Chapter Twenty-Three
December 2014, Canterbury, Kent, England
Molly woke up the following day feeling restored after a deep sleep. She’d slept in Chris’s hoodie, unable to take it off, his familiar smell comforting her as she fell asleep. She rolled over and pulled herself out of bed and into the shower, then went downstairs and pulled a croissant out of the freezer, switching the oven on to heat it. The warm buttery smell made her feel hungry, and as it cooked, she gazed at the bare branches of the trees and piles of leaves on the decking outside.
Then it hit her. Christmas was almost here, and she still hadn’t decorated the house. As she ate her breakfast, she smiled to herself as she remembered decorating the house with Saskia and their mum. They would get the boxes out of the loft, turn on some Christmas classics and turn their house into a festive wonderland. Her mum would make a yule log, and Saskia would usually end up wearing baubles for earrings and tinsel as a feather boa.
They’d spent Christmas in France many times, staying with her papa in his sprawling farmhouse in the hills of Provence. She wrinkled her nose as she remembered the French tradition of eating oysters on Christmas Day, something she despised, and chestnuts, which she loved. It wasn”t long until she would be reunited with him, and the thought made her smile.
Choosing a Christmas playlist from her phone, she turned up the volume on the speakers in the kitchen as she made a thin chocolate sponge cake, and rolled it tightly up to decorate later. She cleaned the kitchen, then got the boxes of Christmas decorations out of the loft and stacked them in the hall.
Once she’d done that, she collapsed onto the sofa, still in Chris’s hoodie. She couldn’t bring herself to take it off. It felt like a giant grey comfort blanket. The doorbell rang, and she froze, afraid it was Mark. Slowly, she slid off the sofa and tiptoed to the living room window, where she could see the front door. Seeing that it was Liz and Martha, she breathed a sigh of relief.
‘Hey guys, come in,’ Molly said as she opened the front door.
‘Hello, love,’ Liz kissed Molly on the cheek. ‘I just wanted to check in on you.’
‘Hello, Auntie Molly,’ Martha said, before sitting on the floor and removing her little boots.
‘Hello darling,’ Molly said to Martha, then turned to Liz. ‘I’m alright.’
‘He’s not contacted you, has he?’ Liz asked.
‘No,’ Molly said. ‘I blocked his number and deleted him off my social media. I’ve not heard anything from him.’
Liz nodded to the pile of boxes. ‘Do you need a hand decorating? I’m sure my little elf wouldn’t mind.’
Molly nodded. ‘I could do with a hand.’
‘Molly Millot asking for help? Wonders will never cease.’ Liz raised her eyebrows. ‘Put the kettle on and we’ll make a start.’
Molly led them into the kitchen. ‘Actually, I’ve got another job that I need some help with first and it involves chocolate cake. Are you in?’
‘Uh yes,’ Liz said. ‘What do we need to do?’
‘Get your hands washed girls; we’ve got a Yule log to make,’ Molly replied.
Molly let Martha help measure out the ingredients for the buttercream into the bowl of her stand mixer, then she put all the utensils they would need onto the dining table and opened the dresser to get her mum’s holly printed plate out.
She lifted Martha onto one of the chairs and called Liz, who was making them all cups of tea in the kitchen.
‘We’re ready!’
She peeled the chocolate sponge away from the baking paper and unrolled it onto the plate, then handed a palette knife to Martha.
‘You need to spread it with buttercream, sweetie, just like this.’ She swiped the other palette knife into the buttercream and smoothed it over the surface of the sponge cake. ‘Got it?’
‘I got it,’ Martha replied and put the knife into the buttercream, before spreading it over the cake.
Once Martha had covered it in buttercream, Molly rolled up the sponge, cut the ends off and attached them to the log to make branches, then handed her palette knife to Liz. ‘You want to have a go?’
Liz dipped the knife into the bowl of buttercream and smoothed it onto the sponge. ‘Ooh, this is satisfying.’
‘I know, right?’ Molly turned to Martha. ‘You’re doing a great job, Martha.’
‘Have you taken Chris’s hoodie off since you got back from his place?’ Liz, asked, raising her eyebrow.
‘Uh…’ Molly blushed. ‘How did you know it was Chris’s?’
‘He was wearing it that morning I came over after he’d stayed over,’ Liz replied. ‘You didn’t answer the question.’
