.
‘Oh, Mole, I miss you too,’ Saskia replied. ‘I wish I was there withyou now. I wish I”d been there last night. I hate thinking about you in the city on your own.’ She paused. ‘You dealt with it so well. You know that, right? I”m proud of you.’
‘Thank you,’ Molly replied. ‘I do feel proud of myself for standing up to him. I wish I”d done it sooner.’
‘You”ve done it now and that”s what matters. Listen, I need to go, but if that douchebag dares to contact you again, you tell me. Or Scott. We will deal with it.’
Molly groaned. ‘OK, fine. He can”t contact me anyway. I deleted his number, and I blocked him.’
‘Don”t forget social media,’ Saskia replied. ‘Remove him from everything.’
‘Thank you for looking out for me,’ Molly said. ‘I love you.’
‘I love you too,’ Saskia said. ‘Remember I”ve always got your back.’