‘No,’ Molly said, fixing her eyes on Liz. ‘I haven’t taken it off. It smells like him, and it makes me feel happy. So, it’s staying on.’
‘I’ve known you since we were at school together and I’ve never known you fall for someone the way you have for him,’ Liz said. ‘And you ran to him last night. You didn”t try to hide what you were going through. You let him be there for you.’
‘I did,’ Molly said slowly. ‘But there’s no way he’d want to be involved with me. He’s seen the kind of mayhem that follows me around. He needs someone less complicated.’
‘Maybe you should let him decide what he wants,’ Liz said bluntly. ‘I don’t mean right now. You need to process what’s happened, but at some point, you need to tell him that you’re in love with him.’
Molly wrinkled her nose and turned her attention back to the cake, neatening up Martha’s work. ‘That’s the worst part. The scariest part.’
‘He deserves to know,’ Liz said. ‘Otherwise, it’s not a proper friendship if you’re hiding something from him. Can you be his friend if you’re in love with him? Could you watch him date someone else?’
‘No.’ Molly wrinkled her nose. ‘I have to tell him. I just need some time to process…everything.’
‘That’s totally understandable,’ Liz said. ‘You know I’m here for you, don’t you? You don’t have to deal with any of this on your own.’
‘I do,’ Molly said. ‘And I’m so grateful. I’m always here for you, too, you know.’
‘Oh I know.’ Liz smiled, then flicked her eyes to Martha. ‘The buttercream is supposed to go on the cake darling, not in your mouth.’
Molly smiled at Martha and discreetly took the palette knife out of her hand. ‘Why don’t I go and get some plates and we can all have a slice?’
‘Yes please, Auntie Molly,’ Martha said.
After they’d eaten their slices of cake, Molly led Martha and Liz into the living room and gave Martha one of the children’s books she’d worked on over the year. Martha settled on the sofa and started reading.
Liz opened her large canvas shopping bag and showed Molly the reindeer pyjamas she’d bought for Martha.
Molly squealed. ‘I love them. Do they make them in my size?’
Liz laughed. ‘I thought you’d say that.’ She reached into the bag. ‘Here you go. An early Christmas present.’ She pulled out a larger pair of pyjamas and handed them to Molly.
‘Thank you so much!’ Molly said, standing up and holding the pyjamas against her, before giving Liz and Martha hug. ‘I’ve got your presents upstairs, hold on.’ Molly ran upstairs and returned with two neatly wrapped boxes, which she handed to Liz. ‘You can open them if you like, it’s not long until Christmas.’
‘Can I, Mummy?’ Martha asked.
Liz nodded and Martha tore off the paper.
‘It’s the new Boulangerie Bleue book!’ Martha said excitedly, waving the book at Liz.
Molly smiled at Martha. ‘Do you like it? It’s not out for a few months yet, but I managed to get you an advance copy.’ She winked at Martha.
‘Thanks, love, you know how much she loves that series,’ Liz said and opened her own present. ‘Ooh, just what I need.’ She slipped the gloves on and wrapped the scarf around her neck. ‘Thank you.’ She leant over and gave Molly a hug. ‘I know this time of year is hard for you without your mum and Saskia, and I want you to know that we’re all here for you.’
‘Thank you,’ Molly replied, smiling.
Maybe family wasn’t just the people you were related to. She thought about Scott, who had found a whole new family when Chris’s parents adopted him. Although she wasn’t related to Liz, she’d always been a part of Liz’s family, and Liz hers.
‘No need to thank me. That’s what friends are for.’ Liz stood up. ‘Now, are we going to get this place decorated?’
‘Hold on,’ Molly said, picking up her phone and selecting her Christmas playlist, before pairing it with her speakers. ‘Now we’re all set.’
Molly assembled the artificial Christmas tree, and tasked Martha with choosing some baubles for it while she and Liz wrapped strings of fairy lights around it.
Molly found the velvet stocking, embroidered with an M, S, and an N, for Molly, Saskia and Nancy, and she hung them up on the mantelpiece, before adding her LED candles, which when they were switched on, gave the room a cosy glow.
‘I’ve switched from regular candles,’ Molly said to Liz. ‘If I’m on my own, I feel safer with LED ones. At least if I fall asleep, they won’t burn the house down.’
‘Very sensible, but that’s no surprise. You’ve always been risk averse,’ Liz replied.
‘I think this year I’ve done just the opposite,’ Molly said, laughing. ‘I got mugged, then I went out and got drunk in a Halloween costume. I fell in love with a stranger, and I ran through a dark city on my own late at night.’
‘This year’s been wild,’ Liz said, shaking her head. ‘Let’s hope next year is less dramatic.’
‘I’m keeping my fingers crossed,’ Molly replied.
‘I’m finished with the baubles, Auntie Molly,’ Martha said.
‘I like your work,’ Molly said. ‘Can you choose some for me to add to the higher branches? You can’t reach those, can you?’
‘They’re too high for me,’ Martha said and sorted through the box, handing a green bauble to Molly. ‘This one first.’
When the tree was finished, Molly got her phone out and took a picture of her, Liz, and Martha in front of it. ‘I’ll send that to Saskia so that she knows I’ve kept the tradition going.’
‘Well, I’m very honoured that we’ve been allowed to join in,’ Liz replied. ‘We had better go home. I need to cook dinner as Jacob’s working.’
‘You”re welcome to stay,’ Molly said. ‘We used to have fish and chips in our pyjamas after we”d decorated. Do you want to do that?’
Liz turned at Martha. ‘What do you think?’
‘Can we, Mummy?’ Martha asked.
‘Of course,’ Liz replied.
Molly gestured to the neatly folded pyjamas on the sofa. ‘I’ve even got new pyjamas to wear. Did you get yourself a pair?’
Liz walked over to her bag and pulled out another pair. ‘Of course.’
‘Brilliant,’ Molly said. ‘You guys go and put your pyjamas on. I’ll run to the fish and chip shop, then we can watch a film.’ She walked over to the drawer on the TV unit and pulled it open. ‘The Christmas films are in there. Choose whatever you like.’
‘Are you sure you don’t mind going? It’s dark out there, and you don’t love the dark,’ Liz said, biting her lip.
‘I’ll be fine. Get yourselves ready and I’ll be back soon.’
Molly pulled on her coat over Chris’s hoodie and put on her boots, shutting the door behind her. As she drove to the fish and chip shop, she reflected on how far she’d come. A few months ago, she couldn’t even walk into a café in the daytime and here she was in the dark driving out to get fish and chips.
They ate in front of the TV, the candles glowing softly on the mantelpiece. When the film finished, Martha was fast asleep on the end of the sofa.
Liz rubbed her eyes. ‘I should go home.’
‘You can stay if you like,’ Molly replied.
‘No, I’ll get back. I can get away with getting Martha back and into her bed without waking her up if you give me a hand,’ Liz replied.
Liz carried Martha to the car and Molly opened the door as quietly as she could, standing back while Liz clipped her seatbelt around her, then tucked a blanket over the top of her. She shut the car door, then pulled Molly towards her.
‘Thanks for having us over,’ she said as she squeezed Molly tightly.
‘Thanks for your help with the tree and the cake,’ Molly said as she let go of Liz. ‘And thanks for my pyjamas, I love them.’
‘But you’ll still be sleeping in the hoodie, right?’ Liz grinned at her.
Molly nodded. ‘He said I could keep it.’
‘He’s a good man,’ Liz said, opening her car door. ‘And you’re just as good. Don’t let yourself think otherwise.’ She climbed into her car. ‘Call me if you need anything. Oh and thanks for the cake.’
‘Enjoy it. Make sure that Jacob gets a slice,’ Molly said, raising her eyebrow.
‘I will. Maybe.’ Liz smiled. ‘Have the best Christmas, let me know if you need me.’
‘You too. I’ll speak to you soon.’ Molly blew her a kiss and went back inside the house.
It was empty, and quiet and she locked the door behind her, then curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea, admiring the twinkling fairy lights. It had been less than twenty-four hours since she”d last seen him, but her heart ached for Chris. She picked up her phone and her heart skipped a beat when she saw a message from him.
Chris: Hey, how are you doing today? I”m here if you need anything, or just don”t want to be alone.
Molly: I”m good. Liz and Martha came over and we decorated the house. We made a Yule log too. Maybe you should come over and try it...
Chris: Maybe?
Molly: Definitely
Chris: On my way